“Do you love him?” Willow asked.
“Of course,” Carrie said without hesitating.
“Then what does it matter if he has claws and fur? Just go get him. That man has saved your life more times than you can count, so cut him a break.”
Carrie laughed at Willow’s tough love. Her heart still pounded uncontrollably as she thought about going to confront Cage. But she knew she had to if she wanted to find out if they could ever work.
It hurt that she’d had to find out this way. The first of his secrets and he hadn’t even told her himself.
But he had come charging out in bear form to protect her from Tom. He’d always been protecting her.
If she were really honest, him being with the Aces was probably to protect her, too. Even though her pride ached from being tricked, she knew what she had to do.
She had to go find the man, or bear, that was hiding from her in the woods. She had to settle this once and for all.
13
“Cage?” Carrie called, lifting a low-hanging branch in front of her. She scanned the dark forest and then took out her phone and turned on the flashlight function so she could search more thoroughly.
She heard a low growl and the rustle of leaves and the sound of something large moving away from her.
“Cage, wait!” she called. “You promised you wouldn’t run again. Not this time. I shouldn’t have heard that from Willow. We both agree on that. But if we don’t talk now, when will we?”
She took another step forward into the dark. The forest was creepy around her, shadowed and slightly moving as leaves rustled in the wind and pine trees stirred around her, releasing their scent into the cool night air.
“Nothing about us has ever been normal. Why would this be? I just need you to tell me everything and let me decide if I can accept you. Please. Don’t run.”
She silently begged him not to go. Then she heard more rustling and a huff of breath.
“I’m here,” he said in a low, flat voice. “Don’t come any closer. We can talk like this.”
She sat on a log and looked at the lit phone in her hand. “I’d rather see you.”
“Not right now,” he said. “Unless you want to shine your light around here to help me find my clothes,” he muttered. “I’m naked.”
She grinned. “What?”
“I had to take my clothes off to shift. I didn’t want to walk back to the compound naked.”
“What were you doing out here anyway?” she asked, shining the light in his direction without looking. Not that she minded seeing Cage naked, but she got the feeling he was vulnerable right now in more ways than one and was trying to give him space.
Her head was still buzzing.
“Watching out for you, of course,” he said. “You thought I wouldn’t?”
She shrugged and let out a little sigh. “I guess not. I don’t know what to expect anymore.” She bit her lip. “You’re the bear I rescued. Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“Seriously?” he asked, walking into the light, dressed in a flannel shirt with a leather jacket over the top and dark jeans underneath. His feet were bare, and he noticed her looking at them. “I’ll find the boots later.” He sat next to her on the log, a foot or two over so they weren’t touching.
“You aren’t mad at me, are you?” she asked. “It isn’t my fault Willow outed you.”
“No, I’m only mad at myself,” Cage said. “For not finding the right time to say something.” He cocked his head to look at her, and his wild black hair fell over one eye. He was so tall and intimidating there in the dark, and his handsome face was illuminated and shadowy in the small amount of light from her phone. “You don’t hate me, do you?”
She clasped her hands together, intertwining her fingers, feeling the blood pumping in her hands. “I don’t know. I’m still figuring that out. I don’t like being lied to.”
He nodded. “I was that bear, and I wanted you from the moment I met you. My kind, we sometimes know instantly.”
She just looked at him, waiting for more explanation.
“But I have more to tell you, Carrie. Before you decide if you really want to accept me.”
“Like what?” she asked, freezing in place at the idea there could be more. “Wait, is it about the Aces?”
He nodded.
“You aren’t really one of them, are you?” she asked, finally seeing that with complete clarity.
He shook his head.
She let out a choked sound. “Then who are you?” she asked. “Do I even know you at all?”
“I think so,” he said, moving closer and taking her hand.
She was still too stunned to move out of his reach. And besides, she liked the feel of him, even as everything was so uncomfortable and new.
Could you know nothing about someone yet still know them?
Carrie wasn’t sure.
She still felt love welling in her when she looked at Cage. Still saw echoes of the boy she knew, the guy she’d been in love with, and the man that love had grown with in the past few days, as they got to know each other.
As she’d been thinking they got to know each other. Now she knew that wasn’t the truth.
“Why are you here?” she asked.
His face was stoic, set. “I was hired.”
Hurt sliced through her. Had he not even come here for her at all? She’d known it was too good to be true. Cage coming back after all these years, just for her. “Hired for what?”
“To get rid of the Aces,” he said flatly.
“By who?” she asked. “And why would they hire you?”
“That’s my job,” he said. “I run a private security company. Me and some other guys from the army.”
She felt like her heart was breaking. Had she just been a part of his cover? A part of getting back in with the Aces? He’d been at the bar and seen they wanted to win her over and take her bar, and he just wanted to win her over for that?
Was everything—fighting for her, rescuing her from Harvey, making her wear his jacket—all just part of his scheme? His job?
When they’d made love, she’d felt closer to him than anyone in the world. But now she felt lost.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” she asked.
He looked honestly angry with himself. “I couldn’t. It would have jeopardized everything I came here for. I wanted you to be safe.”
“But you came because you were hired,” she said flatly, scooting back a little from him and taking her hand away.
“Yes. Wait, no,” he said in frustration, his voice taking on a low growl that was probably characteristic of the bear inside him. “I came back because I wanted to see you. I wanted to protect you. The job just gave me the excuse to do it.”
She pressed her lips into a firm line, glad he probably couldn’t see how angry, how hurt, she was in the dark. “It was convenient. Kill two birds with one stone. No wonder you didn’t come back for so long. No wonder you didn’t care if you came back as an Ace and broke my heart.”
He grabbed her by the shoulders, holding her still. His serious eyes bored into hers. “I didn’t want to break your heart. I wanted to tell you everything. I wanted to finish this job and take you back to New York with me. I needed the job as an excuse because you’re too damn good for me, Carrie. How was I ever supposed to be brave enough to come back?”
“I was writing you. Of course I wanted you,” she said.
“I can’t for sure give you children,” he blurted out. “That’s probably the other thing you need to know. I know how much you’ve always wanted them.”
She blinked at that, momentarily stunned. She thought about it for a moment, because she didn’t want to speak too hastily. She wanted to be sincere. “I can always adopt or foster like Willow… Why can’t you have children, though?”
He shrugged. “It’s just rare for bear shifters. It’s hard to procreate, just like it’s tough for bears in the wild. I’m not saying it can’t happen. After a
ll, my mom had me. But I’m just saying you’d have better chances with a human man.”
“I don’t want my chances with a human man, Cage. I’m twenty-eight and single by choice. You’re all I’ve thought about. Honestly, the fact that you lied to me bothers me more than anything else. I need time to think about this.”
He nodded, his large shoulders slumping. Then he raised up and looked at her. “I have things to deal with anyway. I’m about to wrap things up with the Aces. I was planning to tell you soon. Tomorrow even. But then this happened.” He gave her a sincere look. “I really do want you, Carrie. It’s been hard to stay undercover and not let you in on it. I can explain everything better later, when you’re less hurt.”
“Or you can explain now,” she said. “Because right now, it looks like you came back because it was a job and just tried to win me over because it was convenient for your cover.”
“Convenient?” he asked. “To fight the Aces continually over claiming you? To always be on your side without blowing my cover?” He let out a bitter laugh. “No, you’ve got it all wrong. This job was to get rid of the Aces, for you. The one who hired me was Willow.”
Dammit. So Willow had known all along what Cage was, because they’d kept writing. But she hadn’t told Carrie. That was why Willow hadn’t looked angry when Carrie mentioned Cage being an Ace. Only confused.
“Dammit, if Willow knew, then why couldn’t I?”
“Because Willow isn’t around the Aces. Because if they got any idea you didn’t look at me as an Ace, you could have blown my cover. And because they threatened you if there was anything not above board about me. That’s why it’s important that from here on out, you stay safe. Shit is going to blow up tomorrow. I need to know you’ll stay here with Willow. Keep the kids inside. Keep the doors locked.”
She nodded. “What’s going on, though?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I may need to go to your bar. Apparently, my mother left something there with the old owner, the one who owned it before the guy you bought it from, when she was running away.”
“Fine,” she said. “I guess you could probably break in without me anyway. Private security, what is that anyway?”
“Anything from bodyguards to private investigation. We all have different skills. Anyone can hire us to protect them.”
“Makes sense,” she said in a deadened tone. “You always were good at protecting people. So that’s what you’ve been doing the past few years while you weren’t writing?”
“In part,” he said. “But I told you already. I thought it was fine because I was building a life for us. I wanted a comfortable life for you. A house. The works. I told myself that made it okay that I was waiting. I’m sorry I didn’t realize the silence was hurting you.”
“Such a man,” she said with a sigh. “Of course it hurt me. Those letters were all I had of you. If you were really thinking of me, I thought you’d send them.”
“But you still thought of me, right?” he asked. “Even when I wasn’t writing?”
She had, from fantasies to wondering what he was doing to imagining what would happen if he ever came back. The reality of it was nothing like she’d ever pictured.
Her heart ached, but it was good to have the truth, or most of it, out in the open.
“I did think of you,” she said. “But it wasn’t the same.”
“I thought of you,” he said. “I just kept thinking of how good it could be. Then when I’d make concrete plans, the reality of it would hit. What would you do when you found out I was a bear? What would you do when you heard about my job? Would it be good enough? Would it be everything you expected when you sent me out into the world to better myself?”
“I didn’t expect anything,” she said.
“Except you did,” he said. “You expected me not to be part of the Aces. You made me want more.” He reached over without looking at her and put his hand over hers. She didn’t move out from underneath him. She could sense he needed her. “Without you, none of it means anything.”
She was quiet. Even now, when he said something sweet like that, her heart pounded from the rightness of it.
But it also pounded with an ache from everything she’d found out. How much he’d been hiding while he’d been inside her. While she’d held nothing back.
“It’s a lot to take in,” she said. “I just need some time.”
He removed his hand and sighed, and she looked over to see him nodding in the dark. “I understand. It’s probably best while this Aces thing blows over anyway.”
“So you’ll be going back to the compound tonight?” she asked. “Is that going to be safe?”
He shrugged. “As safe as possible.” He cracked his knuckles. “I have a lot of skills I haven’t had to use yet.”
“I bet,” she said, letting a slight grin grace her lips. “As an ex-Special Forces dude.”
“Yup,” he said, sounding more confident again. Or maybe he was just soldiering up. Maybe that was that steely resolve she’d been seeing in him since he’d been back.
“So I stay here until when?”
“Until I call you and Willow and tell you it’s safe. Don’t answer the door for anyone.”
“When are you confronting them?”
“When I get back to the compound, I’ll call Bronson and Limes. My buddies. If they have something, which they should, I’ll confront the Aces in the morning. Tell them to get out of town before much bigger trouble can find them.”
She didn’t know what that meant, and she didn’t really want to know. “And if they don’t?”
“Then I’ll have to head over to the bar and find it myself,” he said.
She reached into her pocket and pulled her keys out. She slipped her bar key off the ring and handed it over. “Not that you need this, but just in case.”
He grinned wryly. “I never want to break into anything of yours, Carrie. I want you always to let me in freely.”
“Then just give me a little time to adjust,” she said. “Because right now, I honestly feel a little violated. I knew so little about you, and you were inside me.”
His brows dropped at that, as if he hadn’t thought of it that way, and he let out a heavy breath. “I’m so, so sorry, Carrie. I’ve been thinking so much about protecting you lately that I forgot to protect your heart. But I promise. Let me get through this and no more lies. No more secrets. I don’t want to hurt you again.”
She nodded. “No more secrets. No more lies.”
He stood. “I’ll walk you back. Most of the way.”
They used her phone to find his boots and then walked back into the clearing. When they were halfway across the meadow, where it would obviously be safe for her to go back the rest of the way on her own, she turned to look at him.
“Thanks for saving me from Tom.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking embarrassed. “No problem. I couldn’t help it.” The corner of his mouth quirked upward. “As crazy as I am about you, my bear is insane.”
Her eyes twinkled, and for a moment she forgot her hurt. “He does seem like a very nice bear.”
“To you, maybe. To everyone else, he’ll be a monster.” He pulled her close. “You needing space, does that mean I can’t kiss you good night?”
“I don’t know,” she said, folding her arms. She looked slowly up into his eyes, enjoying the warmth of his body around her. What she saw in his sincere blue gaze was the same as she’d always seen there. Love. Appreciation. Good humor with a steely resolve behind it. He was still the man she knew.
She just needed some time by herself to think it over. To get over feeling tricked and know if she did choose to take him into her life again, she was doing it without feeling coerced.
“I guess a good night kiss can’t hurt,” she said. “I mean, even friends can kiss, can’t they?”
He laughed. “I don’t know. I don’t want to be your friend. I mean, only your friend. I want to be your friend, your man, and your he
ro. And your lover.” He dipped his head and took her lips in a kiss that felt bathed in moonlight, his cool lips over hers, heat growing rapidly between them as they separated and embraced again and again.
Finally, he pulled back. “I love you, Carrie. Remember that while you’re thinking.”
She touched her hand to her lips. “Thank you.” She knew they weren’t the perfect words, but she needed time to say them again.
“And stay safe,” he said. “You have my number. Text if you need anything.”
“Of course,” she said. “And, Cage?”
“Yes?” he called, turning to look at her.
“Stay safe, or you won’t be able to hear my answer!”
He grinned, his teeth catching light in the meadow. “Of course,” he said. “Wild bears couldn’t keep me away.”
She laughed quietly to herself and watched as he walked away to the edge of the forest and then disappeared into it.
She was tired of watching his back. Tired of him going away. But this time, she actually wanted him to go. Needed time alone.
She headed back toward the house. There was a lot to go over with Willow.
14
Cage didn’t want to leave Carrie alone, but he knew she and Willow would be safe locked inside the house. No one in the Aces would know what had happened, even if they were back yet. Which Pete wasn’t.
He unlocked his phone and dialed Limes’s number, then brought it to his ear.
“Anything?” he asked as soon as the line picked up.
“Still working on it,” Limes said. “As for something on Harry’s bar, not finding anything. Also, I’m only finding log books from the past few years. Looks like they must have been on paper before that. Even then, seems like there are some activities they keep out of their ‘official’ accounting.”
Cage swore. “I thought so.”
“You’re going to have to go into the bar. Bronson and I can stay on the phone with you. Is anyone there?”
Bear To The Bone (Bear Claw Security 1) Page 14
