She feels anger towards the Father for his abandonment of his people. She reasons if he cares about humanity or his children at all, he would have guided them, loved them and actually taken on the role of Father for them. He would not have created them to fend for themselves in a world that no longer fits them, that they no longer understand. His intentions are unclear but they seem to be haphazard and cruelly implemented. Why interfere at all, why come and create his half-breed army only to leave them to be picked off over the course of time by people who don't even know what they are? Maybe he only cares about the ones he takes with him. These are mysteries she is apparently not meant to understand.
Amber can see only two things clearly, she has goals to attend to and both will prove to be equally important to the future of her people and of the world. She has decided that whatever he is trying to do, is at a crucial point. She must find the truth about the Father, the Son and the Circle. She must seek out the prophecies that foretell the great rapture, the dark days, and the end times. The truth will set her people free, she knows something has to change and only this makes sense to her. Even more importantly, no matter what it takes she will seek out the children and help them find their places in a world that may or may not accept them for what they are. They can no longer cower in the shadows waiting for a command that will never come, for a leader that has long ago lost interest. It's time to stand in the sunshine and bask in its beauty, to revel in the wonders the world has to offer and to be proud of the gifts that lie within. They must come together with one goal, one tribe, one people no matter who bore them.
Digging Deeper
She has to go deeper into the ancient world, she has to see the temples of the lost cities that tourists never get to see. She wants to wander the places that were long ago lost to humanity, that hold the children in safe and secure isolation. She wants to become the other version of herself and that will require James to go back to the safety of the hotel. She knows he will not go easily, he is a stubborn man and feels so strongly that he needs to be her protector, he doesn't understand what she is capable of, how could he? She hasn't shown him that part of herself yet. She is afraid, she fears when he knows her fully, his fear may outweigh his love for her.
"James, I need to do some things... very important things. I need for you to trust me." He looks at her in silence. "I am going to show you something and when I'm gone I want you to go back and wait for me. If you can't take me for what I am and you need to go back home, I will understand...I love you, and I know you love me, but some things are greater than even love can handle." She kisses him passionately and taking a step back prepares to give in to the change. He says nothing as he watches her from a distance. a bright orange light surrounds her, she holds it in her hands as it swarms around her, a vibrant swirl of power radiating from her body. The warmth coming off her skin is palpable and he has to step back even further to avoid her heat. The energy vibrates into flames bursting from her and crackling with startling rage, she stands allowing their tongues to lap at her hungrily. James is overwhelmed by the desire to put the fire out, to save her, his heart races. The fire does not burn her, instead it feeds her and his initial reaction to rush at her passes. He sees a beaming smile spread across her face and his fear though severe is lessened.
She stands before him, her palms facing the heavens, fire dancing around her like butterflies. Her beautiful hair blowing around her, the clothing she was wearing burning to ashes by the heat, leaving her a stunning vision of sensuality and mystery. He can't breathe watching her transformation and when she finally releases her body and becomes the bird of prey, the flaming phoenix, he nearly loses his footing. He gasps.
"You are beautiful"! he can only speak in a breathless rush, but she hears him, feels his emotions radiating toward her, his love, his passion and his acceptance engulfs her. "Good luck my love, come home to me." He turns slowly not wanting to turn his back toward her. As he reaches his bike she soars away.
He feels the tears running down his face, he doesn't know what to think or what to do, but he is astonished by her. He can only imagine the way it must feel for her to let go, and to fly so free. He envies her the ability to let go of all the baggage and to embrace another life entirely, and then he realizes he is falling into the same thought process she so brutally criticized before. He is wishing for the change, he is hoping that maybe she will share this gift with him. He has forgotten what she said about there being a price for everything, he has forgotten that she died in that car, that she burned to death, that she suffered an excruciating end. The memories wash over him weighing him down, dampening his appreciation for what she has become. She truly is as trapped as he in a life she didn't ask for or design. Perhaps she would have chosen another life, given the opportunity.
He rides back to the resort in silence, listening to the sounds of the forest around him, hearing for the first time the many voices silence holds. He is much more in tune with his surroundings and can appreciate the value of each tiny life. He watches the insects and the birds with a new sense of wonder. Anything could hold a human soul, does that actually make it more valuable or is he just now realizing how truly precious life is? He sees her goal, understands her need to help ease the suffering, the burden of the lost, he knows in his heart what she wants. James is also aware of the powerful and terrifying potential of the shifters out here with him in this jungle, he isn't sure whether they make him feel more secure and safe or whether he fears them. His mind seems to shift back and forth between the possibilities.
Amber understands completely that without direction, there can be no peace. She wants to help the lost regain their footing, to understand they are not alone or abandoned, there are others out there and life can still be as rich and full as they want it to be. She can't stand the waste of life, the waste of living that she sees everywhere she goes. The children all watching and waiting for permission to breathe, for a leader that will never come. They refuse to take life into their own hands, to experience and taste all of the wonders waiting for them because somewhere in the back of their minds they have been programmed to serve. What good is servitude to a master that no longer needs you, that no longer wants you, that no longer sees your dedication and sacrifice. She has to give them the opportunity to choose as she has chosen to have the best of everything. She has accepted the gift, but refuses to give up her humanity in the process. She wants to share with them the possibility they can have everything. Amber believes through their becoming a part of humanity, they can teach the skills it will take to turn back the hands of the end times. Only together there is hope in her mind, only as one tribe working in peace can the end be diverted.
They must see they live in a simple world where individual pieces are of no value, where no one action makes any difference, where it is the might of the many that can change the score. The end game is upon us and without a strong and united front, the end will fall upon us all without prejudice and with absolute finality.
It is our time, to play the game for ourselves. It is our time! She feels inspired and full of purpose. She envisions a world full of hopes and dreams and change. If the Ajana can unite, can bring attention to the state of the world, can show humanity the pathway to rebirth, the end of destruction, then the game can be won in the end. Wouldn't that benefit everyone involved? Maybe even the Father will help them in their fight when he sees she has led them as he hoped she would.
The Father made his play, created and abandoned, leaving a trail of breadcrumbs that leads to the truth, but unfortunately revelation of that truth comes far too late for salvation. The Father has instead of teaching reverence for life and for nature, burdened the world with a false reverence only for himself. This prideful decision may lead to the end of all life, and serves no purpose but to feed the ego of a spoiled and selfish being. This end could have been avoided had the children been taught in the beginning to love openly, to protect every creature equally and to respect the balance of nature. Perhaps
worshiping the mother of all things is not such a bad way to keep the world spinning after all, since worshiping the Father has gotten us nowhere. Amber feels respect and awe for the greatness she feels in his presence, and yet she sees the flaws in his actions. She sees him for what he cannot be. He is not an all knowing, omnipotent being, though he isn't human, and he is full of power, he isn't God. Even worse, the Son is merely a shadow of his father, a being of similar character and weakness.
Someone has to open the eyes of the capable showing them their potential. Someone has to reveal the truth about the Gods to the world, to open all eyes to the beauty that surrounds them. To make each creature step up and take responsibility for their own destiny, and to return a sense of value for life again, whether it be their own or every other that surrounds them. To become what we were meant to become something major must change about how we perceive and treat the world around us. We must all accept that we are something of both worlds the natural and the supernatural, bound one to the other by blood and by power. Through acceptance of our own responsibility there will be a sense of freedom. The unbound spirit will stand and fight for survival. The unbound soul will Awaken!
Amber is an idealist, wanting a simple answer to a complex problem. She knows this is a much deeper journey than it seems. There are hearts and minds involved that will need to find change, and that is not something that comes easily. She understands with everything she is, that this is a fight to the death. She is the first warrior of the awakened, the challenger of all that has been, and all that will be. She is not only the Phoenix rising from the ashes of her death, the loss of her humanity, but also dragging the rest of this truly God forsaken planet out of the ashes of its own quest for self-destruction.
She will remove the idol, the false God. She will show the world he is not invincible, all seeing and omnipotent. He is merely a creature like all the rest with weakness and fragility. She will find him again, and all the others like him, that perpetuate the slavery of the spirit. She knows he comes from somewhere out there, She knows the others cry to him, pray to him, beg for him to no avail. But she hopes he will come when she prepares his children for what darkness may come.
She finds herself surrounded by darkness, deep within the dense jungle. The oldest cities nearly lost beneath the thick canopy seeking to hide them, to return them to the earth from which they were risen. The mystery and the fantasy lost to the new world that has forgotten the messages and the accomplishments of the past. Cities of Gold buried beneath ashen graveyards, Fantastical worlds lost beneath the depths of the oceans, the great forgetting taking over where lessons were meant to be learned. The stones still standing, resonating the power that so fully engulfs everything connecting it all like the sensitive threads of a silken web.
Thats it! she realized in a sudden moment of clarity. She can feel the life, the balance. She can feel everything. She is a part of everything. What a truly sensuous experience. She opens herself to feel the subtleties of her surroundings. She embraces the wildness, the ravishing beauty of this existence so far from the hands that would change its perfection. This is what the world should be, not the cities, with their disturbing magnetic energies, their radio waves and their pollution. This is what is good and clean and lasting. We must get back to this if we are to survive. The rest will work itself out if we can just get life back to the way it used to be. Back to it's pure and simple state of being.
Just The Beginning
As Amber soars through the skies, watching the jungle floor for her last destination, the call flooding through her body, out into the surrounding world, she knows they are out there, the wild women, the Ajana. She can feel them. Hundreds taking the form in which they are most comfortable. As they begin to answer her, she feels the power of their presence. The combined potential of their gathering. A phenomenal tide in this sacred place. She has found it, the center of the web, not just a vision this time, the steps painted in the sacrifices of the past. The children always nearby waiting to feel the pleasure of the blood that he gives to strengthen them. Once these were his chosen few, bathed in the raw pleasure he rained down over them. Now they feel the sadness and emptiness of their loss. She calls and they rush to the temple, hoping to taste of his love once again.
As children seek out the approval of a cruel and unloving parent, they cannot accept he has gone. They refuse to believe they must find a purpose of their own. She has no words that can make them understand, their hearts are closed to her persuasions. In her desperation she conjures a vision. She shows them the truth, the past, and the future. She shows them this is not the first cycle of humanity, reveals how he has erased the board and begun again numerous times. She shows them how little he offers to them, how he is merely a shallow illusion of the kind of deity they make him out to be. She shows them his pride, his anger, and his cruelty. She shows them the truth and they can only suffer under its weight. This is going all wrong, this is not how her sisters responded to her before. She is breaking their spirits, taking their purpose and leaving them feeling empty and false. They are the warriors of the Father, Guardians of the temples of blood, they are the chosen, they are special, they will rule the world. Who is she to shake their beliefs. Who is she to destroy their faith. Amber begins to feel her thoughts waver. Is it possible she is doing damage to their lives instead of inspiring positive change? Is she making some kind of mistake?
As she reaches the climax of her message she feels something flash across her mind's eye, a disruption of the balance. She feels him only a moment before he knocks her to her knees. His strong arms tearing at her hair, her eyes, her face. The pain overtaking her instantaneously, as the blade penetrates her back. He isn't interested in a new leader for the tribes, he has taken on that role, and these women serve him well. He was born to rule and she is not welcome here.
They call him the one who should not be, the faceless one, the soul eater. He was born to the father and spared death due to his blindness. His face pale and ashen as the bloodless slaves the father drops at his feet to tempt him. The father offers him power but he knows as soon as he partakes of any of his offerings, death will soon follow. He has learned to survive, to seem helpless and quiet, and to strengthen his skills in the darkness and protection of the trees. The father does not mind a child that is incapable of breeding, seeing to that when he was young. The Father castrated him at the base of the pyramid for his blood sacrifice was not worthy of the others, his blood would only feed the worms and beasts of the earth. He was a creature of ridicule, but he saw the truth early. He knew the Father would not remain, he sensed the potential for his future. And he intended to keep his safe and secure place at the head of the table. He held his clan in submission using their fear and respect for the Father and he doesn't need a stranger coming in to reveal his charade. He claims to be the Father's right hand, the rightful ruler of this jungle, and she is not at all wanted here.
Amber struggles under his weight, she has been taken completely by surprise. When she regains her footing and turns on the man, his face stuns her for a moment. She expected to see the darkly handsome face of the Father, she should have known it was not him for he would have been far more dangerous than this young man. This albino child, his light milky eyes staring at her, through her. He pauses in his attack, the two taking the measure of the other. She can tell he can't actually see, but he can certainly feel. He is guided by the energies and she feels him pulling at hers. For a moment she feels fear, and then his exploration is met by her intuitive response. He doesn't know what he is up against.
He rushes her again and she turns to avert the thrust, his golden dagger glistening in the sunlight, flashing in her eyes. The light catches her attention for a brief instant and his other hand finds its mark against the side of her hip, he pushes and she is set off balance, once again taking a rough fall to her knees. He stands over her and poises the blade in his hand to cut her throat. The anger and fear within her rises into a swarm of energy. The fire coming to
her in a rush that sucks the energy out of the air around them. He pulls back at the sensation of his own precious energy being drawn toward her. His heart beat quickening. She can feel the unexpected fear rising within him, he has never seen anything like her before. A spark of recognition burns inside his mind but it doesn't take hold in time.
Despite his fear he thrusts at her again, one last desperate attempt to stop her. Her body is untouchable as his blade can't penetrate the fire around her. Though his eyes can't see her, he sees her clearly in his mind and realizes too late who she must be. Her anger touches him and his heart feels as if it will explode within his chest. He has been spared for so long only to fall at the feet of his sister; she has his power, his gifts, his rage. He has lost this battle before it even began. He only wishes he would have known before he tried to kill her. She hadn't seemed so much of a threat in her human form, her energy nothing more vibrant than any other clan woman. He falls to his knees before her crying out to her for mercy. Begging her to forgive him for his ignorance. He kneels trying to kiss her feet but the flames burn his flesh and he pulls back screaming in agony. Again he falls at her feet, his fear taking over his sanity and his thoughts clouding by pain. The dagger still flashing in his hand, he feels the shame of it and nearly puts it down, but then the knowledge washes over him.
Awakening - Book of Fire (Blood Heritage) Page 33
