I felt my cheeks heat at his words. “Yeah. I just don’t want kids to feel they have no one in their corner.” I looked over at my grandmother. “Having Gigi was a godsend for me, but some of these kids just aren’t that lucky. “ Looking back, I eyed him up and down. “So, a firefighter, huh? I always thought you would go into law or science.”
He cleared his throat and ran his hand over the back of his neck. “My dad.” Jackson’s voice got softer and his gaze drifted off to a place that I could only imagine was filled with sadness. “He passed away a few years back; he got trapped in a pretty bad fire. The firefighters saved him, got him out of the building, but he died a few days later due to complications.”
My empathy rose up instantly and I took a step toward him. “I’m so sorry.”
He smiled but it was sad. “I wanted to help people, really make a difference. So fighting fires seemed like a good place to start. Kind of like a tribute to my old man. I fell in love with it right away.”
In that moment, I knew the geeky boy with a heart of gold had turned into a big, strong man but kept that same heart.
“Anyway, enough about me. I wanted to check on your grandmother and make sure she was okay.”
“I’m good,” Gigi said from behind me. “Gonna catch up on my Soaps anyway.”
I shook my head. “She’s good,” I said and grinned.
“In that case I’d love to catch up, maybe go to dinner? You can’t survive on pop and bad vending machine junk food.” At his words my heart started to pound ferociously in my chest, and my palms started to sweat. My nerves got the better of me.
“I’d love to.” As the words escaped my lips, I realized that after all these years Jackson still had a hold on me. This was like fate leaving me a breadcrumb trail. Maybe now I could have the courage to just tell him how I felt, that even after all these years he was the only one I wanted.
4
Jackson
My heart was thundering and my hands shook as I smoothed my fingers through my short dark hair. I stared at my reflection and the man staring back at me was still that geeky little kid back in high school.
I took off my glasses, which I wore around the house. As I stared at myself in the mirror again, I realized I wanted Avery to see me and remember me for who I was. So I picked up the glasses and put them back on, forgetting about the contacts for tonight.
Even though my body was bigger and stronger, stacked with muscle, I was still the same person she knew. We just needed time to get to know each other again, to rekindle that friendship that had been separated by time. But I felt the same way for her, that love I always had growing every day. And when I’d seen her today I knew she was the one, knew she’d always been the one.
That much was clear by the feelings that rose up and consumed me when I saw her in that hospital room. It seemed like no time had passed at all, like I’d been by her side for all these years. I knew I didn’t want to hide how I felt anymore. I couldn’t.
But how would she feel if she knew I’d desired her this whole time? How would she feel if she knew I’d never been with a woman because she was the only one I wanted? Hell, even thinking that made me seem fixated, obsessed with her. And maybe I was, maybe this possessiveness I had toward her wasn’t normal. But to me, it sure as hell felt like it.
Tonight was the night I would tell her everything. She might reject me, but in the end, at least I would have told her how I felt.
I grabbed my keys off the foyer table and headed out the front door. Once in my truck, I drove toward the café where we’d decided to meet. I wanted to be a gentleman, pick her up, open the doors for her, all that good stuff, but I figured letting her take control was the best route. So I hadn’t argued the fact when she’d said we could meet instead of me picking her up.
We hadn’t seen each other in ages, even though to me it felt like no time had passed at all. I could look into her eyes and see that girl I’d loved so long ago, my emotions stronger than ever. But my nerves were taking control, threatening to consume me.
Ten minutes later I was pulling into the parking lot of the small café, cutting the engine and just sitting there, staring at the front window. I could see Avery already sitting at a booth. Our booth. It was the same one we’d sat in so many times during high school. I remembered those days like they had been last week instead of six years ago.
I’d sat across from her, wondering if she was still into strawberry milkshakes. That was always her favorite. I remember just sitting there staring at her, the long fall of her hair having my fingers itch. I’d wanted to reach out and touch the strands far too many times.
Bracing myself for what I was going to do tonight, I got out of the truck and shut the door. For as strong as I was, as much as I prided myself on my self-control and restraint, when I was around Avery she made me feel like I was still that awkward teenager.
Pulling open the door, a little bell above it jingled my entrance. Avery had her focus on her phone. But then she lifted her head and our gazes locked. My heart beat faster and I felt like that sixteen-year-old boy all over again. Staring into her eyes transferred me back to the past to all the things I wish I’d done.
I strode forward and sat down across from her, feeling all kinds of nervous right now.
“Hi,” she said softly. “I ordered us some shakes like how it used to be. Hope that's okay?”
The waitress came by before I could respond, a chocolate milkshake for me and a strawberry one for her. “It’s perfect,” I finally said once we were alone. She didn’t say anything in response, just looked down at her shake, her hand slightly shaking as she traced her finger along the bottom of the glass.
“What can I get for you two?” the waitress said, back again before I even realized it.
Avery looked at me and smiled, and I knew this was just like old times. Looking at the waitress, I ordered two burgers and a side of fries for us to share. We’d always had this when we came here, and being in this situation after so many years felt nostalgic and … right.
I could do those things now, tell her how I felt, what I wanted. I would do them now.
I wasn’t going to let Avery slip away again. Because not telling her how I felt all those years ago was the worst mistake of my life.
5
Avery
My hands shook from the nerves, bullets ricocheting through my body. Jackson was so perfect, just like I remembered from all those years ago. I looked at his glasses and smiled, thinking back to a time when they would slip down his nose and I would gently push them up. It shocked me how much I had missed him over the years.
“You still like mayo on your fries?” he asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“You know it.” I smiled at the fact that something so trivial was a memory for him. “You still think it’s disgusting?” When we were kids he would gag at the mountain of mayonnaise I would smother on my fries.
“You know it.” He laughed and it wrapped around me like a warm blanket, removing all the nerves that were clinging to my skin.
When the food came we ate slowly, locking gazes with each other and almost getting lost in the memories. The crazy girl and the smart nerd, two opposites but so compatible in their affection. A true friendship that went beyond what the rest of the world saw.
My heart felt so full at that moment that suddenly a sadness came over me because I didn’t know where this was going or if my heart would get broken. It had been so long and things change over time. Maybe he was just here for one dinner and then he would be out of my life again.
God, I hope not.
I bit my bottom lip, lost in thought.
“Avery,” Jackson said softly.
The next thing I knew Jackson was sitting right beside me. This soft sigh left me at his sudden closeness. “Jackson?” We stared at each other for long seconds, the air thickening.
The next thing I knew his mouth was on mine, gentle, sweet and filled with passion. I was so shocked by what was happeni
ng that I was frozen in place. He tugged on my bottom lip and bit it gently, making my heart pound with excitement. The kiss lasted long enough for passion and lust to consume me.
Good...he tasted so good. It was like chocolate and whipped cream, like the milkshake he'd been drinking.
“I wanted to do that for so long. I just couldn’t hold out one more second,” Jackson whispered against my lips, his eyes still closed. His face looked pained, as if he were waiting for something.
I cupped his cheek in my hand, feeling the stubble along his jawline. His face had really changed over the years, now muscular and defined. In that moment I saw my friend, the cute boy I had fallen in love with so many years ago.
“I’ve been waiting for you to do that for years.”
Jackson’s eyes opened after I spoke. And then he kissed me again. This time he held nothing back. His kiss was pure seduction, one that meant to claim, to own me.
“I’m going to pay the bill and then I’m going to get you alone without all these people watching.” He stared deep into my eyes. “I want to do nothing but kiss you for hours.” With that, Jackson left me in search of the waitress.
I was light headed, drunk from the emotions moving through me. I could feel the gazes of strangers on me, knew they’d witnessed what had happened. I felt my cheeks heat, knew my face was probably red. But I didn’t care. I was happy as hell right now.
When Jackson came back we headed outside, his arm around my waist, pulling me toward him and gently nibbling at my earlobe. This was all so strange but also wonderful. It was like our relationship had taken a one-eighty, yet it felt so perfect and right, like this was where we were supposed to be all along.
“Where did you park?”
“I didn’t drive. I took good old public transit.”
“Well, why the fuck didn’t you let me pick you up?” Jackson said, his voice laced with amusement.
“I like being independent.”
“Taking a ride from me isn’t making you less independent. I just want to take care of my girl.”
“Your girl?’ My voice sounded small but my words rang with so much hope.
“Avery, if you think after all these years that I am ever going to let you go again, you are dreaming.” He grinned proudly. “Yes, my girl. You're mine, always have been and always will be. I was just too much of a pussy to say anything back then.”
“What if I don’t want to be your girl?” I teased, knowing full well that I wanted to.
“Please don’t make me one of those deranged stalker guys who kidnaps the girl and chains her up.” He kissed my cheek, laughing.
“Sir, is this yours?” We both turned around when the waitress shouted from the front entrance. She held up Jackson's phone.
“Shit,” he said under his breath. “I’ll be right back.” He leaned down and kissed me before heading back toward the restaurant.
I made my way to his truck, knowing I was grinning from ear to ear.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
I stopped and looked toward a darkened corner of the parking lot where the streetlight didn’t quite touch.
“If you’re looking for a date, I am definitely interested in a fine piece of ass like you.”
Was this guy for real? Had he not seen me with Jackson? I glanced toward the restaurant and saw Jackson speaking with the waitress still. I chose to ignore this guy who had to either be stupid, an asshole, or drunk. Or maybe he was all three. And then he was walking toward me, the cigarette hanging from his mouth lit red at the end.
Time seemed to stand still as I watched him come closer. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I couldn’t move, this coldness settling over me. And then he was right in front of me.
“Damn, you’re pretty—” A shadow passed over his body, stopping him from saying anything else.
“If you don’t want me to break your fucking face, you better move away from her,” Jackson said, his voice angry, low and lethal.
Yeah, I didn’t see this ending well.
6
Jackson
My anger rose up like a violent beast, and I curled my hands into tight fists at my sides. I could smell the alcohol from the guy when I’d stopped a foot from him. As soon as I’d seen him moving toward Avery, every protective instinct in my body had risen up.
Things had escalated quickly between us at the diner, where I’d found myself sitting beside her, my lips pressed to hers. I hadn’t been able to stop myself. And although I wanted to go slow, ease her into it, tell her how much I loved her, something just snapped inside of me. I had been done waiting. And she’d reciprocated the act, kissing me with just as much passion as I had her.
I’d known in that moment that things would work out, that she would be mine. But right now, in this moment, I felt like breaking this asshole’s nose, and letting him know that even talking to Avery—my girl—had some serious repercussions.
“This doesn’t concern you, buddy.” The guy took a step closer and I felt every part of my body tense. “This is between me and this pretty little gash.”
I clenched my teeth at his words. “Not only have you talked and looked at my woman, now you insulted her.” Before I knew what was happening, I swung out and connected my fist with the side of his face. I felt bone crunch under my knuckles, heard a sickening cracking sound.
His head cocked to the side and he stumbled back, blood instantly coming out of his nose. I heard Avery gasp beside me and I turned to look at her, seeing her hands covering her mouth and her eyes wide. She glanced between me and the guy, her shock evident.
“I think you broke my damn nose,” the guy said.
“You’re lucky that was the only thing I broke,” I found myself saying through gritted teeth. I’d never been a man who resorted to violence, didn’t have an angry bone in my body. But when it came to Avery, this caveman instinct in me rose up.
“Oh, my God, Jackson,” Avery said.
I took her hand and led her away from the guy, knowing that if I stayed I’d just end up beating his ass even more. I helped her into the truck and turned back to see the guy. He was still where I’d left him, holding his hand over his face as blood poured down his mouth and chin and covered his T-shirt.
I took a step toward him and he held up his free hand, shaking his head.
“Nah, man. I’m good.”
Truth was I kind of wanted to fight with him, wanted to really lay into him for what he’d said to Avery, what his intentions were toward her. But I found myself taking control and walked over to the driver side and climbed in. Once the door was shut the silence descended, the air thickening, heating. I looked over at Avery and saw she watched me.
“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling ashamed for not being able to practice some self-control.
She didn’t say anything, and instead reached out and placed her hand on my forearm. I felt myself relax at her touch.
“You don’t have to apologize. The guy was out of line. I would’ve done the same thing if the roles were reversed.” She smiled and leaned in, kissing me soundly.
I could have stayed in that moment forever. “I want to take you somewhere,” I said against her lips. She pulled back and smiled, and I wondered if she knew what my plans were. It seemed like everything was moving so fast, but also so perfectly.
“I hope it’s to the pond,” she said softly, and I felt myself smile.
The pond. It was on the outskirts of town, a place we’d gone to several times while growing up. It was a place where a lot of the high schoolers had partied. It was the perfect place because of lack of supervision and being away from prying eyes and ears. But for Avery and me it had been something different.
We’d studied sitting in front of that pool of water, watched the sun set many times. I’d thought about telling her I loved her during those visits to that serene place. Yet I’d been too much of a wimp to do that.
But I wasn’t a coward anymore. That was clear by the fact I’d finally kissed her after so many
years of wanting to.
“Yeah,” I said. “I figured it’s a good place for us to reminisce, maybe talk about what’s going on.” I felt my throat tightening, my heart beating faster. I wanted to know what was going on between us, if what she felt for me was the same as I felt for her.
Tonight all things would be revealed. This had been a long time coming.
7
Avery
When Jackson had confirmed he was taking me to the pond, I’d felt my pulse quicken. The pond was always a special place for us. Even though it wasn't a big secret and everyone in our school hung out there, for us it was where we would go and just be … us.
I liked being with Jackson there. I felt safe and special with him. Other than my grandmother, no one else in my life had ever made me feel that way. I’d always wanted Jackson to make a move.
No one in my entire life had been as special to me as Jackson was. I would never risk losing him or scaring him off. When he moved away it felt like I’d lost a piece of myself, but now that he was back, it was like I was beginning to become whole once again.
When we got to the pond, Jackson parked and got out of the driver's side. He opened the door and helped me out of the truck.
“You’re a little bit smoother than the boy I remember,” I teased. “The big city must have taught you a thing or two.”
Jackson chuckled, the sound deep and velvet in quality. That softness sang to my heart. It was the same way he would laugh when we were kids, with so much tenderness that it made me melt.
“Nah, the big city didn’t teach me anything. For the longest time I wanted to cradle you in my arms, keep you safe, and make sure that your days would be filled with joy. I just didn’t have the balls back then.” He smiled. “But now, I’ll be damned if I don’t claim you and do all those things.” He cupped my cheek. “You have always been mine, Avery. From the moment we met, we were meant to be. Even all those years apart, I knew that. It’s why there was never anyone else. Just you. It’s always been you.”
Stoking Her Fire Page 2
