“How are Laura and James?”
“Excited. They finish school on Wednesday, so then it’ll be Christmas mayhem.”
“It’s lovely though isn’t it? The excitement of Christmas. I love seeing their faces when they open their presents.”
“And next year there will be another one to enjoy the fun.”
“I’m excited about that.”
“Camilla…”
“Yes.”
“When were you going to tell me about Mum and Dad?”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh come on… it’s obvious.”
“I was waiting until it was more… permanent. I didn’t know if they were just getting to know each other again and if it would all go wrong. It still could do and I was afraid that you’d get hurt all over again.”
Dawn nodded. “I can see why but I am all grown up now, Camilla.”
“I know that.”
“I’m grateful to you for the way you still look out for me but I can take the truth and it’s better for me to know about things like this. Otherwise I might… you know… accidentally FaceTime Mum when she’s… well, you know.”
“You didn’t!” Camilla covered her eyes for a moment.
“I did and she must have forgotten that I could see her. I guess she was caught up in the passion of the moment and she answered when she was naked.”
“With Dad?”
Dawn nodded. “It wasn’t a pretty sight, let me tell you.”
“I caught them at it too.”
“See! If you’d told me then I would have been prepared but as it was, I had to quickly cover the screen of my phone and tell her to get dressed.”
“I’m sorry.”
Dawn took Camilla’s hand. “It’s okay. At least it’s out in the open now.”
“And how do you feel about it?”
“I’m happy for them. I was a bit surprised. I mean, after all those years of Mum calling him every name under the sun, I didn’t expect her to jump into bed with him again. But she’s an adult woman and she knows what she wants… or at least her body does.”
“I guess so.”
“Let’s just hope it works out for them.”
“Or we’ll be picking up the pieces.”
“Exactly. And to be honest with you, much as I love Mum, I’m not going to have the time with two kids and a baby. It’s not fair that you should have to spend all your time taking care of her either.”
“Well let’s see what happens. Who knows… perhaps there’ll be a wedding and we’ll be able to let them live happily ever after.”
Dawn laughed. “Oh I hope so. It would be nice wouldn’t it? To have parents who’re together. I have missed Dad, even though he was a total bastard for leaving us.”
“I don’t think it was quite as clean cut as we thought, Dawnie.”
“No?”
Camilla shook her head. “More to it. Some of it Mum’s fault.”
“Well that’s to be expected really, isn’t it? It takes two to make a relationship and two to break it. At least, that’s what I want to believe. Otherwise it’s a bit hard not to still feel mad at him isn’t it?”
“It wasn’t all his fault. Hopefully, in time, he’ll speak to you about it too. He didn’t say anything negative about Mum but I know that the blame can’t be placed entirely on him.”
“Here we go, ladies. Gingerbread hot chocolates and Christmas cake.”
“You’ve cut your cake early for us?” Camilla asked.
“Not my own one, no. I made a load for the baskets and there are a few left over, so I thought we could enjoy some now.”
Camilla handed Dawn a china plate with a slice of shiny brown cake on it, then she took a plate for herself. She sniffed the slice of cake and aromas of cinnamon, orange, mixed fruit and marzipan made her mouth water. The cake was packed with sultanas, raisins, dates and cherries. The top and side had a thin layer of yellow marzipan and a slightly thicker one of crisp bright white icing. As she bit into the cake, her mouth was filled with festive cheer.
“Delicious, Allie,” she said once she’d eaten it.
“Thank you. It’s the same old recipe I use every year.”
“It’s so good. Never change it.” Dawn licked her lips. “The heartburn will be worth it.”
“Oh no! Do you want some milk?” Allie asked.
“It’s fine. I’ll have my hot chocolate then see how it goes. I have antacids in my bag anyway. I carry them everywhere.”
“How are things going with Tom?” Allie asked before taking a sip of her hot chocolate.
Camilla shrugged. “He’s busy, I’m busy, so… we’re just enjoying each other’s company when we can.”
“All right…” Allie nodded.
“I think she loves him.” Dawn bit her lip and giggled.
“Look, little sister, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean I’ll let you get away with comments like that.”
“Like what?” Dawn widened her eyes. “I’m hormonal. I’m allowed to be a bit… emotional about things.”
“Excuses, excuses.” Camilla wagged a finger at her sister.
“But you do love him, don’t you?”
“No I don’t. It’s far too early to be making such sweeping statements.”
“Is it?” Allie met her eyes.
“Well yes. We’ve only been out together a few times and I do like him but it’s nothing more.”
“No?” Allie smiled.
“No.”
“Where is he now?”
“He’s gone back to Brighton to see his parents before Christmas but he’ll be back early next week.”
“And how do you feel now that’s he’s away?”
Camilla stared into her mug. How did she feel?
“He only went yesterday.”
“And?” Dawn nudged her.
“I feel terrible. All achy and empty and I just wish I knew I’d be seeing him later.”
“See!” Dawn clapped her hands. “It’s love.”
“No it’s not. At least I don’t think it is. Oh god… how would I know?” Camilla looked at her sister then at her best friend. “How the hell do you know when it’s love?”
“You just do.” Allie nodded. “In here, in your heart. You’ll know if he’s the one you want.”
“But what if I let myself believe that then he doesn’t feel the same way?” Panic surged through Camilla at the thought. What if she did let herself love Tom and he didn’t reciprocate those feelings?
“That’s a chance we take on love but after seeing how he was gazing at you during the pub quiz, I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about.” Allie sighed. “In fact, he seemed so smitten that even Chris commented on it.”
“He did?” Heat warmed Camilla’s cheeks and a lovely glow spread through her.
“He did. When we got home, he told me that he thought Tom seemed well loved-up.”
Camilla covered her chest with her hands and took a few slow deep breaths. She felt dizzy, elated and confused and had a sense that she was falling, yet she knew she was sitting on the sofa in Allie’s café. But perhaps she wasn’t actually falling anywhere literal; perhaps she was falling in love.
“The physical effect of all of this is quite… alien to me.”
Allie and Dawn nodded.
“Am I going to be okay?”
“Of course you will.” Dawn patted her hand. “We’ve got you. And this is a good thing.”
“A very good thing,” Allie added.
“Oh look… I’ve finished my hot chocolate.” Dawn pouted as she stared into her empty mug.
“I’ll make us all another one, shall I? After all, Camilla’s falling in love, so she needs all the strength she can muster to deal with the emotions.”
Camilla nodded, wondering why her eyes had filled with tears and why she suddenly felt shaky. But as Dawn pulled her into a hug and she rested a hand on her sister’s curved belly, she realised that it would all be okay. She had h
er family and she had her friends and she had the added security of being able to enjoy the comfort of The Cosy Cottage Café.
The emotions swirling inside her were new but they were good. So she was going to enjoy them and embrace them, just as she would embrace Tom when she next saw him. And she couldn’t wait for that.
15
“Your turn!” Laura nudged Camilla as they sat at Jackie’s table that Sunday afternoon.
“Pardon?” Camilla shook herself as she realised she’d been staring into space.
“I said it’s your turn, Auntie Camilla.”
“So it is!”
Camilla shook the dice, rolled them, then counted the four spaces along the snakes and ladders board.
“Ha ha! Down the snake!” James clapped his hands. “You lose!” He held up his left hand making the shape of a backwards L.
“James, that’s the wrong hand.” Laura rolled her eyes at Camilla.
“And we told you not to do that didn’t we?” Dawn said as she walked into the room to find her son now holding up his right hand and making an L shape at Camilla.
“It’s only a bit of fun,” Camilla said as she winked at her nephew.
“You might think that but his teacher doesn’t. She rang Rick last week to say that James had done it to her when she couldn’t find her glasses.”
Camilla bit her bottom lip to stop herself from laughing. James was an adorable little boy but he definitely had a wicked side.
“Your turn then, James,” Laura said and James shook the dice then moved his small blue figure along the board.
“You want a cuppa?” Dawn asked Camilla.
“That would be lovely, thanks.”
“I win!” James shouted suddenly then jumped up and pulled his t-shirt over his head.
“James, be careful!” Dawn called as he bounced around the room then tripped over a chair leg and landed facedown on the floor.
“I’ve got him.” Camilla got up and hurried around the table. She gently pulled his t-shirt back down and peered at his face, afraid that he’d be in tears but instead he was grinning up at her. “Are you all right?”
“Yes thank you, Auntie Camilla. I won!”
She shook her head then helped him to his feet.
“Come on, Dawnie, I need that tea. Or perhaps something stronger.”
Dawn nodded and they went through to the kitchen.
Jackie was standing in front of the sink gazing out into the garden and Laurence was at her side, where he always seemed to be since his return to Heatherlea, and they were crooning along to Ella Fitzgerald’s version of Let it Snow. As Dawn and Camilla watched, Laurence moved behind his ex-wife and slid his arms around her waist then they rocked gently in time with the music.
Camilla turned to Dawn and they shook their heads at each other then Camilla went to the kettle and switched it on.
“Hello girls.” Jackie slipped out of Laurence’s embrace and patted her hair self-consciously.
“Hey Mum.” Dawn smiled. “Dad.”
“Where’s Rick gone?” Camilla asked. “I thought he was helping with the dishes.”
“He was but now he’s outside fixing that new bird feeder to the fence.” Jackie gestured at the window.
“I let him do it,” Laurence said. “Didn’t want to impose seeing as how he brought his drill over.”
“I could have done it, Dad.” Dawn said, resting her hands on her hips.
“What and shake that baby up?” Jackie shook her head. “Don’t be daft, Dawnie. Let your husband crack on with it. He’s done a fine job, anyway.”
The kettle clicked as it came to the boil and Camilla dropped teabags into the pot then poured water over them.
“I’ll just see how he’s getting along.” Dawn slipped out of the back door leaving Camilla alone with their parents.
As Frank Sinatra took over from Ella Fitzgerald, Laurence grabbed Jackie’s hand and started waltzing her around the kitchen. Camilla pressed herself against the worktop to keep out of their way. Jackie was soon laughing and breathless and Camilla had a lump in her throat. It was good to see her mother so happy, so relaxed and so… different.
As festive music filled the kitchen, the sounds of drilling came from outside. Her parents giggled like teenagers in front of her and Camilla started to laugh herself. It was wonderful to see the people she loved enjoying themselves, being close as a family and just doing what she classed as normal things on a Sunday. In the past, she’d always felt guilty leaving Jackie on a Sunday afternoon, wondering how her mother would fill the lonely hours until she went off to work early on a Monday morning, but now she didn’t need to worry. Her mother had someone. Her mother had her father.
It amazed Camilla how people could transform over such a short space of time, but Jackie really had done. She had fallen into a new pattern since Laurence’s return and here they were, moving in synch, anticipating each other’s dance moves as if it had always been this way. As if the twenty plus years they’d been apart had merely been a glitch in their relationship that sent them in different directions, but now they had found their way back to each other again. But perhaps that was human nature. Perhaps this was how people could repair, restore and progress. Perhaps love really was that powerful.
An urge flooded through Camilla, starting in her belly and spreading out to tingle in her fingertips and toes. She needed to speak to Tom and she needed to speak to him immediately. In fact, she knew she couldn’t wait a second longer!
She pulled her mobile out of her back pocket and went through the hall and into the lounge where she scanned her recent contacts until she found Tom’s name.
Then she pressed call and waited for him to answer.
Camilla dropped her mobile onto the carpet and stared at it as if it had burnt her fingers.
How could this be?
Her heart pounded and nausea climbed up her throat, threatening to choke her.
She’d been such a fool!
She left her mobile where it was and went into the hallway then pulled on her coat and boots with trembling hands.
“Camilla?” Her father stood in the kitchen doorway frowning. “Where are you going? I thought we were having tea?”
She stared at him, willing herself to stay strong, not to break down and sob on the stairs as she felt like doing.
“I need to go home.”
“But why? I thought we were having fun, angel.” He tucked his hands into his brown corduroy trouser pockets and tilted his head. “Hey… you don’t look at all well. Eat too much pudding did you?” He laughed. “Come on, have a cuppa with us and you’ll feel better.”
“No I won’t!”
Laurence pulled his hands from his pockets and raised them slightly as if to calm her.
“Something else has happened hasn’t it? But what? How?” He shook his head and looked around as if the answer was on the gold tinsel looped around the banister or the mistletoe pinned to the hallway mirror.
“It doesn’t matter.” Camilla tugged her hat down over her ears. “I’ll see you in the week.”
Her father stepped closer then glanced into the lounge.
“Is that your mobile on the floor? Let me get it for you, Camilla. At least take that with you.”
He went into the lounge and Camilla turned quickly and let herself out, pulling the front door shut behind her.
Then she ran and ran and ran until her heart felt as if it would burst from her chest and her cheeks were wet and cold.
When she opened her own front door, she locked it behind her and pressed her forehead to the smooth hard wood. She’d been so stupid to let herself get caught up in romantic fantasies. And look at what had happened. Now her heart was broken and Christmas would not be the joyous occasion she’d anticipated.
But she had no one to blame other than herself.
And there was no way she’d ever let herself open up to love again.
16
Camilla rolled over on the sofa and gagged. Her he
ad hurt, her mouth was dry and her tongue had a fur coating. She peered from under the throw she must have dragged over herself at some point.
What time was it? The only light that had managed to sneak through the gap in her curtains was grey, so it could be morning or afternoon. She didn’t care.
Her coffee table was a mess. Mugs, wine glasses, used tissues and sweet wrappers littered its surface and as she forced herself to sit up, she realised that the horrible smell making her nauseous was coming from her. She hadn’t showered since Sunday and that had to be two or three days ago. Maybe more. The house was cold, the fire in the lounge had long gone out and she hadn’t bothered to relight it.
Her landline had rung and rung since Sunday, so she’d unplugged it from the wall. Her mobile was still at her mother’s and although someone had, at some point – but she couldn’t remember when – been knocking on the front door and calling through the letterbox, she’d shouted at them to go away. She thought it had been Rick, probably keen to put Dawn’s mind at rest, but she also believed she recalled her father’s voice too.
Camilla pushed the throw to the side and stood up, then wobbled as her head spun. She needed water desperately.
She padded out to the kitchen and groaned as she took in the mess out there too. The clock on the wall told her it was seven-thirty, so it was morning after all. She’d just filled a glass with cold tap water when someone knocked on her door and the letterbox fluttered open.
“Camilla! It’s your father. If you don’t let me in today, I’m getting the police or the fire brigade out to break your door down.”
Camilla froze. Break her door down? It was cold enough as it was without losing her front door.
She went through the hallway and knelt in front of the door then pressed her lips to the letterbox.
“Go away, I’m fine. I just want to be left alone.”
“You’ve said that for the past three days since you ran off from your mother’s after lunch. Your mobile kept ringing all Sunday night then all day Monday and yesterday the battery must’ve run out as it finally stopped. We could see from the caller ID that it was that vet, Tom, but we didn’t like to answer it.”
Winter at The Cosy Cottage Cafe_A deliciously festive feel-good Christmas romance Page 11
