by Bonnie Vanak
If anything, she should have shifted into a wolf because of her Draicon half. Maybe it was emerging and manifesting itself in another form.
One thing was clear. The longer she stayed with Matt, the more her Fae powers dwindled.
Wind ruffled her long hair. She gripped the arms of the chair. This was a bad idea. If not for his insistence on sticking together, she’d have bolted for home. Demanded answers from Chloe. How could her aunt, who’d treated Tim like family, have pushed her out of the colony, as if Sienna were a stranger?
Grief shattered her and she slumped forward, fighting the emotion. Couldn’t allow these Draicon wolves to witness her loss of composure.
A bank of moss-covered magnolia and live oak trees marked the edge of a murky forest leading to the bayou. Matt had taken her along the path earlier, their footfalls crunching dry undergrowth. He’d thought the woods would prove soothing after the terrible images in the city.
She smiled a little. Such a considerate guy. For a wolf.
Matt came onto the porch, the worn boards not even creaking beneath his weight. He leaned against the railing, thumbs jammed into the waistband of his jeans. A hank of dark hair spilled over his forehead. He looked weary.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to ignore you. They insisted on talking, giving me a proper welcome.”
Gone was the confident, poised SEAL, replaced by a polite stranger who looked as uncomfortable as she did.
“Proper welcome?”
“A proper tongue lashing, more like it.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “All the females, my sister, her sisters-in-law, my sister’s mother-in-law, hell, I think they rounded up a posse to gang up on me and nag me about settling down.”
“Call in for reinforcements.”
He gave a slight smile. “They’re on the same side. It’s like fighting a war armed with water balloons.”
The back door banged again and Étienne came out, looking slightly sheepish. “I apologize, Sienna. We Cajuns are usually more hospitable. Seeing Matt, well, he threw us for a loop. We seldom get a chance to see him…give him a…”
“Lecture,” Matt said dryly.
Étienne punched his arm. “Man, I’ve had your back all these months you went AWOL on us, not even a postcard. Dealt with Cindy’s moaning and worrying about you and then after what happened in Afghanistan…”
He sighed and sat on a chair, hands on his knees. “It’s safe now. The females have said their piece and we can get down to business. Why are you here?”
Matt told him about the missing Orb of Light. Étienne’s jaw hardened. He stared at the forest.
“The Astra Orb wasn’t half as powerful as its twin, the Orb of Light. And when those demons got their hands on the Astra Orb…” He leaned forward, his blue gaze serious. “You know what will happen. How can I help?”
“Tell us where a Fae would hide the Orb. How can it be concealed?”
Étienne shook his head. “Your grandmother had hidden it for years. I only saw it when Cindy showed it to me.”
Sienna shot Matt a disbelieving look. “Your family stole the Astra Orb?”
“My grandmother did. She did it to keep it safe from a rogue Fae.” Matt turned his full attention on Étienne. “If the two globes are twins, then they can be hidden the same. How would you conceal it from demons? Ward it with magick?”
The Draicon rubbed his chin. “No. Warding magick is something demons can diffuse and easily find. The spectral traces would be like glow sticks in the dark. I’d shrink it. Make it smaller and less obvious. Blend it into something that a demon would have trouble flushing out.”
“Hide it in plain sight,” she suggested. “They’d be searching for a hiding place, so why not put it in the open, but disguised? Part of the human landscape, something a demon wouldn’t even guess at. If I were Tim, that’s what I’d have done. Use my powers to conceal it, but keep it close at hand.”
Both men turned toward her. Étienne looking surprised, Matt thoughtful.
“This Fae, he wanted to meet with you after hours?” Étienne asked. “Then he wanted your help. He wanted to confess.”
“But he knew they were watching him,” Matt mused. “He kept insisting the Orb was safe now. Hidden.”
“Oh, dear goddess,” she rasped. “The purse. There has to be a clue on the purse where he hid the Orb. It must have something, some message he knew I could read.”
A hard edge lined Matt’s jaw. “No. Not a clue. The Orb is on the purse itself. That’s why Tim said it was now safe.”
Sienna raced back upstairs to the guest bedroom, retrieved the purse and came downstairs.
“The Orb of Light reacts to anything Fae. Try touching it,” Étienne suggested. “If the Orb is concealed in the purse, it will glow.”
She ran her hands over it, desperate to sense anything.
Nothing. No hidden runes, no spark of light.
Matt crouched down beside her. “Maybe there’s too much Draicon influence here. Take it farther away from the house to a more natural setting.”
They walked several yards from the house to a pretty garden filled with purple and yellow flowers. Sienna sat on a decorative bench in the center.
“Concentrate. You can do it,” he encouraged. “Open all your senses. Smell the forest of your home, hear the sounds of the Fae gathering…remember…”
Energy pulsed beneath her questing fingertips. Closing her eyes, Sienna held the purse in her hands, willing her Fae senses to the surface. She opened herself to the images of the past.
A tingle raced through her fingertips. Heart racing fast, she concentrated. Words danced in her mind. Old Sidhe.
Then just as quickly, the images vanished.
Matt regarded her with a mixture of sympathy and disappointment. Sienna let the purse fall from her lap and rubbed her arms.
Tension knotted her stomach. “I have to return home. Reconnect with my Fae self. If the Orb is hidden in this purse, I’ll find it.”
If nothing else worked, the Fae could find the Orb. But the thought filled her with sudden dread. If she needed help to find how Tim concealed it, wouldn’t that only prove she was just a half-breed?
Maybe she could never return home. The thought was so horrible, it put a heavy pressure on her chest.
He rubbed his jaw. “Not an option. Not now. Can’t you take the purse to the woods, concentrate harder?”
Typical man. Concentrate harder. Go someplace else. Easy solution. Nothing was easy for her when it came to the Fae life. Not anymore.
“Look, this isn’t like fixing a car,” she grated out. “It’s this house, this land, these people, you. Draicon all around me. Every moment I spend with Draicon, I lose my Fae powers.”
“And yet you are half Draicon.”
“A half I don’t like to admit.”
His jaw turned to stone. “Sienna, accept what you are. You keep denying your wolf half, your wolf magick. You can’t deny what happened on the road. That wasn’t Fae.”
She couldn’t, but neither could she embrace her Draicon half. If she did, it meant total and complete shunning from the colony. The thought of being alone, alienated and without a place to call home was unbearable.
An image came to her…the lonely, wild mountains of her home. Snow-dusted mountains, the eerie call of elk in the fall, the miles of rich forest. “You claim I’m denying my Draicon half, but what about you? You’re a wolf. Yet you loathe being around your pack, and you don’t shift much. I’ve never seen you exercise your magick. You rely more on that—” she jabbed a finger at the gun he wore “—than you do as a Draicon. Even around your family, you remain armed. You’re more SEAL than wolf. Why, Matt?”
His jaw tensed to rock. White lined the edges of his mouth. He stood, brushing off the back of his jeans. “I’m going for a walk. Keep concentrating. Maybe if you keep acting like a Fae, not giving a damn about considering others, it will come to you.”
Her stomach churned as she watched him storm off, a man in a leathe
r jacket, weapon at his side. Then she blinked, and iridescent sparks shimmered.
No longer a man. Or a SEAL. A muscled gray timber wolf stood in his place. The wolf stood in proud silence for a moment, giving her a mocking grin. Then it loped off toward the forest, not looking back.
* * *
Lungs squeezed out each breath, the pads of his paws hitting the soft ground as he ran. Scents of squirrels and rabbits invaded his senses. Matt ignored them, the man screaming inside with every pounding heartbeat.
She was right, oh, damn, she was right. And it hurt to know the truth.
He’d turned his back on his family, on his heritage, on his damn powers! All because he was afraid.
Afraid of being what he was—a wolf. A wolf bonded to his family and pack. And with that kinship came heavy responsibilities.
He’d been reminded of them, several times, ever since setting a boot inside the Robichaux house. His mother, father. Cindy. Even the damn Robichaux parents. And Étienne, his main support.
They thought he was a regular SEAL. No one knew of the existence of the Phoenix Force. Being a Draicon and a SEAL had blended together so well, he’d never considered another life. Never thought the day would come when he’d have to face the haunting truth.
He couldn’t be a SEAL forever. And settling down, mating and producing offspring…how could he stay in the military? It was one thing for humans, who faced their own challenges of bidding goodbye to wives, husbands and children when they served overseas.
For a Draicon, his loyalties would be always torn between duty to country and team and duty to family and pack.
Matt leaped and snapped at a dragonfly skirting the air.
For years, he’d served the teams in blissful ignorance, sticking close to the unit and substituting it for his Draicon pack.
Pressure to quit had been tempered with the knowledge Matt was saving lives and keeping their country safe from enemy operatives, both human and paranorm.
Now a different pressure hounded him.
Guilt.
It ate through him like acid. He’d accepted the fact he could die in the field, slain by a bullet or a blast from a demon. But he wrestled now with the knowledge that if he died as a SEAL, no one would remember him.
He’d become a wraith, like Adam. His memory would be Matt, the happy bachelor Draicon.
Dying in a car crash, maybe.
None of their team had ever died. Until Adam. And then the grim reality of their ghostlike existence had crashed down.
He needed the team. Needed to be a SEAL. But he needed something else, as well, and meeting Sienna, spending time with her, had brought it raging to the surface.
He cared for her. Hell, the night they’d fallen into each other’s arms, and nearly made love…
Growling, he ran faster, heading down the worn path leading to the bayou. At the bayou’s edge, he scented something sharp and unpleasant. His senses warned he wasn’t alone. He lowered his head, sniffed the ground and began loping along the waterline, trying to flush out the unfamiliar scent threading through the normal swamp smells.
He scented a familiar male behind him. Matt ground to a halt, paws digging into the soft earth, and whirled, jaws snapping.
The large gray wolf behind him skidded to a stop. Black alpha markings lined its proud muzzle. It grinned, tongue lolling out.
Matt shifted into his human form, waving his hands and clothing himself by magick.
“Damn it, Étienne, you more than anyone else should know not to sneak up on me.”
His brother-in-law shifted back, as well.
“I caught wind of something foreign. Slightly metallic, tinged with something burned. When did you last ward this land?”
“Last month. Shield is a little weaker here, doesn’t hold as well because of the swamp water. Something about natural decay.”
“Ever check for intruders?”
“Always.” Étienne’s gaze went dreamy. “But it’s safe here. I brought Cindy here for a miniescape last week. That metal smell is probably the grill we used while we camped.”
Matt raised a brow. “Camping?”
A twinkle sparked in his brother-in-law’s eyes. “When you have kids, you’ll see. You grab every opportunity you can to be alone with your mate. I’m fairly sure we made another one last week.”
Children. Family. Gods. Sinking against the trunk of a maple tree, he sat. Étienne joined him.
“You always liked this trail. Good for a long run.”
“I plan one tomorrow.”
“Good. Get it out of your system. You know I’m talking about the woman.”
He opened his mouth to deny it, saw his face. Nodded brusquely.
“She’s got you in knots, and your balls in a vise. It’s a great feeling, and it sucks at the same time.” His brother-in-law picked up a decaying leaf. “It’s not us, Matt. Not the females nagging you to settle down. It’s her. Sienna. You’re falling for her, hard and fast.”
“Don’t want to talk about it.”
“Then let’s talk about something else. The Orb. How are the demons using the intel?”
When Matt told him, Étienne crumbled the leaf. “The unit has to be protected at all costs, Matt. The demons had a taste of the Orb’s power. They’ll do anything to get the real deal. That Fae is a damn fool for thinking he could trick them.”
“Was. The Fae paid with his life.”
“Listen to me.” His voice was low and urgent, a sharp contrast to the peaceful woods. “If you find the Orb, you know it’s not over. You can’t rely on the Fae to guard it.”
“I know.” Matt stretched his legs out. “Sienna thinks she’s going to march it back to her people, and they’re going to host a parade for her, and welcome her back. But my orders—”
“Are different.” Étienne gave him a look far older than his years. “And she doesn’t know.”
“She won’t know. She’ll show it to her people, and regain her place in the colony, and then I’ll destroy it. I also have orders to take her memories when we’re finished. She won’t remember anything….” He drew in a deep breath. “Even me. I’ll be a total stranger.”
“Merde. There’s no way around it?”
“Not that I can see.” His chest compressed at the thought of Sienna’s shining face, her earnest expression, shadowed by fear as he went to wipe out all recollection of their time together….
Étienne clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Cheer up, man. You’ll find a way. I know you. You’re a stubborn SOB who never gives up.”
But this time, he knew the cards were stacked against him. He didn’t have a choice.
When the mission was over, Sienna would never know he existed.
I can’t fall for her, he thought desperately. We have to keep our distance. Because he knew what would happen eventually. He wouldn’t be part of her life ever again after he took her memories. It would be as if he’d died.
Without being in her life at all.
Chapter 8
Sienna didn’t want to be part of a big, happy Draicon family. But the Robichaux clan, with their friendliness and warmth, left her no choice.
They’d pulled her into the kitchen to prepare a huge meal of crayfish and vegetables. When Cindy found out Sienna liked greens, she made Étienne dash to the market. Sienna had sat at the worn oak table, snapping fresh green beans while the children helped. More beans fell on the floor than into the bowl, but no one cared.
Matt’s family was loud, argumentative, and the males arrogant and yet tender. She found herself softening toward them. They weren’t aloof like her people, or ready to ostracize because of blood. They’d welcomed her, half Fae and all, into their home with open arms.
She’d hated the Draicon for so long, it was hard to admit the truth. The wolves were tight-knit and it felt more comfortable cracking beans in their kitchen than chanting spells around the firelight in the colony.
She fit in here.
At home, she did not.
She refused to feel sorry for herself. Somehow, she’d find her place in the world. The most important thing was keeping the Orb safe. Her needs came second.
A soft sound across the hardwood floor made her go still. When the bedcovers rustled, she attacked.
“Ow!”
Snapping on the bedside light, she stared at Matt. Barefoot, dressed only in a pair of low-slung fleece pants, he rubbed his side where she’d slammed him.
“You carry a hard punch, Miss McClare. Remind me to give a warning next time.”
His crooked grin sent a funny flip-flop through her stomach. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Came to check on you. I thought you might feel alone, all the way up here.”
“Check on me by sliding into bed with me?”
Matt rubbed his rumpled hair. “Was checking to make sure you had enough blankets. Gets mean cold in the attic. Even if you sprinkle plenty of pixie dust around.”
He looked so sexy, his arms layered with thick muscle, his gaze sharp with sexual need. Sienna’s heart pounded. Need arrowed through her, sharp as glass.
“And I know this house, how it creaks.” He glanced at her. “How uncomfortable you might feel, in a den of wolves.”
The pride she’d worn slipped off like a silk robe. Sienna looked deep inside herself and felt ashamed. She seldom apologized, but knew she’d hurt him earlier. “What you said about me being Fae, and Draicon, it’s hard for me to admit I’m half wolf. And that was no reason to lash out at you. I’m sorry I made those jabs at you.”
“It’s true.” He walked to the octagonal window. “You only said what’s obvious to my family. They pointed it out, as well.”
Ouch.
“So you shifted to prove me, and them, wrong. And ran.”
“Yeah. It felt good, running as a wolf.” A wry grin tugged his mouth to one side. “Hard to do on base. Might raise a few brows.”
Moonlight glinted his inky dark hair, sharpened his profile. He looked aloof and distant, but she sensed a deep vulnerability.
