by Jane Matisse
He quickly got up from where he was lying and began looking for the cause. When his vision cleared, he realized he wasn’t in his room. He wasn’t even in his own home. And the cloud he had squeezed wasn’t a cloud at all, but Penelope’s thigh lying on top of his legs. Somehow, the two of them had passed out on Penelope’s tiny sofa. And the cause of his pain was Penelope’s arm smacking into his face.
His neck felt cramped and his back was sore, yet he had slept like a baby. The sunlight coming through the windows suggested it was a little later than expected, and Jack looked at his phone.
“Shit!” It was already nine o’clock. He was supposed to be at work an hour ago.
Penelope quickly got up from her fetal position on the couch, groggy. “Huh? What?” she asked, confused.
“It’s nine! I was supposed to be at work already! Shit!”
“Fuck!” The realization alarmed Penelope from her obvious groggy state. “I was supposed to meet up with my best client now!”
Both of them were in motion. Jack followed Penelope to the bathroom, both of them sharing the sink to wash their faces and erase any sign of sleep in their eyes.
“I have an extra toothbrush down here that I haven’t used. Brush your teeth. Your breath smells,” Penelope offered, handing Jack the toothbrush. They brushed their teeth in sync and gargled mouthwash together.
They wiped their faces and quickly began to dress. Penelope went into her room to change while Jack rushed to the kitchen and boiled some water. He searched the cabinets for tea bags and spotted them. By the time Penelope walked into the kitchen fully dressed, the teapot was whistling.
“I took the liberty to boil some water for tea,” Jack confessed, quickly looking through the cupboards for any travel mugs.
“Oh, you’re a savior!” Penelope responded, quickly taking out the mugs from underneath the counter, adding a bag of tea for each, and mixing in a spoonful of honey. “You have everything with you? Shoes, phone, wallet, car keys?” she asked, handing Jack his mug.
“Check, check, check, and check,” Jack responded, grabbing Penelope’s purse from the wall hanger and handing it to her. He opened the door of her apartment and held it.
“Thank you. I guess you’ll text or call me when you’re willing to continue planning for the bachelorette party? We still need a few party supplies,” Penelope added, closing her door and walking down the stairs to the street.
“Yep, I’ll let you know,” Jack responded. “Have a great meeting.” Jack stood facing her when they got to the sidewalk.
“Okay, cool. You, too,” Penelope replied, ready to walk to her car.
“See you later.” Jack swiftly bent down to kiss her cheek, and as a reflex, Penelope kissed his. They turned around and walked to their cars at opposite sides of the street. It wasn’t until Jack had gotten inside his car and buckled himself that he looked at the travel mug in his hand and asked, “What the hell just happened?”
CHAPTER TWELVE
I remember why I always found love to be a nuisance: you can’t control it. I hate not having control of every aspect of my life. You don’t choose who you fall in love with. You don’t get to choose who makes you happy. It just happens, and in the most inconvenient moments. Unfortunately, there’s no way to stop it.
DIARY OF A WALLFLOWER: Entry 157
“Mr. Goodman, where would you like me to leave this finished file? It’s the paperwork for the Johnson Company.”
Jack looked up from his desk to see Mary, his secretary, holding a fat manila folder in her hands.
“I’ll just take that for now and plug it into the system before handing it to Records,” he replied. Mary walked toward his desk, a confident sway to her hips, and placed the folder in his outstretched hand.
“Anything else I can do for you?” she asked, deliberately licking her lips. Once upon a time, Jack would’ve taken her up on her offer. He would’ve invited her to dinner, walked her to her place with the excuse to drink a glass of wine, and fucked her until he was numb. Once upon a time, watching Mary walk around in her tight pencil skirt, fuck-me heels, and low-cut blouse that showed a generous amount of cleavage had enticed him, made him hard.
Now, he felt... nothing. And he had no idea why. He dismissed her with a shake of his head, and she left with a small pout of disappointment on her lips.
He hadn’t been himself for the longest time. He was in a dry spell, for goodness’ sake. He’d broken up with his girlfriend a few months before moving to LA, and the last person he’d had sex with was his one-night stand with Penelope. He needed to get back on the horse fast or he was probably going to end up doing something he would regret later. Something like sleeping with Penelope again. He chuckled at his thought process. He wanted her. That much he would admit, but he couldn’t do that to Penelope. She deserved someone who would give her forever.
Yet, for the past few weeks he had spent more time with Penelope than with his own friends. Maybe it was because of the genuine attention she gave him. She seemed to listen to every word that came out of his mouth, and didn’t let his suggestiveness faze her, even though he felt her body respond whenever he was near.
The phone rang, interrupting Jack’s thoughts. He quickly picked up.
“Jack Goodman speaking,” he answered.
“Geez, you’d think you could be a little livelier when answering your own phone. I know you never really liked the office type job, but you’d think you would’ve gotten used to it by now,” his mother answered at the other end of the line.
“Hello, Mom. How are you?” Jack replied, rolling his eyes.
“Still alive, if you must know. Although I could be dead for all you care. What? You don’t have a phone you could call me with just to see how I’m doing? I always have to call you?”
“Yes, Mom. It means you still love me,” Jack teased. His mother scoffed. “Sorry. I’ve just been a little bit preoccupied with my friend’s wedding and dealing with the preparations.”
“I heard! At least Celeste has the decency to call me once in a while to see how we’re doing. She told me you’re her maid of honor. My Jackie, all sentimental! I thought you were against weddings?”
“I still am, don’t worry. Planning to fully cleanse myself of the wedding cooties after the ceremony is over and I’m back to hunting for my next victim,” he jested, smiling to himself.
His mother gasped. “One day, you’re going to swallow those words when you’ve blinked and realized you’ve gotten yourself ‘leg shackled,’ as your father calls it.”
Jack sighed. “Was there a point to this phone call, Mom? I’m kind of busy right now.”
“Oh, I see how much I mean to you,” she replied. “I just wanted to make sure you’re coming down for your father’s birthday on the fourteenth. You know the whole family’s coming over to celebrate, and he would love to see you since you didn’t make it for Fourth of July.”
“Mom, you know I was busy taking care of my transfer papers and my move here. Planning a wedding is hard stuff,” Jack started. “Don’t worry, I’ll see you guys in about two weeks. I already have my plane ticket,” he said, searching online for a flight to Maine. He tended to procrastinate quite a bit.
“We’ll be waiting for you at the airport to pick you up. There’s also a surprise waiting for you,” she added.
“Oh yeah? What?”
“More like a who, but no matter. You’ll find out when you get here. Make sure you get that plane ticket soon, or your father won’t be happy with you bailing on his birthday, too,” his mom replied.
“All right, Mom. Bye.” He hung up the phone before she could think of something else to say. Jack then made the payment for the flight before he changed his mind.
* * *
“Are you okay, Penelope?” Sarah asked, looking up from her edits.
“What? Yeah, of course I am! Why do you ask?” Penelope responded, a bit confused.
“You just poured salt in your tea.” Sarah pointed at the saltshaker
in Penelope’s hand.
“Oh shit,” Penelope softly groaned, placing the saltshaker on the table and pushing her spoiled tea to the side.
“Want to talk about it?”
Penelope sighed, hesitating a bit. “It... it’s a guy I know. No big deal.”
“Oh boy. You’re beginning to have feelings for him?”
Penelope nodded.
“What’s the problem? Is he married? Has children? Is he into BDSM?”
“Oh gosh! None of that!” Penelope laughed. “My story is not one of your novels.”
“Hey, you never know. A lot of the books I write are based on people I’ve met, and a little bit of my own imagination.” She smiled and winked. “So? Which is it?”
Penelope’s smile disappeared. “Can you keep a secret?”
Sarah crossed her heart as an oath of secrecy.
“I met this guy at a bar. We got to talking, and I was completely shocked that he seemed interested in me. Needless to say, we kissed, and... well I kind of went home with him,” Penelope hesitantly confessed.
“Wow, you didn’t waste any time.” Sarah smiled, leaning in to listen to the rest of the story.
Penelope laughed. “But that’s not all of it.”
“Tell me more.”
“I met him again at my sister’s engagement party.”
“Wait... what?”
“He turned out to be my sister’s maid of honor,” Penelope confessed.
“What?” Sarah yelled.
Penelope looked at her sheepishly.
“I swear, your love life is worthy of being published. So, your sister’s maid of honor turned out to be your one-night stand.” Sarah sat in her chair with a huff. “This is a lot for my poor old brain to take in. I can just imagine what you must have gone through when you found out.”
“It wasn’t pretty. I almost fell to the ground before he caught me, got drunk, and passed out in between some bushes. The next morning I woke up in his bed with a nasty bump on my temple.”
“In his bed? You mean, you....” Sarah lifted her eyebrows.
“Oh, God no! I would never be able to live with myself!” Penelope laughed.
“So what now?”
Penelope frowned again. “I don’t know,” she whined, burying her head in her hands. “I’m not the kind of girl he goes for. He likes the fit, sexy, confident model with exotic eyes. I barely have any self-esteem left to get myself out of bed every morning and leave my apartment!”
Sarah looked at Penelope with an interested gleam in her eye. “You are much more confident than you realize. But until you fully embrace being yourself, just remember that you are entitled to love just like anyone else, no matter who it is.”
Penelope managed a smile at the author’s words of wisdom. “Now, where did we leave off with Lord Ravenswood and Miss Mattie?” she asked, turning the manuscript in front of her to the last page marked off. Everything was going to be okay. At least for now. She would just have to deal with her unresolved feelings for Jack later. It wasn’t like they were going anywhere anytime soon, right?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Remember when I mentioned that if you had a great first experience with sex you’d crave it plenty afterwards? I sort of lied. At least to myself. The only person I would ever want to have sex with again would be him, my one-night stand. I try to picture myself with another guy in bed and I can’t. His face always appears. If only I could convince him, only for a little while, that he wants me too.
DIARY OF A WALLFLOWER: Entry 160
“I cannot believe you brought me here.”
“Oh, come on. You’ve never been inside one before?”
Penelope looked at Jack, horrified. “No!”
“So, that means you buy your toys online,” Jack replied nonchalantly. “Makes sense.” He chucked Penelope under her chin, to which she responded with a punch to his stomach in annoyance. He groaned. “What was that for?”
“Don’t act like you’re not trying to embarrass me. And stop touching my chin. One day you’ll accidentally break my teeth.” She couldn’t keep her blood from rushing to her face.
They were standing in the parking lot of a small pink shop with tinted windows and a blinking sign that read XXX. Penelope shook her head ferociously and turned to get back inside Jack’s car. She was all for being spontaneous, but she’d never expected her first time at an adult store to be with Jack.
He was quick to grab her hand and pull her back toward him, throwing an arm around her shoulders to keep her from opening the door and climbing in the car. “Oh, no you don’t. We’ve got some shopping to do.”
“Couldn’t we just order whatever it is we need online like normal people?” Penelope tried wrestling out of his grasp. Of course, the guy wouldn’t budge no matter how much she struggled.
“What would be the fun in that? Besides, we don’t have time for that. The party is next week and we still have a few more stops to make before then.” It was Wednesday already and the party was set to happen the following Saturday night. They had originally planned to rent out a limo and bar hop the whole night, until one of the bridesmaids had mentioned her parents had a pool house they would be able to use for the event. Penelope had ordered the cake, and Jack had been adamant about ordering booze in bulk.
“Remind me why we’re here in the first place,” Penelope whispered as they both opened the gate and let themselves in the shop. The lighting was flickering slightly. Along the walls were shelves, and racks placed in the middle of the store were filled with toys, lingerie, candy, condoms—everything a porn star would need for a film.
“We’re looking for some balloons, penis lollipops, and maybe a baby doll for yourself?” he teased, bumping her shoulder with his.
“Ha! In your dreams, pervert!” She slipped out of his arms and looked around the shop, trying to keep her blushing to a minimum. She tried not looking at anything for too long, worried that Jack would think she was daydreaming about sex. Although daydreaming of Jack in a thong didn’t sound like too bad of an idea....
No! She had to pull herself together. They were just going to buy what they needed and get the fuck out of there.
“What do you think of these?” Jack asked, coming from behind some display shelves with a container of...
“Penis rings?” Penelope asked, reading off the label.
“Yeah, they’re different colors, small, and a piece of jewelry. Don’t women like rings?”
Penelope didn’t answer, still too shocked to come up with any response.
“Think of these as the adult version of a Ring Pop.” Jack grinned, enjoying her discomfort a little too much.
“Jack, those don’t even go on your fingers. They go on your... cock.” She whispered the word.
He moaned playfully and leaned in toward her. “I love it when you talk dirty to me.”
She let out a nervous laugh. It started soft at first, then got louder as she laughed at the absurdity of it all. Two months ago she’d been too busy reading, blogging, and editing day in and day out. She never even liked drinking. Ever since Jack came into her life, it seemed like her alcohol consumption had increased and he had her getting out of her comfort zone. Now she was planning her sister’s wedding while crushing on the MOH. What the hell was wrong with her?
Ugh, get a grip, Penelope. He’s just a guy you happened to lose your virginity to and are now obligated to hang out with.
Not that she was complaining really. She was sure that after the wedding she would never have to see Jack. Except for maybe the occasional visit he’d make if Celeste wanted to hang out. And then there were holidays and birthdays. She shook her head. He’d most likely visit his own family and she was overreacting. Or perhaps it was wishful thinking.
* * *
“Hey! Earth to Penelope! What’s up, it looked like I lost you there for a second,” Jack asked Penelope, concern furrowing his brow.
“Sorry, I was thinking about something. I guess the... uhh... penis ring
s are a good idea,” she replied halfheartedly.
Jack didn’t really understand the penis obsession for bachelorette parties. When it came to the number of sex partners, most women still believed in never confessing to how many dicks they had sucked. When bachelorette parties came along... boy, they went all out. No stone unturned. No cock... un-sucked?
He turned back to Penelope, who was sifting through the penis-shaped party favors. She looked distracted, and that didn’t sit well with him at all. This was supposed to be fun! He had wanted to take her out of her comfort zone, to make her do something she would never do herself. Why he even cared, he had no idea. Maybe it just made him feel better helping a lost soul. The woman was twenty-six years old for crying out loud, and he had been her first and only sex partner! She needed all the help she could get. And if by some chance he got lucky with her a second time, it was just a bonus. Not that he was wishing for it.
“What about these penis straws? They’d be great for the decor,” Penelope stated, scrunching up her nose in doubt as she looked at the packaged dick straws. “Maybe I’ll get them in another color. They look kind of gross in flesh.” She was mumbling to herself again.
“Speaking of colored dicks. You never did tell me the color of your vibe?”
That got her attention. Penelope looked up at him in shock, her face a pretty pink color. And then, in an instant, her expression became serious and she shushed him.
“Instead of asking questions that are none of your business, make yourself useful and carry these,” she replied, throwing the bag of straws, purposely aiming at his face. His football player reflexes kicked in, and he caught the bag.
“What about the blow-up doll?”
“What about it?” Penelope asked.
“Are you planning on taking one?”
“What’s the use? The bridesmaids are insisting on hiring strippers for the party.”
Jack stopped in his tracks. “Wait, what? Strippers?”
Penelope nodded. “Yep. They’ve been talking about going to visit some high-class stripper joint in Hollywood on Friday just in time for the party next week.”
