Losing Myself in You

by Heather C. Myers

  It wasn't long before he dropped his hand to support her waist once more, and thrust into her. Bridgette's nails sunk into Marcus's thick skin upon feeling him inside of her, but Marcus didn't seem to mind; in fact, if he was honest, it just enhanced the pleasure he was feeling of being inside of her again.

  Bridgette had never had sex this way before. She had always wanted to try it, but her select few ex-boyfriends either weren't interested in such a position or they couldn't hold her up. Her eyes were still open, though they were in slits, and she noticed that Marcus wasn't even straining to carry her weight. He was incredibly strong… and incredibly beautiful.

  It wasn't long before Bridgette felt herself reach her peak, and before she knew it, she released herself over Marcus as he continued to keep his pace. It was the sound she made coming when Marcus feel himself lose control of everything. He thrust up faster and deeper, wanting nothing more than to feel the very core of femininity.

  After a moment, Marcus merely held her until he slowly slid out of her, and then he gently set her back down on the floor.

  "We can't keep doing this," Bridgette murmured, her back still leaning against the wall for support. "And I'm not marrying you." That being said, Bridgette wanted nothing more than to keep giving herself over to Marcus but she knew she wasn't that type of girl. She couldn't keep doing this and she didn't want to lead him on.

  Marcus frowned upon hearing her words, pushing his brow down low. His eyes flashed dangerously into Bridgette's. "If you don't marry me," he drawled; his voice low and intimidating once again. "Then you won't marry anybody."

  Without warning, Bridgette's hand shot out and slapped Marcus across the face. The werewolf seemed surprised, and his hand went up to clutch his jaw, even though it hardly affected him when it came to pain. She said nothing as she disentangled her body from his and disappeared down the hallway. Marcus, again, didn’t try and stop her. All he could do was watch her go.

  * * *

  Chapter 24

  * * *

  It had been a few days, and Bridgette had yet to tell Kendall about what had transpired between her and Marcus at Nocturnal. Once she had left Marcus, she forced herself to dance with her friend as though nothing was wrong, but after a little while, she was over it. Kendall hadn’t even questioned it when Bridgette asked to go home. She had wanted to say something, wanted to get everything off of her chest, but she couldn’t figure out the proper way to do so. She couldn’t put her feelings into words when she didn’t know what she was even feeling. Also, for whatever reason, something inside her said it wasn't the best thing for her to do, especially when her superior kept bringing up the fact that she might be going back into the field. She didn't want to do anything to prevent that, because as much as she loved her job, she absolutely detested desk work. When she was younger, she had promised herself she would quit before she was forced to work in an office for eight hours a day, every day of the week. The only reason she continued to stay with the Nocturnal Defense Society was the chance that she would be sent back into the field.

  It was a Tuesday when that finally happened.

  "I know everything that has happened to you in the past few weeks must be rough for you," her superior, Bill, said after calling Bridgette into a private meeting that took place in his office. It was plain and boring, just like Bill. "And I commend you on your determination to get back out there. Although, as much as I want to, Bridge…"

  "What?" Bridgette asked, her fingers clutching the arms of her chair as she regarded her boss with eager eyes. She almost forgot how uncomfortable the chair was. "Have I done something wrong?"

  "No, no," Bill said, shaking his head. "I just feel uncomfortable asking this because… well because of everything that has happened. It seems Marcus Sterling is more powerful than we thought. I mean, obviously he has no problem turning a human –" He gestured at Bridgette with his hand. –"into one of them. It’s also completely illegal. We tried to charge him with embezzling, but this is much more prominent, and the matter is pressing. I understand one of the pack members tried to kill you by pushing you into a pack of hungry wolves?"

  Bridgette nodded. "Yes," she said, hesitating slightly. How did Bill know? Did Dr. Gupta say anything? "But Marcus saved me."

  "That's right," Bill murmured to himself. "He did, didn't he? See, that's why I'm worried about this mark on your neck. I know it gives you these feelings you wouldn't normally have. There's a connection between the two of you."

  "I'm sorry," Bridgette said, obviously frustrated at Bill's lack of information. He always did this; he always dragged things along. "But what does this have anything to do with me going back into the field?"

  "What I'm worried about," Bill said, his voice now firm. Bridgette had known Bill long enough to know that he was finally going to tell her what she wanted to hear. "Is where your head is. This mission doesn't involve simply arresting Marcus Sterling. We at the NDS have issued a Kill on Site warrant for him. An Alpha forcing himself on a human female, changing her nature? That’s essentially murdering her humanity and forcing her to live as something else. It’s unacceptable. It is imperative that we take him out and we are not sure if you can handle that. You would definitely be an ideal choice because you're already familiar with the layout of the mansion and we're hoping he might become distracted when he sees you."

  Bridgette felt her heart drop and for whatever reason, she felt incredibly disconcerted about the whole thing. Could she really take part in a plan that would kill Marcus?

  "So?" he asked her. "Are you ready to go back out in the field?"

  ---

  The only reason Bridgette agreed to partake in such action was because she might be able to warn Marcus. Yes, it was completely going against the NDS, and there really was no excuse for it, but something inside of her felt that Marcus didn't deserve to die. Though the two fought like cats and dogs, Bridgette knew that on some level, he cared about her, and she cared about him in return. She knew he didn’t mean to transform her. It was biological, chemical, not rational. Maybe if she could get away from the group, she could just warn Marcus with no one on her team none the wiser…

  By the time she and six other members of the Nocturnal Defense Society's field team pulled up to the mansion, Bridgette was sure Marcus could detect her in some way. Whether it was the thoughts tumbling in and out of her head, her rapidly beating heart, or even her scent, she wasn't sure. But if he knew she was here, he must know she wasn't alone. Suddenly, an idea sprang into her mind, and she quickly got the attention of her fellow agents.

  "Hey," she said, dropping her voice into a whisper. "I have a plan." Her team crouched down and surrounded Bridgette so they could listen to her. The mansion was a few feet away, the white entrance easily detected through the slivers of the trees. She knew guards were patrolling, knew she and her team were only free because Marcus probably gave them orders to do so. She waited until she had everyone's attention before continuing. "I know for an absolute fact that if I go in by myself, Marcus and his pack won't harm me in any way. The mark on my neck prevents that from happening." She wasn't exactly sure if that was the truth or not, but it sounded plausible, and as a result, she went with it. "I can go in by myself, maybe I could talk to him, distract him, while you guys surround the mansion so no one can go in or out."

  At first, her team didn't seem to agree that that was the best plan, but after another moment of convincing, Bridgette managed to win them over. It wasn't long before she was heading over to the front doors, her team already camouflaging with their woodland surroundings. Once she reached the door, she wasn't sure whether or not she should knock, go in… However, before she could contemplate a necessary means of action, the door opened and Marcus stood there, looking down at her with hard, hazel eyes and his jaw locked.

  "What do you want?" he asked. His gravelly was voice tainted with something Bridgette could not yet pinpoint.

  Instead of answering, Bridgette placed her palm firmly on his chest
and pushed him back so she could step inside the manor and quickly close the door behind her. Marcus looked like he was about to re-ask his question, but Bridgette took her hand that had been on his chest and placed her index finger on his lips.

  "You're in danger," she said, her voice just above a whisper. She wasn't sure what kind of technology her team had and wanted to take every precaution necessary. He raised a brow, indicating that she should continue. "They came here to kill you."

  Marcus looked as though he didn't believe her. "Your team is being ensnared by my pack as we speak," he said. "They only waited until you were safely out of the way. How am I supposed to believe you? You just walk away; you're always walking away from me." He seemed slightly offended by this, but his face refused to show it.

  "Trust me," Bridgette told him, and Marcus was slightly caught off-guard by the way Bridgette's eyes seemed to plead with his. She wasn’t one to bed, but she needed Marcus to understand how important this was. "This is your life we're talking about."

  "And you’ve come here to save it?" Marcus asked. "Come on, Bridgette, am I really supposed to believe that the NDS is threatening my life and you're here to save me? Why? Why would you come save me? I want an answer." He demanded roughly.

  "Because I care about you, all right?" Bridgette said sharply. She wasn’t quite ready to admit something so personal aloud, especially in front of him, but she had to convince him somehow. Marcus looked surprised, but the hardness in his face softened.

  Before either of them could speak, another wolf walked into the living room. "Marcus," the teenage boy said, his voice slightly breathless. "Marcus, we have the humans in the basement, like before. What should we do with them?"

  "Leave them for now," he said, his eyes never wavering from Bridgette's. "I will discuss terms and conditions with their representative here. Afterwards, I will give you orders."

  The boy nodded, his eyes wavering between the two, still unsure. However, he knew better than to argue with the Alpha, so he quickly disappeared.

  "What do you want?" Oddly enough, Bridgette's voice did not sound defensive or affronted, but rather hopeful, maybe even curious.

  "You," Marcus said, not as strained as it had been. "I want you to stay here. I want you to give this whole thing specific consideration. I promise I will not touch you if it is against your wishes. You will be a guest in my home, and if in two weeks you do not wish to marry me, you are free to leave. I will not stop you, and once you are gone, I will not follow you or come after you." Determination was etched into his features as he spoke, his words echoing through Bridgette’s mind.

  "I thought you didn't want to marry me," Bridgette said, her voice low once again. She was trying to read his eyes, searching for all of the answers she had yet to ask.

  "I thought you didn't care about me," Marcus countered, and masterfully hid a smirk by pressing his lips together and forcing his brows up.

  Bridgette was silent for a moment, hoping that her face wasn't red. "So what I'm agreeing to," she said, "is to stay here for two weeks as a guest in your house. It doesn't mean I'm going to marry you, and you'll release my co-workers from your house without any harm caused?" She looked at him with a pointed stare.

  "You have my word," he told her firmly, before sticking out his hand. "Trust me."

  The fact that he reiterated her words was not wasted on Bridgette. It took her only a moment before she nodded her head and placed her hand in his.

  "Okay," she murmured, shaking hands with him. "I agree."

  * * *

  Chapter 25

  * * *

  When Bridgette awoke the next day, she knew exactly where she was and why she was there. Her room. Not just a room she was temporarily staying at for an indeterminate portion of time, but her room. She wasn't afraid though, and oddly enough, Bridgette didn't regret her decision of turning herself over in exchange for her team. She owed Marcus that much, to try this unconventional relationship and to see where it went. She would even say she was curious.

  She threw her legs over the bed and slipped on a pair of black pants and a long sleeved shirt, plus some Converse shoes from the day before. Bridgette took her time brushing her hair, and after a moment's consideration, decided to leave it down. She didn't put on any make up save for some chapstick, and before she left, took a peek out of her window. What she saw caused her whole mouth to drop and her eyes to sparkle. It had apparently snowed the night before, and the forest that surrounded the manor looked like a literal winter wonderland. At that moment, she decided she would throw on a sweatshirt and go explore it. She loved the snow and if her job had permitted more time off, she would have taken full advantage of it. But, alas, the NDS was incredibly strict about vacation time and she never really got the chance to.

  Now, however…

  Before Bridgette could finish her thought, a knock on the door interrupted her. She had reached such a state of happiness that she didn't think twice about opening it, only to find Marcus standing there on the other side. His hair was as thick as ever, his sideburns climbing down to his chin. He was wearing a thin, long-sleeved shirt underneath his typical motorcycle jacket, jeans, and combat boots.

  "Good morning," he said, his lips quirking up into somewhat of an amused smile upon seeing her attire. "I notice that you're dressed for the outdoors. Have any plans I should know about?"

  Bridgette could tell he was teasing her, but she wanted to make sure he knew that she wasn't planning anything inappropriate. "No plans to escape today," she said, reaching up and patting him on the shoulder. "Sorry to disappoint you."

  Marcus chuckled, locking his hazel eyes with hers. "Actually, I wanted to know if you would like to accompany me for a walk around the grounds?" he asked. For some odd reason, Bridgette thought he seemed nervous asking her a simple question. Marcus Sterling never got nervous. "I was hoping to give you the tour of the grounds," he added, more for himself than for her.

  "Really?" Bridgette asked, pushing her brow up as another smile cascaded across her features. "I was just about to go and do that myself, but I would love some company, especially since you know the place."

  Marcus felt himself smile at her answer, and he nodded once, offering her his arm. She grinned and slipped her arm through his, and within a manner of moments, the two were outside, amidst the lightly falling snow. Marcus watched as Bridgette's face paled while her cheeks were simultaneously pinched red due to the vast temperature change, but she didn't seem too bothered by it.

  "Aren’t you cold" Bridgette asked, tilting her head up in his direction in order to catch his eyes. "I mean, look at what you're wearing. I'm wearing three layers and I'm still freezing. You're barely in a jacket and jeans."

  "I'm a wolf," Marcus explained as he tried to keep the obvious tone out of his voice. "My body temperature is naturally higher than a human's, more so than ever compared to a vampire's. I know that you must be cold, but to me, the snow only feels cool to me, rather than icy cold. So in answer to your question, no, I'm not cold." He gave her a wolfish grin that Bridgette couldn't help but smile at.

  "Does it upset you?" Bridgette asked in a quiet voice as he led her to the backyard. She avoided the back porch, where she was almost mauled by a pack of wolves, where Marcus had stepped in and saved her, and instead, turned her attention to the backyard. The forest had a pathway filled with snow that led into the woods. Tall trees with heavy leaves decorated with pure, white snow. It was quiet; a peaceful paradise. "What I mean is; do you wish the snow was colder to you? Snow is supposed to be cold and everything."

  Marcus pursed his lips together, cocking his head to the side. "You know, I've never thought about it," he murmured, before glancing ahead of him. "Oh, I want to show you something over here." He led her over to one of the first tall, thick oak trees located in the center of the first line of the group. There a heart was carved into the wood and initials were inside the heart. "This," he said, nodding to the tree, "is where my father proposed to my mother. And here h
e carved their initials into a tree. Above my grandparents' and my great-grandparents'. It's a tradition that's been long-standing in my family."

  "One day, your initials are going to be up there," Bridgette pointed out. She placed her hand on the tree and started walking around it, leaving Marcus to stare at the hearts that decorated the tree. She didn’t want to think about it. "Hey Marcus," she called out from behind the trunk. "Have you even been in a snowball fight?"

  "A wha-?" Before he could finish his question, Marcus was hit square in the face with a ball of snow. His mouth dropped open, clearly surprised at what she had just done. He rubbed his hand down his face and his lips quirked up in a smirk as his eyes glinted. "I don't think you realize, sweetheart, just who you're up against…" He leaned down and grabbed some of snow before molding it into an awkward shaped ball. Due to the fact that his senses were quite stellar, he could pick out her scent with ease, and before Bridgette knew it, she had ice slithering down the back of her shirt.

  Bridgette let out a shriek, causing Marcus to throw his head back and laugh in delight. Upon hearing this, Bridgette narrowed her eyes and knelt down. Compared to other wolves, she was definitely fast, just not fast enough. She threw the snowball at him, but he managed to dodge it with relative ease.

  "That's not fair!" Bridgette exclaimed, her hands behind her back as her lips contorted into a pout. "You have superhuman abilities. There's no way I can beat you."

  Marcus shrugged his shoulders and opened his arms as he began to walk towards her. "That's okay," he said, his lips quirking up into a smirk. "What counts is that you tried, right?" He wrapped his arms around Bridgette's shivering body, and immediately Bridgette felt warmth… and suddenly, without warning, Bridgette lifted her hand and smashed a snowball on top of Marcus's head.

  ---