He caught her hand. “Because everything inside me says to not give you a choice. To take what I want and to hell with the consequences.”
An honorable man. In any place and time, deserving of respect. Her man. Jane slipped her hands free and started on the next button.
“So you intend to have a platonic relationship with me for the next twenty to thirty years?”
“Hell no.”
She smiled to herself. “Then what are you offering?”
“Whatever we can manage without going too far.”
Two more buttons fell to the wayside. “And what happens if we go too far?”
“You won’t go alone.”
She slipped her hands inside his shirt, savoring the contrast of his hair-roughened skin against her smooth palms. There was a time when she would have found his statement unbelievable, but she’d sat at Slade’s side when he’d faced death. Felt the unimaginable pain of her soul being ripped apart. “I do believe that’s the most heart-wrenching thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“It’s the truth.”
She went back to unbuttoning his shirt. His stomach sucked in as her knuckles grazed his abdomen.
“I know, but I don’t want you to die for me, Slade.”
“What are you doing, Jane?”
“Unbuttoning your shirt.”
“Why?”
She looked up. “Allie suggested it as a way to improve your mood.”
The smallest of smiles touched his lips. “I think it’s her shirt she unbuttons when Caleb starts yelling.”
Spreading his shirt open, Jane ran her finger down the center of his pecs. Muscle jumped under her fingertips. She shivered remembering how he felt against her when he came over her. Closing her eyes, she projected the sensation to Slade. His response was a mental growl. She liked it when he growled. All their hottest moments started with a growl. “But I like your chest much better.”
Leaning forward, she touched his right pectoral with her tongue. He tasted so good. Another growl rumbled in his chest. She smiled.
His grip tightened on her nape, pulling her up. With a slash of his nail, he cut her shirt open. “Come here.”
She went, meeting him halfway, opening her mouth to his, her mind to his, letting his passion roll over her, feeling his delight beneath. He liked that she initiated this. He liked the feel of her skin, the touch of her tongue. He liked her.
She blinked and pulled back. “You really do like me.”
Frowning down at her, he let her take a step back. “What the hell made you think I didn’t?”
“I’m a stuffy scientist, and you’re ...” With a wave of her hand she indicated his washboard abdomen, his broad shoulders. His handsome chiseled face, the raw sexuality he exuded so effortlessly. “Good grief, look in the mirror.” Could vampires see their reflection? “If you can that is.”
“I’d rather just get my impressions from you. You make me sound downright irresistible.”
“You are.”
And it scared her. She was always in control, but with Slade there was no control. She had to trust him, and honorable man or not, she found trust hard.
His thumb smoothed the moisture from her lips. The heat in his eyes kept her blood simmering. “Why?”
She didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “You were in my mind. You know why.”
“The man in your past.”
“Yes.”
“Tell me about him.”
She didn’t want him anywhere near this relationship.
“You already know.”
“I know what I saw.”
“Then that’s enough.”
“No, it’s not.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“We have to.”
She stepped back, pulling her shirt around her, feeling exposed where before she’d been comfortable. “No.”
He looked around. Following his gaze, she noticed faint movement in the distance. The guards and other members of the compound. Her night vision wasn’t as good as his, but it was definitely better than she’d had a week ago.
“But maybe not here.”
“Not anywhere.”
“But we can talk about my being a vampire?” he asked.
“It’s not the same thing.”
“They’re both standing between us.”
“That’s not true. I’ve never wanted what happened to come between us.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s not between us. It’s there in your mistrust, in your holding back, in your fear of commitment.”
“I’ve never—”
Slade’s expression hardened. His energy snapped out. “I know what he did to you, Jane. I know whatyou planned to do to him. What I don’t know is how to get you to see me without the taint of him.”
She’d had no idea he’d felt that hesitation in her, but she should have. She took another step back. His fingers slid down her arm. He caught her hand and stopped her retreat. She shook her head. “I didn’t come here to talk about this.”
“What did you come to talk about?”
“Forever.”
Energy leapt from his hand to hers. She absorbed it, feeling his excitement, his panic, and ultimately his denial.
“No.”
This time it was she who halted his retreat. “I’ve decided I’m interested in forever.”
“I can’t give it to you.”
Panic flared inside, immediately soothed by the touch of Slade’s energy.
Broderick walked by. He gave a curt nod in response to her hello. It was as close to a snub that a pack member could give another without coming to blows. She watched him walk away. “He’s not very pleased with me.”
“His pride’s hurt. It’s hard for a young wolf to accept any loss, but to a woman ...” He shook his head “Well, it’s probably safe to say he’ll never live it down that a woman took mental control of him.”
A woman? Sheesh. Her sympathy faded. “Holding on to chauvinistic views will do that to you.”
Slade chuckled.
She licked her lips. The conversation was now back on the subject she wanted to broach. The one she was afraid to broach. What if Slade didn’t really want forever? What if he just felt safe offering it because he thought it could never happen.
“I’m not that complicated, Jane.”
“Damn it, stop reading my mind!”
“Then stop refusing to talk to me about the elephant in the room.”
He wanted to talk about her stepfather Jerry. The man who’d made her childhood hell. “Maybe I don’t want to talk about the elephant because it’s ugly and I don’t want it in our house!”
“Shit, Slade,” Jared commented as he came up the path from the main house, rifle barrel resting on his shoulder. “Even I know you don’t give a woman an elephant and expect a smile.”
“Son of a bitch. Go shoot something, Jared.”
Jared stopped. Dropping the rifle off his shoulder, he turned it sideways and held it out to Jane.
“You want to borrow this?” With a jerk of his chin he indicated Slade. “He’s healed enough; anything less than a head shot won’t kill him.”
“Yes.” She glared at Slade. “I mean no. But thank you.”
Slade put his arm around her shoulder and drew her away from the gun. “Don’t encourage him, Jane. He’s recently decided he has a sense of humor.”
All the Johnson brothers looked similar. The differences lay in their eyes and their personalities, and Jared came off as hard as granite. His cracking a joke was definitely out of character.
“Least I know not to try and tempt Raisa with a goddamned elephant. Allie’s right. We’ve got to get you out of that lab.”
“The hell you do.”
“Though this”—Jared tipped his black hat, indicating their closeness—“is a good start. Nothing like soft moonlight and a pretty woman to get a man’s mind off work.”
Slade shot Jane a suspicious look. “Did you give Allie that idea?”
> “Me? I’m in the lab as much as you.”
Jared’s chuckle drifted behind him. “We do occasionally figure things out for ourselves, you know.”
Slade groaned. “There goes the peace and quiet of my lab.”
“Would that be so bad?” Jane asked.
“It depends. Are you going to give me a reason to be elsewhere?”
“I’m trying, but you keep changing the subject.”
“It’s all the same subject, sweetness. Just different parts.”
She moved back into his arms. She didn’t even try to mask the satisfaction she felt at the connection. “I’d rather concentrate on this part.”
His hazel eyes searched for hers. Stubbornness settled into his expression. She added a mental plea to the mix.
“Unfair, Jane.”
“I don’t care. I’ve spent twenty years making that part of my life not matter, and now you want to bring it into the one good thing I’ve got.” She slapped his chest. “Yes, I’m going to fight you. I’m going to fight you with everything I have.” She wanted to hit him again, harder. Hard enough to make him understand. “I have to, Slade.”
“Shit.” He caught her hand and brought it to his lips. The kiss was soft, gentle. Understanding.
“You’ll let it go?”
“For now. But you should know I hit the send button on that sweet little revenge you had set up.”
She tried to step back. “How could you?”
“It was either that or hunt him down and shred him to pieces.”
“That was my revenge to take!”
“No, that was your test to fail.”
She blinked. Her muscles were nothing against his as he pulled her against his chest. “Did you think I didn’t unerstand?” He shook his head. “You wanted to prove you were better than him. You did.”
“But you had to push the button.”
“Yes. You can hate me for it if you want, but that son of a bitch wasn’t getting off free and clear. And this way it’s done.”
A period on a part of her life she’d tried to forget. She didn’t know how she felt about that. “Why are you telling me now?”
His thumb stroked down her cheek. “I told you. I don’t want anything about that bastard coming between us.”
Even the revenge he’d taken in her name, freeing her from the morass of guilt and hate and fear that had immobilized her every time she’d tried.
Cupping his cheek in her hand, she smiled shakily. “Thank you.”
“Do I get a reward?”
Sliding her hands up his chest, she dropped her restraint. “Maybe you should take me back to your house and collect.”
“Maybe I should just collect here.”
The thought sent a thrill through her veins, quickly followed by horror.
Slade laughed. “Not as adventurous as you thought.”
“No.”
With a laugh, he scooped her up into his arms. “Good, because the only one I want seeing my woman going wild is me.”
She linked her hands behind his neck. Resting her cheek on his chest, she relaxed, enjoying the sensation of being taken care of. “Woman, not mate. Are you trying to tell me something?”
“I was human once.”
The biggest part of him still was. His boots thudded on the porch steps. Her smile spread. Each boot step meant they were closer to their bed. To their future. “And this is important why?”
He stopped at the door. Reaching down she opened it.
“If you can’t be vampire, then I’ll meet you halfway.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It occurred to me that if the application of your research were moderated, a vampire could cheat immortality. Gradually. Over time.”
She grabbed the doorjamb with both hands. “Hold on.”
“What?”
“You’re talking about killing yourself.”
With a flex of muscle, he popped her grip free. “I’m talking about aging gracefully with the anticipated result at the end. The same as you.”
“Killing yourself,” she repeated. “Dear God, do you think I’d ask that of you?”
“No.” He let her slide down his body. “That’s why I took the decision out of your hands.”
“Good God.” She rubbed her hand over her forehead. “You do know how to kill the mood.”
“I thought I was setting it.”
“I’m beginning to wish I’d never started that research.”
“But you did, and we can use it.”
She took another step back. “No, we can’t.”
“Jane?”
She sat on the couch. The ramifications of the formula running through her head. And no matter what scenario she ran, the answer was always the same. Disaster.
Slade stood over her. “What is it?”
“You have to understand, when I made that formula, I had no idea vampires or werewolves existed. I certainly didn’t know there was some supernatural war going on. I mean seriously, who knew anything like that existed outside of the movies?”
He knelt in front of her. “Jane.”
She shook her head. “Don’t say anything yet. Just hold me.”
He pulled her into his arms. “All right.”
She rested her head against his shoulder and breathed his scent, taking her strength from his. “One thing is for sure, Vamp Man. You sure know how to shake up a woman’s world.”
His big hand cupped her cheek. She loved when he did that. The touch of his hand curving around her face, the touch of his energy curving around her heart, it just completed some invisible circle she’d never known lacked closure. It gave her courage.
“I want you to make love to me, Slade.”
“After you tell me what’s wrong.”
“No. Before.”
“Why?”
She took his hat off his head and tossed it on the coffee table. “I’ll tell you after.”
“What makes you think I can perform under such duress?”
She tugged her shirt over her head and unhooked her bra. “I plan on providing incentive.”
He shrugged out of his shirt. “That’s some incentive.”
She dropped her bra to the floor. “I’ve always thought rewards should be worth the sacrifice.”
He came over her, using his weight to press her back into the couch cushions. She went down without a protest. Wiggling into a better position, she drew her leg up so his cock rested against her pussy. Even through two layers of clothing, the impact was stunning. She closed her eyes as every fiber in her being whispered, “Yes.”
“Make that hell yes.”
She opened her eyes to find Slade smiling down at her, his expression one of love and passion. “Hell yes.”
He chuckled. And reached down. Harsh rips preceded the removal of her jeans. Tiny nips preceded his path down her body. A growl of satisfaction punctuated his arrival at his destination. He was going to kiss her there. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything but wait for that first touch of his tongue. And he made her wait, keeping her suspended on the high wire of anticipation, caressing her with his breath, his mind, smiling as the tension in her coiled tighter. Anticipation turned to tingles. Tingles turned to lust. Lust to demand. She grabbed his hair.
“Slade.”
“Just savoring the moment.”
“I’d rather you savor me.”
“Duly noted.”
It wasn’t the first time a man had loved her with his mouth. She’d had her wild years and her misguided years, and for the last few years, her cautious years, but this was the first time a man had truly made love to her. With every touch of his lips, every luxurious pass of his tongue, Slade told her he loved her. Sweetly. Passionately. Tenderly. Drawing out every sensation until she wanted to scream with the pleasure. She started crying instead.
“Jane?”
She shook her head, wiping at her tears.
Slade kissed his way up her torso, wiping the
tears from her cheek. “What’s wrong?”
It just made her cry harder that he hadn’t probed her mind for the answer.
Turning them so she lay across his chest, he cupped her head in his hands, wiping her tears with his thumbs while his beautiful eyes studied every nuance of her expression.
“You love me.”
“I thought that was understood.”
She shook her head. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because you would have run.”
She sniffed. “You make me sound so messed up.”
“You’ve been hurt.”
“So were you when you were younger.”
“I’ve never been betrayed. It makes a difference.”
“Damn it. Why do you have to be so honorable?”
“Excuse me?”
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she buried her face in his throat. His scent immediately surrounded her. Hot, male, with that light addictive undertone that was uniquely his. “I was going to trick you into converting me.”
“Why?”
He didn’t sound surprised. “If you tell me you knew all along, I’m going to stop feeling guilty.”
His fingers threaded through her hair. “I knew all along.”
“Damn it. You won’t even let me feel guilt.”
He pulled her head back, studying her face before shaking his head and kissing her softly. “We agreed however this goes, it goes our way. No guilt. No manipulation.”
“Then you need to convert me.”
“You don’t want that.”
“Well, I don’t want you poisoning yourself.”
“Then we’ll work out something else.”
The blood tests were her safety net. By not telling him, she could buy time just in case things with Slade didn’t work out. All she had to do was keep her mouth shut. For once, hedging her bet wasn’t appealing. “Something else might already be in the works.”
His smile grew broader, took on a certain knowing air. There could be only one reason. Pushing up, she glared at him. “Oh my God, you checked my tests.”
“I already told you, everything about you is my concern.”
“Then you already know that somehow, someway, I’m already on my way to being vampire and that conversion isn’t going to kill me.”
“Yes.”
Another thought hit her. “But you offered to grow old with me anyway.”
“Just because I accidentally started you down a road you didn’t want to go, doesn’t mean you should be forced to continue.”
Slade Page 27
