“You know how I feel about that,” I whispered.
“I can’t lose you,” Logan said. “My world would never be the same. You inspire me to be a better person.”
I blew out the match and turned around to face him. His blue eyes were exposing the same emotion his words relayed. There was no hint of darkness, only sadness as he searched my expression, hoping that I’d changed my mind. But I hadn’t.
Logan stepped toward me, sliding his hand down my spine. He dipped his head, moving his lips along my jaw, down to my throat.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, feeling the heat spread through my body. I wanted to promise things that couldn’t be promised.
“At least you’re here with me now,” he whispered, bringing his hands up my back. His warm breath danced off my skin, unleashing the desire for him that I was trying so hard to control.
“I love you,” I said, looking into up into his eyes as he moved back slightly.
“I love you too.”
Logan slowly unbuttoned my top, allowing his fingertips to graze my flesh from button to button. When he reached the last button, he slowly brushed his hands along my shoulders, as he allowed the pajama top to drop to the ground. Logan watched me closely, as I tilted my head, begging for a kiss that he wouldn’t give. My breathing intensified as he continued drinking me in as if he’d never seen me before.
My skin began to prickle as I felt Logan’s gaze running along my body. I didn’t have to see the look in his eyes. I felt it. Since we discovered I was a Divinus, things between us changed. The magnetic pull we had for each other was stronger than ever before. Every moment was cherished and even the slightest touch precious between us. The thought of leaving him behind killed me. I couldn’t imagine never being held in his arms again.
He flashed me his devilish grin, and my body warmed with desire.
“You look amazing,” he whispered, his eyes running over my body.
“I want you to understand what you’re giving up,” he whispered, his voice low and somewhat guarded.
“It’s not like that,” I said quietly, unable to stay focused as his thumb circled my chin.
“But it is.”
His blue eyes darkened a shade as he leaned into me, bringing his lips just behind my ear, nibbling the lobe. My body shuddered as his lips slowly inched down my neck to my bare shoulders. I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck as my breathing became heavier with every passing moment. His fingers outlined my curves, tracing the softness of my skin that was now exposed.
My hands found the hem of Logan’s shirt. Grasping the shirt, I pulled it up and over his head, tossing it on the floor. His lips feverishly explored my collarbone, forcing a wave of heat through my body. He wrapped his arms around me, bringing me into the warmth of his chest. With every collision of our flesh, I wanted more. I needed him now more than ever. His fingers danced down my tummy, gently tugging along my waistband as I arched my back to help his fingers. And that’s when something inside me shattered. I didn’t want to lose this.
***
Logan held me tightly, as my legs were intertwined through his. Taking in his wonderful soapy scent, I cuddled deeper into him.
“Did that help to change your mind at all?” he murmured into my hair, his warm breath prickling my scalp.
Two lights flickered outside our window, and I immediately stiffened.
“What? What’s wrong?” he asked, tightening his embrace.
“Outside.”
Logan darted to the window, but the lights extinguished.
“It wasn’t the fairies, was it?” I asked.
“I think they would’ve stuck around to stay hi.” He turned away from the window just as more white lights amassed, sets of them.
“There it is again, only more.” I pointed outside.
This time both Logan and I slowly made our way to the window, trying not to make any quick movements that would snuff out the ‘lights’ again.
Staring out the glass, my heart began racing as I watched the white lights slowly turn crimson red. We weren’t seeing beams of lights. Those were eyes staring back at us. My heart began racing as I counted how many pairs were looking at us.
“At least fifteen,” Logan muttered, answering my unasked question.
“Demons,” I stated. “Maybe the Praedivinus Order sent them.”
“Someone certainly did.”
“Luminaria ex,” I chanted.
The candles in our bedroom extinguished, exposing the transparent bodies of the creatures on the other side of the glass.
“Sylphs,” I muttered under my breath.
I looked beyond the initial grouping and watched as more winged creatures shot through the night’s sky on their way to our home.
“I’m not sure what they have planned, but by the sheer number we’d better be ready for anything,” Logan said, placing his hand on my shoulder.
As the delicate beings congregated, I watched their expressions change from anger to sadness, settling on confusion. Their large eyes overpowered their otherwise subtle features, but they were anxious and getting more so.
A smaller sylph puckered its lips and hissed, stepping in front of the others. If I opened the window I could probably touch it. I found myself taking a step closer to the glass. Another sylph hissed and another. Things weren’t looking so good.
“They think you’re provoking them,” Logan whispered.
“Kind of feeling the same way.”
The sylph closest to the window flicked her tiny tongue in a gesture of defiance.
“Corvorum mundi venire et providere auxilium ad me,” I hummed, closing my eyes. “Corvorum mundi venire et providere auxilium ad me.”
The walls fell away, and my mind no longer existed in the bedroom we were standing in. I glided with the wind, calling to the wild in search of answers and help. I felt free and unrestricted as I escaped the confines of the structure. I no longer was in the realm of the mundane.
I began feeling a connection to the sleeping ravens of the night. If I needed them, they would present themselves to the sylph. The wind carried my spirit as I touched the tips of the trees before descending to the pasture. My existence was nowhere yet everywhere. No longer in the city, I felt my mind escape to a world of the wild, of the wilderness. I watched coyotes circle beneath me as I soared back up through the clouds. I no longer was tethered to the world directly in front of me. Understanding that I somehow harnessed a new realm, I let the images I saw escape through the nectunt to share with Logan. He slid his arm around my waist, as I opened my eyes, taking myself out of the trance, to reveal the sylphs slowly flying away from the window.
My stomach knotted with the realization that my home was becoming less like one every day.
“I wonder what’s making them leave?” I questioned, pressing against the window. I looked down and saw the creatures of the night circling around our yard. Raccoons and possums began scurrying out of our yard. The tree outside looked to be covered in more ravens and crows than I cared to imagine, and one by one, they began flying back to wherever they came from. I hadn’t even officially called them, only connected with them, and they came to help.
“Stunning,” I whispered. “But I don’t understand why the sylph would have left. They certainly could have taken down the critters that surrounded them,” I said, looking at the sweet-faced animals that were on the lawn.
“I’m guessing whoever sent them here called them back for whatever reason,” Logan said.
“I hope we get some answers tomorrow, but what I planned on going there for seems to be expanding by the second,” I said sighing.
Logan walked over to the bed. His movements were slow and his stare distracted. I had to get to the bottom of what was bothering him.
“That’s it, Mister,” I said, shaking my head.
I stomped my way over and sat on his lap, letting my arms circle his neck.
“I know you’re not telling me everything,” I whispered,
as my lips softly tickled his neck. “Now fess up.”
He ran his fingers through my messy hair in a very deliberate way. I leaned away from him slightly, allowing our eyes to connect.
“No matter how I put this, I’m going to sound like a jerk,” he said, half-smiling.
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” I laughed, playfully hitting his cheek. “Seriously though, tell me what’s up.”
“I’m thinking after your mom is settled back in at the house, I should find my own place. I don’t feel right living here with everything…”
“What do you mean? You were fine with the idea when you had planned on going to college. Why isn’t it the same thing?” I couldn’t believe he was saying this. I’d gotten so used to being with him, I didn’t want to imagine spending my days and nights without him.
“Lots of things have changed since then.” He smiled coyly. “I just don’t think it would be right.”
“I’m completely at a loss,” I said, slowly shaking my head. “I don’t understand what the difference is.”
“Well for starters…” he said, squeezing me in tighter, “we’ve kind of gotten close.”
“Kind of?” I attempted a laugh. “Didn’t you plan on that when you returned for college?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t actually think I had a chance. I thought you’d probably write me off, and I’d just be rooming here.”
“Yeah, right. There’s no way that’s what you thought. I’m not buying it for a second.”
He shrugged. “It’s true. I mean you never wrote me back so I assumed.”
I burst out laughing. “Enough with the letters.”
He couldn’t stop laughing and hugged me tightly.
“I don’t think I could separate from you after being with you so long.”
“Who said you’d have to be separate from me?” His brow raised in confusion. “I thought you’d come with me.”
Chapter 5
The fog circulated into one of nature’s masterpieces as the droplets unrolled a veil in every direction. I couldn’t see the street from the second floor window, nor could I see the tree that wasn’t more than ten feet from the window. The thought of going outside seemed unpleasant, but winter had already set in and it wouldn’t let up until April. I curled my arms around my chest as a shiver ran through me. I had a camisole, t-shirt, and a wool sweater on, yet it didn’t seem adequate. There was something very isolating about weather like this. Or maybe it was just my mood. I glanced over at Logan and smiled, knowing he’d provide an instant lift, even if it didn’t last.
“There’s a chance of freezing fog,” Logan said, pulling on a pair of low slung jeans. He was avoiding my gaze and making comments about the weather. This wasn’t the best way to start the morning. He grabbed a grey sweater and slid it over his head, flattening his wet hair against his head.
I couldn’t help but chuckle, and he quickly moved his hands through it to ruffle it back up.
“That sounds about right for today,” I said smiling. “Thanks for the weather update, Mr. Greene.”
Silence filled the room before Logan took in a deep breath stealing the air away. I knew what he was thinking. I knew what he wanted to ask. Ever since he’d brought it up there’d been a change between us, which made no sense at all. I turned my attention back to outside and noticed that there were tiny ice crystals forming against the window.
“So have you thought more about my offer?” he asked, his voice low.
Thought about it? I couldn’t get mind off of it all night. I wanted to be with Logan and couldn’t imagine not having him by my side, but I didn’t want to leave my mom alone. My mind thought it was too early to make any decisions, but my heart had already decided.
“I think it would be best if…”
“Oh,” he sighed, his expression dropping.
“If we moved in together.” I smiled, feeling the energy in the room shift dramatically. “See… you shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions,” I teased.
I stared at him; drinking him in, as his eyes lit up and the stress vanished from his features. I swear he got better looking every day that went by, and I didn’t think that was possible.
He walked toward me with his gaze becoming more heated with every step.
“We’ve got to meet Maddie in less than an hour,” I whispered, feeling the intensity of his grasp bringing me into him. My eyes closed as his fingers ran down my back.
“I just wanted to thank you.” His breath tickled my neck. “I didn’t know what I would do if you said no.”
“I’ve got to ensure my mom’s settled before…” my voice trailed off, taking a step back.
“I understand.”
“What is that?” I asked, pointing at a vial full of mist that he tucked in his pocket.
“Insurance,” he replied, smiling coyly.
“Is that what was in your pocket last night?”
He nodded, ushering me toward the stairs.
“So off to the undercity,” I sighed.
We quickly found parking along the street and were walking down the long sidewalk. I stayed focused on every step I took, narrowly missing ice-patches and uneven concrete from invading tree roots. I didn’t need to make any missteps to complicate this morning. I wanted to get answers and get on with everything without injury.
The boutiques, cafes, and coffee shops that filled the old, brick buildings were bustling with people. A person couldn’t go more than a block without having access to coffee of some sort in this town. I loved Seattle, even with everything that was changing about it.
Uninviting alleyways were scattered along the path we followed, and the longer we walked, the more anxious I felt. The wind from the water worked its way up the hill, blasting us with cold air. Plain and simple, I was just nervous.
“Where exactly are we going?” I asked.
“It’s kind of hard to explain, but we’re almost there,” he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me down the street.
We were coming up to another alley when I felt Logan’s pace slow. I craned my neck around the corner to peer down the compact alley where Logan stopped. There were caddywhompus brick buildings lining each side of the alley, with colorful doors and stairways dotting the sides. A couple of dark, green dumpsters peppered the narrow stretch, along with some escaped trash. Not as welcoming as I had hoped.
“Well?” I squeezed his hand.
He smiled, looking down at me, as we began walking down the alley. The cobblestone alley was uneven. I doubt any car, besides a Fiat or Mini, would fit down this alley. As we passed back entrances to bars and restaurants, I began wondering where we were really going. I canvased the entrances as we continued to walk, expecting to stop at one of them, but we didn’t. Then it hit me…
“We aren’t actually,” I stopped. “Where we’re going doesn’t actually have to do with…”
Logan’s eyes sparkled with mischief, and he began pulling me a little quicker down the tiny alleyway until we were directly in front of it.
“That’s so nasty,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“But so fitting,” he laughed.
“I guess that’s one way of keeping people away. Although apparently not completely.” There were a few tourists, holding their Seattle guidebooks tightly, staring directly at it.
The empty brick wall gave way to a colorful but completely disgusting wall with already chewed gum plastered all over it. There were tiny yellow bits and green bits, mixed with red bits and white bits all stuck in with blue pieces and purple pieces. It was absolutely gross but kind of mesmerizing. A woman bundled in a black coat, blue scarf and hat hopped over to the wall and pulled out a piece of gum from her mouth with her index finger, sticking the pink chunk right on top of all the others. A man, equally as bundled for the weather, took a picture of her proudly pressing her index finger into the mess. It only occurred to her after she attempted to remove her gloved finger that her piece of gum and several others would stick to her glove. She shoo
k the rubbery mess frantically, flinging the old gum to the ground.
“At least we got the picture,” she squeaked to the man.
“Ugh. Hard to believe of all the things Seattle has to offer that this would make it on the list,” I moaned. “Is the entrance really behind that wall?”
“Yep, right through it,” Logan laughed. “At least, that’s what your aunt told me.”
“Does make it the perfect place to hide an entrance. I mean I certainly don’t want to go over there.”
The woman started laughing as she checked out her picture on the camera, and the group she was with slowly walked out of the alley.
“Guess it’s time.”
“This is so icky on so many levels,” I whined.
Logan wasted no time as he hauled me over to stand directly in front of the gum.
“Hold onto me,” he commanded.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that however we were going to travel between the alley and the other side of the wall wouldn’t actually require us to touch any of the sticky or hard matter that had been placed with such careful intentions over the years.
“Sub Civitatem Aperi Nobis,” Logan chanted.
I held onto him tightly as a cold blast of air hit me. Unable to resist what I might be missing, I opened one eye to see the layers of gum rolling away, exposing a clean brick wall. Logan traced his finger along the bricks, which broke into several pieces and separated, unmasking a gloomy room with a staircase leading down into darkness.
“Do I still need to hold on?” I asked.
“You actually never had to. I just liked how it felt.” Logan’s lip turned up slightly.
Trying not to laugh, I rolled my eyes and took a step toward the gaping hole. I ducked my head and walked through entrance, standing on the platform. Logan stood next to me and traced his finger along the interior brick wall. The hole quickly closed up and the room became very dim. I reached for my wand, allowing the tip to light the way for us both. The small area smelled very musty, and my nose began tickling incessantly.
Shattered Souls Page 4
