As we started to sing, the entire cafeteria joined in or, at least, it sounded that way. And when he hit “seven feet tall,” everyone jumped up from their seats. Drew made his way around the table. He knew I would jump when we yelled the next line.
We do the Wachoosee, we’re 7 feet tall!
I jumped off the bench, not even looking. Because I knew he’d be there. He caught me in his arms, pulling me in close to his chest. Because somehow, instead of drowning me out, Drew amplified me. Made me better.
Why did that feel so right? We had this moment, where he was holding me and I looked into his eyes and I wanted to kiss him. That kiss, the one last night, should have been Drew. But then I remembered his barb earlier today and I shimmied to the floor, my gaze dropping to look at my hands. He didn’t let me go and I gently pressed my palms to his chest, trying, though not too hard, to get out of the circle of his arms.
He leaned down close to my ear. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Actually, he probably yelled it, “Camp Winni” was so loud now, I couldn’t hear anything else without screaming.
“It’s okay,” I looked up at him then. I wanted to kiss him. How would it compare? I knew in that moment that I wanted to find out. But first, I really had to tell Alex we were just friends. It was only right. The kiss didn’t matter as much as my feelings and they were for Drew.
“No, it’s not okay, and later tonight, I’ll explain.” He gave me one last squeeze and then let me go.
My body hummed as I finished dinner and then went back to my cabin to get ready. I didn’t know if there was a future with Drew but there wasn’t one with Alex, no matter how good his kiss was. The rest of the time, I didn’t feel what I used to when I was around him.
It was Drew’s dark hair and penetrating eyes that had me crushing now. How cliché, I liked the bad boy, the one who was sarcastic and played in a band. I nearly rolled my eyes as I brushed out my hair.
“So,” Millie was next to me, also primping in the mirror. “It is past time to spill. What the heck is going on?”
I grinned. “I am not entirely sure, but I think I’ve figured out a few things.”
“Such as?” Her eyebrows went up in the mirror.
I took a breath. “I don’t actually think I like Alex as more than a friend.”
“Thank God!” she yelled.
I blinked several times. “Do you like Alex as more than a friend?”
“No!” her response was so quick that my own eyebrows rose. Interesting.
“Fine,” I said. As much as I wanted to prod her into giving more details, I wouldn’t push. First, I’d needed time in my own head to figure things out. And I was an extrovert. Millie was not, she was quiet by nature and so she might need even longer. “I’m here whenever you want to talk.”
She turned to me then, so we were no longer looking in the mirror. Her eyes held a confusion I was sure I mirrored. “Thanks, I really appreciate that.” Then she gave me a smile. “But let’s focus on you first.”
“Ugh,” I shook my head. “Let’s not. I’m pretty sure I am messing everything up.” Part of me wanted to tell her about the kiss. But if she was having feelings for Alex, then, I don’t know, I might make things way worse than they already were. I didn’t want to date him and I didn’t want to eliminate him as an option for Millie. She was one of the nicest people I knew. She deserved whatever would make her happy.
“You can tell me. I’m your best friend.”
I winced. No matter how I justified it, I was keeping stuff from her. In my defense, I hadn’t meant to kiss Alex and honestly, I didn’t want to do it again. So I told her about Drew’s jealousy and about his comment this morning and how much it had hurt my feelings.
She scrunched one corner of her face like she was thinking. “I don’t ever see him act like that with anyone but you.”
“Oh great,” I sighed. “I bring out the absolute worst in him.”
She shook her head. “I think he’s jealous.”
“Jealous? You think he was jealous last summer too?” I huffed as I spoke.
But Millie gave me another raised eyebrow look with her mouth slightly parted. “Yeah,” she said. “I do. You weren’t exactly subtle about your crush on Alex. How did it feel to watch Alex with Tiffani last year?”
My jaw went slack. She was right. It wasn’t in my personality to directly confront people who were hurting me but I hated watching them together. “It was torture.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “And I am sure it was completely obvious that I liked Alex. Subtlety isn’t always my thing.”
“Nope, that is what I love about you.” She gave me a little hug. “And Drew likes it too. Us introverts need someone a little out there to pull us along.”
I blinked. Because it made so much sense. Alex and I were always competing for bubbliest. But Drew was more than happy to let me take the lead and sing at the top of my lungs. He was the guitarist when I sang at the top of my lungs. And I loved his soulful side, it brought out this thoughtfulness in me that I didn’t always tap into.
A knock at our screen door interrupted my thoughts. Drew and Alex had arrived and as Millie and I stepped out into the night, I was really glad we’d had that girl talk. Somehow my mind was clearer. “Thank you,” I whispered to her as we headed for the door.
“Anytime,” she whispered back, scrunching her nose a little.
As we started walking down the path, Millie and Alex naturally began walking ahead. Funny how we always paired off that way. But I sped up. “Alex,” I tapped him on the shoulder. “Do you think we could talk for a minute?”
I heard Drew suck in his breath behind me.
But Alex gave me a lopsided grin. “Sure.”
Millie fell back, giving me a wink.
It was time for me to pull on my big girl pants and talk with Alex.
Chapter Eleven
Drew
I watched Chloe walk off with Alex and my entire body clenched, jealousy rising like bile in my throat.
Millie fell back and started walking next to me. She didn’t say anything which was fine with me. I needed time to process Chloe and Alex’s tete-a-tete.
They were going to start dating. Because of my kiss. And I had to be all right with that. Because they were both my friends and it wasn’t their fault that I couldn’t keep my lips to myself. I mean, she’d been singing and I just got caught up in the emotion of it. It had been awesome. Man, I was an idiot.
“Who do you think will talk first?” Millie asked out of nowhere. “Chloe or Alex?”
“What?” I jerked my head around, surprised by her comment.
“You and me could probably go hours without saying anything. Which is cool with me. But them? Not so much. I wish I was close enough to hear who managed to beat the other out.”
I laughed, really laughed, and a lot of my angst evaporated. How some guy hadn’t snapped up Millie was a mystery to me. I mean we were too much alike to date, but seriously. This girl was a gem. Nice, thoughtful, intuitive. And Alex had been right, she’d grown into a beauty. “I don’t know. They are so alike it’s scary.”
“Totally. They’d make a terrible couple.” Millie winked at me then.
“You think?” A little hope swelled in my chest. I’d thought that all along but if her best friend thought so, maybe Chloe would see that too.
“Absolutely,” she grinned. “If they were together, they’d likely explode from all the enthusiasm.”
“Please don’t say Alka Seltzer,” I groaned as I dipped my head, rubbing my eyes with the heel of my hands. “I’m going to hell for that.”
She chuckled. “You are, and if you’re smart, you will never say anything like that to Chloe again.”
“Noted,” I replied, wincing. I’d been dumb enough to use the phrase just this morning. “I know I was a jerk and I’ve learned my lesson, I swear.”
“Really?” Millie’s gaze narrowed. “Chloe told me about earlier.”
I let out a long sigh. Not at Millie. At
myself. “I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”
“Maybe.” She shrugged. “You definitely have to learn how to control your jealousy. That stuff is toxic and it pushes people away.”
I stopped. How did Millie know I was jealous? “What?”
“It’s completely obvious that you got upset every time she flirted with Alex.” Millie stopped and turned to me then. “To me anyway. I don’t think it was as clear cut for Chloe. In case you haven’t noticed, Chloe doesn’t have a ton of experience.”
I knew that she didn’t. It’s why I had agreed to keep things in the friend zone to give her time to figure things out. At least until I had gone and kissed her. “Yeah, I get that. I’m trying to go super slow, not overwhelm with dating, just keep in the friend—“
“Actually, that’s not what I meant. This would probably go a lot more smoothly if you were just honest with her.”
I swallowed a lump in my throat. It made so much sense. I didn’t know if I was ready to tell her about my fear that she’d never take me seriously, but I should at the very least tell her about the kiss. “Honesty, huh?”
Millie gave me a wink. “Honesty.”
Man, this was going to suck.
* * *
Chloe
I walked next to Alex, trying to find the words. I really needed to start practicing this stuff. Not planning ahead was a flaw I seriously needed to correct.
Even stranger was that Alex hadn’t said a word either. He was as uncomfortable as I was and that never happened. I swear that guy wouldn’t sweat in a fire.
Searching around my frazzled brain, I finally came up with something to say. It was dumb but it would get the conversation started. “I am so glad we are friendlier this summer.”
“Me too,” Alex yelled in an ultra-enthusiastic tone. He thrust his hand up into the air to give me a high five. I relaxed instantly, my breath pushing out in a long exhale. I really appreciated how easy it was to be around this guy. I jumped up to smack my palm to his.
I landed close to him and reached out my hand to just grab his shoulder to steady myself. I don’t know what I’d expected but whenever I touched Drew, I got this sizzle along my skin. But with Alex there was nothing.
His hand came to steady me at the waist and still… nada.
How could I have responded to his kiss? It made no sense and I was trying to figure out how to ask. “I mean we are really great as friends. Completely on the same wavelength.”
“Yeah,” he raised an eyebrow at me like he couldn’t understand what I was talking about. Which made sense because he’d already agreed and here I was going on and on. I had to get to the point.
“So,” I drew the word out, stalling so that I didn’t have to say the next part. But I couldn’t wait any longer. I had dragged this conversation on forever. Well, maybe just a couple of minutes but it felt like forever. “I think maybe we shouldn’t you know, kiss or anything like that. Not that it wasn’t great but that sort of physical stuff just confuses everything.”
His eyebrows scrunched together. “What? Why would we kiss?”
“Wait…what?” I stopped walking as I stared at him. Did he really just ask that? “Didn’t you kiss me on the beach last night?”
Surprise made his eyes go wide. “No, of course not.” Then he held out his hands. “That isn’t an insult or anything. I think you’re great. Awesome. And we make great friends. Awesome friends…” he gave me an almost manic smile. “But we’d already established the friend zone and I don’t want to mess that up.”
My mouth hung open as I tried to process this. There were a ton of greats and awesomes in there so my confusion seemed warranted. “Seriously? You didn’t kiss me?”
“No,” he shook his head. “We went as friends. Really great friends. Awesome—“
“Stop.” My hands came to my hips. “If you didn’t kiss me then who…” I bit my lip as understanding began to dawn.
“Um…” Alex pressed his lips together, his hands locking behind his back as he rocked on his heels. “You don’t know?”
I did know. Of course I knew. Only one person could have made me feel like that when we kissed. Drew.
The only question that was left to ask was why. Why would he kiss me and pretend to be Alex? It wasn’t like we hadn’t talked several times today. Why wouldn’t he confess? But I already had a sneaking suspicion about that too. I brought my hands up to cover my mouth. It was just one more way he was trying to be cruel to me. It was one big how can I humiliate Chloe act.
I guess calling me names just wasn’t enough.
My throat closed up so tight I could barely breathe. Tears stung at my eyes. Why had I believed that guy had changed? He probably just wanted help with his songs and then he’d needed a ride and so he’d been playing nice to use me but he’d found a new way to torture me. I hated him.
I stomped down to the beach, not speaking to Alex at all. It was rude and it wasn’t his fault but I didn’t want to talk with anybody. If I said a word, I’d probably cry. A lot. Even now I could barely hold the tears at bay.
I plopped down in the sand, thinking that it would be wiser to just go back to my cabin. Hopefully I would be alone and I could cry myself to sleep. But I’d said I’d come and so I was staying. Because I was a good person like that. I treated my friends nicely.
Millie and Drew walked onto the beach laughing together. A stab of jealously nearly left me breathless. How come he could be nice to everyone but me? I shook my head, how could I still feel jealousy knowing what he had done? Knowing how little he actually cared for me.
I looked away to see Alex talking with another group of counselors. Laughing and joking, actually. Great, I couldn’t even pretend to have a really good time with him.
Millie and Drew sat down on either side of me. “Good talk?” Millie asked.
No, my brain screamed. I took a deep breath to steady my voice before I finally answered. “Yep,” The single word came out snippy. “How ‘bout you?”
“Fine,” Millie said. “Do you guys want a soda or something? I’m going to see if someone brought a cooler.”
“Sure,” Drew answered.
“Great,” I said as I watched her walk away. I desperately wanted to call her back and beg her not to leave us alone. My feelings were about to bubble over and it wasn’t going to be pretty.
Chapter Twelve
Drew
Something was wrong. I could see it in every line of her body. She was scrunched in on herself, her arms hugging her own waist. “Are you all right?” I asked softly. What had Alex said?
“Fine.” Her voice was short, clipped even, and full of an anger I didn’t understand.
Without thinking I made to put my hand on her shoulder. She jerked away like I had burned her.
“What’s wrong? You seem like you’re upset.” I wanted to wrap my arm around her but she clearly didn’t want to be touched.
I heard her draw in a shaky breath. “That is the kicker of this whole thing.” Her foot pushed around sand. “You, in some ways, get me the way other people don’t.”
Kicker? What was she talking about? My eyes narrowed as I tried to reason it out. “I’m missing something here.”
“Nope,” her head sunk onto her knees. “I’m pretty sure you knew exactly what was happening. It was me who was missing something. But I’ve figured it out now.”
Dread, cold and hard, filled the pit of my stomach. “What have you figured out?”
She didn’t answer right away and I knew it was bad. But then she raised her head, her eyes meeting mine. “Everything.”
My mouth turned down. I was getting a little sick of the cryptic messages that were keeping us from having a real conversation. “Well then I have clearly missed something because I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“How does it feel to be left in the dark?” Her eyes were slits as her lips pressed into a hard line. “You kissed me last night.”
Crap. She’d figured it out. And she didn
’t seem happy. “Was it that bad?”
“Deceiving me?” she practically spit the words.
My mouth hung open. That’s not what I had done. “I didn’t intentionally deceive you.”
“That’s a total pile of crap.” Her voice had risen and I looked around to see who else was around us.
“It is not,” I said much more softly. I felt like I had to tread carefully here. I’d never heard Chloe talk like this and it had me a little worried.
“Then why didn’t you tell me at any other point that it was you?” She was yelling now. That was just great. Exactly how you wanted to girl you liked to react when she found out you had kissed her.
It made my own anger spark. I was about to be rejected in a big way. “Because you thought it was your precious Alex. Always Alex.”
Huffing, she sat up straighter. “So what if I did?”
“What is it about that guy?” My brain buzzed and I rubbed my hands through my hair to shake it away.
“What is it about you?” she fired back.
“You lost me.” I stopped rubbing my own head. Where had tonight gone so completely off the tracks?
Chloe sat up straighter then, every line of her body rigid. “You’re the one who kissed me. Why do you insist on torturing me?”
“So now my kiss is torture? Seriously?” I straightened up too. “Of all the crap things to say.”
“I’m saying crap?” She went up on her knees, her hands coming to her hips. “You are the original trash talker.”
“I’ve already said I’m sorry for that.” I didn’t mean to but I found myself throwing my hands in the air. “How many times does a guy have to say he’s sorry?”
“A few more, I guess, because he keeps being a complete jerk.” She stood and I quickly followed her.
“You’re the one who is yelling at me and I am the jerk?” I was getting mad. I mean, all I had really done was kiss the girl I liked. Why was she acting like this?
She stepped up so she was super close and her face was tilted up to mine. The color was rising in her cheeks from the yelling and suddenly, I wasn’t mad anymore. I wasn’t angry at all. In fact, I wanted to kiss her again. Badly. “Because you haven’t been nice to me nor have you been honest.”
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