by June Francis
‘Our Marty asked a bloke at Chester museum and I listened in. He told us about the Romans being at Chester too.’
‘I didn’t realize you were interested in history.’
‘Only the local stuff. Liverpool used to have a castle, you know, just like Chester. Only Chester still has its castle.’
‘I suppose if I’d given thought to it I’d have realized that Liverpool once had a castle because there’s a Castle Street.’ Lucia paused, and looked about her for the boys, but they had already disappeared. ‘Where have the boys and Fang gone?’ she asked.
‘Down to the beach, no doubt,’ said Tim. ‘There’s a path of sorts just over there,’ he pointed. ‘Come on,’ he added, holding out a hand to Lucia. ‘You’ll want to check Joseph is all right and I want to show them how to look for fossils.’
Lucia said, ‘I did ask Theresa if she wanted to come, but she said that she was going to Michael and Marjorie’s, hoping to see Marjorie’s cousin, Janice, there. They met at the wedding and hit it off but have seen little of each other since. She said she’d take Michael’s cards and birthday presents with her. I’m glad she’s gone as I think she’s been a bit depressed lately.’
Tim said, ‘I wondered if she had a pash on Chris but was hoping she didn’t, because chatting with him I got the impression there was something between him and Nick’s stepsister, Bobby.’
‘She’ll get over it,’ said Lucia. ‘It’ll do her good to have a girlfriend to go around with, so I hope she and Janice do meet up today.’
Tim nodded as he led the way to the narrow footpath that went down to the beach. Lucia followed him and was glad to accept his hand to help her descend.
Jerry and Joseph had already removed shoes and socks and were paddling in the water. Lucia stood watching them for a few minutes and then she turned round to see what Tim was doing. He was chipping away at the cliff face with his penknife. As if sensing her eyes on him, he glanced over his shoulder at her. ‘I’m looking for fossils,’ he said in answer to her unspoken question.
‘You’ll need a bucket for if you find any,’ she said.
‘I’ll go and fetch one,’ he said.
He was off up the path between tussocks of grass and coconut-scented yellow flowering gorse before she had a chance to say, ‘I’ll go.’ She thought back to how limited in mobility he’d been in the early days of their relationship, and was so pleased that he was so much improved. After they had stopped going to the baths regularly, he had taken Jerry and Joseph on several occasions when she was occupied with Babs. Maybe she should suggest them going dancing in the near future and see how he coped with that?
When he returned with the pail, she took it from him and clutched it to her while he continued chipping away at the cliff face. Within minutes he turned towards her and held out a fossil to her. She gazed at it and held out the bucket and he dropped the fossil into it. He called to the boys and they left the water and came running towards them. The fossil was shown off and Tim said, ‘Do you two want to have a go at finding some more?’
There was a resounding ‘yes’ from the two boys.
Tim dug into his trouser pocket and produced a Swiss Army knife and gave that to Jerry. He handed the penknife to Joseph. Then he explained to them what to look for and what to do before gazing around for Lucia.
He raised a hand to his lips and blew a kiss when he saw her standing ankle deep in the water, facing towards the shore, and was gratified when she blew one back. As he walked down to the water’s edge, he was singing beneath his breath a Lonnie Donegan hit of 1957 ‘Puttin’ on the Style’. Although the King of Skiffle was no longer as popular as he had once been, he would always be one of the best musical performers as far as Tim was concerned. There was something about Lonnie’s bouncy style that could always bring a smile to his face, and right now he felt like smiling. So what if he was going to have to wait a while before he felt in a position to ask Lucia to be his wife. Today he had no doubt that that day would come to pass. At least they were doing things together, and God willing there would be many such days to come. He held out his hand to her and she took it and went willingly into his arms when he drew her closer. He kissed her lightly. ‘Are you glad you came?’ he asked.
‘Of course!’
‘I’m glad to hear it. So let’s just enjoy these moments and try and forget the bad days,’ Tim whispered against her ear. ‘I love you.’
She felt her heart flip over and, looking into his blue eyes, said, ‘What did you say?’
‘Do you want me to shout it?’ he asked.
‘The boys will hear.’ Her fingers curled on the front of the plaid shirt he was wearing.
‘Does that matter, as long as you hear me for certain this time?’
‘I did hear you, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t mistaken.’
‘What did you think I said?’
‘I’m too shy to repeat it.’
Tim gave her a teasing look. ‘I don’t believe you, but I’ll say it again. I love you.’ His voice was loud and joyous and the boys’ heads turned in their direction.
‘Look what you’ve done now,’ Lucia said, blushing. ‘And there’s a family coming along the beach.’
The two boys came running towards them and Lucia made to free herself, but Tim gripped her hand tightly. Joseph held his hand out towards them, on which was a weird-looking creature and said, ‘Look what we’ve found.’
‘What is it?’ asked Lucia.
Joseph said, ‘A fossil, of course, which is an ancient creature’s impression that was left after the creature was trapped in the cliff face and remains long after the creature has perished. I read about it in an Observer book,’ he added.
‘Good for you,’ said Tim.
‘I know they can be millions of years old. This is a trilobite,’ Jerry said.
‘Well done.’ Tim grinned. ‘I’ve a couple of brain-boxes here.’
Both boys looked pleased with themselves.
‘I’d like a go at finding one,’ said Lucia. ‘I’ve never had a go at anything like that.’
The four made their way to the cliff face, and now Tim and Lucia searched for a fossil. At first they had no luck at all, only discovering ordinary pebbles or stones and even shells stuck in the cliff face.
At the sight of Lucia’s disappointed face, Tim said, ‘It’s possible that some shells might have been here for hundreds and hundreds of years.’
‘But there’s loads of shells,’ said Lucia. ‘How do you tell the ancient ones from the newer ones?’
Tim did not have an answer to that, and so they carried on looking for fossils until eventually their luck changed and Tim managed – with the blade of his penknife – to prise out a couple of decent fossils. Only one was a trilobite; the other was a fern. ‘It’s beautiful,’ Joseph said of the latter. ‘You have it, Lucia.’
Lucia accepted the fossil of the fern, which perhaps was not a fern but maybe some ancient form of seaweed, she thought. Then she suggested that it was time for their picnic. The boys raced up the footpath.
Tim exchanged glances with Lucia and said, ‘We’ll continue our conversation another time.’ He led the way up the path, pulling her up behind him.
They found the boys delving into the bags containing the picnic. In no time at all the bags were emptied. Lucia flopped on to the blanket and Tim lowered himself next to her and held his face up to the sun, breathing deeply of the fresh air. ‘This is the life,’ he said.
The boys brought food over to Lucia and Tim. She had made sandwiches filled with eggs mashed in butter and milk, and she had bought some chocolate-coated marshmallows too. Tim’s contribution was boiled ham sandwiches, tomatoes, and digestive biscuits covered on one side with Dairylea cheese spread; he had also brought bottles of cream soda and dandelion and burdock.
They tucked in. Once Lucia and Tim were replete, the couple lay back on a towel on the grass, having declared that it was the best picnic they had ever had. The sun was pleasantly warm and th
ere was little breeze, so it was only Jerry and Joseph who were in the mood to be active. The adults were content to lounge and let their meal digest. Half an hour later, though, the sky started to cloud over and Tim said they should start making a move homewards.
When they arrived back home, Lucia found Theresa reading in her bedroom. The sisters asked about the other’s day and both admitted to having had a great day out. Theresa said she would be seeing more of Janice and had arranged to meet her in town next Saturday. Joseph and Jerry were ready for bed, so needed no persuading to retire upstairs. Lucia made cocoa for herself and Tim; he said it had been a great day out and mused over where they should go next. They were sharing the sofa with but a few inches between them.
Lucia wished Tim would sit closer still and put his arm around her. Surely, after what he had said on the beach, he wasn’t thinking she still held what had happened to her and her brothers against him? After all, his enemies were back in prison, so the danger from them had passed. Maybe he just needed some encouragement to make him realize that she was ready and willing for a kiss and a cuddle? She shifted towards him, closing the gap between them, aware that her heart was beating ten to the dozen.
Sixteen
For several minutes Tim made no move towards Lucia, so that she began to consider getting up and sitting in one of the armchairs. In fact she rose to her feet and took a step away from him.
Immediately Tim reached up and tugged the hem of her skirt. ‘Hey, where do you think you’re going?’
‘I thought you might think I was crowding you,’ she said in a breathy voice.
‘Not at all.’ He drew her down beside him and put his arm around her shoulders and, cupping her face with his free hand, he lowered his head and lightly brushed her lips with his own. A sigh escaped her and she slipped an arm about his waist before pressing her mouth against his and keeping it there. She had no idea how long the kiss lasted, but it seemed ages before they drew apart and breathed deeply. Then they kissed again and again and those kisses were all that she desired.
But where do we go from here? Lucia wondered. She felt his hand on her skirt and drew in a quivery breath, wondering if he was going to put his hand up her skirt and go further. Into her head popped Nellie’s warning about men who used innocent girls to satisfy their sexual urges without committing themselves to marriage. She didn’t want to believe Tim was like that; besides, if he was, surely he would have tried it on with her before now? She was just considering slapping his hand away when she felt him smoothing her skirts down and moving his hand to her waist. She was so relieved that she put her all into their next kiss.
He responded passionately and then he moved away and said, ‘I think that’s enough for now.’
‘Don’t you want me?’ she asked in a whisper.
‘Of course! But I’m not going to rush you into doing something you have no experience of – and besides, I’d rather we waited until we were married.’
‘And when will that be?’ she asked, her spirits soaring.
‘Once I’m in a position to support you – and the children.’
‘I don’t expect you to support my brother and sister. I do receive family allowance that helps towards their keep, and besides which, I have my job at the coffee bar.’
‘Maybe I’d better put things a different way and be perfectly honest with you, Lucia love. I have some savings which I’m living off right now, so I can support Jerry and myself for approximately a year. I need to earn regular money to carry on supporting myself, Jerry and you.’
‘What about your book, won’t that bring money in?’
‘Yeah, in the short run, but it won’t go on and on. It’ll tail off after a while.’
‘Can’t you write another book?’
‘Not an autobiography. I’ve only had one life,’ said Tim earnestly.
‘What about the articles you write?’
‘They only bring in a few pounds.’
‘What about garage work?’
‘I don’t believe anyone would employ me and I can’t afford to set up in business again just yet.’
‘I’ve run out of ideas,’ Lucia said, looking downcast.
Tim gazed at her and felt not only helpless but a failure.
Then she said, ‘If we married soon, you wouldn’t have to pay rent because you’d be living here.’
‘I understand that, but I still need to get a job. I’m not going to sponge off you – and besides, I’d want you to give up work.’
‘That doesn’t make sense. Why can’t I go out to work and earn the money while you stay at home and be here for me and the kids? You can cook a bit and iron, use the washing machine, clean up and the like.’
‘It’s not man’s work.’
‘Rubbish! You’ve done some of those things since your wife died.’
‘Only in a small way. It’s no use, Lucia love. I won’t marry you unless I can support you.’
She stared at him from brimming eyes. ‘It’s just your male pride that is preventing us from marrying.’
‘No, it isn’t. I’ve regained some self-respect and I want to hang on to it. Surely you can understand that, love?’
‘You call me love – surely it’s love that matters?’
‘Love soon goes out of the window if there isn’t enough money coming in,’ Tim said.
‘Ohhh! You make me so mad!’ she said, getting up and pacing the room.
‘Don’t you think I’m frustrated, too,’ said Tim, removing himself from the sofa. ‘I’d better be going,’ he added, reaching for his jacket on the back of a chair.
‘If we were married, you wouldn’t have to go.’
‘Enough! Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
She felt like saying, No, you won’t. I’m going to see the estate agent about putting the house up for sale and move somewhere else and not tell you where I’m going. I’ll get over you. Only she knew that she wouldn’t and, besides, it would upset Joseph never to see Jerry again. So she let Tim go without a word and would have slammed the door after him if it hadn’t occurred to her that it would likely wake the children. She felt so angry that she wondered how she could have ever loved him in the first place. She was at a loss about what to do, but deep inside she knew that they were going to have to discuss their future again, and soon.
The following morning she decided she needed to put on her best bib and tucker to face him, so after washing the breakfast dishes, she removed her apron, hung it up on a nail in the kitchen, then she put on her best dress and some make-up and went and knocked at the door of the van.
After a few minutes, Tim showed his face, looking as if he had not slept. His flaxen hair was unruly, he had dark rings beneath his eyes and his shirt was unbuttoned. ‘Yes,’ he said shortly. ‘What can I do for you, Lucia?’
‘You’ve already told me that you can do nothing for me but I’d like you to rethink what we discussed last night,’ she said.
‘I’ve done nothing else but think most of the night.’ He stifled a yawn. ‘Anyway, you’re looking good. Going to church, are you?’
She put a hand to her mouth. ‘I’d forgotten about church. Thanks for reminding me. I’d better get cracking and be on my way before I’m late.’ She stepped down and flounced away with a twirl of skirts.
‘Say one for me while you’re there,’ he called.
‘I’ll say one for both of us. We can’t go on the way we are,’ she said. ‘So near, yet so far away.’
‘There’s a song with those last words,’ he said inconsequentially. ‘I know how you feel and I’ll carry on thinking of a way we can be together.’
She turned away as Tim said, ‘I’ve just remembered that song. It’s one of Billy Fury’s.’
‘I know, it’s “Halfway to Paradise”,’ said Lucia, turning to face him again. ‘We were that close.’ She held her thumb and forefinger an inch apart and then wiped her eyes with her sleeve. ‘See you around, Tim,’ she said on a sob.
‘Please do
n’t cry, love,’ he pleaded. ‘I can’t bear it.’
‘Then do something. If I was really your love, you’d marry me.’
Tim stepped out of the van and went down on one knee. ‘Please, Lucia, promise me that you’ll give me three months and then do me the honour of marrying me? I just need some time to work things out.’
Her tears dried almost magically. ‘I will! But don’t you go letting me down.’
‘Am I allowed a kiss?’
A kiss! she thought, which might have to last her three months. Christmas!
She went into his arms and held up her face to his. His mouth covered hers in a kiss filled with a passionate yearning; when it eventually tailed off, their lips clung before they eventually released each other.
An exchange of glances and then she walked away in the direction of Our Lady, Star of the Sea Church.
Tim drove off in the direction of Crosby, and it was not until Fang came and poked his head through the space between the two seats and yelped, that Tim remembered he had left Jerry behind. Then he recalled his son had his bike with him so would be able to cycle home when he was ready. There was an ache in the region of his heart, but he was convinced he was doing the right thing in waiting a while before marrying Lucia. He had let too many people down in the past by rushing into things and not thinking over matters. He wanted a marriage between Lucia and himself to be as good as possible. Unlike his first wife, Bernie, Lucia didn’t place overwhelming importance on money, and nor did she seem to realize what a strain a shortage of funds could put on a relationship, which seemed strange to Tim when he considered what a struggle she’d had over the past year managing to support her brothers and sisters. She seemed to believe that love could conquer all – and maybe true love could. Of course she had received help from her aunts so that was something. But Tim wasn’t taking any chances. He had to find a job – not easy with his track record – while at the same time considering whether he could perhaps write a novel.
And so it proved: when he tried to apply for vacancies at various garages, he couldn’t get a job. He even tried going freelance, offering his services to friends and family and his new neighbours in Crosby, at a price cheaper than those who had proper garage facilities, but it soon proved to be a no-no. Not enough money coming in, and there were jobs he just couldn’t do without garage facilities, as aside from having to buy parts. Some jobs he passed on to Michael at the garage where he now worked, which he and his boss were grateful for. It seemed hopeless, and Tim was starting to think he’d never find suitable work when Nellie’s husband, Michelangelo, offered him a job in his marble tiling business. Unfortunately, Tim didn’t possess the knack either to cut marble or to actually put up the tiling, which had to be perfect for Michelangelo’s wealthy customers. He saw nothing of Lucia but sent her a letter, telling her that he missed her and the children. He was seeing more of his brother Marty, his sister Peggy, and her husband, Pete, who had given up his job in a shipping office to train to be a teacher. They were sympathetic, but could not help with his search for employment.
