by Leona Fox
“Ellen will find him. She always does,” Kelly said, and silence descended upon them.
The air was heavy with the sounds of their breathing and the longer the silence lasted the more crushing it became.
“Come and sit down,” Matthew said.
Kelly turned slowly, and tentatively made her way to sit beside him. He reached over and clasped her hand in his. It was warm and her skin was surprisingly soft. She looked at his kind eyes and his lips, those lips that sparked an inferno in her heart and yet she felt an intense sorrow inside her.
“I think we should talk,” he said. Kelly nodded, but remained silent.
“I...guess I'll go first. I've felt things have been tense between us and I'm not entirely sure why. I really enjoy spending time with you and I think we complement each other well. Being with you has made me feel happier than I've ever been. I never thought I could feel these things again and yet...something seems off. I don't know if it's something I have or have not done, but I know that there's something going on with you. I wish you'd tell me, because right now I feel like you're closing yourself off from me.”
He squeezed Kelly's hand and a wave of affection swept through her, but it quickly was replaced with a rapidly spreading anxiety. Kelly's mind screamed out and her entire body trembled with fear as the future seemed like an insurmountable wall and everything in her head was floating above her. She was trying to snatch at her feelings yet they always remained just out of her reach, as though a gust of wind was keeping them buoyant on the air.
Kelly pulled her hand away.
“What's wrong, Kelly?” Matthew asked, “I know it's been a long time since you've been in a relationship like this but there comes a point when that becomes an excuse, not a reason. I want to be with you and I want to be close with you but at the moment you're making it difficult. And I feel powerless because there's nothing I can do if you won't open up to me. There are so many things I want to say to you. I want to tell you I love you and I want to ask you to marry me but I can't. Can you please just tell me what you're feeling?”
His words seemed to echo in the distance and there was a ringing in Kelly's ears. She thought back to all her past relationships, all her past failures, and how she wished she was not still haunted by them. Sweat began prickling on her temples and her breathing became more difficult as her throat tightened. She rose, and stepped away from Matthew with her back to him. Her body shuddered with soft sobs.
“No,” she said.
Again, the deafening silence. Kelly felt so alone, and there was a chasm between her and Matthew. All her life she had struggled with giving that last, most precious part of herself to another person, even though sometimes she wanted to do so more than anything in the world. So she always had been alone. Even when she had been with somebody else, she had been alone.
“What do you mean no? You can't tell me how you feel? You can't even have the decency to do that?” Matthew's voice began rising as his emotions rushed to the surface.
“This is how it always goes,” Kelly said with a tone of resignation.
“What do you mean?”
“Love, relationships, they always end up like this.”
“Not if you trust me,” Matthew replied.
He moved from the couch and stood beside Kelly, tentatively reaching out for her arm to comfort her.
“Please, I just want to be with you. I just want to love you. We could be happy, you and me. Married and living together, it would be a dream come true.”
“I'm not ready for that,” she said, looking at him with liquid eyes, the raw, red rivers running around her colorful irises.
“I'm sorry, there are just...there are some things that hold me back. I want to love you, I do, and I enjoy being with you, but I'm not ready for all this. I know you must think I'm stupid and this probably doesn't make sense to you but I've never been able to give myself to another person, no matter how hard I try. And talk of marriage and the future...it makes me feel this pressure and my first instinct is to run.”
“Then fight the instinct. Stay with me, trust me, and we can get through it together. You know we make sense. Being together feels right. Are you really saying you want to turn your back on us?”
“I don't know...I don't know what I'm saying I just...I find it easier to be alone.”
“Is there anything I could say that would make you feel differently? Because right now I feel like I'm the only one here who actually is trying to make this work. Are you really that jaded that you'd just let this fall apart?”
Kelly couldn't bring herself to answer and Matthew threw up his hands in frustration. He paced around the room and leaned against the wall.
“I don't understand you at all. Things were going fine between us then we got to a certain point and you just shut down. I can't wrap my head around it. What changed? Are you just that afraid of love? Is that what it boils down to?”
But Kelly was unable to answer him for she did not know herself. All she knew was she felt terrible and wished things could be different, but there was something clawing at her inside, something preventing her from being close with him. She knew if she didn't say anything he would walk out the door and she would be left alone and desolate, and that it would be all her own doing. All she needed to do was say something, and yet she only could look at him with sad eyes. With a despondent shake of his head Matthew hung his head and walked out of the room. Kelly heard his footsteps thud on the stairs. There was still time. If she only could break free of her inner demons and go to him, she could make it right, but she was frozen on the spot.
She wrapped her arms around herself and cried. The tears splashed around her on the floor as she held onto herself and the secret that she held next to her heart so dearly, the secret she had not been able to tell anyone. It was the reason she was so alone, for if she ever revealed it she would be seen as a fraud and she could not bear the thought of people knowing the truth. It was painful, but it was the way it had to be. In the dark of the night she left Matthew's house and walked through the deliciously cool night air, trying to remember a time when she wasn't brought to her knees by her own inner demons.
While her best friend was in the throes of such distress, Ellen was awake in the darkness, gazing out at the forest, trying to guess Eric's next move. Would he simply hide there until people gave up or would he try making a run for it and leave town? The hunting party mostly had gone home. There were only a few people left, keeping watch through the night. Ellen was determined to stay with them for as long as her body allowed. She overheard many people saying it was hopeless, but this only spurred Ellen on.
She thought about the case as a whole, about Eric's entire movements in following Gary here and killing him in East Pender. These weren't the actions of a man filled with mindless rage. He was calculating. He knew he could disappear into the forest. His every movement was thought out and deliberate. Perhaps that was what he hoped people wouldn't think. Yes, it became clearer to her now. Somehow Gary had known Eric was following him. That's why he held the Napoleon figurine. Ellen smiled to herself for she knew the significance now. It was to show that Eric was a master strategist, she was sure of it. Far from being a man on the run it was likely he had anticipated this, and they were playing right into his hands.
Their greatest mistake would be thinking he was panicked and would act rashly. Now that Ellen knew that, she felt as though the advantage was hers again and, of course, she was no slouch in the strategy department either. Eric was playing a game with them, but it was a deadly game and Ellen hated to lose. She looked into the depths of the forest and smiled as she began formulating a plan of her own. Enjoy the night, she thought, for when the morning sun rose things would be different and justice would find the killer. With that, she left the night watchers to their duties and returned home with Scampy. Yet she did not get much sleep for her mind was rampant with thoughts.
Chapter 10
Ellen awoke feeling rested even though she had
enjoyed little sleep. The bright sun dawned and shed light all over the town. She saw it as a good omen for the day ahead, and her plan, which was sharp in her mind. However, before going to the forest to rendezvous with Andy and the rest of the hunting party, Ellen popped into the cafe only to find Kelly looking morose and miserable.
Instantly Ellen knew the previous night's talk with Matthew had not gone as planned. In a way, she felt responsible for the outcome as she had pushed them to talk about these things. Checking her watch, Ellen grimaced as she already was cutting it close but she had to spend at least a little time with Kelly. Scampy jumped into Kelly's lap and the woman fondled his head but it brought her little relief. She recounted the events of her and Matthew's discussion in a trembling voice that crackled with emotion. Yet there was a steely quality to her voice as well, as though she was trying to distance herself from the feelings inside to protect herself from the pain.
Ellen did not have much in the way of wisdom to offer. So she offered Kelly sympathy and told her everything would be alright, even though she didn't necessarily believe it herself.
“At least it's better that the truth is out,” Ellen said, and Kelly nodded in agreement. Ellen surreptitiously glanced at her watch again and Kelly noticed.
“How is the hunt going?” she asked idly.
“It's going,” Ellen said, “but I don't have to go if you need me to stay with you. I know you probably want to talk about what happened so...”
“It's not like my problems are more important than catching a murderer,” Kelly said. “Besides, I could use the distraction.”
“Well, I actually did come up with a plan last night,” Ellen said.
She leaned in close so nobody else could hear as she let Kelly in on the plan. When she finished describing it, Kelly leaned back and thought about it for a moment.
“Huh, that might actually work,” Kelly said.
“Do you want to come with us and see how it turns out?” Ellen offered.
Kelly looked out of the window and sighed, then hung her head as she gulped down the last dregs of coffee in her cup.
“I think I'll just stay here; I don't feel like doing all that much today. I'll probably do some painting later...maybe go for a walk...”
Ellen wished the murder hadn't happened and that she could stay with Kelly, but the matters at hand were pressing. She had a duty not only to Gary, and the other people directly affected by the crime, but also to the people of East Pender. They had to sleep soundly at night, without being afraid there was a killer still on the loose.
“I'm sorry I have to leave you,” Ellen said.
“Don't be, I know you've got to do this, and I don't really mind the idea of being alone right now,” Kelly replied.
“I'll be back once it's over, though. Then we can talk about this properly,” she said, rising.
Before she left she squeezed Kelly on the shoulder and hoped it reassured her. However, just before she stepped out of the door Kelly had one last question.
“Do you think I made the right decision?” she asked in a small voice.
Ellen exhaled deeply. The answer wasn't simple, and she didn't even know the right thing to say.
“You'll be okay,” she said, and hoped that was enough.
Despite Kelly's insistence that she couldn't take the final steps of falling in love with Matthew, Ellen suspected Kelly actually loved him deeply, and this initial numbness would not last long. Soon enough her friend would need her more than ever, and Ellen was not going to leave her wanting. Kelly nudged Scampy off her lap and Ellen made her way out of the cafe to the police station, where Andy was gearing up with the others. They greeted each other with a kiss.
“Sleep well?” she asked.
“Not at all, you?”
“Same,” and they grinned at each other, “but I did get struck by a thought last night. I know why Gary had a Napoleon figurine on him. He somehow knew Eric was after him and it was a clue for us.”
“Does Eric have a Napoleon complex or something?” Andy asked.
“No,” Ellen said, laughing.
“I think Gary was trying to tell us Eric is a clever strategist. Andy, don't you see? We're not the ones hunting him. He's planned for this. He's got the upper hand here and he's just waiting for us to make a mistake. He knows we probably think he's some crazed killer on the loose but he's not. He's probably planning his escape route now. But I have a different plan,” she said. Once again she pulled Andy aside so nobody could overhear them as she described her plan.
“Well, that's just beautiful,” he said, beaming.
He wrapped his arm around Ellen's shoulder as they walked through the station to prepare things for the big hunt.
As Ellen walked through the police station she saw how nervous people were. The hunting party was made up of officers and volunteers, but there was no clear line between those who were anxious and those who were not. Everyone was aware Eric had killed before and there was nothing to say he wouldn't kill again. Everyone here was putting their lives at stake for the greater good. It made Ellen swell with pride to think people would take this risk for the sake of the town’s safety. The main bulk of people moved out early in the morning but Andy and Ellen stayed behind to put her plan in motion. As she looked around at the volunteers, however, one of them stood out to her. He seemed to be observing everything carefully, especially Andy. It was a little unnerving, but Ellen brushed it away. Everyone was feeling tense, even her. Since she hadn't slept that well she probably just was imagining things.
The air was fresh and there was barely a cloud in the sky. Ellen looked out in the forest and imagined Eric Martin in there, probably feeling smug that he was pulling everyone's strings. The men and women who had given up their time to hunt for him were making their way through the forest, slowly tightening the net around him. Ellen smiled grimly as she watched the equipment needed for her plan arrive, and those who were left around her gasped in astonishment. Andy had done well to gather these things on such short notice. He had managed to get everything she needed, including the speakers and smoke machines. She, along with the others, placed these things in position and ran extension cords to the power sources. When turned on, the heavy machinery was loud.
Soon enough, smoke billowed out from the machines and wove its way into the forest, covering the lush greenness with its cloudy fog. From the speakers came the sound of crackling, roaring fire, and everyone began shouting in panic, as though their lives depended on it. Ellen and the others took smaller, portable smoke machines and speakers into the forest to make it seem as though the fire was spreading at an alarming rate. Those already in the forest, of course, knew nothing of what was happening. They began panicking, and their screams of terror were genuine.
The smoke curled and billowed through the forest and the sounds of splintering wood only grew louder. Outside of the forest they had made a bonfire and hoped this smell would travel through the air. Although the heat was not as strong as it would have been had there been a genuine wildfire, it was Ellen's hope that the hunters’ panic, coupled with Eric's own state of mind, would convince him it genuinely was happening. The hunters ran back in fright, stampeding back to safety as they feared the imaginary fire soon would envelope them in its flames. Ellen felt a little sorry for them when they returned to find out the whole thing had been a hoax, and immediately they turned back as the realization dawned on their faces. It was a risky gambit and Ellen only hoped it would pay off.
The wait for Eric to emerge from the forest was tense, but eventually they saw a figure make its way through the smoke. With bleary eyes and a loud cough Eric stumbled out, dressed in his camouflage gear. As soon as he saw everyone waiting for him he froze for an instant, the look of defeat etched on his face, before he turned to try running. But Andy was faster, his long limbs sprinted across the ground, and he slapped the cuffs on Eric, forcing him down on his knees.
“You're under arrest for the murder of Gary Speed,” Andy decla
red loudly so everyone could hear.
He read Eric his Miranda rights then hauled him to his feet, and dragged him back to the crowd, where Ellen was looking on with admiration.
“He deserved it. He broke up my marriage,” Eric spat as he was taken to the police van and shoved in the back.
At the mention of marriage Ellen's mind once again went to Kelly. Even though she just had been triumphant in catching a murderer she still was worried about her friend. She wondered if she had been responsible for the dissolution of Kelly and Matthew's relationship. Had she been too free with her advice? If she had left things alone would they still be together? It was a difficult thing to think about, and she only could hope she had done right by her friend. Soon enough, everyone crowded around Ellen, congratulating her on her ploy to lure Eric out of the forest as the van drove off, taking him where he belonged.
Then, a loud, slow clap could be heard. A man walked through the crowd, the same man Ellen had seen closely observing Andy earlier. He was tall, with an impossibly handsome face and a square jaw that showed the barest hints of stubble. His eyes were the brightest blue and he seemed to have an athletic frame. He walked with a confident swagger and wore a smirk that seemed as though it belonged there. He walked straight up to Andy and continued clapping.
“I'm impressed,” the mystery man said, and everyone looked at him in wonder. Andy stiffened for he did not enjoy surprises.
“I have to say,” the man continued, “I wasn't expecting much when I came here but this has been rather enlightening. Who knew that a small town like this could be so full of these dark deeds? I never expected to come and find that you were catching a murderer but, yes, this is very, very, impressive,” he said, placing his hands on his hips.
“Who are you?” Andy asked.
Ellen remained in place, ready to move to Andy's side if he needed her, but for now she watched with as much curiosity as anyone else.
