“You can tell he loves her. I see him watching her. He reminds me of daddy looking at mama,” Chelsea confided softly.
“You know, I’ve thought the same thing,” Jillian said. “The way he found her and all—well, I have to believe your mama and daddy are looking down on us and helping things along in the right direction. Trust me—white wedding or not, your aunt is way happier now.”
“I still feel sad about the dress,” Chelsea said, unable to get the image of her Aunt Teresa in it out of her mind.
Jillian hugged her again. “Of course you do, sweetheart. You’re fourteen and have the softest heart of anyone I know.”
“Should I remind Aunt Teresa that I have it and just let her sell it?” Chelsea asked.
“Nah,” Jillian said, pulling away. There was no reason to dash all the girl’s illusions. “Keep it here for now. She’ll remember it eventually. Let Shane get moved in completely and settle into a routine with you all first. You’re doing everyone a favor by holding it off for a little while.”
Chelsea nodded, trusting her Aunt Jillian and hoping the sadness she felt about it went away quickly.
***
Shane knocked on the door of the house, smiling as he thought he heard someone yelling for him to come in. When he tried the door, it swung easily open in his hand, so he stepped inside.
“Hello,” he called out as he walked past the mountain of boxes in the living room. Peering into the kitchen and dining room, he saw no one. But he heard whispering then, even though still no one came to meet him.
“Help—I’m lost,” he said loudly, stopping to listen again.
“Back here,” two voices yelled in unison.
Shane’s mouth twitched as he prowled the hallway peering into mostly empty rooms as he went. Finally in one of them, he found his father and Jessica lying on their backs in the middle of an unmade, freshly assembled bed rivaling the one he and Reesa currently shared. Packing and paper was strewn all over the floor.
“Boy, seeing you two in bed together brings back memories,” he said, reaching up to loosen the tie that felt like it was strangling him.
He remembered how embarrassed he had been when Jessica had crawled into bed with his depressed father in front of Michael and him. Of course, they had been fighting then, but his father had eventually caved, and Shane had seen the naked love on his face when he held her. That was the exact moment Shane had decided he wanted that same kind of love for himself. And thank the creator, he had found it.
“So where’s the stuff we’re moving?” Shane asked.
Will and Jessica both laughed at the question.
“I should have called you. We’re too tired now to move anything else today. You look tired too,” Will said, pushing up to a sitting position.
“I am,” Shane admitted, finally managing to get the tie loose enough to hang. “But things are going well, and I start my new schedule next week. I’ll be working mostly afternoons at the clinic. Mornings are my time with Reesa. I’m not willing to give them up right now.”
“Good for you,” Jessica said, groaning as she sat up. “Man, I feel a hundred years old after all that lifting.”
Will reached out and ran a hand over her back in comfort. “This is why I had the big garden tub replaced with a two person Jacuzzi model. It’s going to feel really great later.”
“I am so sorry I haven’t been able to help you all more,” Shane said, shoving hands in pockets.
“Perfectly understandable, son. Your new family is top priority,” Will said firmly. “How’s work?”
Shane smirked. “I’m adjusting to them. They’re adjusting to me. The part I hate is having less control of my time. I’m hoping to change that in a few months.”
“How are Reesa and the kids?” Jessica asked, sliding off the bed.
“Good,” Shane said cautiously. “Ditto what I said about work. We’re all getting used to each other. It’s actually feeling pretty normal already. I like being there. Now and again, it gets hairy, but I think the extra space in the garage is going to help.”
“Maybe when Zack goes away to school, you can move your office into his bedroom,” Will said. “That would be a little more private.”
Shane shoved hands in his pocket. “Actually, I’m hoping we move Sara into his room. I have plans for her room then.”
Will waited for the explanation, curious about the strange expression on his son’s face.
“I want a baby,” Shane said finally. “I’m hoping in a couple years, Reesa might want one too.”
Jessica looked at Shane and then at Will. “I bet you were just like that at his age.”
Will snorted. “Actually, Ellen was three months pregnant when we got married.”
“Oh good God—I’m so glad I’m past that possibility,” Jessica said, choking back the rest of her swearing and just letting herself laugh instead.
“What? I wanted her and the children. What’s wrong with that?” Will asked.
Shane grinned and bit his lip. “So you had to marry Mom because of Michael.”
“No,” Will said, irritated. “I did not have to do anything. I wanted to marry your mother. I couldn’t keep my hands off her, and her birth control didn’t work well enough. Michael was the result. The rest is history.”
Jessica stood by the bed, hands fisted on her hips. “Then when it comes right down to it, you really have no right at all to chastise Michael or Shane for their controlling attitudes with their wives.”
“Which is why I haven’t chastised either of them,” Will said, scooting off the bed to stand and glare at Jessica’s annoying smile. “The only chastising I did was to tell Shane to stop sleeping around until he’d found the right woman to take those chances with.”
“Done,” Shane yelled loudly, then burst out laughing at both their shocked faces. “I swear you two argue as much as Michael and Carrie. If Reesa and I did this, it would wear me out.”
“So, what? You never fight with her?” Jessica asked, tilting her head sideways. “How do you know what she really thinks about things?”
“Well, usually I just ask nicely and she tells me nicely,” Shane said, biting the inside of his mouth at the perplexed look on Jessica’s face. “It’s called intelligent conversation. No yelling required.”
“Sounds boring,” Jessica retorted, grinning at an unrepentant Shane, who she could tell was secretly hoping to embarrass them. “And you’re missing out on all the make-up sex.”
Shane laughed at the wicked look in her eyes. God, he loved feisty women. Apparently, it was something else he had in common with the other men in his family.
“Jessica,” Will protested. “Could we please not discuss our sex life with my son? He’s not Lipton. That’s bad enough.”
Jessica laughed low. “Sorry. My tongue got the better of me.”
“Save that energy for later,” Will said, teasing to soften his outburst, relieved when she laughed that husky laugh he loved and sent his nerve endings dancing. He looked back at Shane. “Sorry to bring you over here just to listen to two tired people fighting.”
“The entertainment was worth it,” Shane said, grinning. “But I think I’ll head home now. My bride awaits.”
“Speaking of brides. . .” Jessica began.
“Jessica—let it go. . .Ellen’s dealing with it,” Will said firmly.
Jessica let out a huffy breath. “Fine,” she said. “Let Ellen do it.”
“Something I need to know?” Shane asked.
“No,” Jessica said, retracting and regrouping her thoughts to keep from blurting it all out. “I’m having jitters. Your mother has got it all under control. I need to trust the system.”
Shane laughed. “You know, the JP ceremony Reesa and I had is starting to look better all the time. I thought you guys were going to get it done without all the crazy,” he said.
Jessica looked at Will and glared.
Will glared back. “No,” he said. “I’m just as tempted as you are, but
this is the time to be patient, not to act rashly. We talked about this at lunch. Ellen is going to take care of it.”
“Oh, alright,” Jessica said grumpily. She turned to Shane. “Go home. You’re tempting me too much.”
“Everything okay, Dad?” Shane asked, frowning.
“Everything is fine,” Will answered calmly. “Just wedding crazies. I’ll be glad when it’s done. Jessica asked me a dozen times to go to Tennessee, but no I didn’t want a quickie.”
“Hell, you never want a quickie for anything,” Jessica said, laughing.
It was so much like something Reesa often said to Shane that the flush crept up his neck and face before he could stop it. Damn, he was just like his father.
“Okay—that’s probably my cue to leave and get myself home,” Shane said, grinning over his embarrassment.
Seeing that she had managed to genuinely embarrass Shane with her too-honest comments, Jessica immediately felt guilty. Some mother figure she was turning out to be. She was too used to teasing her daughter.
“Shane—I’m sorry. I’m tired, edgy, and irritable, but that’s no reason to take it out on you,” Jessica said, walking over and hugging him. “I certainly didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
Shane hugged back. “I’ll live. Just answers more of my questions about what I inherited from Dad.”
“Okay,” Jessica said contritely, feeling a genuine flush climbing her own face then. “I’m blushing, so I think we’re even now.”
Laughing, Shane snagged her hand and dragged her down the hall as he got ready to leave. “I’m going to be the happiest man at your wedding. Except for maybe Michael.”
“What about your father?” Jessica asked on laugh.
Shane grinned and let her go as he practically ran to the door. “Dad will be too shocked that day to be happy. He’s going to be the happiest man a year from now when he realizes that marrying you was the best thing he ever did in his life.”
“Next to marrying Ellen and having you and your brother,” Jessica said with confidence, kissing his cheek. “And I love you all. I even like your mother, and yes you can put that in your damn book. You’re so smart, Dr. Larson. Someday you need to tell me what it’s like to be the man who gets everything he wants.”
“Ask me again after you and Dad are official. I’ll tell you then,” Shane said lightly, even though her words bothered him as he was climbing into his car.
Shane saw Jessica standing in the doorway and waving until he drove out of the cul-de-sac.
Driving away, Shane pondered her comment, wondering if it was true. Did he always get what he wanted?
He thought about his disappointments. He’d had his share. His parent’s divorce. His only long term girlfriend dumping him in college. Still, they were few and far outnumbered by the positive things. He would be the last person to deny that he walked around expecting life to go the way he wanted it to, and when it did, he was always grateful.
So did that make him selfish? Shane didn’t think so, but he’d never really thought about it that way before. Joe sometimes made snarky comments about his good luck. So did Michael. Up to now, he’d considered them teasing. Maybe they weren’t.
Certainly, he willed things into manifesting. He felt that when a person put all their energy and effort into something, it eventually happened. Like finding Reesa. And then finding a way to marry her.
When Luke had mentioned marrying her as a legal option for income, instinct had told him the judge might bring it up too. But wanting it badly had been the reason he had extracted a promise from Luke to intervene in court and let the judge know he and Reesa were seriously involved. That had been about following his instincts too.
Oh, he admitted he had rushed Reesa then. He also knew she wasn’t really in a good mental place yet about being his wife, but marrying her really had been the most expedient way to help her. He loved her. She loved him. That much he believed. What could be so wrong with what had happened?
Nothing, Shane decided. They were happy. They were getting along. The single fight they had was completely forgotten when she sought him out for comfort before the custody hearing.
But Jessica’s words made him wonder if he had been too busy doing things to pay attention to what was going on. Plus it was obvious that his family was keeping secrets from him, even if they were just about minor things like the wedding. Secrets bothered him, especially family secrets. They always had. It was one of the reasons he’d gone into psychology. It was damn hard for anyone to keep anything from him now, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t happen.
Suddenly Shane found himself wondering if Reesa was also holding back. Would she tell him if she was unhappy? Would Reesa admit it if she wished she had never married him? The thought that she was unhappy in their marriage was more distressing than Shane could ever have imagined it being. It also, unfortunately, had a ring of truth to it.
Reesa never used the word “wife” about herself, never called him husband. Hell, she never even teased him about rushing her. Was she truly repressing her genuine feelings and he hadn’t even noticed? Even Carrie had been more the blushing bride after her wedding. She and Michael still did some sort of mating dance around belonging to each other all the time.
Reesa hadn’t even changed her routine. She’d just absorbed Shane into the household and folded his laundry like he’d been there all along. That wasn’t the same thing as truly wanting him there though.
Damn it, Shane thought. He was going to have to ask her. He had to know for sure now and couldn’t live with wondering if she wanted him or not. He didn’t believe there was anyone else for either of them, but he also didn’t want a reluctant bride.
Before he gave up the condo to Brooke, Shane wanted to know the truth of their situation. He’d rather go back to living alone and date her, than live half a marriage with her not wanting to be his wife.
Chapter 4
“Since we’ve got a little time before everyone shows up, tell me again what it was like when you were married to my father,” Brooke ordered, lifting her wine to sip.
Jessica laughed. “I thought bachelorette parties were supposed to have strippers, not philosophers playing twenty questions about the past.”
Brooke laughed, sounding exactly like her mother even to her own ears. “Since when do you need dancing naked men to feel sexy. I’m sure Will has enough trouble keeping up with you as it is.”
“I assure you that Will Larson’s libido is more than a match for mine, especially when he’s in one of his caveman moods,” Jessica said, frowning at her glass.
“And since when is a sexy guy with a raging libido a problem that makes you frown?” Brooke said in disbelief, leaning her chin into her hand.
“No—it’s not a problem. I mean yes. I mean—oh, just hell, Brooke,” Jessica said finally, sipping her own wine to keep from saying anything more. “Will is perfect. Literally. I am so not equipped to be involved with a perfect man.”
“Wasn’t my father a perfect man?” Brooke asked, but not because she suspected it was true. She was just curious to discover the link between the only two men her mother had ever decided to marry.
Jessica’s laughter pealed out loudly in the still mostly empty restaurant and had heads turning to the two striking redheads sitting alone at a table. “No, your father was definitely not perfect, but he did have a lot of enthusiasm, as do most twenty-year-old men. Nathan was my first lover, but that’s not what I remember most about my short time with him.”
She looked away from Brooke’s gaze to give herself time to choose the right words to tell her daughter about the father she would never know any other way.
“What I remember most is that your father—Nathan—was very loving. He was one of those men who pets you tenderly while he says your name like it’s his favorite word in the whole world. Darling, you were the perfect art created between your father and me, created from a passion more wonderful than I can ever describe to you. Of course, it was frozen i
n time when he died so suddenly. And admittedly, I might not feel that way about today if he’d lived, and we’d been together all these years.”
Brooke reached out and lifted her mother’s hand, linking their fingers. “So tell me why you said yes to Will and not any of those other men over the years,” she demanded, watching the panic flit through her mother’s shifting gaze.
“I would gladly tell you, but I’m still not sure. Will wants to marry me—needs it even. He’s honorable down to the bone, and in his own way, every bit as loving as your father was. They are also the only two men in my life I ever let get by with what I think of as manhandling me,” Jessica said softly, thinking the word was inadequate for what it was like conceding to a man’s physical power over you. Still, a nodding Brooke seemed to understand exactly what she was saying.
Jessica looked off across the restaurant, lost for a moment in a debate she had never really settled inside herself. “Sometimes I still don’t want to get married, but then I think of putting a ring on Will’s finger, and it just seems. . .”
“Right?” Brooke prompted, when her mother seemed to be struggling.
“Yes—exactly. It just seems right, like it was meant to be. I know it’s usually the guy who has doubts about getting married, but you know how I am,” Jessica said, apology in her tone.
“I know you’re afraid,” Brooke said easily, watching her mother’s gaze go dark. “Now don’t get mad at me for speaking the truth. I think it’s reasonable. I know I joke about getting married, but honestly, I’ve never given it any real thought because I’ve never been that serious about a man. What you are doing with Will seems very brave to me, maybe even the bravest thing I’ve seen you do in years. Being a wife after years of not being one—well, I can see why you would be concerned about giving up your freedom.”
Jessica snorted. “Freedom? I gave up my freedom the day you taunted him into kissing me. I was okay before that, before I knew what could be between us. Resisting after that kiss was impossible. We couldn’t stay away from each other. The first time we had sex was in his damn truck. It was like being a teenager again.”
Commissioned In White (Art of Love Series) Page 4
