by Emery, Lynn
“Are you calling me a prostitute?” Lanessa screamed at him. She balled her fist up so tight the knuckles were pale.
“And as for my family, you love showing up at all the best parties, hanging on to a St. Romaine. All I’ve been to you over the years is a wallet and a trophy date. I want more, Lanessa.”
“This is unreal! I’ve been better to you than any woman.” Lanessa took a step back from him. “You should be grateful—”
“You really don’t get it, do you?” Alex said. He swung his arm out for emphasis and knocked over a row of small African wood sculptures on the table behind the sofa. Both were so angry, they did not notice the racket it made.
“How can you act like this?” Lanessa shouted in a tearful voice. “I can’t believe it!”
* * *
Jade started up the stone walkway to Lanessa’s front door. She was still humming a love song that had played on the radio in her Camry. Loud voices made her stop for a few moments. Was that coming from next door or from Lanessa’s house? Then she recognized her sister’s voice raised in anger. A shadow, it was a female form, moved behind the light beige panel that hung between the drawn-back draperies of heavier dark green material. A larger figure swung out in aggression. Jade did not wait for more. She ran and pounded on the front door.
“Lanessa, are you alright? Open this door,” Jade shouted. She pulled on the doorknob then struck the wood with the flat of her hand.
“What’s wrong?” The man next door stopped in the act of putting out the garbage. He dropped the bag then crossed the lawn in long strides.
“I think Lanessa’s in trouble—” Jade’s voice trembled “—maybe we’d better call the police. Something is very wrong.” She banged on the door again. “Lanessa, can you hear me?”
The door jerked open. Lanessa swayed just a bit to the left then right. “What in the world is going on here? Somebody get murdered or something?”
“Are you hurt?” Jade rushed forward and examined her from head to toe.
“’Course not. Hey, Terry.” Lanessa waved at her neighbor with a crooked smile.
“Hi, Lanessa. Party must have gotten out of hand— again.” He shook his head then went back to his house. He mumbled something to his waiting wife, and they both went inside.
“I heard angry voices. It sounded like a fight.” Jade looked around at the room. Her eyes narrowed when she saw Alex picking up the table. “Just what happened in here?”
“A little spat that got out of hand,” Lanessa muttered into a glass. She drank down the last drop and went to the bar for more.
“How dare you!” Jade faced him. “Lanessa, you should press charges against this—”
“Jade, you’ve got it wrong.” Alex’s eyes went wide with shock as he realized what she was thinking.
“I don’t think so, Alex.” Jade pointed to the windows. “The draperies were open. You hit my sister.” She stabbed a finger at him.
“Forget it, Jade.” Lanessa rubbed her eyes. She dropped her hand. Her eyes were red and glassy.
“Despite everything, I care deeply for Lanessa. I would never do anything to harm her.” Alex stared at Lanessa even though he spoke to Jade. “I never raised a hand to Lanessa. Never.”
“Unbelievable. You could go onstage with that act,” Jade snarled at him. “Lanessa, tomorrow we’re going down to the district attorney’s office.”
“No,” Lanessa said in a weary tone. “I said forget it. Alex is right. Nothing happened. It’s over, right?” She stared back at him with tears rolling down her face.
“Yes, it is. I didn’t want it to end like this, Nessa. If you’d only—” Alex took a step toward him.
Jade blocked his path. “Get out. She’s lucky to be rid of you.”
Alex sucked in air. He threw up both hands. “All right. Goodbye, Lanessa. Think about what I said...please.”
Lanessa turned her back to him. “Yeah, sure.”
“She won’t need to call you. Now if you don’t leave, I’ll call the police myself.” Jade stomped over to the front door and yanked it open.
Alex paused before walking out. “You need to open your eyes, Jade. Lanessa needs help. Serious help.”
“Yeah, and dumping you is a big step in the right direction.” Jade glared at him. She slammed the door when he was barely outside. “He’s got some nerve acting righteous. You really need to haul his behind into court.”
“Hey, that’s more trouble than he’s worth. I don’t need him always criticizing me. To hell with him.” Lanessa put her head down on the bar and sobbed.
Jade crossed to Lanessa in two quick strides and embraced her. “I know what it’s like having a man who constantly browbeats you. He’s got to make himself feel big by making you feel small.” She rubbed Lanessa’s back.
“He’s right, you know. I’m no good,” Lanessa wailed. She slumped against Jade for support. “No good.”
“Now you listen to me, Lanessa Elise Pellerin Hampton Thomas you’ve got more going for you in the tip of one little finger than ten of him.” Jade put a finger under Lanessa’s chin and forced her to look up. “You got that?”
Lanessa only nodded. She put her head back on Jade’s shoulder. “I haven’t made good choices though. Even you’ve told me that before.”
“Hey, I married Nick Guillory. I could be crying my eyes out right along with you if I think about it too long,” Jade quipped. “The point is we all make mistakes. It doesn’t mean we’re bad people, Nessa.”
“You know, Mama is right. You’re the smart one.” Lanessa gave her a weak smile.
Jade went to the guest bathroom and came back with a box of tissues. “Here, wipe your eyes. Let’s go down to Catfish Town to the Creole Cafe.”
The new favorite late-night hangout in the downtown area stayed open all night serving cafe au lait, beignets and other goodies. Lanessa loved going there. Jade hoped this would help lighten her sister’s mood. But Lanessa shook her head slowly.
“I don’t feel like being around people right now. You go on home, I’ll be okay.”
“You shouldn’t be alone tonight. I’ll stay with you.” Jade did not like the pale, shaky way she looked. “I’ll fix us some nice herbal tea.”
“No, Jade. You’ve done enough for me. Go on and get some rest. You have to get ready for your trip.”
“Hey, you know how obsessive-compulsive I am. I’ve got everything ready— so I’m staying.” Jade started for the kitchen.
“Jade, just leave me alone! I don’t need a babysitter,” Lanessa said, her voice high pitched and tense. She took a deep breath at the surprised, hurt expression Jade wore. “I’m sorry; my nerves are stretched to the limit. Please, I need time to get myself together. I’ll call you tomorrow, I promise.”
“Sure. I understand.” Jade kissed her on the cheek.
Lanessa hugged her tight. “Thank you, little sister, for being here for me. I do love you.” Her eyes filled with unshed tears.
Jade touched her face. They had never talked about their feelings like this before. Not even through both of their bad marriages. “I love you, too, big sister,” she whispered. “One thing about it, Nessa. You’ve always been straight up with me. I’d wrestle alligators for you, girl.”
“Oh, now don’t get carried away.” Lanessa brushed back her thick hair. She wiped her eyes with a wad of tissue. “Go get your rest. You’ll need it to whip more good lovin’ on that man.”
“What makes you think...” Jade felt like a teenager caught with birth-control pills by her parents. “I mean—We, uh...”
“Jade, come on. You glow whenever he’s mentioned. That look means one thing—good sex.” Lanessa stepped back and put both hands on her hips. She examined a flustered Jade for several seconds. “Whoa! Make that great sex!”
“Everything about us seems to fit. Know what I mean?” Jade gave up on the attempt to conceal how serious things between she and Damon had become.
“Yeah, in tune, on the same wavelength kinda t
hang,” Lanessa said with a sad smile. “I’ve felt that way only once in my life.”
“But it worries me, Nessa. Look at Alex, a perfect example of how wrong I can be about men. Not to mention Nick. Maybe Damon is too good to be true.”
Jade went over their times together in light of the scene she’d witnessed between Alex and Lanessa. Alex was—or appeared to be—a kind, considerate man. Nick had acted as though he cared about her, desired her above all women. Could she be deceiving herself again?
“I see those wheels turning.” Lanessa put an arm around Jade’s shoulders. “Now listen up, what did Mama teach us as kids?”
“To eat our vegetables and never wear chipped fingernail polish because it makes you look cheap,” Jade quipped.
Lanessa gave her a playful swat on the arm. “Funny. She drilled into us was that we should never condemn a group of people for what a few have done. Even though she was talking about race relations, it applies to men.”
“Lanessa, get serious. I’ve heard you dogging men out a hundred times at least.”
“True, but that was just girl talk. Besides, I’ve grown up since then.” Lanessa lifted her nose.
“Yeah, right,” Jade retorted. “Ouch!” She jumped when Lanessa pinched her arm.
“I’m older and wiser, so pay attention.” Lanessa sat down with her on the sofa. She wore a solemn expression. “Don’t be too quick to judge Alex harshly. I’ve given him good reasons to want out. So give this man a chance, and don’t compare him to Nick for goodness’ sakes.”
“Maybe you’ve got a point. But—”
“Hey, don’t argue with me, missy. Now go home and dream of all the ways you can make that fine man wanna holler.” Lanessa gave her a sassy wink.
“Since you insist on kicking me out, I’ll go.” Jade gave her a hug. “And thanks, Nessa.”
Jade thought about Damon driving home, through her shower and as she sat before the television. She did not see any of the programs that flashed by as she punched the channel button on the remote. Lanessa was right. Damon should be considered based on his own actions, not some other man’s. And so far his actions had been right on time. Every touch and every word told her he was the one. Now all she had to do was fight down that nasty voice of suspicion that kept saying not to believe it. A musical refrain from the television caught her attention. An R&B singer sat at a piano crooning a romantic ballad as though it was aimed at Jade.
For a magical moment, this was Jade’s song. She sat caught in a haze of memory at the wonder of discovering how beautiful making love could be—a discovery Damon had led her to with sweet tenderness. At the last note of the song, Jade sighed. She no longer had a choice in the matter. Her body and heart were on automatic pilot. Destination Damon Knight.
* * *
“Hey, now,” Jade called out in a cheery voice to her friend. She sat in a booth at Uncle Joe’s, drinking a diet cola. “Haven’t seen you in a while. New love keeping you busy, eh?”
“You should talk. At least we haven’t let our Friday nights fall by the wayside. But other than that, you’ve been scarce.” Shaena ordered then handed the menu back to the waitress. “What’s up?”
“Just rushing around trying to get ready to leave on Sunday. Every time I think all the loose ends are tied up, one of ’em gets untied. It’s so aggravating.” Jade gave a resigned shrug and sat back with a contented look.
“Well, you look awfully mellow. I know how much you crave order. Or maybe this is the new you.” Shaena lifted an eyebrow.
“Lanessa is right. I should learn not to get so intense about things. Take it as it comes.” Jade took a sip of cola.
“You’re taking advice on life from Lanessa? Now I know your brain is fried from passion.”
“Lanessa has had her ups and downs, but she’s got some good ideas.” Jade shook a finger at Shaena. “And let’s not forget your track record.”
“Let’s do,” Shaena said with a grimace. “You’re right, at least. Lanessa got great divorce settlements from her mistakes. And then there’s Brad.” She shook her head in dismay.
“Oh, no, Shaena. Trouble already?” Jade tried not to think “I told you so” at the mention of the handsome white attorney with an attitude.
“His family and mine are not taking this well. His parents were cool but polite. But it’s his brother and two sisters who are being real nasty about it. And Thanksgiving at my parents’ house was a study in how not to entertain guests.”
“Not Mama Lula and Papa Jake. They’re so sweet.” Jade was truly surprised.
“Papa took one look at him and whispered, ‘Tell me this is a joke, baby.’ Mama kept apologizing for my sister’s kids being rowdy. She was so nervous around him, she just clammed up. It’s been truly awful.”
“Well, both your families just want the best for you. They’ll come around.” Jade tried to console her.
“I don’t know if what we feel is strong enough to withstand all this pressure. Then there are the stares and remarks from strangers.”
“Amazing, and to think we’re in the twenty-first century.” Jade gave a grunt of disgust.
“The sad bottom line is we may be history real soon. But this time I’m philosophical about it. I need to accept reality; true love and happy ever after is not in the cards for me.” For a few seconds the tough persona slipped, and Shaena seemed vulnerable.
“Now it’s my turn to lecture you. It’s time you examine if you want him enough to take the rough spots. Some serious soul searching is in order.”
“I want him bad, girl. I’m just so afraid he doesn’t want me enough to be shunned. This race thing is hard to take. He’s had people who were friends for years act distant. And it’s because of me.”
Jade took a deep breath. “Brad is going to learn just how much secure status he may give up. Most whites don’t have a clue until they cross the color line. On the other hand, Brad Pittman is not known for letting others dictate how he lives his life.”
“He is a rebel. That’s one of the things I love about him.” Shaena’s lips curved into a smile of affection.
“Then talk about what you two will face, I mean long term. From the way you sound, this isn’t just a dating thing. Sounds like the C word has come up.” Jade pursed her lips.
“Yeah, and he brought up making a commitment.” Shaena looked thoughtful.
“There you go. It may not be smooth sailing, but then what relationship is?” Jade stopped long enough to let the waitress put their food in front of them. “I’ve decided that love is a crapshoot, and there’s no way around it. So go for it.”
Shaena blinked at her, dumbfounded. “Jade, is that you?”
“I know, I know. It’s not easy, but I’m going to give this thing with Damon my best shot.”
“Then if you can, so can I.” Shaena lifted her glass. “A toast,” she said.
Jade held up her glass. “To giving love another chance.”
“And to wonderful, thoughtful, sensitive men,” Shaena replied. Their glasses clinked together.
“Hear, hear.” Jade took a drink.
“And sex hot enough to make you sing opera high notes at the top of your lungs.” Shaena wiggled her eyebrows.
Jade choked on the mouthful of diet cola. “Girl, you almost made me spit this stuff three feet.” Both of them giggled until tears flowed. Several minutes passed before they could look at each other without laughing hard.
Shaena patted a napkin to her forehead. “My, oh my, that felt good. I think we’ll need a sense of humor around the office in the next few months.”
“What’s up?” Jade took a bite of her broiled catfish skillet.
“Brad says there are a few tremors about several department programs, especially in Medicaid-funded services.” Shaena’s expression turned grave as she leaned across the table. “Your boss’s name keeps coming up. You got a whiff of anything stinky?”
Jade held her fork still in the act of taking another bite. “Nothing. Bill has b
een going strictly by the book. What exactly have you heard?” A lump of unease settled in her midsection.
“Nothing too bad about him. Just that maybe he’s being too nice to some of the staff left over from the previous administration. Brad says right now the talk is that he needs to reorganize more.”
“For crying out loud.” Jade frowned with indignation. “The man can’t perform miracles in a few months. Some of those folks have been in state government for years.”
“Shah,” Shaena whispered. She glanced over her shoulder then turned back to Jade. “Some folks from the fifth floor are one table over. You know how they are, ears like high-tech radar.”
“But you know what I’m saying is true,” Jade went on with no less heat but in a much quieter voice. “Bill really is working hard to follow all the rules. Even the ones that don’t make sense.”
“Hey, I’m just the messenger. I didn’t say I thought the guy was up to something.”
“And those that don’t make sense, he’s trying to change. We’ve been working our buns off. And this is the thanks we get!” Jade sat with a scowl, her meal forgotten.
“Will you take it easy? Brad says it’s no big deal right now.” Shaena continued to pop fried shrimp into her mouth even as Jade fumed. “It’ll all blow over probably. Being invited to Washington, D.C., Lang gets mucho respect for that.”
“And that’s another thing,” Jade jumped in again. “We beat out twenty other states to get one of the only seven grants nation-wide.”
“It’s one of the reasons they didn’t take it any further, the talk I mean.”
“Just who is they?” Jade said it as though “they” were beneath contempt.
“Brad would say only that they’re some of the big dogs, guys we underlings don’t see very often.” Shaena took a swig of her cola.
“Yeah, well, I’ll just bet they couldn’t say much more. Results speak louder than any rumors.”
“Which is why I said to take it easy. But still keep your head up.” Shaena pointed a French fry at her. “In my experience where there’s smoke, there’s a smoldering inferno waiting to bust out.”
