by Pamela Toth
Maybe a microwave dinner and an early night wasn’t a bad idea. She needed to keep her priorities straight.
Despite what had happened with Chris, they weren’t exclusive, weren’t in a relationship and, technically, they weren’t even seeing each other.
For all she knew, she realized with a tight feeling in her midsection, he might be seeing someone else…or a whole flock of someones, although Zoe hadn’t heard any rumors to that effect on the grapevine.
What she needed to remember was that she had no idea just what, if anything, was going on with him except that it was, by necessity, only temporary. From the time she first arrived in Thunder Canyon, with its too-cutesy Western theme and small-town minds, she had been counting the months until she could kick the dust from her shoes and move on with her life.
On the other hand, Chris’s life was rooted here. No question of that. If things had been different and a choice needed to be made, he would hate L.A. Worse yet, she didn’t think he could survive there. For all his good qualities, he didn’t have the savvy or the survival skills—the L.A. edge.
Out of the sack, sweet and sexy Dr. Taylor just wasn’t aggressive enough—not for Beverly Hills and certainly not for Zoe. Not long-term.
She was halfway home, feeling better for having worked it all out in her head, when her phone finally rang. She glanced at the screen and pulled over to the curb, feeling a spurt of excitement despite the direction of her thoughts.
“Hey, how was your day?” Chris asked.
“Exhausting,” she replied around a huge yawn. “I think I’m crashing after the adrenaline rush.” She was tempted to tell him about Anna, then decided to save it until she saw him in person. “How about you?”
“If I think about why you’re tired, I’ll drive off the road.” His voice had gotten husky, sending heat spiraling through her. “Look, I just got out of a meeting with a sales rep and I forgot that I’d already promised to have dinner with Faith and Cam.”
Zoe knew a brush-off when she heard one, but she was still disappointed.
“That’s okay—” she began.
“It’s nothing fancy,” he continued, “just casual dress at The Hitching Post. Come with us? I want to see you.”
Another yawn overtook her before she could answer. Priorities, she reminded herself, ignoring temptation. She had a full schedule tomorrow.
“I can’t.” She didn’t bother to hide her regret. “I’ve got some book work.”
“What if I stop in after you’ve had a chance to study?” he suggested. “I can test you.”
She knew what would happen if he showed up. What she needed was distance, not a repeat of the night before.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said as she watched the passing cars through her window. “Rain check?”
“Sure,” he said agreeably. “Maybe later in the week would be better for both of us.”
She frowned, disappointed that he had given up so easily, then shook her head at her own ambivalence. What did she want from him? That was something she needed to figure out.
“Thanks for understanding,” she said quietly. “Tell your sister and her fiancé hello for me.”
“Will do. Get some rest.”
Before she could decide whether to tell him about Anna after all, he rang off, leaving her to stare at the rain hitting her windshield. As she pulled back onto the street, she wondered why she felt so frustrated. Hadn’t she gotten exactly what she’d wanted?
During work the next day, Zoe kept her personal thoughts at bay. At midmorning, she checked the sutures from a patient’s hysterectomy. A knock on the door caused both her and Beth Ann, the nurse assisting her, to look up as Dr. Chester poked her head into the room.
“Excuse me, Dr. Hart,” she said. “Would you please come see me when you’re done here? I’ll be in my office.”
“Of course,” Zoe replied, her stomach dropping like a stone at the sight of her superior’s serious expression.
“Sorry for the interruption,” Dr. Chester told the patient, a woman in her forties.
After the doctor left, Zoe and Beth Ann, who was dressed as usual in a smock printed with teddy bears, exchanged significant glances. Beth shrugged. Although she couldn’t very well comment in front of a patient, her wink said, No big deal.
“I hope you aren’t in trouble,” the patient said, her expression apprehensive.
Zoe made a notation on her chart before responding. “I certainly hope not.” She kept her tone even, wishing she could be as confident as she must sound. “You’re healing nicely and the scar will fade in time.”
After a brief exchange, Zoe wrote up a prescription for a mild painkiller. Excusing herself, she left Beth Ann to finish up.
As Zoe walked down the hallway with its pastel wallpaper border, she reviewed the possible reasons for her summons. Had she overlooked something or made a mistake in procedure? Misdiagnosed a patient’s condition?
Maybe that cranky old Mrs. Morel had complained about Zoe’s attitude. The woman certainly hadn’t been happy when Zoe had advised her to quit smoking if she intended staying on the Pill. Or perhaps the young girl Zoe had treated a couple of days ago—Wanda something—had taken offense to Zoe’s lecture about her high-risk activities. If Wanda—no, Wendy, that was it—didn’t make some changes, she was headed straight toward contraction of an STD or HIV.
Zoe hesitated outside Dr. Chester’s office, sucking in a deep breath before she knocked on the door frame.
The director glanced up over the top of her reading glasses, then made a welcoming motion. “Come in, Doctor.” She flipped a file folder closed. “Sit, please.”
Obediently Zoe took the chair facing the desk, crossing her legs as she tried to interpret the other doctor’s smile.
“Tea?” Dr. Chester offered. On a small side table, a pot of water sat on a hot plate next to a woven basket filled with herbal tea bags.
Zoe’s system was already humming along on caffeine. “No, thanks.”
She waited, braced for the worst, as the doctor removed her glasses and let them dangle from a beaded cord around her neck.
“How are you adjusting to small-town life here in Thunder Canyon?” Dr. Chester asked, folding her hands. “It must seem very different from what you’re used to. Have you settled in all right?”
Zoe admired her supervisor a great deal, but until now their conversations had always been about work. “I’m doing fine, thank you.” Mind racing, she kept a mildly inquisitive expression plastered on her face. When she realized that she had allowed her hands to curl into fists, she flattened them against the fabric of her skirt.
The director seemed to be waiting for more. “It’s a nice town,” Zoe added lamely.
“Not like California, though,” Dr. Chester said with a nod of understanding. “You must miss your family.”
Zoe searched for potential land mines. An affirmative reply might make her appear too dependent, but no seemed too emotionally detached.
“Sometimes, I guess.” Indecisive, unable to make decisions. Great. “They’re pretty busy, but my laptop and e-mail make it easy to stay in touch,” Zoe added.
For a long moment, Dr. Chester studied her silently while the nerves in Zoe’s stomach jumped like fish in a net and she struggled not to fidget. Finally the older woman sat back in her chair with her deeply tanned hands folded in front of her. They were unadorned except for the turquoise ring she always wore.
“Have you thought about what you might do once you’ve completed your residency?” she asked.
It took Zoe a moment to click over from the dire possibilities circling her brain like tiny thunderclouds. Hastily she bit back the first reply that came to mind, Beat feet back to L.A., and scrambled for something a bit more diplomatic.
“I haven’t planned that far ahead,” she said, trying to be tactful.
“Have you given any thought to remaining here in Thunder Canyon?” Dr. Chester asked. “This town is in desperate need o
f more physicians who specialize in women’s health.”
Zoe swallowed a bubble of incredulous laughter. “I hadn’t really considered it.”
“Of course it’s no secret that Dr. Codwell is getting older,” Dr. Chester continued. “If he should decide to slow down, he might need an associate to share his patient load.” Absently she touched her earring, a small silver hoop. “This is in no way official, you understand. He’s not said anything to me.”
“I see.” Zoe was reluctant to say more in case she had misunderstood Dr. Chester’s intention. Maybe she was just making conversation. Besides, Zoe had never seriously considered practicing medicine anywhere except L.A. Somehow she couldn’t envision her parents bragging about their daughter, the Montana doctor.
“The gold strike is attracting a lot of people to this area, including women who must have access to specialized health care,” Dr. Chester continued. “When the new ski resort opens, the need will become critical. We’ll need a facility just for women.”
Zoe knew she should say something. “I suppose that’s true.” God, she sounded like an idiot! Clearing her throat, she tried again. “Some of the patients I see could go to a women’s clinic instead. It would certainly ease our patient load.”
“So you see, there will be plenty of career opportunities in our community for bright young doctors.” Dr. Chester’s dark eyes seemed to twinkle as she leaned forward. “I hope you’ll think about staying on. According to the reports I’ve been getting, your people skills have come a long way since you first arrived.”
Zoe supposed that she owed Chris for bringing the weakness to her attention. “Thank you,” she said, flustered by the praise. “Your opinion means a great deal to me.”
“I wouldn’t have the slightest problem in giving you a glowing recommendation.” Dr. Chester tapped her own chest with her fingertips. “You have a good heart, but you’re afraid to believe in yourself. Until you do, Doctor, true satisfaction will elude you, and not just in your career.” A shadow crossed her face. “Believe me, I speak from experience.”
Zoe wasn’t sure how to respond. “You’ve given me a lot to think about,” she said finally.
With a nod, the other doctor slipped her glasses back on, signaling an end to their conversation. “I won’t keep you any longer. Just remember that words can only hurt you if you let them.”
After Zoe had thanked her again, she excused herself and left the office, puzzling over Dr. Chester’s parting comment as she headed back to the main station. As she passed the supply room, Beth Ann came out with an armload of fresh blankets and towels.
“Is everything okay?” she asked softly, her eyes filled with concern.
“Yes, everything is fine,” Zoe replied. “Couldn’t be better.” A good recommendation from Dr. Chester would be crucial, especially since Zoe had no clue as to what Chris might do.
“Well, it’s nice to see you smiling,” Beth Ann replied. “Good luck with, um, with everything.” Cheeks turning pink as though she was flustered, she hugged the stack of blankets tighter. “I’d better, um, deliver these.” Turning abruptly, she hurried away.
Zoe stared after her, slightly puzzled. No matter, it was time for lunch and she had promised to return a book that she’d borrowed from Vadivu.
Zoe scanned the cafeteria when she walked in, but it didn’t surprise her to not see Chris. Whenever the E.R. got busy, the staff took their breaks on the fly.
Zoe grabbed a tray and got in line behind a trio of nurses whose whispered comments were punctuated with giggles. They reminded her of a high school clique. When one of them glanced around, her eyes widened.
“Hi, Dr. Hart!” she exclaimed with a friendly smile.
Feeling guilty for her thoughts, Zoe chatted with the nurses briefly as she selected a salad. After she had paid the cashier, she headed for her regular table.
When she did run into Chris, it would be hard to act as though nothing had changed between them. She would have to take her cue from him and to trust his discretion, because the last thing she would want was to be the subject of gossip and speculation.
When she got to the residents’ table, it was nearly full. Marty glanced up and saw her, clearing his throat loudly. Immediately the conversation died as though a switch had been thrown. Except for a couple of mumbled greetings, everyone at the table began eating as though this were their last meal.
Marty, however, gave her a thumbs-up gesture.
“Way to go, girl,” he said as Zoe set down her tray and dragged over a chair from a nearby table.
“Shh!” Barb smothered a giggle as she elbowed him.
Marty snorted in response, still looking up at Zoe.
“What are you talking about?” she asked, mildly curious as she sat down. “What’s so funny?”
He shoved a forkful of spaghetti into his mouth and rolled his eyes. “Oh, nothing.”
Feeling like an intruder, Zoe managed a stiff smile as she handed Vadivu her book.
“They’re just being juvenile,” Vadivu said sharply. “Pay no attention to them.”
Zoe picked up her fork and poked at her salad, wishing she could say something about her meeting with Dr. Chester. However, she wasn’t willing to risk starting a rumor about Dr. Codwell’s retirement. The hospital grapevine was always churning out rumors about who was getting fired or divorced, or pregnant or sleeping with—
Zoe froze, her fork dropping from her nerveless fingers. It clattered onto the table, but she managed to keep it from falling to the floor. Surely even a one-horse town like this was beyond being scandalized by the idea of two unattached adults…
Of course it wasn’t, if one of the suspected couple was the very attractive, very available head of the E.R. and the other was sometimes referred to as an “ice queen.”
Barb looked up past Zoe’s shoulder with a big smile. “Well, hello, Dr. Taylor,” she drawled, her voice dripping with honey. “How are you today?”
Zoe struggled to keep her feelings hidden. Seeing him again, she experienced the same awareness as before, only now it was a hundred times stronger. Her body seemed to vibrate with it and her cheeks flamed.
“Doctors,” he replied breezily as he looked around the table. His gaze seemed to linger on hers for an extra moment. “I trust that I’ll see some of you later down in the E.R.,” he added. “Enjoy your lunches.”
Zoe released the breath she’d been holding without knowing it and turned her attention back to the salad that had somehow lost its appeal. She had made a big mistake, she realized with an ache in her chest. Unless she wanted to jeopardize her future and become the subject of gossip here at the hospital, it was something that she couldn’t allow to happen again.
Barb leaned across the table toward Zoe.
“So,” Barb demanded, “are the rumors about you and Dr. Taylor true?”
“Dammit!” Chris growled under his breath, slamming the flat of his hand against the empty men’s room wall. He had meant to head Zoe off before she went to lunch in order to warn her about the speculation that was flying around about the two of them. Unfortunately a prospector with a self-inflicted gunshot wound had delayed him in the E.R. By the time he had finished digging a slug from the man’s leg, Zoe had already left the maternity wing.
Chris slapped the wall again with his hand. He would be better off using his head for a battering ram.
He didn’t care what people said about him. His position here was secure enough to weather a little whispering about his personal life. It was Zoe who would bear the brunt of the snickers. The two of them might as well have taken out a full-page ad in the weekly paper, the Thunder Canyon Nugget, to advertise what they had done.
Chris was toying with the idea of punching the wall with his fist when the door opened and a security guard he didn’t know walked into the rest room. He gave Chris a curious glance before going over to a urinal.
Chris figured it was a good time for him to leave. For the rest of the afternoon, the E.R. kept him b
usy with a steady stream of people needing attention, including eight puking kids with food poisoning from a local day care, an overweight hiker complaining of chest pain and a tourist with a ruptured appendix.
Once Chris thought he glimpsed the back of Zoe’s head by the triage station. He wanted desperately to talk with her, but by the time he was able to break away from a consult, she was gone.
At the end of the shift he looked out the window, but her car was gone from its earlier spot. He thought about calling her cell phone, but what he needed was to see her, to touch her and to bury his face in her sweet-smelling hair.
Then they needed to talk.
Chris changed out of his scrubs in the locker room and headed for her apartment, making one quick stop on the way. There was no sign of her car and no answer when he knocked on her door. Impatience building, he went back to his Beemer to wait her out.
It was full dark when Zoe turned down her street, still fuming over the way Barb had blindsided her at lunch. She had asked if the rumor was true that Chris’s truck had been parked in front of Zoe’s apartment until the wee hours. If Zoe’s innocent expression and her regretful denial sounded as phony as they felt to her while she cringed inside, she’d fooled no one.
After a few nods and shrugs, her lunch mates had dropped the subject—at least until Zoe had pushed aside her half-eaten salad. When she’d walked out of the cafeteria, the feeling of being stared at while her personal life was dissected by people she barely knew made her skin burn as though she had rolled naked in a patch of nettles.
On the front seat next to her now were a bag of groceries she hardly remembered buying, a scarf she would never wear and a pair of shoes with heels that could very possibly break her ankles. Perhaps she would send the scarf, with its image of the Rocky Mountains, to her mother.
It was a good thing Zoe had already come to a decision about Chris, because when she got to her apartment and parked her car, he was waiting for her—and he was holding a bunch of long-stemmed peach roses wrapped in green paper.
