by Nique Luarks
I looked back to Granny’s hard stare.
“What she said.”
10
We need love to relieve pain
Chance
Rel looked dapper in his navy-blue tailored suit. And even though I was boycotting Gucci, the loafers on his feet set the look off. His signature Caesar cut was lined to perfection and he smelled like Creed Aventus. I only knew the fragrance because I’d bought True some for Valentine’s Day.
“Welcome to Chaz. My name is Eliza.”
“Table for Davis.” Rel gripped my hand tighter.
Smiling, the hostess reached down and came back up with two menus. “This way please.” She then led the way through the partially-filled restaurant.
Rel’s hand rested on the small of my back as he followed me closely. Once we got to the table, he pulled my chair back. I took a seat and Rel made sure I was comfortable before pushing me towards the table.
“Your waiter will be with you momentarily.” Eliza placed our menus in front of us. “Enjoy your meal.”
“Thank you.” Smiling, I nodded my appreciation.
Rel took his seat across from me. A burgundy linen table cloth was draped neatly on top of the square table. Two tall, white candles, our wrapped silverware, and champagne flutes were the table tops fancy decorations. Soft music played in the background. The entire atmosphere was romantic.
“How was your weekend?” Rel picked up his menu.
“It was great. Yours?” Okay, I had lied. But I was not about to tell Rel about my nonstop crying. It had gotten to a point where Morgan had to stay with me two nights in a row. Not talking to True was turning out to be the hardest thing I’d ever done. And this was coming from someone who struggled all through college.
“Mine was okay.” Rel shrugged. “I had a few business partners to meet in Vegas. Other than that, I’ve been trying to get some of your time.”
“Hello. My name is Josh and I’ll be your waiter today. Can I start you off with wine, champagne, or cocktail?” Josh placed two glasses of water on the table.
“Yes. Can we get a bottle of Dom Perignon please? We should be ready to order by the time you return.”
Smiling, Josh nodded before taking off.
“So, when will the new shop be open for business?”
I took a dainty sip of my water. “I’m shooting for the beginning of the summer. The contractor says they’re making great timing.”
“Yeah, I remember you telling me you had to fire the other crew.” He drank from his glass.
I nodded. “He’s an old friend of True’s.”
Rel cleared his throat. “And True is the dude I met the other night?”
“Yeah, that’s him.”
After standing up, Rel removed his jacket. “Is he an ex?”
“An ex what?” I watched him drape the jacket on the back of the chair.
“Boyfriend. I saw how he looked when you introduced me to him. Actually, all of the men there that night weren’t feeling my presence.” He chuckled.
“True and I are just friends. And everyone you met is like family. They’re just a little overprotective.”
“I understand. My sisters are the same way.”
“You have sisters?” I grabbed my menu. “I didn’t know.”
“Yep. Two are older than me and one is younger.”
“Lucky you.” I giggled when he made a yeah-right face.
“Man, lucky is not the word. Try poor me.”
I laughed perusing through the entrée options. “I know how you feel. I have nine brothers. Blood brothers, not the ones you met.”
Rel whistled. “Whoa. Same mom and dad?”
I shook my head no. “Let’s just say my dad put my mom through a lot.”
“Mmm…” He nodded. “How many do you want?”
“Kids?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I have two god babies, so all I need is one. It’ll have a big brother and sister, so I’m good with that.”
Josh approached the table with a champagne bottle sitting in a sterling silver ice pail. After he poured our drinks, we placed our orders.
“What about you?” I picked up my champagne flute. “How many kids do you want?”
“Three boys.” He smiled.
“Why three?”
“I want one to be a doctor, one to be a lawyer, and the youngest to be an accountant.”
“Like you?” I sipped from my flute.
“Yeah. And I’m going to raise them the same way my father raised me and my older brothers.”
“I’ll probably be like my mother. Soft.” My mommy didn’t believe in stern parenting. So, there were no whippings and punishments when I was growing up. The most she ever did was raise her voice.
“So, are you looking for something serious? I know you’re still focused on your career.” Ren’s tongue swiped quickly across his bottom lip as he eyed me.
“To be honest, I’m not sure what I want right now.” My thoughts immediately went to True. In all honestly, since I couldn’t have him, I didn’t want anyone.
“I can respect that.” Rel reached forward and held his palms open.
Putting my flute down, I then placed my hands inside his.
He rubbed the back of my hands gently. “I’m really diggin’ you, Chance. You’re beautiful, driven, funny, and intelligent.”
I’m sure my cheeks turned red from his compliment. “Thank you, Rel.”
His eyes roamed me slowly. “You’re attractive and you carry yourself like a lady. I won’t rush you into anything you’re not ready for. I’m willing to take it slow.”
“So, how was the date?” When I entered my room, Morgan was lying across the foot of my bed on her back. “Did you suck him off while he was driving like I told you to?” she asked, staring at the ceiling.
I frowned, kicking my shoes off. “Really, Morg?” Some of the things Morgan let slip from her mouth were unbelievable. What in her right mind would make her think I’d do something like that?
She laughed and then faced me. “You look so pretty.”
“Thank you. And the date was nice. Rel is the perfect gentleman.” I smiled, unzipping my dress.
“He’s cute too with his bow-legged ass.” She sat up and crossed her legs.
I giggled. “What are you doing here?”
“Couldn’t sleep.” She sighed. “I dropped Saint off with Ms. Lenora earlier. Silas saw me and has been calling me all day.”
“He’s still trying to get you to hear him out?” I asked from inside of my en suite bathroom.
“You know it. I’ma get a restraining order on his ass.”
I started my shower water.
“He better go be with one of his other baby mamas. I want a divorce.”
Sighing sadly, I adjusted the temperature of the water. Morgan was doing an excellent job of hiding her feelings. This nonchalant attitude was nothing but a facade. She’d dedicated a lot of her youth to Silas. They hadn’t even been married a full year yet.
“It was all for nothing.” I heard her say and my shoulders dropped. “Every tear, fight, laugh, and conversation was for nothing.”
“Don’t say that.” I grabbed my robe off the hook and slipped it on. “Everything you went through made you who you are today.” Leaning against the doorjamb, I crossed my arms. “I personally love the woman you’ve become.”
She shrugged. “I guess you’re right.”
“When have I ever been wrong?” I smiled when she rolled her eyes at me.
Morgan hopped off my bed and headed for the door. “I wanna watch “How Stella Got Her Groove Back.”
It wasn’t until then that I noticed the Winnie the Pooh onesie she was wearing. My eyes then rolled back to my bed where she’d laid my Piglet onesie out. I chuckled before turning back around.
“Hurry up, Chance!”
“Okay, Morgan!”
True
Love: Why aren’t you answering the phone? It’s Chase.
&nbs
p; I jumped up from my position on the couch after reading the text from my sister. Snatching my keys off the end table, I called Love. She’d texted me at six, it was almost eight. My call log was full of missed calls from her and a few other people. When she didn’t answer, I called Granny Ann.
“True.”
“Granny, where’s Chase at?”
“You need to get to Children’s Mercy South. Chase and Jaliyah got into a car accident.”
I gripped the door knob and squeezed. “Let me talk to Chase.”
“True, honey, he’s in surgery. His lungs were punctured. They’re trying to—"
After hanging up the phone, I rushed out of my house and to my whip.
“Where’s my son?” When I entered the waiting room, Granny Ann was the first person I saw. “Where’s Chase at?”
“He’s still in surgery, baby. The doctor said she should be out with an update sooner than later.”
“Sooner than…" I bit down on my bottom lip and went to the nurses’ station.
“True...”
“Chase Jones.” I stared at the chick behind the counter. “I’m his father. I need to talk to a doctor.” When Granny Ann touched my arm, I shrugged her off. “Go get somebody.”
“Chase is in surgery.” She tried to look sympathetic. “Dr. Howard will—"
“Fuck that!” She jumped. The fear in her eyes let me know she knew not to fuck with me. “Go get a fuckin’ doctor!”
“True, calm down.” Granny Ann’s request fell on deaf ears.
“Go get a doctor.” Ole girl hopped up from her chair and took off.
“Honey, I get that you’re upset, but yelling and carrying on won’t help.”
I wasn’t trying to hear that shit. I needed to know what was going on with my seed.
“True, I’ve been calling you.” Hearing Love’s soft voice made me spin around. Her dark brown eyes were watery and blood shot red. “Where have you been?”
“I was sleep. What happened?” I glanced around the waiting room. Jaliyah’s sister, Solána, got up from her seat.
“Somebody ran a stop light. They hit Chase’s side. Jaliyah has a concussion. She’s at Menorah.”
Most would consider me a hard nigga. They’d probably describe me entirely with one word. Emotionless. But this shit with my son was breaking me down. Not being able to be there for him was destroying me mentally.
If he needed lungs, he could have mine. They wouldn’t be useful if something tragic happened to him anyway. Chase and Chasity were the only things worth living for anyways. What did I need to breathe for if they weren’t here?
“This is Chance right here.” Love stepped away. “Hello?”
“True, he’s going to be okay.” Granny rubbed my arms. “He’s in God’s hands.”
I closed my eyes. A nigga wasn’t trying to hear all that church bullshit. The only thing I wanted was to get to my son. Thinking about him lying on a cold table while doctors cut and poked at him, had my heart about to burst out of my chest. If my son didn’t come out on the other side, I would... Man...
“Hi, I’m Dr. Flores.” I opened my eyes and looked down. A black chick with long, curly hair extended her small hand. “Nurse Turner said you needed to speak to someone?”
“Yeah, my son is here.”
She nodded. “Yes. Chase Jones. He’s in surgery right now. One of his lungs was punctured. The impact broke his right arm and leg and bruised him significantly. Dr. Howard is one of the best at what she’s does, so he’s in great hands. She’ll take excellent care of him.” She smiled. “I understand you’re upset, but I think the best thing right now is to just take a breather.”
“Chance is on her way,” Love said with her phone to her ear. “She said she has to stop and get gas, but it shouldn’t take her long.”
“Nah, tell her she can stay where she at.”
Love frowned.
Dr. Flores continued smiling. “Is there anything else I can help you with?” She looked me up and down, and then smirked.
“If I don’t hear anything in ten minutes, I’ll let you know.”
“Like I said, I understand.” She tapped my arm and then spun around. A nurse approached her in a hurry as she walked away. Dr. Flores gave off a few orders before she disappeared.
“True why can’t Chance come?”
My eyes rolled back to Love. “’Cause she ain’t fuckin’ wit’ me.” I coolly took a seat in a vacant chair.
“Now, True.” Granny tried to harden her tone, but I wasn’t fazed.
Love shook her head. “Are you serious?”
I stared at her and she sighed.
“Chance? Yeah. True said don’t come.”
Love paused and then looked at me. “She wants to know why.”
“I just told you why.”
“You trippin’.” Love walked away from me. “Chance I’ll keep you updated. True is on one.”
“That wasn’t right, True.” Granny took a seat next to me. “Chance loves Chase too. Just because you’re mad at her doesn’t mean you take it out on Chase. He needs all the love and support he can get right now.”
“Granny, no disrespect, but I ain’t tryna hear that.”
I stared at the TV on the wall. Chance wanted distance between us so I was giving her that.
11
You see right through me
Chance
When Love told me True didn’t want me at the hospital, I headed there anyway. I wasn’t going to let his childish behavior stop me from seeing about my god son. I rushed down the hallway, talking to God, begging Him to let Chase be okay. When I rounded the corner to the sitting room, Love was talking to Jaliyah’s sister and True was sitting in a chair with his head down. Granny Ann stood from her seat and approached me with open arms.
“Chance, honey, I’m glad you came.”
“Of course, I was coming.” I wrapped my arms around her and gave a slight squeeze. “Any updates?”
Pulling out of our hug, she shook her head no. “Nothing yet.”
“What you doin’ here?” True rose from his seat. The menacing look in his eyes made me swallow and take a step back. “I told you not to come.” He stalked towards me. His nostrils flared, and his mug deepened as he waited on me to answer.
“True...” I sighed. “Why are you mad at me?” When I told True we needed space, I didn’t think he’d treat me like this. Like I wasn’t his Jelly.
“If you don’t fuck wit’ me, then you don’t fuck wit’ my young life.” His hard stare stayed trained on me. “I don’t want you here.”
What?
My chest tightened, and I could have sworn I felt my heart crack down the middle.
“Take yo ass back up under that nigga.” True turned back around, dismissing me.
“True...” I followed him. “I understand you’re upset right now, but please don’t take your anger out on me. I love Chase. I just wanna be here for you and him.”
“And I just told you I don’t wanna be near you.” He took a seat and then slouched back nonchalantly. “So, beat it.”
“Excuse me?” I frowned in disbelief. “You’re asking me to leave after everything I’ve done for Chase? When you need me to babysit or be a personal driver, I’m good enough, right?” I inched closer to him with my index finger in my chest. “I’m only good enough whenever you choose I am.”
Even though he was sitting coolly, anger flashed in his dark eyes. He chuckled condescendingly, and then ran his hand across the top of his head. “If my kids are such a burden, you should’ve said that.”
“Bur—" I pierced my lips close. Closing my eyes, I counted back from six, my lucky number.
Chance, he’s hurting right now. His baby is in surgery. True doesn’t like feeling helpless.
I opened my eyes and stared down at him. “Chase and Chassy aren’t burdens. They never have been, and they never will be. I shouldn’t have thrown that in your face.”
He glared back at me unmoved.
“
True don’t leave me in the dark.” Tears blurred my vision. “I can’t go home and have a clear mind if I know Chase isn’t okay or if you need me to be here for you and I’m not.”
His eyes swept away from mine.
“I know you’re scared. I am too.”
True glanced across the waiting room and then shook his head. Resting his head back, he closed his eyes.
Sighing, I found a seat a few chairs away from him.
Chase’s surgery was successful. However, Dr. Howard had explain to us that his recovery journey might be long and trying, especially for somebody his age. She’d informed us his right arm and leg were broken, and the bruises on his face should heal exceptionally well. After True asked her a million questions, she escorted us to Chase’s room. When we entered, the sight of the tubes entering his body and the casts shattered my already cracked heart into a million pieces.
“Oh, my baby…” Granny Ann’s voiced broke as she rushed to his side. “My baby…” She caressed his head.
Love stood next to her, crying. “He looks like he’s in so much pain.” She sniffled.
I took a step forward and realized True hadn’t moved from the door. When I faced him, it looked like the color from his face had been drained. His misty eyes zoned in on Chase, but they looked empty. True’s eyebrows furrowed and with clenched jaws, he finally looked down at me. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I hugged him tight.
His breathing slowed and his heartbeat steadied.
“He’s strong like you.” I let him go. “Thank you for letting me stay.” Rubbing his arm, I headed to Chase’s bed side.
“True, you wanna come in so we can say a quick prayer?” Granny asked, gently caressing the purplish pink bruise on Chase’s cheek.
He stayed at the door. “I’m good from here.” His words came out hoarsely, making me look to him.
True had always done a great job at hiding his emotions. He’d usually shut down and become reclusive. Never one to deal with matters of the heart, he’d much rather turn off his feelings. True took pride in being a father. He didn’t know how to process seeing his baby in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of his little body.
