by Lucia Grace
“Then for your hair, keep it natural. Your makeup, too. I know you hate hearing it, but your gorgeous, babe. You don’t need to do anything to accentuate that. So keep the natural beach waves I kill myself to achieve and just do some mascara and gloss. Voila, you’ll be done and look perfect and have his tongue a-waggin’.” She winks when she’s done, and I roll my eyes but listen to her advice.
As I pull the dress from its hanger, Saylor busies herself with grabbing a couple products from my makeup bag on my dresser so I can strip down to my bra and panties and slip the dress on over my head.
When I let her know I’m decent, she turns around and gives a nod of approval. “Looks amazing, babe. Perfect. Now, let’s get you dolled up.” Her accompanying smile is genuine and warm.
I return it in kind, thinking of how lucky I am in this moment because I’ve never had a girlfriend to get ready with before. She gently squeezes my arm, as if reading my mind and letting me know she’s here now. She’ll never know how much that means to me.
Taking a second for the moment to pass, she then sets to work. First swiping on a couple layers of mascara to my lashes before dotting a tinted gloss onto my lips. Then she moves onto my hair, rubbing some product between her hands and running them through my long locks to keep the waves tamed.
Stepping back, she assesses her handy work. “I’m a fucking genius,” Saylor sasses as she tosses her cranberry hair and a hand to her hip. Her red-painted lips turning up into a devilish smirk.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I can’t help but kind of agree.
I look soft, not harsh and brash like I tend to look. My makeup is light, subtle and natural. You can barely tell I’m wearing any. The dress accentuates my slim waist and long legs but doesn’t highlight my deep curves in an obscene way.
For once I feel put together, pretty, but not on show, and I can’t help but hope Rhett feels the same when he sees me.
She’s killing me while she eats her ice cream. Totally unaware of the effect she has on me with the way her tongue licks at each spoonful and the way her lips wrap around the creamy fucking goodness.
We’ve been out for more than a couple hours now, the sun setting to the horizon letting me know night isn’t too far off. Meaning the end of our date isn’t too far off either. Despite it feeling like I just picked her up.
When I arrived at In Ruins and bounded up the stairs to my sister and Kennedy’s apartment above the bar, I thought my heart was gonna bust from my chest. And when Saylor opened the door and I saw Kennedy standing behind her, it nearly did.
I’ve never done this before. Dated. But it wasn’t that thought that had me tripping over myself before I got to the door. It was me trying to get there as fast as I could, to get my eyes on her. Take her in. Devour her, mentally of course.
And I wasn’t disappointed.
She was a vision, standing all shy and gorgeous as fuck in her pretty flower dress and flawless, natural beauty. Then when her mossy, pale green eyes lifted and locked on me, she smiled and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I’d do anything for this woman.
I’d lay it all out for her. My heart. My life. Everything.
I knew before; fuck, of course I did. That’s why I gave chase and haven’t let up on her. But picking her up for our first date—first of many if I have any say—and seeing her all perfect and vulnerable and silently strong solidified it all for me.
This girl, my angel, was here to save me.
As I stood in awe of all the beauty and good radiating from Kennedy, Saylor broke our staredown with her throaty chuckle and a “Have her home by nine sharp, son.” Kennedy giggled before hugging her while I settled for a chin lift and a murmured, “Smart ass,” as I placed a hand to the small of Kennedy’s back to guide her out.
After getting her safely buckled into my all-black Dodge Charger, I drove us the ten-minute drive to the restaurant. A small, intimate place that sits on the lake. Mountains and lush forest the backdrop. It’s quaint, nothing fancy, but the view makes it feel like a million bucks.
And Kennedy wasn’t disappointed, her shocked gasp of awe giving her away. She hadn’t known about this place, she told me. But was so glad I showed it to her.
So was I.
Now we’re at Sweet Dreams, the local shop for sweets in town, where we settled for dessert after dinner.
I clear my throat and shift in my seat, trying to ease the ache she’s been creating since I picked her up and the need she’s stoking as she eats her ice cream.
Why the fuck did I think this would be a good idea?
“So, what had you choosing Sunvale?” I figure the question is innocent enough and will help keep my mind on her and not what she can do with her mouth.
Taking one last spoonful of her chocolate ice cream, she uses a napkin to wipe her mouth before she answers. “When I left, I had no real destination in mind. I just knew I needed to leave, to make a change. For me.”
Her voice is soft and tender, a bit hurt, too, as she offers a small shrug.
“When I stopped for gas after about five hours, I went inside to pay and saw a stand full of postcards from area towns and cities. As soon as I saw the one for Sunvale, I felt this immediate connection…” She shakes her honey-brown head and ducks it down to hide her face. “I must sound insane.”
“No,” I rush to say as I put a large hand on one of hers atop the table between us. Coaxing her to lift her head. “You don’t at all. Keep going,” I encourage her. Wanting to know more about her.
She blushes a light shade of pink and nods her head as she lifts her eyes back to mine. “Okay,” she says quietly.
Swallowing delicately, she begins again. “The picture on the postcard…the sun on the horizon over the sprawling mountains and green fields looked so peaceful. Like it could become…home.” She clears her throat and fidgets a bit. Seeming a little uncomfortable. “Then with that thought a memory triggered in my mind. A good one from one of the earlier foster homes I was in. I had to be seven or eight, and I remembered seeing a postcard like it on the refrigerator and thinking the same thing. That it looked like a place I’d like to call home.”
My chest aches as the organ in there beats and pounds in agony for her. Because her soft, angelic voice sounds so lost and lonely. Something I can understand but wish we didn’t share.
“After that, I knew my destination, filled up my tank, and made my way into town. Hoping and praying I could make it work.”
“And here you are. Making it work.”
“And here I am,” she says through a smile. “Thanks to your sister and Gus. Without them, I don’t know what I’d be doing. If I’d even be here.”
That thought sends a whole new kind of ache to rock through me. Because now that I’ve seen her, talked to her, felt her up against me and in my arms, there’s no way I could let this woman go.
Not a damn chance in hell.
“Wanna take a walk?” I ask after a few minutes of heavy silence. Wanting to break it up, while making use of the last minutes of daylight and not wanting this date to end.
She smiles and nods her head gently. “I’d love to.”
We both stand at the same time, and after tossing our garbage, I snag her hand and wrap it snug in mine. I feel her lean into me, just slightly, as we walk, and I can’t help the grin that overtakes my face.
Comfortable silence surrounds us as we step down the sidewalk before veering off onto the single dock that juts out into the still water. As the sun descends behind the mountains and twilight threatens to break, we’re the only two soaking up the last moments of the day, and I couldn’t have planned it any better if I tried.
“This is so beautiful,” I hear Kennedy’s sweet voice whisper as she stands with her back to me, overlooking the water and scenery.
“It really fuckin’ is,” I reply. Just as softly. But I’m not talking about the water or mountains or trees. It’s all fucking her.
At my hushed response, she looks over her shoulder, an
other soft smile playing on her lush lips, because she knows I didn’t mean the view either.
Taking a chance, I step up behind her and wrap my arms loosely around her waist. Wanting nothing more than to wrap her up tight and never let go. But trying to remain a gentleman and not push her too far.
As my arms come around her and my head overtop hers, she lets out a small sigh, contented, and leans back into my chest. Barely hesitating, she lifts her small, soft hands to lay on top of my tattooed ones at her waist.
Nothing has ever felt so right than this girl in my arms. Nothing.
Minutes pass with the two of us just taking in the moment, the view, before Kennedy says, “I had a really great time tonight, Rhett. Thank you.”
Her tone nothing but tender and kind. True.
I breathe in deeply, taking another chance and pulling her in tight. Her back snug to my chest. Then leaning down, I press my lips to her temple before whispering, “Me too, angel. Me too.”
I’M THANKFUL SAYLOR’S WORKING BECAUSE when Rhett asked if I’d like to go back to his place after our walk to the lake, panic set in. And with her at work, it gave me the option to ask if he wouldn’t mind coming to our place instead. Because even though I didn’t want the night to end, I couldn’t go to his condo and be surrounded by everything him. I needed steady ground to make sure I kept my wits about me.
As best as I could anyway.
So here we are, back at my and Saylor’s apartment—alone—his presence owning every square inch of the space.
“I’ve missed this place.” Rhett’s deep baritone full of fondness and memories fills the air.
“Missed it?”
“Saylor didn’t tell you?”
I shake my head. “Tell me what?”
He chuckles and shakes his head in amusement. “Doesn’t surprise me. Probably thought you’d be running for the hills if she did.” My questioning stare has him continuing. “Say and I used to share this place. Did for damn near a decade.”
My eyes almost bug out of my head, I swear. I don’t know why I’m so shocked. It was just them two for so long, of course they’d have lived here.
I just never put two and two together.
“From that look on your face, it’s probably a good thing you didn’t know until now.”
He’s probably right. “Sorry, I just didn’t even think of that. But it makes sense.”
My hands fidget and my heart races; I’m so nervous and I don’t know why. Well, that’s a lie. Of course I know why, and the reason is standing there in front of me in all of his six-foot-four, tattooed, beyond handsome glory.
But I don’t want to be. Because as much as I’ve been fighting this, I want it just the same.
“Why don’t we sit?” He hedges as he takes a step toward me and the living room. “We can talk or just sit. To be honest, I don’t care; I’m just not ready to be away from you yet.”
And there go my nerves, or most of them anyway, letting my heart fall right into his hands.
“Okay,” I breathe out. “Would you like something to drink?” Trying to remember my manners.
Shaking his head, he answers, “I’m good, baby.” Gently grabbing my hand, he entwines our fingers and guides us to the leather love seat so we can sit side by side.
He’s done that often tonight, grabbed my hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I can’t deny it’s felt that way, too.
Sitting next to each other, with our hands joined and our thighs touching, Rhett angles toward me. “Tell me something about yourself. Anything.”
“What do you want to know?” I ask as his thumb runs along the inside of my wrist, raising goosebumps along my skin. The tender touch adding an extra beat to my heart, just for him.
My traitorous heart that’s done nothing but fall for this man at every turn, despite my protest.
When my eyes meet his, it looks like he wants to say something, ask something in particular. He even opens his mouth as if he’s going to but thinks better of it.
“Rhett…?” I inquire as nerves flutter and bounce, afraid of what he wants to say when his eyes leave mine to travel around the room.
Rubbing his free hand along his shortly-trimmed beard, he looks uneasy as his brown eyes lift to my green. His other hand still clasped tightly around mine. “Saylor, she…she told me a few things. Trying to warn me off of you, to keep you safe from my old ways.” He offers a half-smile through a chuckle that holds little humor.
I swallow down a huge gulp of air. “What did she tell you?” Worried that she’s let him in on my past but hoping that she wouldn’t break that trust.
“Just that your past wasn’t easy and that you were hurt. That’s it, baby. No details. Say wouldn’t do that to you. But I’ve gotta tell you, angel, that it’s been fucking killing me ever since. Knowing that you haven’t had it easy.”
My eyes slide closed as I pull my hand from his to rub my hands along the soft cotton of my dress that’s settled on my thighs. Both relieved that Saylor didn’t go into details and nervous that I’m about to.
Without wasting another minute, I sit up straight, steeling my spine, and open my eyes to see Rhett watching my every move. “She’s right. My past…my life really…it hasn’t been the easiest.”
Rhett leans forward then, elbows to his knees, face turned toward me, waiting on my next words, as if he’s preparing himself. He nods his head for me to continue.
“It’s only ever been me,” I say with a small shrug. “I never knew my parents, spent my first eighteen years bouncing between foster homes, never having stability. Then when I legally became an adult, the system cut me loose with little more than a wave goodbye. So for the last six years, I’ve lived on my own.”
I blow a deep breath, gathering more courage to continue. “It wasn’t all bad. Some foster parents really wanted to keep me, adopt me, but the ones who cared enough either couldn’t afford another mouth to feed without assistance or didn’t have the space for another body.”
My heart aches remembering the couple of families that truly felt like they could be my own, before I was ripped from their safety and tossed into hell. It was like a revolving door, but for every good and decent family, there were four that were just terrible.
“But besides those two families, the rest were just there for the money. Treating it like paychecks for themselves when they were meant for our care. And more than that, I was always just so alone, even in a house full of people, because I never once belonged. Even in the good homes, I never truly felt like I could settle.”
Not wanting to go into any more detail and thinking I’ve shared enough for him to understand, I let the silence consume us.
After a few minutes, Rhett nods curtly. “Anything else, angel?” His voice deeper and gruffer than normal, his question clipped, but I know it’s only because he’s holding on to his emotion by a thread.
And it’s because of that, at least partially, that I don’t go any further. I don’t tell him about that night, the one that ultimately changed my life and had me falling at the feet of the wrong boys and men.
“Years of never being wanted, of never being loved, has damaged my heart and scarred my soul. Making me believe what I was always told.” I swallow harshly before continuing. “That my family never wanted me, that I’d never be enough, and that I didn’t deserve the love and acceptance I’ve always craved.” And still do.
A terrifying growl erupts from Rhett’s throat before he leans over and smashes me to his big, barreled chest. Strong arms a steel band of protection around me.
“They were wrong, angel. All of them. So fucking wrong. I’ve never met anybody more lovable, more deserving, more fucking perfect than you.”
Tears leak from my eyes. My throat feels sore and raw from holding back the sobs trying to let loose.
“A-and you know about the…men,” I whisper sadly, sniffling. Ashamed and embarrassed.
His arms hug me tighter. “They don’t fucking matter, baby. Nev
er did, never will. You did what you felt you had to, and it’s all on them for being goddamn cocksuckers that didn’t realize all the goodness they had wrapped up in you.”
My arms return the embrace, squeezing just as fiercely, taking some of his strength from the moment.
“And if it wasn’t for them hurting you, I’d be damn glad they never realized it. As it is, I’m fucking thankful for their ignorance and assholery because it led you here.”
We slowly release each other but don’t move too far. Still sitting side by side, our thighs touching, our hands finding the other’s yet again.
The silence stretching between us has me on edge. My heart pounding because of everything I just confessed and explained. So instead of letting the quiet continue, I say the first thing that comes to mind. “I’m sorry about your parents.”
My quiet words pierce the air like a blow horn. Rhett’s eyes snap to mine, a mix of question, sadness, and anger mixing in their depths.
“Saylor told me, and before you get mad, I’m glad she did. Because I don’t think you would have. At least not anytime soon.”
“Like you would have told me anything tonight if I hadn’t pushed?”
Touché. “My past isn’t something I’m proud of, Rhett. Not because of the foster care or being alone my whole life, but because of the choices I made to not feel alone.”
Our hands disconnect so I can fidget with mine in my lap and so Rhett can run his down his face. “Shit.” I hear him mutter harshly.
“Can you do something for me, angel? Promise me, that if you take anything from tonight, from me, it’s that you’re not to blame. You’re not at fault. You have no guilt to feel because you weren’t the only one making those choices and decisions. And you sure as fuck weren’t the one pissing them away. Okay? Promise me, angel.”
Hesitantly, I answer. “I promise.” My voice nothing but a whisper because even though I utter the words, my heart doesn’t truly believe them yet.
