“Hey,” he said as I threw my lunch bag up on the table.
“Hey,” I replied, feeling weird about what he had told me all over again. “How come you’re still up?”
“I wanted to stay up so we could talk. I know I won’t be able to rest until we clear the air, so I figure tonight is as good as any time. Of course, if you’re tired, I won’t make you talk this evening.”
In all honesty, I was tired. I was downright exhausted. As I was quickly finding out, there was a ton of walking involved in my position at work. I made a mental note to get myself a pedometer so I could see how many steps I took on any particular night.
Honestly, I was surprised to see Dillon waiting up for me. Seeing him made me wonder if he was still awake for my sake or his. Lord knows it’s been a long time since he’s put my needs before his own.
A large part of me was thankful that he wasn’t in bed. Even though I told him that I needed some time to process what had happened and that we’d talk the next day, I’d already had the past 12 hours to think about it, and I didn’t want to wait anymore. I needed some answers.
“No, it’s fine. I think this is something that probably shouldn’t wait any longer.”
“All right, why don’t we sit down at the table? Do you want some coffee or anything?” he asked.
“Wine. I’ll take a glass of wine.”
He went into the kitchen and poured me a glass of Chardonnay.
“So do you want to start?” he asked, placing the wine on the table in front of me.
“Yeah, I think that will be best. I’ve been thinking about this all night, and I want to know what your end game is.”
“My end game? What do you mean?”
“I mean as far as your fantasy goes, what do you get out of it in the end. What is your end game? What’s your ulterior motive?”
“It’s just a fantasy, Kayla. I don’t have any motives. It’s just something I’ve always wanted to see.”
“If it’s something you’ve always wanted to see, how come this is the first time I’m hearing about it?”
“Jesus Kayla, what the fuck was I supposed to say? Hey, I love you so much, but why don’t we find you a guy to fuck this weekend? We both know how that would have gone. Pretty much the way this conversation is going right now.”
“I call bullshit on that. You’ve never had a problem telling me about any of your other fantasies.”
“Yeah, but those were fantasies that only involved us.”
“There has to be something more to this. I’ve been thinking about it all night while I was at work. Why do I get the feeling that you’re trying to trap me?”
“Trap you? How would I be trying to trap you?”
“I was thinking back to before we got married. Your mom insisted that I sign that prenup because you were going to be this big time doctor and I was going to be nothing but a housewife. I specifically remember there being something in the prenup that says if I cheated on you, I’d get nothing if we got divorced. Is that what this is about? Are you trying to trick me into cheating on you because you want to leave me and you’re afraid I’ll take your money?
“No, it’s not like that at all.”
“Okay, so are you trying to get me to cheat on you so you can hold it against me for the rest of my life? Do you want me to do something so you can somehow make it out to be like I owe you?”
“No, I would never do anything like that Kayla?”
“If that’s not it, then are you having an affair? I know we don’t spend much time together. Are you really at the practice all the time like you say or do you have someone on the side? Do you want me to sleep with other men, so you get a free pass to have an affair? Do you want it so I have no right to say anything about what you do or else I’d be a hypocrite?”
“I’m not having an affair. I don’t want to be with anyone else but you.”
“But it would all make so much sense. Our sex life has been so cold for a while now. If I went out and fucked other men, then you’d have free reign to see whoever you wanted. That’s the only thing that makes sense. If you’re not wanting to set me up for a divorce, then it has to be an affair. It has to be.”
10
Dillon
Kayla was starting to go off the deep end. She was getting hysterical, and there was no reason for it. She was throwing around a lot of accusations, none of which were true. In fact, she couldn’t have been further from the truth if she tried.
“Listen to me for just a minute. Really, really listen to me. It seems like you’ve let your mind go crazy and you’ve come up with all these scenarios that aren’t real. Everything you’re saying is just the result of an overactive imagination and thinking in a worst case scenario situation,” I told her, hoping it would finally start to sink in.
“Then what is it, Dillon? Help me understand this.”
“Look, I’m not trying to trick you in any way. I don’t want to divorce you and I sure as hell don’t get a damn about that prenup. If you remember, I was very much against it.”
“Yeah, but you still went through with it.”
“Come on, Kayla. We both know that my mom wasn’t going to get off my ass until I did it. I know that you were upset and just signed it when our lawyer put it in front of you, but if you had ever read it in-depth, you’d see that it’s the flimsiest prenup in the history or prenuptial agreements. I had it written that way on purpose because even though I’m the doctor, we’ve both played a huge part in getting to where we are today.”
“You’ve always told me that, but I always thought it was your way to make me feel better.”
“No, I’ve always been straight with you on that. As far as being with other people, I have no desire to be with anyone else.”
“That’s where I get confused. I don’t see why you would want to see me with another man but wouldn’t want to be with another woman in return.”
“I know that can be confusing, but other women don’t appeal to me. You’re my girl. You always have been, and you always will be.”
“For a long time, I believed that to be true, but somewhere along the way, something happened. You used to look at me like I was the only girl in the world. That changed quite a while ago.”
“Kayla, believe it or not, I love you very much. I know I’ve done a shitty job showing it lately, but that doesn’t make it any less real. In all honesty, I think you’re the sexiest woman in the world, and there is no way that anyone could compete with you as far as that goes.”
“If that’s the case, why do you want to share me?”
“The fact that I think you’re the most gorgeous woman on earth is precisely why I want to share you. I know you think that this might be some kind of trick so that I can sleep with other women, but that doesn’t interest me at all. I don’t have any desire to be with any woman other than you.”
“Okay, but…”
“Hold on, just let me finish. The reason I want to do this is because I want to watch you be pleasured. I look at that porn that you found to feed into the fantasy. The fact that the woman in the video looked like you was not an accident. I watch it and imagine it’s you. I want you to do it in real life so I can experience you being my personal porn star.”
11
Kayla
Everything he was saying was beginning to make perfect sense to me. The videos he was watching were all about wives sleeping with other men. I didn’t see anything about husbands sleeping with other women. On top of that, the woman in the video looked exactly like me, a fact that I’d pointed out to him when I found out what he had been watching.
Still, even knowing that this wasn’t a trick to set me up for a divorce or for him to be allowed to sleep with other women, I still had plenty of questions. I wanted to be happy that he was willing to share his fantasy with me, but the only reason I knew about it in the first place was because I’d caught him.
“If I asked you a question, would you give me an honest answer?” I inquired.
“Of course. I’ll always be straight with you. You should know that by now.”
“All right, there’s something I’m confused about here. You say that I’m your ultimate fantasy and that you’re so turned on by me, right?”
“Absolutely.”
“Okay, if that’s true and I turn you on so much, why have you been so distant for so long? Why did you stop paying attention to me? Why did you become all about work and start to ignore me?”
“Kayla, are you sure you really want to talk about this right now?”
“Yes, I think about this stuff all the time. I’ve wanted to ask you for a long time, but I was scared that maybe I didn’t want to know the answer. Well, I think I deserve to know what it is about me that started making you act like I didn’t exist.”
“I’m not really sure the right way to say this because I don’t want either of us to leave this conversation feeling bad about ourselves or one another.”
“Just say it. Tell me what you feel. This conversation has been a long time coming. We both know it. If we don’t get things out in the open now, when are we going to do it? It’s not like things are going to get better on their own. We need to talk about this.”
“Okay, then I’m just gonna spit it out. The distance between us isn’t all my fault. It takes two to tango and all that.”
“Two to tango? What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’m not the only person in this relationship that has allowed our marriage to go to shit. You started to shut down long before I did.”
“What? I never shut down. I’ve been the same person since the day we got married.”
“Really? You’ve seen me getting distant but not yourself? Think about how things were when we first got married. We used to go out all the time. You’d get all made up, and I’d take you out to nice dinners and dancing. You used to throw on one of my jerseys and go to hockey games with me. You used to do your hair and makeup when you weren’t even leaving the house and when I asked why you were getting all made up, do you remember what you used to say?”
“That I just wanted to look good for you,” I replied, trying very hard not to allow my eyes to fill up with tears.
“Yeah, you would put on your makeup and do your hair just because you wanted to look good for me. I never expected it, and I told you all the time that you looked beautiful without it, but you still wanted to do it for me. When you stopped doing it, I took notice.”
“I never thought about that.”
“I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. That’s why I made such a big deal about you doing it when you were getting ready for work. I didn’t understand why I didn’t deserve it anymore, but a bunch of strangers did. It really bothered me.”
“I can understand that.”
“As far as going out, you put the brakes on that too. You started telling me you just wanted to cook when I asked if you wanted to go out to dinner. If I wanted to take you to a movie, you’d tell me there was nothing out that you wanted to see, which I found strange because you always found new releases to watch on Netflix. The only time I get to take you out is when a pharmaceutical rep is in town, and even then, I feel like I’m pulling teeth.”
“Wow, I didn’t realize you felt this way. What changed in the bedroom?”
“Are you serious? All of this is what changed in the bedroom. I know you’re saying that you’ve felt unloved and unwanted for a long time, but how do you think I’ve felt? When you stopped wanting much to do with me in everyday life, I felt rejected. When it came to sex, you used to be up for it all the time, but you started telling me that you were too tired or that you weren’t in the mood. I stopped trying because I didn’t want to be rejected anymore.”
I lost the battle in my fight to hold back my tears as I started sobbing uncontrollably. I was so focused on what had changed with Dillon, that I never even bothered to look at the part I played in our relationship changing.
Even after everything, he hated to see me cry. At the first sight of a tear rolling down my check, he pulled me close to him, kissed me on my forehead and told me everything was going to be just fine. We could work on things if I wanted to. At that moment, I know that working on things was exactly what I wanted to do.
It had been a month since we had our talk and decided that all we both wanted was to save our marriage. He started closing the practice one day a week to match my weeknight off.
One thing we committed to was a weekly date night. The rules are simple enough. We would each take turns picking where we went and what we did. While on our date, our phones would be put away and neither of us would talk about work. For one night every week, things were all about us.
For the first couple of weeks, we didn’t talk about anything in particular. It was just catching up and talking about everything and not nothing all at the same time, just like we used to do.
During our third date, I decided to ask him about his fantasy. In many ways, I credit his fantasy for fixing our marriage. If I had never used his laptop and saw what h had been watching, we may not have ever opened a dialog about what we were feeling.
He was very open about his fantasy and didn’t have a problem with any questions I asked, regardless of how dumb they were. The more he told me about the fantasy; the more intrigued I became.
Although it was something I didn’t ever plan on doing, the thoughts he was planting in my mind were beginning to turn me on. Before I knew it, his fantasy began to consume my thoughts. When he wasn’t home, I started going to the websites and watching the videos. I started taking extra long showers so I could masturbate. Slowly, I began to realize that his fantasy was becoming my fantasy too.
12
Dillon
Things between Kayla and I were better than they’d been in years. We were communicating with each other, which was something we hadn’t done in quite some time. We were talking, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company.
In many ways, I felt like we were given a second chance to enjoy our honeymoon stage, except it was even better this time. After so many years of marriage, most people don’t fight for what they have, which is probably why divorce rates are so high. I was thankful that we were able to breathe new life into a relationship that was dying.
An unexpected circumstance of our new lines of communication was Kayla coming around to the ideas of my fantasy. She wasn’t eager to go out and actually do it, but she was at least willing to talk about it. I had a feeling that she thought about it more than she was willing to admit, even though she denied it when I asked her about it.
Everything came to a head one night after I had taken her out to dinner and a comedy club, where we both had quite a bit more than the posted two drink minimum. We were lying in bed when she leaned over and started kissing my neck and whispering into my ear.
“I know you like when I kiss on you. Do you think about me lying in bed with someone else, kissing their neck like I do yours?” she asked playfully.
“Yes, I’ve thought about that a lot.”
She moved from my neck to my lips, giving me a deep kiss.
“What about me kissing them, pushing my tongue into his mouth? Maybe even biting their bottom lip the way I do?”
“Mm-hm, I like the sound of that.”
Kayla looked down and saw the bulge that had formed in my boxers. I was amazed at how I went from completely soft to rock hard with just a few words out of her mouth.
“You certainly do like that, don’t you?” she giggled as she reached down and started rubbing my hard-on through my boxers. “I’m sure if I was in bed with another man, his dick would be just as hard. What do you think about me reaching down and grabbing another man’s cock through his underwear and feeling it grow in my hand?”
I had to bite my tongue to the point where it started to hurt just to take my attention away from her touching me because if I didn’t, I was going to blow my load.
“Or what if I reached in and grabbed it?” s
he continued, moving her hand inside of my boxers, gripping my shaft at the base and slowly stroking upward.
“Get over here,” I told her as I grabbed her and flipped her onto her back, kissing her deeply and passionately, as though we were horny teenagers making out in the backseat of a car.
This was the first time that she had brought up the scenario in bed, and it was making me hotter than I ever could have imagined it would.
“I want you so bad,” she whispered into my ear.
I moved from her mouth and started kissing her down her body, stopping briefly at her collarbone and breasts before making my way between her legs. She grabbed the back of my head to push my face towards her pussy, which was already glistening, but I wanted to try something. It usually took some work to get her off, and I wanted to see if I was right and she was just as turned on by the fantasy as I was.
“For the rest of the night, I’m not your husband. Your husband isn’t here. I want you to close your eyes and imagine that you’ve spent the evening at a bar. Not a cheap, hole in the wall kind of place, but a bar in a nice hotel. The kind of hotel that businessmen frequent.”
“Uh-huh,” she whispered as I bent down and gave her clit one single lick.
“Now imagine that an attractive businessman has taken an interest in you and has been buying you drinks all evening. As it starts to get late, he invites you up to his room. He tells you he likes talking to you, but you both know that’s not what the invite is about.”
“Mmmm,” she moans as I give her another quick lick.
“He pours you another drink as soon as you get up to the room before he takes a seat and turns on some music. He tells you how sexy you look and asks you to dance for him. You place your drink on a nightstand and start giving him the most erotic dance you can think of. Your dance turns into a striptease. You seductively and provocatively take off every piece of clothing you’re wearing except for your g-string panties.”
Bought (The Owned Series Book 1) Page 11
