Which like a waxen image ’gainst a fire
Bears no impression of the thing it was.
Methinks my zeal to Valentine is cold,
And that I love him not as I was wont.
O, but I love his lady too-too much,
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And that’s the reason I love him so little.
How shall I dote on her with more advice,
That thus without advice begin to love her?
’Tis but her picture I have yet beheld,
And that hath dazzled my reason’s light;
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But when I look on her perfections,
There is no reason but I shall be blind.
If I can check my erring love, I will;
If not, to compass her I’ll use my skill. Exit.
2.5 Enter SPEED and LAUNCE with his dog.
SPEED Launce, by mine honesty, welcome to Padua.
LAUNCE Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not
welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never
undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a place
till some certain shot be paid, and the hostess say
5
‘welcome’.
SPEED Come on, you madcap: I’ll to the ale-house with
you presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou
shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how
did thy master part with Madam Julia?
10
LAUNCE Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted
very fairly in jest.
SPEED But shall she marry him?
LAUNCE No.
SPEED How then? Shall he marry her?
15
LAUNCE No, neither.
SPEED What, are they broken?
LAUNCE No; they are both as whole as a fish.
SPEED Why then, how stands the matter with them?
LAUNCE Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it
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stands well with her.
SPEED What an ass art thou, I understand thee not.
LAUNCE What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My
staff understands me.
SPEED What thou say’st?
25
LAUNCE Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I’ll but lean,
and my staff understands me.
SPEED It stands under thee indeed.
LAUNCE Why, stand under and understand is all one.
SPEED But tell me true, will’t be a match?
30
LAUNCE Ask my dog: if he say ‘ay’, it will; if he say ‘no’,
it will; if he shake his tail, and say nothing, it will.
SPEED The conclusion is, then, that it will.
LAUNCE Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but
by a parable.
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SPEED ’Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how say’st
thou that my master is become a notable lover?
LAUNCE I never knew him otherwise.
SPEED Than how?
LAUNCE A notable lubber; as thou reportest him to be.
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SPEED Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak’st me.
LAUNCE Why, fool, I meant not thee, I meant thy
master.
SPEED I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
LAUNCE Why, I tell thee, I care not, though he burn
45
himself in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the ale-
house; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth
the name of a Christian.
SPEED Why?
LAUNCE Because thou hast not so much charity in thee
50
as to go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
SPEED At thy service. Exeunt.
2.6 Enter PROTEUS alone.
PROTEUS To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn;
To love fair Silvia, shall I be forsworn;
To wrong my friend, I shall be much forsworn.
And ev’n that power which gave me first my oath
Provokes me to this threefold perjury.
5
Love bade me swear, and Love bids me forswear.
O sweet-suggesting Love, if thou hast sinn’d,
Teach me (thy tempted subject) to excuse it.
At first I did adore a twinkling star,
But now I worship a celestial sun:
10
Unheedful vows may heedfully be broken,
And he wants wit that wants resolved will
To learn his wit t’exchange the bad for better.
Fie, fie, unreverend tongue, to call her bad
Whose sovereignty so oft thou hast preferr’d,
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With twenty thousand soul-confirming oaths.
I cannot leave to love; and yet I do;
But there I leave to love, where I should love.
Julia I lose, and Valentine I lose;
If I keep them, I needs must lose myself;
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If I lose them, thus find I by their loss:
For Valentine, myself; for Julia, Silvia.
I to myself am dearer than a friend,
For love is still most precious in itself,
And Silvia (witness heaven that made her fair)
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Shows Julia but a swarthy Ethiope.
I will forget that Julia is alive,
Rememb’ring that my love to her is dead.
And Valentine I’ll hold an enemy,
Aiming at Silvia as a sweeter friend.
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I cannot now prove constant to myself,
Without some treachery us’d to Valentine.
This night he meaneth with a corded ladder
To climb celestial Silvia’s chamber-window,
Myself in counsel, his competitor.
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Now presently I’ll give her father notice
Of their disguising and pretended flight;
Who, all enrag’d, will banish Valentine,
For Thurio he intends shall wed his daughter.
But Valentine being gone, I’ll quickly cross,
40
By some sly trick, blunt Thurio’s dull proceeding.
Love, lend me wings to make my purpose swift
As thou hast lent me wit to plot this drift. Exit.
2.7 Enter JULIA and LUCETTA.
JULIA Counsel, Lucetta; gentle girl, assist me,
And ev’n in kind love I do conjure thee,
Who art the table wherein all my thoughts
Are visibly character’d and engrav’d,
To lesson me, and tell me some good mean
5
How with my honour I may undertake
A journey to my loving Proteus.
LUCETTA Alas, the way is wearisome and long.
JULIA A true-devoted pilgrim is not weary
To measure kingdoms with his feeble steps,
10
Much less shall she that hath Love’s wings to fly,
And when the flight is made to one so dear,
Of such divine perfection as Sir Proteus.
LUCETTA Better forbear, till Proteus make return.
JULIA
O, know’st thou not his looks are my soul’s food?
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Pity the dearth that I have pined in,
By longing for that food so long a time.
Didst thou but know the inly touch of love,
Thou wouldst as soon go kindle fire with snow
As seek to quench the fire of love with words.
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LUCETTA I do not seek to quench your love’s hot fire,
But qualify the fire’s extreme rage,
Lest it should burn above the bounds of reason.
JULIA
The more thou damm’st it up, the more it burns:
The current that with gentle murmur glides,
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Thou know’st, being stopp’d impatiently doth rage;
But when his fair course is not hindered,
He makes sweet music with th’ enamell’d stones,
Giving a gentle kiss to every sedge
He overtaketh in his pilgrimage.
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And so by many winding nooks he strays
With willing sport to the wild ocean.
Then let me go, and hinder not my course.
I’ll be as patient as a gentle stream,
And make a pastime of each weary step,
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Till the last step have brought me to my love,
And there I’ll rest, as after much turmoil
A blessed soul doth in Elysium.
LUCETTA But in what habit will you go along?
JULIA Not like a woman, for I would prevent
40
The loose encounters of lascivious men:
Gentle Lucetta, fit me with such weeds
As may beseem some well-reputed page.
LUCETTA Why, then your ladyship must cut your hair.
JULIA No, girl, I’ll knit it up in silken strings,
45
With twenty odd-conceited true-love knots:
To be fantastic may become a youth
Of greater time than I shall show to be.
LUCETTA
What fashion, madam, shall I make your breeches?
JULIA That fits as well as ‘Tell me, good my lord,
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What compass will you wear your farthingale?’
Why, ev’n what fashion thou best likes, Lucetta.
LUCETTA
You must needs have them with a cod-piece, madam.
JULIA Out, out, Lucetta, that will be ill-favour’d.
LUCETTA
A round hose, madam, now’s not worth a pin
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Unless you have a cod-piece to stick pins on.
JULIA Lucetta, as thou lov’st me let me have
What thou think’st meet, and is most mannerly.
But tell me, wench, how will the world repute me
For undertaking so unstaid a journey?
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I fear me it will make me scandalis’d.
LUCETTA
If you think so, then stay at home, and go not.
JULIA Nay, that I will not.
LUCETTA Then never dream on infamy, but go.
If Proteus like your journey, when you come,
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No matter who’s displeas’d, when you are gone.
I fear me he will scarce be pleas’d withal.
JULIA That is the least, Lucetta, of my fear:
A thousand oaths, an ocean of his tears,
And instances of infinite of love,
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Warrant me welcome to my Proteus.
LUCETTA All these are servants to deceitful men.
JULIA Base men, that use them to so base effect;
But truer stars did govern Proteus’ birth,
His words are bonds, his oaths are oracles,
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His love sincere, his thoughts immaculate,
His tears pure messengers sent from his heart,
His heart as far from fraud as heaven from earth.
LUCETTA
Pray heav’n he prove so when you come to him.
JULIA Now, as thou lov’st me, do him not that wrong,
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To bear a hard opinion of his truth.
Only deserve my love, by loving him,
And presently go with me to my chamber
To take a note of what I stand in need of,
To furnish me upon my longing journey.
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All that is mine I leave at thy dispose,
My goods, my lands, my reputation,
Only, in lieu thereof, dispatch me hence.
Come; answer not; but to it presently,
I am impatient of my tarriance. Exeunt.
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3.1 Enter DUKE, THURIO and PROTEUS.
DUKE Sir Thurio, give us leave, I pray, awhile,
We have some secrets to confer about. Exit Thurio.
Now tell me, Proteus, what’s your will with me?
PROTEUS
My gracious lord, that which I would discover
The law of friendship bids me to conceal,
5
But when I call to mind your gracious favours
Done to me, undeserving as I am,
My duty pricks me on to utter that
Which else no worldly good should draw from me.
Know, worthy prince, Sir Valentine my friend
10
This night intends to steal away your daughter;
Myself am one made privy to the plot.
I know you have determin’d to bestow her
On Thurio, whom your gentle daughter hates,
And should she thus be stol’n away from you,
The Arden Shakespeare Complete Works Page 539
