by Brie Paisley
I watch Viktor as he walks inside and he seems to have let go of whatever was bothering him. He stares at me for a few moments, but doesn’t make a move to talk to me or to touch me. He drops his head, and goes into the living room with Gabbie. I hear them start to play together as I fix lunch. I quickly put together some sandwiches, adding apples and grapes to Gabbie’s plate. I’m setting our plates on the kitchen island when my phone starts to ring. I pick it up, and I almost don’t answer when I don’t recognize the number. Thinking it might be the lawyer, I answer it.
“Hello?”
I hear a man clear his throat and then I hear his voice. “Hey, Ava. Please don’t hang up.”
I close my eyes, gulping down the tirade I want to spray his way. The last thing I need is for him to have a reason to keep up with this custody thing. “What do you want, Malcolm?” I see Viktor watching me, but I have to talk to Malcolm. I have to get him to drop this custody battle.
“I’m sorry, Ava. I just … Look Gabbie’s mine too, and I know I haven’t been there, and I have done some stupid shit, but I want a chance to get to know her.”
I’m pissed off royally now but keep it together. I don’t want to give him an inch of anything that he can use against me. “How did you find out her name? And how did you even get my number?”
“I went by your parent’s house looking for you. Your mom wouldn’t tell me where you lived, but she told me your number and told me I needed to meet Gabbie. She actually made me feel like a real asshole for not being there.”
I run my hand through my hair, wondering if he said anything to mom about where we met up again. I can’t get mad at mom, but damn, why didn’t she warn me? “Well she’s half right. You are an asshole.”
“Come on, Ava. Can’t we just act like adults and be civil?”
“Hey, you called yourself an asshole, I’m just agreeing with you. I don’t understand why all of a sudden you want to see her. I just don’t get it.” Viktor is still watching me, but I turn away from him. This whole situation is beginning to get out of hand and it’s starting to feel awkward talking to Malcolm while Viktor’s here.
“How about we meet tomorrow and I’ll explain. Please Ava. I want to see Gabbie.” I sigh and turn back around. I watch Gabbie play in the floor with her baby dolls, and even though she has Viktor, a part of me begins to consider she might need her father too.
“Alright. We can meet at the park that way we can talk and Gabbie can play.”
“Thank you, Ava.”
“Don’t thank me yet. I said I’d bring her, not that you could have any interaction with her.”
“I understand.” I sigh as I give him directions to the park down the road from my house and we agree to meet after lunch tomorrow. I hang up, thinking the conversation wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I can only hope Malcolm will act like a damn adult and not some selfish prick.
“You’re letting him see her?” I lay my phone down and I glance up at Viktor wondering how long he’s been listening to my conversation. I won’t lie to myself. It kind of pisses me off he was listening.
“Yes, I am. It’s not like I have a choice. You heard what the lawyer said to both of us. If we at least try it this way, maybe he’ll stop this whole custody thing.”
“I don’t want Gabbie near him. He has no right to see her after what he did two the both of you. Gabbie doesn’t even know he exists!” He turns away from me, clearly frustrated at me.
“I know that. But what do you want me to do about it? I can’t risk him pushing this and the possibility of him getting sole custody of her. I don’t want that and I sure as hell don’t want to drag her through a nasty court battle.”
“I don’t want that for her either. I,” he turns back to me and grabs me. He leans his head down on mine and I can’t help to wrap my arms around his waist. I want to be angry with him for acting like a jerk, when he should be supporting me and my decision. “I just don’t like that fact that he’s getting exactly what he wants. I can’t help be jealous and over protective of my girls.”
I like the way he claimed Gabbie and I. It’s strange to feel more secure about him and me when he says things like that. “I don’t like it either, but we have to try at least.”
“I know. Doesn’t mean I have to like or agree with it.”
I pull away from him as I say, “I know you don’t like this. I don’t either. What if you went with us tomorrow?” I don’t know why I asked him that. Maybe for his peace of mind?
He shakes his head and tells me, “I don’t think that would be the best idea. I’m liable to kill the bastard for trying to take Gabbie away. No, you go, and I’ll go to work for a while.”
“Alright.” I turn my head toward Gabbie when she starts singing. I smile and turn back to Viktor. “Can we enjoy the rest of the day together now?”
He smirks at me and grabs my hand. I start to walk away, but he pulls me to him. I place my hands on my chest, while giggling like a kid. I’m grateful he’s able to help me forget, just for a little while what’s going on around us. Viktor slides a hand up my cheek and pushes my hair behind my ear as he leans in and kisses me. His kiss is soft but demanding at the same time. His hold on my hair tightens, and he takes my breath away. I can feel my body coming alive for him as he continues to kiss me. I could kiss him just like this forever if he’d let me. It seems it’s been way to long since he’s last kissed me this way, and I deepen the kiss more.
He pulls away from me and says, “YA nadeyus', chto vy znayete, kak sil'no ya zabochus' o tebe. YA nadeyus', chto vy vidite, skol'ko ya zabochus.'” I’ve no idea what he said, but I have a feeling he’s telling me something I need to hear. It could also be because he knows I love it when he speaks in Russian. His hand slowly drops from my hair, and he leads me into the living room. Gabbie is dancing, and I can’t help but smile while I watch her. For some reason I feel I’m watching her differently now. Maybe it’s because I know what’s on the line, and I want to enjoy all these moments with her. I promise myself, I will never take another moment, good or bad, for granted with her again.
The next day, I get Gabbie ready to meet her dad. It’s still strange to me to think of Malcolm as a dad after so long. And it hurts me to have to think of him when I’ve finally managed to put him in a place in my mind where I can move on. Gabbie of course, isn’t the least interested about hearing anything about Malcolm. She’s more excited about going to the park and playing on the slide. Viktor left an hour before we’re supposed to leave, and I can tell he’s worried about today. He didn’t have to say it, I felt it. I hate that Malcolm coming back is causing more problems and I wish Malcolm would’ve just stayed away.
“Come on, Gabbie, we have to go.”
“Okay, mommy.” She reaches for my hand as I close the door, and I put her in the car seat as we reach my SUV. The park isn’t far from the house, and the whole way there, Gabbie doesn’t say much. I don’t know if she understands what’s going on or not. I know she’s smart for her age, and I can’t help but wonder if she’s nervous like I am. Meeting with Malcolm again, is bringing up a lot of feelings and insecurities from the past. I don’t want to feel this way. I want to be strong and not have a million butterflies in my stomach as we get closer to the park.
I pull in the parking lot right beside the park and I’m glad I don’t see Malcolm yet. I turn around in my seat and I look at Gabbie for a moment.
“You okay, baby?”
“Me tummy hurts,” she tells me and rubs her belly. I know she’s not hungry, or sick. She was fine all morning.
“We can go back home. We don’t have to see Malcolm if you don’t want to.” I hate that she doesn’t understand what’s happening. I tried to explain to her this morning, but she’s just too young to fully grasp what’s at stake, and in a way, I’m glad she won’t understand the disappointment if he doesn’t show.
She really seems to think about what I’m saying for a bit. She bounces her foot up and down in her seat, and she
looks out the window. “Hers play with me?”
“Yeah, baby. He’ll play with you. Only if you want to.”
“Mommy, me swing now?”
I nod, knowing her mind is only set on playing now. I get out, and grab her out of her seat. I grab her bag, and I carry her to the park. Only two other kids are playing, and I still don’t see Malcolm anywhere. I sit Gabbie down by me as I sit on the bench and wait for a few minutes. Gabbie starts whining about playing after about two minutes of waiting, so we get up and I help her get on the swing. I push her for a while, still watching to see if Malcolm shows.
After thirty minutes pass, I decide to stop waiting for Malcolm to show. Gabbie and I swing for a little longer, then we slide down the slide together. Her laughter is infectious and I find myself having a blast with her. After the slide, we build sand castles in the sandbox. We take selfies, and I love how in each one both of us are smiling. I chase her around the park for a bit. I stand still as she falls and scraps her knee, but she gets right back up and turns around and says, “Me okay, mommy,” and takes off again. I hold her up as she climbs on the monkey bars and I even sit on the little animal rides with her.
I can tell she’s getting tired when she starts rubbing her eyes and when I check the time, I realize we’ve been here over two hours. And still no Malcolm. I can’t say I’m not disappointed. I really thought he was serious about meeting Gabbie. At the same time relief fills me and I can only hope he drops this crap about gaining custody. I take Gabbie’s hand and I pick up her bag on the bench. We walk back to my SUV and as I open the back door to put Gabbie in her seat, I hear my name being called.
I turn around to see Malcolm walking over to us. I sigh and roll my eyes. I set Gabbie’s bag on the floor board in the SUV and I pick a very tired Gabbie up. She wraps her arms and legs tightly around me and I shut the door and lean against it. I watch him carefully as he approaches us, but I hope he can tell how annoyed I am.
“You’re late,” I snap.
“I know. I’m sorry. I had something I needed to take care of.”
I shake my head. “Wow, Malcolm. You’re the one that wanted to meet her, but yet you had something better to do?”
“Look, I said I was sorry, okay. I’m here now.”
“No, Malcolm. It doesn’t work that way. We’ve been here for over two hours waiting for you. Now Gabbie’s tired and she needs a nap.”
Malcolm shifts his weight on his feet and places a hand in his back pocket. “Why don’t I follow you home and we can talk while she naps? That way when she wakes up, I can spend time with her.”
Alarm bells ring in my head. I am not comfortable with that suggestion at all. “No. I don’t want you to coming to my house.”
“Why not? I know I fucked up today, but I do want to see her and we do need to talk.”
“I said no, Malcolm. You haven’t been a part of my life for a long time and you certainly don’t get to dictate if you come to my home or not.” I don’t like the idea of him being in my home seeing my new life. I don’t want him to know where Gabbie plays or see her little scribbles of drawings on my fridge. And then I know if Viktor ever found out he was there while he wasn’t home, it would be hell. Gabbie starts to whine, and I know if I don’t leave now, she’ll start to throw a tantrum soon.
“I have to go.” I turn to open the door again, but I step back when Malcolm shuts it with his hand.
“What if I don’t want you to go?”
I frown, shaking my head. “I’m leaving. Get out of my way.” I push him with one hand and the other holds onto Gabbie. She lifts her head to see what’s going on and when Malcolm sees her, he moves out of the way. I open the door again and I buckle Gabbie in her seat. I shut the door and turn to walk to the driver’s side when Malcolm touches my shoulder.
I stop and push his hand away from me. I begin to walk away again, but his voice stops me. “She has my eyes.”
I sigh and say, “I know.” I don’t know if he hears me or not. I don’t turn around to see. I get in my SUV, and crank it. I pull out of the parking lot, and I’m proud of myself when I don’t look back. The ride home is quiet, and I quickly check in the rear view mirror seeing Gabbie’s fallen asleep. I’m glad we at least had fun together today. I can’t remember the last time it was just Gabbie and I like that. I smile remembering how she laughed while I chased her, and how she would tell me to push her higher in the swing. It’s moments like this that makes me want to quit my job at the club, and let Viktor take care of us.
I pull into my driveway and park the SUV. I wait a minute before getting out when I see Viktor waiting for us on the front porch. I’m confused to why he’s home so early. I get out and he walks toward the back of the SUV to collect Gabbie. I grab her bag and I watch him as he holds sleeping Gabbie close to him. He rubs her back and she moves her head to his other shoulder and lets out a whimper. The sight of them together melts my heart. I shut the door and we walk in the house. I set Gabbie’s bag down by the couch and Viktor takes Gabbie to her room.
I sit down and rub my eyes. My head feels like it’s in a vice and I know it’s more from stress than anything. Even if Malcolm showed up late today, I have a feeling he’ll be back. I hate that I can’t just tell him to go fuck himself. I guess I could, but it would make things way worse than they already are. I wish he’d never came to the club. I wish I had never worked that stupid VIP party and I wish he never recognized me. Funny how fate can be a real bitch sometimes.
I turn my head when I hear Viktor walking down the stairs. He comes over by me and sits down. He pulls me into his lap and I sit facing him. We both remain silent for a few moments, just enjoying the comfort of each other. I close my eyes and sigh deeply as he runs a hand through my hair. I lean down and lay on his shoulder as he continues to help me relax. It’s crazy to me how he knows I’m stressed just by seeing me.
“How did it go?” he asks softly.
I raise up, placing my hands on his shoulders. “Well, it was perfect until he showed up.” He tilts his head, waiting for me to explain. “He was two hours late. But while I waited and gave up on him, Gabbie and I played for hours. I wish you had come. I wish you could’ve seen how happy she was.” I look away, lost in the moment but I feel him touch my legs and I finish telling him what all happened. “As we were leaving, he showed up. Gabbie was so tired and I knew she was ready for her nap. What pisses me off the most is he said he had something to take care of. It’s like we still don’t matter even though he’s suing me for custody.” I shake my head, and I’m grateful I have Viktor to vent to. “He wanted to come here,” Viktor’s hands still and I quickly add, “I told him there was no way he was coming by here. I don’t want him here.”
Viktor moves me so I’m sitting beside him with my legs in is lap. He takes my shoes and my socks off, and starts to rub my feet. “I’m sorry, moya lyubov'. I don’t understand why he wanted to see her, but he was late. I know you wanted to try and talk about things with him, but maybe it’s better if we keep him away from Gabbie.” He stops rubbing for a second, to look at me and asks, “Why would he ask to come here?”
I shrug. “I really don’t know. He said he and I could talk while Gabbie slept, and when she woke up he’d spend time with her. I didn’t feel comfortable with him being here, knowing you were gone.” I see him smirk, and he starts to work on massaging my other foot. “That feels really good.”
“I thought you might need it.”
“Yes,” I moan out as I fall back on the couch. I hear Viktor chuckle as I close my eyes. Who knew he had such feet rubbing skills?
“Are you seeing him again?”
“I don’t know. He didn’t ask after I told him I had to go.” I hope he doesn’t notice how my voice is shaking. I don’t want him to know Malcolm touched me and didn’t want me to go. I breathe in a sigh of relief he didn’t catch my white lie. I hate that I felt the need to lie to him, but I knew he’d overreact about it whole situation. Viktor continues to rub my feet and i
f he keeps up with it, I’m going to fall asleep. I open my eyes when he starts to massage up my calf, slowly making his way to my thighs. “What are doing, Vik?”
He takes his hands off me, and I groan. I didn’t want him to stop. He chuckles, and leans down. “Come,” he tells me while holding out his hand. I don’t even have to think about it. I put mine in his hand, and he helps me off the couch. He leads me up the stairs, past Gabbie’s room and the spare bedroom. He opens my bedroom door and shuts the door once we are inside.
“Take your clothes off,” he demands in his husky voice. I love that voice. And I love how that commanding voice makes my body respond.
He stands by the door, watching me. I do as he demands, and I slowly take my shirt off. I pull one arm through the sleeve and do the same with my other arm. I slowly pull my shirt over my head and let it drop to the floor. I move my hair from my face, but my eyes never leave his. It’s almost as if he has me under some sort of spell. But I don’t care. I slowly take my hands and run them down my stomach. Once I reach my hips, I move to the button of my jeans, slowly unbuttoning them. I do the same with the zipper, loving how entranced Viktor is while watching me. Who knew undressing like this for him would be such a turn on and empowering. It gives me a thrill like no other seeing his eye blazing with hunger. With need and want.
All for me.
Pushing my jeans down, I bend and wiggle my legs. They drop to my ankles and I step out of them. I kick them over by my shirt and I touch my thighs, running my hands up my body until I get to my bra. I unhook it from the back, but I don’t let it just fall all off me. I take one hand and hold it over my breasts as I slowly drag my strap down my shoulder. I do exactly the same to the other side and once both straps are hanging, I let my arms drop. I hear an intake of Viktor’s breath and I can’t help but to grin. I move my hands down my body once more until I reach my panties. I slowly pull down the lace material watching Viktor’s mouth open as he watches me. They fall to the floor once they pass my hips and I kick them to my pile of clothes beside me.
