by Jane Matisse
“How are your friends doing? Haven’t seen those meatheads in ages,” Amanda asked, changing the subject.
They’d been high school sweethearts, but when it was time for them to start college, Amanda had decided to study close to home while Jack went off to New York on a football scholarship. They’d separated mutually, but there were always lingering expectations from both sets of parents that they would one day come back together. Amanda was ready for commitment, ready to start her own family, just not with Jack. And Jack wasn’t ready for any kind of commitment.
“They’re doing great. Same old goofballs.”
“Still chasing as many skirts as they can?”
Jack lightly chuckled. “You know them. Always ready to have a good time.”
“And you?” she asked, looking at him intently.
He didn’t answer, silence sucking up the oxygen surrounding them.
“What’s wrong? Something’s changed with you. This past week you’ve been as responsive as a statue. And don’t deny it because I know exactly when you lie to me.”
“Nothing. Honest. Work’s just been a bit more demanding than usual is all.”
Amanda sighed. “I don’t know. It wasn’t your job you kept talking about when we had dinner with your parents.” She casually flipped through the pages of the airplane magazine.
Jack stared at her, confused.
“Does the name Penelope mean anything to you?” she inquired nonchalantly, but Jack knew better than to believe her lack of curiosity.
He sputtered in response, casually opening a packet of pretzels and stuffing one in his mouth. He hated the taste of the salty twigs, but he needed something to keep him occupied. “She’s Celeste’s sister.” He shrugged. “There’s nothing special about her.” He stopped a flight attendant to quickly ask for a Jack and Coke.
“So she means nothing to you? I think that’s bull,” Amanda was quick to reply, then opened her laptop and got busy typing.
Jack internally sighed in relief. He was in no mood to explain anything to anyone, especially someone who’d known him since his childhood. He thought his visit to his parents would help him forget his inner turmoil, but all it did was make him think of Penelope more. He just hoped the damned wedding would be over soon so those brown eyes would stop tormenting him.
* * *
“I’m coming! I’ve got the money right he—” Penelope stopped midsentence once she opened the front door and saw who was standing before her.
Jack wanted the earth to open below his feet and swallow him whole. As much as he loved the sight of her, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with the tension already building up between them. It wasn’t the good kind either. Standing face-to-face with Penelope after the way he had left things between them a week ago just reminded him of how much of an ass he was. He knew he’d fucked up when he’d slept with her the second time. She was the kind of girl who needed security and commitment—two things Jack couldn’t give her. He straightened and pasted a smile on his face.
“Hey, Penny. Your sister home?” He could see a battle of emotions flash through her eyes before she faked a smile of her own.
“Umm, yeah. She’s in the kitchen. Sorry, I thought you were takeout. Come in.” She opened the door a little wider, and Jack had begun to step inside when he remembered he wasn’t alone.
He gestured for Amanda, who was standing behind him, to walk inside the house. He noticed Penelope’s eyes widen as she took in Amanda’s appearance. He would be the first to admit that Amanda was a bombshell, a complete ten. Beautiful body with perfect proportions, big baby blue eyes, golden hair that naturally fell in ringlets over her shoulders, and full, pink lips with a beauty mark just above the right side of her upper lip.
Jack noted the analytical look in Penelope’s eyes, as she was no doubt making a mental note of everything Amanda had that she didn’t. Something tugged at Jack’s heart, and he had the sudden urge to take Penelope in his arms to tell her how attractive he found her. Unfortunately, his own damned male stubbornness forced him to stay put.
“Hello, nice to meet you. I’m Amanda.” The blonde beauty shook hands with Penelope. “Jack’s told me so much about y— Ouch!”
Jack had only meant to place his foot on the corner of hers and warn her with slight pressure. Unfortunately, his foot slipped and he ended up stomping on her.
“The wedding,” he finished for her. “Sorry about that. My foot’s clumsy,” he said, sending Amanda a pleading look for silence.
“Yeah, your big fat foot,” she replied, giving him the stink eye.
Well, at least she’d taken the hint.
“I thought I heard you!” Celeste exclaimed, walking out of the kitchen. She held a wooden spoon in her hand and an apron was wrapped around her torso. “How was your trip?”
“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Jack joked, taking in her ensemble and pulling her into a hug. He was trying his best to avoid Penelope’s stare. “What are you doing in the kitchen? You don’t cook.”
“Penny’s helping me bake an apple crumble pie from scratch. And by helping I mean she puts everything together while I stir the ingredients,” Celeste replied, giving Jack a cheeky grin.
Jack laughed softly, turning to Amanda. “Celeste, this is Amanda. You remember I told you about her before.” His eyes darted briefly toward Penelope. Her eyes were downcast, and she was nervously wringing the towel in her hands.
“So you’re the famous Amanda! I’ve heard so much about you.” Celeste pulled her into a hug. “Does this mean you guys are dating again? Jack, she’s pretty! You guys would make beautiful babies.” Before he even had a chance to correct her, Celeste was already chatting up a storm with Amanda and pulling her toward the couch. “Come, sit!”
Jack tried his best to keep himself from looking back at Penelope as he walked past her when all he wanted to do was take her into his arms and kiss her frown away. But he couldn’t do it. He knew he wasn’t cut out for a long-term romantic relationship. He had too many goals and something as definite as love didn’t fit in his agenda.
“Hey Celeste, I’m just gonna finish up in the kitchen. It was nice meeting you, Amanda.” Penelope spoke up, purposely choosing not to meet his gaze.
“You as well. We should definitely plan a girls’ night before I leave,” Amanda responded, a friendly smile on her face. Penelope smiled and walked back into the kitchen.
“Did you guys want anything to drink?” A few minutes later, Celeste was walking out of the kitchen with two glasses of lemonade in her hands.
“Congratulations on your engagement, and thank you for inviting me to the wedding,” Amanda gratefully said, taking a sip of her lemonade.
“Of course! Any friend of Jack’s is a friend of mine. And I’ll be expecting a wedding invitation to yours whenever that may be. We just need to give Jack a boost,” Celeste teased, winking toward Jack.
There was a sound of glass shattering in the kitchen.
Celeste turned her attention to the sound. “Is everything okay, Penny?”
A few moments later, Penelope walked out of the kitchen, her purse over her shoulder and a rag clutched in her hand. Jack noticed the rims of her eyes held a hint of red.
“I’m fine. I just accidentally broke a cup, but I cleaned the mess up,” she said breathlessly. “Uh, the pie is in the oven. The timer is set. So when it goes off be sure to take it out. Enjoy.” She walked toward the front door, keeping a frozen smile on her face.
“You’re not staying?” Celeste asked, crestfallen.
“Uhh, no. I have to meet up with a... friend and I’m late. See you all later.”
Before anyone else could say another word, she left, closing the door behind her. Lord knew how much Jack wanted to run after her, but he sat still, staring a hole through the front door.
* * *
Penelope didn’t stop until she was inside her car. Then she cried. She let all her tears fall. When had her life become such a soap opera? And the w
orst part of it all was the indifference in Jack’s demeanor. He hadn’t cared that he’d slept with her, made her think he felt something a little deeper than just the physical, and then tossed her aside as he went out with his potential future fiancée. What made things even worse was the fact that he had just let Celeste talk about their relationship with Penelope within earshot.
The low-life bastard!
She took a look at her bloody hand and the tears threatened to come down again, but she resisted. Her phone vibrated and she looked at the text. The smile on her face couldn’t have come at a better time. She turned the key in the ignition and stepped on the gas.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Is it difficult to be honest? I mean, why do so many people lie? I’m not talking about little white lies like saying you only have ten dollars in your pocket when you really have twenty. I mean the kind of lies that could alter a person’s life. The kind of lies that could make a person fall in love with you, while you’re still attached to another. I never wanted to play in the relationship game, yet somehow I got myself into this mess.
DIARY OF A WALLFLOWER: Entry 179
“What do you guys think of this one?” Celeste held up the wedding lasso to use during the ceremony.
Penelope was concentrating on a white rosary in a glass display while Jack was busy looking at Penelope. It wasn’t until Bryan elbowed him in the ribs that he turned his attention to Celeste.
“Huh?”
Celeste released an exasperated sigh. “What is wrong with you guys? It’s like we’re making arrangements for a funeral. My wedding is in two weeks, and I have been the most patient bride! What is going on?”
Penelope forced a laugh through her throat, Jack noticed. Her smile was too wide and didn’t reach her eyes.
“Nothing’s wrong, Cel. I just can’t believe you’re getting married is all.” She walked up to Celeste and placed a kiss on her forehead. Then, without saying a word, she walked out of the church’s gift shop.
Jack sprang into action and started to go after her. “I’m just gonna go see if she needs anything.” He walked out of the gift shop and searched the courtyard for Penelope until he spotted her sitting on a bench, facing a beautiful display of the Virgin Mary. He couldn’t help but notice how very exhausted she looked. There was a lingering sadness surrounding her, and he wasn’t sure how to respond.
“Hey, you. You okay?” He sat next to her, facing the statue.
“I’m fine. Just needed a moment,” she replied, staring ahead.
“Hey, just because your sister’s getting married doesn’t mean you’ll grow apart. If anything, the day she and Bryan have a kid, she’s going to need you more than ever,” Jack explained, tentatively placing his hand over hers. He was grateful when she didn’t recoil from his touch.
They sat in silence for a few moments before either of them spoke.
“I’m sorry,” they both said at the same time, then awkwardly chuckled.
“You first,” Penelope offered.
Jack cleared his throat before speaking up. “I’m sorry I was such an ass. I slept with you and left you without trying to resolve anything. It was wrong of me. You deserved better, and I’m obviously not that for you.”
Penelope was shaking her head even before he had a chance to finish. “I’m sorry for purposely trying to make you feel guilty. I knew what we were doing involved no strings. We’re good as friends. I like us that way.” She offered a friendly smile.
Jack felt his smile was a little too forced. “Yeah, I do too.” It burned his throat to say the words. He didn’t know what it was that had him so hung up on Penelope. He had come to care for the short, fiery book lover, who went about her life trying to suppress how she really felt. He turned to look at the Virgin Mary and scowled. “Kind of weird we’re talking about fornication in front of Mary. I feel like we might be punished.”
Penelope laughed. “I think she understands.”
Jack chuckled, enjoying the slight change in her demeanor. Then he grew serious again. “I’m sorry we haven’t had a chance to talk. I came back from my trip two days ago, and we didn’t get a chance to set things right.”
“It’s okay. You’ve been busy with your girlfriend and—”
“Amanda’s not my—”
“There you are!” Celeste exclaimed as she caught up with them, Bryan right behind her.
“You found us,” Jack said as enthusiastically as he could, but to his ears his voice sounded annoyed. He loved Celeste, but sometimes she had the most awful timing.
“So, I just got off the phone with Nick,” she started.
“Who’s Nick?” Jack asked, confused.
“Oh, that’s right! You haven’t met Nick. He’s Penelope’s friend from college. Although, I always suspected them of being a co—”
“Since when do you talk to Nick?” Penelope interrupted, a little alarmed, which made Jack suspicious.
“Since he gave me his number the day I ran into you guys shopping for groceries for his grandma.”
“And why were you talking to him?”
“Will you guys be free this weekend?” Celeste responded with a question of her own.
“Yes?” Penelope looked unsure. Whatever Celeste had planned was not about to be half-assed.
“Jack?” She looked at him. He merely nodded.
“I was wondering if we could take a little break from this wedding madness and head out to Lake Tahoe this weekend.”
“And who’s going on this trip?” Jack asked, a little surprised.
“Obviously us four, Nick, and Amanda. They agreed to go, although I didn’t really give them a choice.” She grinned.
“Oh, you didn’t have to tell us that,” Penelope sarcastically replied. “And if I refused to go?”
“I’d guilt you by saying I kind of already made the reservations,” Celeste responded, smiling sheepishly.
“Geez, you’re just as pushy as Mom.”
“And with very good reason,” she responded in Spanish.
“Good luck with this one, Bryan,” Jack teased.
Bryan merely shrugged, a small smile on his lips.
“Smart bastard,” Jack murmured.
* * *
“Why didn’t you just tell her that you couldn’t go?” Penelope asked Nick, reluctantly packing the last few things she was going to take. Autumn weather at the lake tended to be cold, and warm clothes were a necessity.
“I thought it would be rude,” Nick responded, picking up a pair of black lacy underwear from the floor and giving Penelope a knowing look. “You should plan to wear a baby doll nightie when you’re there. Might get Jack’s attention,” he teased.
Penelope snatched the panties from his hand and smacked him with them. “Mira, Nicolas. Don’t try to get on my bad side today, or I probably won’t speak to you for the rest of the trip,” Penelope replied, sealing her luggage.
But Nick wasn’t listening to her. He was too busy pacing the room, deep in thought.
“You know, I could help you,” he started.
Penelope’s eyebrow went up. “Help me with what?” she asked, completely confused.
“Get Jack jealous.” He grinned.
Realization dawned on Penelope. “Oh, no. Nick, I’m tired. If there’s one thing I’ve hated about people, it’s the ridiculous games they play when it comes to relationships. Besides, he looks very much in love with his high school sweetheart,” she commented, trying not to sound bitter.
“Fine. I’ll do it by myself. And I won’t need your consent.”
Penelope sighed. “Leave it alone, Nick. The poor bastard doesn’t even like me that way.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
If you’re going to be put in temptation’s path, always walk the other way. Run far away, because if you get too close, you’re in danger of falling again. You are worthy of the best. You deserve the best. You deserve someone’s full love, not mere crumbs of affection. Be strong and the best will come to you.
DIARY OF A WALLFLOWER: Entry 181
Celeste took care of renting a van for the trip, and all six of them left early on Friday morning. Her insistence on it being a group trip had made her refuse to hear anyone’s suggestion to take their own cars. Seven hours in a car filled with people seemed like a great idea to her. The trip to the lake house was uneventful. Celeste did most of the talking, Amanda and Nick got into a conversation, Bryan was driving, and Jack and Penelope were left brooding the whole ride there. When they finally got to the house, Penelope couldn’t believe how beautiful it looked. Maybe the weekend wouldn’t be so bad after all.
“There are three bedrooms, so choose your roommate and we meet on the porch for drinks!” Celeste explained.
“Let’s go, babe,” Nick said louder than he needed, and he carelessly threw an arm over Penelope’s shoulder. She silently sent him a death glare, trying to warn him, but he merely smiled a little brighter and pulled her closer.
She noticed Jack looking their way, and at first glance, his look held no emotion. He almost looked bored, except his jaw was clenched a little too tight.
Interesting.
They took their luggage to the room upstairs, the lake clearly visible from the balcony.
“Beautiful, isn’t it? Now aren’t you happy you came?” Nick smiled as he threw himself on top of the king-sized canopied bed.
Just as soon as she’d forgotten her anger, it came back full force. She leaned over and caught Nick unawares, punching him in the arm. “What was that all about?” she asked. “I thought I told you there would be no Operation Jealous Jack?”
“So, you didn’t want to do it, yet you gave it a name?”
Penelope snorted in good humor and began unpacking her baggage, placing her clothes in the empty drawers. She was so focused on the task, she didn’t notice Nick coming up behind her, until he drew her back close to his chest. He softly pressed his lips to her neck just as she heard her sister through the bedroom door. She turned around just in time to see Jack looking through the door from the hallway, his face stoic. He gave her a small nod of acknowledgement and continued down the hallway.
