Shit again.
“Slade?” Caleb asked. “Something you forgot to mention?”
“Her research is as important to them as to us.”
“Shit.”
Inside Slade, the vampire rose with the need to protect. His bones ached with the desire to morph. The coppery taste of blood flooded his mouth as his fangs bared for battle.
Allie snatched up Joseph. “How do you know this?”
Shoving Allie and Joseph behind him, Caleb asked too quietly, “Yes, Enforcer, how do you know?”
Tobias cocked an eyebrow at them. “You can smell the need to mate on him. But she couldn’t take his bite.” Tobias cocked his head to his side. “Was it your saliva that sickened her?”
“Slade?” Allie asked.
Was she so sensitive just his saliva could hurt her. He ran his hand over his nape. “I don’t know.”
She can’t stay here.
Slade turned with a snarl, meeting the Enforcer’s mental push with one of his own. “The hell she can’t. One foot off this property, and Sanctuary will have her.”
Tobias’s gaze didn’t shift from Slade’s. Neither did his energy. “She can be guarded, but not here.”
“She stays.”
“Slade?” Caleb asked.
“Why does she have to leave?” Allie interrupted.
“To have a mate so close and not take her will drive him insane.”
Slade deflected another probe from Tobias, feeling the were’s state of surprise that he could. There was a lot his brothers and the Enforcer didn’t know about him. A lot he’d kept to himself.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not.”
Fine enough. “I would never hurt Jane.”
“Yes, you would.”
The next snarl came from his toes.
The Enforcer stood—tall, broad shouldered, big enough to give even a Johnson pause. “But not because you wanted to. And that’s the problem. We can’t afford to lose her. And we can’t afford to lose you.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Caleb demanded.
“When the pressure gets to be too much, he will go berserk.”
“Berserk?”
“Crazy with rage. No one will be safe.”
“Slade? Berserk?”
It was a measure of Allie’s sweetness that she couldn’t see the beast within any of them.
“The McClarens have offered her protection,” Tobias continued. “They will fight to the death for her. As you will fight for Slade.” Folding his arms across his chest, he finished, “No matter what side wins that battle, it will be Sanctuary that wins the war.”
Joseph fussed. Allie swore and patted his back. “That can’t happen. Ever.”
“No, it can’t.” The resolution in Caleb’s voice sent a chill down Slade’s spine.
“Maybe she can disappear.”
And Slade can go with her. The projection bled from Allie to Slade. Slade shook his head. “They’ll never forget about her.”
Caleb set his coffee cup on the table. “Maybe it’s time you told us why?”
How much to tell?
All of it.
Shut the hell up, Enforcer.
“The formula she was working on has promise.”
“It can help Joseph?” Allie asked with that ever-present hope Slade wished he could fulfill.
“Maybe. But that’s not its true value.”
“And what would that be?” Jace asked, entering the room. He had the same square features as all of them, but his hair was longer under his hat, in the werewolf style, and he was flanked by two D’Nally Enforcers. On his cheek was a fading bruise. In an hour it would be gone.
“Hey, Jace. Still settling out the nuances of leadership?”
“Nah, just teaching the rogues technique.”
“They must be getting better.”
“They’re showing promise.” He poured a cup of coffee. “So tell me about the true value of this formula.”
Slade hesitated. He could normally tell his brothers anything, but Jace was aligned with the D’Nallys now and Tobias had his own agenda.
“Goddamn it, Slade, you brought her here, we have a right to know,” Caleb snarled.
He settled for a compromise. “She’s a valuable resource, Caleb. We can’t afford to lose her.”
“Apparently we can’t afford to keep her, if Tobias is to be believed.”
“Tobias is just taking shots in the dark.”
“Accurate ones, if the look on his face is any indication.”
The Enforcer had a way of knowing things. His only weakness was little Penny. When he was around that baby, he was a different man. Almost ... human.
“I know you can’t hide it anymore,” Caleb said.
Shit. “You know that experiment I’ve been working on since we became vampires? Finding a way to sustain ourselves without taking blood?”
“Yeah.”
“I think Jane’s research holds the key.”
“The hell it does,” Jace remarked.
“You sure of that?” Caleb asked.
“No, I’m not sure. I haven’t seen all her research files, but I think it’s likely, though the woman doesn’t know what she’s holding.”
Jace tapped his fingers on the table. “Hell, Slade, that would make the woman as brilliant as you.”
She was more than brilliant. She was vulnerable and sweet. And his. Until the split second it would take him to lose control, and then she’d be dead or worse. Dying a slow death as her organs dissolved under failed conversion. But he couldn’t let her go. Couldn’t trust her to someone else.
“That’s going to be a problem,” Tobias muttered.
Yeah it was.
“Where is this research?” Jace asked, cutting to the chase as always.
“I don’t know yet.”
That jerked everyone’s head up. Caleb swore. “Christ, you’ve been with the woman constantly and we don’t have it yet?”
“What would you have me do, rape her mind?”
“Whatever it takes,” Tobias growled.
“How can you say that?” Allie asked, shocked.
Tobias pushed his chair in, his golden eyes sweeping over the Johnsons. It rattled unsteadily. “Because anyone who controls the ability to sustain life, holds the secret to taking it.”
“Son of a bitch.” Caleb grabbed the chair “They could poison the water, the environment.”
“Only if the compound were able to be inhaled or absorbed through the skin,” Slade countered.
“Do you know that it’s not?”
“No.”
Jace shook his head. “You need to get that research, Slade.”
“I know.”
“You’re the closest to her. She trusts you.”
“I know,” he all but shouted.
Allie pushed past Caleb. “You can’t ask him to betray his mate’s trust!”
“She’s not a true mate if she can’t take his blood,” Jace interrupted.
“We don’t have any choice,” Tobias snarled. “We can’t risk Sanctuary getting to the formula first.”
“And what are you going to do if you get to it first?” she demanded. “What’s so holy about your purposes?”
Tobias stood. “Not a goddamn thing, but when the dying’s done, Sanctuary won’t be waving a victory flag.”
With a shake of her head, Allie stepped forward, reaching out for Slade’s arm as if her small hand could contain the force of the inevitable. “You can’t do this, Slade.”
Slade touched his energy to Jane’s. Felt her strength, her turmoil. Her vulnerability. Her need and that ever-present rightness that always came with the joining of their energy. His vampire snarled a warning. His human side grieved, but looking around the room, he saw the truth in his brothers’ eyes. It had always been the Johnsons against the world. And when the dust settled here, it would still be that way.
“Do you see anyone else who can?”
A
llie didn’t have an answer for that. Neither did he. Turning on his heel, he pushed past Jace, ignoring it when Caleb called his name. He had a mate to betray and forever in which to grieve her loss. What the hell could anyone say?
12
SLADE stood by the bed, watching as Jane slept. She lay on her back, the white sheets pushed down around her waist, one arm thrown above her head as if warding off what she couldn’t see. Him. In her head, poised to take what she wouldn’t give. What they needed. Just a little rape of her mind. That’s all that was required. For the common good. So why was he quibbling?
Her eyes opened and met his. There was no censure in her gaze. No hate. “Because you’re a decent man.”
The hell he was. “No, that’s not it.”
Pushing herself up on her elbows, she shook her head. No matter how he tried, he couldn’t skim her emotions off the energy around her. All he got was a sense of calm. “No? Then what would you say?”
“I’m thinking, sweetness, that you have undiscovered talents that keep getting in my way.”
“Like what?”
“Like blocking my thoughts, reading my mind, and slipping out from under my orders.”
She rolled her eyes. “Orders. Is that what we’re calling drugging people these days?”
“I didn’t drug you.”
“Whether you used your mind or a pill, the results are the same.”
“Yet you call me decent.”
She rubbed her forehead and glanced at the fading rash on her arm. “Yes.”
Just yes. Nothing more. He felt the need to explain. “You were in pain.”
“I was then.” She looked at him pointedly. “What’s your excuse for now?”
He hadn’t yet lifted the enthrallment, and she knew it when she shouldn’t. Interesting.
“An oversight.”
He lifted the enthrallment. She sent him a dirty look. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure.”
He might have lifted the enthrallment, but he hadn’t left her mind. He loved her mind. It worked with methodical precision on problems, evading emotion to maintain the focus. Yet somehow it never lost track of the impact of emotion. Like now. She was scared by what she’d caught of his thoughts. Of what had happened when he’d taken her blood, how he’d handled it, but she wasn’t letting the emotions rule. She was sorting through the reality, looking for patterns, looking for how he’d accomplished it. Looking for control.
He wished he could summon the same cool detachment. Inside him, emotion ruled, pushing out logic and the why, leaving only the image of what could be with this woman if he’d committed to her in another time and another place. Say two hundred and fifty years ago when life had been less complicated. When he’d only longed for the mental freedom he had now. When he could only dream of the ability to experiment and create. Before he’d had eternity to long and regret. Weariness crept over him, sneaking up on his blind side. Sliding his thumb along Jane’s cheekbone, he let his energy blend with hers, not controlling, not dominating just ... blending.
Above his thumb her eyes widened, the pupils broadening as his mind went deeper into hers, flowing with her energy past the light, absorbing it, delving into the darkness of his soul. Finding the darkness in hers, the pain that didn’t end, the silent scream that no one ever heard.
“Jane ...”
The whisper wrapped around the scream, binding them together; he pulled it into himself, taking the pain, wincing as he bore the weight of what she buried so deeply inside her. Images rushed his mind. A man’s face, handsome but for the red-rimmed eyes and beard. Perfect teeth bared in a smile that hurt. He could feel Jane’s hurt. Betrayal. The stench of alcohol hit him in the face. A hand approached. A child’s scream. So endless. So desperate. Trapped. She was trapped. Fear clawed at him. Hers. His. Theirs.
“Jane.”
“No.”
She didn’t want him to know. She didn’t want him to see, but it was too late. She didn’t have the strength to block him from this. He wouldn’t let her bear this alone.
Her mind pushed at his. “Back off.”
“I won’t let him hurt you anymore.”
I’ve got it under control.
You don’t. I can feel it. I
She shook her head. An internal tug signaled her withdrawal. He growled low in his throat. She caught his wrist in her hand, anchoring him to her even as she tried to push him away. Shame. So much shame. “I’m not who you think I am.”
“The hell you’re not.”
He tightened his grip, shifting his thumb to her mouth. The moistness of her breath was yet another bonding. Her eyes narrowed. Anger flared outward, tracing back along his energy, blazing through her eyes. Old anger. The kind of anger Jared had carried for so many years. The kind that threatened to eat a body alive.
Her chin came up. “You don’t know anything.”
Fear blended with her energy. Foolish woman to think he didn’t know. More foolish still to think it would ever matter. “I know you’re mine.”
“I’m not something you can take.”
“Watch me.”
That chin came up. “No, you watch me. I won’t be controlled.”
He caught that stubborn chin on the side of his hand. “And I won’t be denied.”
She sat up straighter. “You give me hives.”
“So I do.” But only if he claimed her. He smoothed his thumb over her lips, studying the rush of emotions over her face even as he siphoned them off. He couldn’t give her much, but he wanted to give her peace. As the anxiety in her settled, he found a bit of his own calm. “You’ll have to make a cure.”
“There’s no cure for you.”
Such a sad statement made in such a sad voice. He wanted nothing more than to deny it. But he couldn’t. Even if nothing would come of it. Shit. She was right. It wasn’t fair. He wanted what his brothers had. A mate at his side. A woman to spoil. To protect. To laugh with. Fight with. To make up with.
Slade kicked off his boots. They hit the floor, first the right and then the left. Two soft thuds that shouldn’t have startled anyone but made Jane jump. This time when her gaze met his, the anger was gone to be replaced by ... something else. Something that drew him.
Eyeing the boots and then him, she whispered, “We can’t.”
Sliding onto the bed, he propped himself over her. Her gasp was as soft as her skin. As enticing. He wanted to hear it again, this time roughened by passion. “Who says?” he whispered back.
“You did. Many times.”
The curve of her cheek drew his touch. “I was a fool.”
“You’re never a fool.” Reaching up, she caught his hand. “What’s wrong?”
Her body was flush against his. Soft and sweet, her curves fit perfectly to his planes. For now there was no Sanctuary threat, no conversion danger. No loss. For now there was illusion. “Not a goddamned thing.”
“You’re lying.”
Turning his head, he kissed the center of her palm. “And you’re hiding.”
“Is this where I’m supposed to say I’ll stop when you do?”
“No, this is where you say you don’t give a shit.”
She blinked. “I don’t.” She sounded surprised. “Is that because you’re influencing me?”
“Maybe.”
Her grip slackened. “Why?”
“Because I’m tired.”
Her gaze searched his. “Of what?”
Of hoping, of fighting, of time without end. Pressing lightly, he parted her lips, getting a glimpse of how it would be to have his mouth on hers, to take her breath as his. To eliminate the physical barriers as well as the mental ones. “Of waiting for my something good.”
“Something good?”
He nodded, eyeing the free expanse on the big king bed. There was more than enough room for him there. With her. “When my brothers and I were younger and times were hard, we’d start fantasizing about good things, like a pot of stew that never emptied, or a blanket t
hat kept you warm on the coldest night. It soon evolved into a game where we’d list our something good for that week. And whoever found theirs had to buy the others a round.”
“I bet you were good at it.”
He shook his head. “I got drunk a lot.”
“You were that bad at getting what you wanted?”
“Nah, I was just that bad at wishing.”
Her gaze softened slightly. “What did you wish for?”
“A simple thing.” A woman to love him as he was, with all his strange ways of thinking and his love of tinkering.
Her fingers trembled against his pulse. “And what was that?”
“It’s not important.”
“Slade ...”
He loved how she said his name, soft with a husky undertone that caressed his senses with the delicacy of a touch. “What?”
“Back in your day, how often did you do without?”
“Not that much. We grew up fast.”
She licked her lips. Her hand dropped to his shoulder. “I was asking about you.”
Pulling her into his arms, he wrapped a mental wall around the lingering shame she harbored, burying it beneath all the light he could furnish from his own dark soul. “I know, but there are better things to talk about.”
“Like what?”
“Like how much I’d like to kiss you right now.”
Her lips plumped. Her scent spiced. His cock throbbed. And his soul yearned.
“We have test results to study.” She sighed.
He eased his chest to hers. “I’m too tired.”
Of many things beyond the pressure the afternoon put on his alertness, Jane was beginning to suspect. She tried to imagine what it would be like to face forever. To outlive all you knew. To say good-bye over and over. To not love because the pain would be too much to bear when they aged and died. To want but never have. To have everything but nothing at all.
“Did you at least store the samples?”
He sighed and rubbed his thumb over her lips. “Of course. I even started a few of the longer tests.”
“Good.”
“Which means, we’ve got time to kill.”
“So you took care of everything?”
“Yup.”
Twisting against him, moving with him when he took a harsh breath, Jane smiled. She did like how Slade responded to her. “You do know how to turn a woman on.”
Slade Page 17
