by Belle Malory
Mom,
I’m going on a spontaneous trip. I don’t know when I’ll be back.
Please don’t worry. I’m fine. I’ll call as soon as I can.
Love,
Essie
“You okay, Estelle?" Lola’s eyes met mine in the rearview mirror.
“I’m fine,” I said, forcing a smile.
I wasn’t fine.
If everything they said was true and I was genuinely a descendent of gypsies, then I must really suck at it. I’d been a recluse almost my entire life. I didn’t know how to exist outside of my little bubble.
“By the way, I meant to ask you something. Why did you call me Sarah when we first met?”
“Serena,” Lola corrected. “It was the name I knew you by.”
“When was that?”
“My memories are still fuzzy, but I’d guess somewhere in the early eighteen hundreds.”
I saw her smile at me in the reflection of the mirror. “I knew you like I knew my own family.”
I contemplated on that, wondering about my past self, or rather past selves. I wondered what I was like, what kind of gypsy I used to be. It was weird knowing I’d lived lives outside of this one. I was probably someone who traveled and saw most of the world not constricted by the confines of a house. That girl must have loved life. I bet she was carefree, fiercely independent, confident of herself.
She must have been amazing.
We arrived at Union Station within the hour, mostly thanks to Gabe speeding the entire way. I found it ironic after hearing him mention he was a cop.
The place was empty, lifeless, not exactly how I imagined it to be. The architecture was intriguing though. A mixture of Spanish and Moorish designs on the outside with renovated, modern fixtures on the inside.
Rex retrieved our tickets while the rest of us waited in the lobby. I fidgeted anxiously the entire time.
“Why don’t we just keep on driving?” I asked Lola, assuming it would be just as fast. Probably faster, actually.
“None of us can know where we’re headed,” she explained. “Lina gave Rex her location earlier. He’s buying the tickets because his thoughts can’t be traced.”
“But won’t the destination be printed on the tickets?” I asked. “And won’t there be signs near our platform? For that matter, won’t someone make an announcement?”
“Don’t look and don’t listen,” she suggested, shrugging.
I was not subdued by her advice. At all.
I presented her with a look that said, “Your plan seems ridiculous”.
“If it happens, it happens. Just try not to pay attention.”
“I don’t know, Lola. It sounds a little farfetched for me to believe we can ride this train the entire way without knowing where we’re going.”
Rex walked up from behind, catching the last part of our conversation. “Any distance we cover without the trackers knowing will be worth it.”
Lola agreed with him, adding, “Make sure you plug yourself in when we board. They typically make an announcement before departing. Did you bring headphones?”
I nodded and opened the front pocket flap of my bag to find them.
“Good. Keep your music on till we’re moving and follow Rex’s lead.”
Right. Keep my music on. Follow Rex’s lead.
Why did it feel as if this was bound to be a disaster?
As I stood up, Rex moved to grab my bag. I yanked it away from him.
“I wasn’t trying to steal your stuff,” he said, narrowing his eyes in my direction. I realized then that he was only trying to carry it for me.
“Oh,” I mumbled awkwardly. “No worries. I got it.” I lugged the strap over my shoulder uncomfortably, waiting for him to move out of the way.
He sighed, shaking his head. Then he nodded towards Abby and said, “The dog has to be crated. She goes into cargo.”
“What? Why?”
“Not my policy, babe. It’s Amtrak’s policy. Unless she’s a service animal, she goes into cargo.”
“Fine,” I agreed, grudgingly. “But stop calling me babe. My name’s Estelle. Or Essie, if you prefer.”
He suddenly grabbed my arm, startling me. My eyes widened and I tried to pull away. Abby growled lowly. Ferociously.
“I want to get on this train without you, Lola or Gabe finding out its destination. How do I accomplish that?”
My voice sounded without my permission. “Have us board after seven fifty-two. We’ll miss the announcements. If we keep our heads down, we’ll miss the signs.”
He let me go abruptly. I’d been struggling against him and fell back when he finally released me, losing my balance. I almost tumbled to the ground, but Rex caught me just in time.
“Sorry,” he apologized. “Precautionary measure.”
“Why don’t you try warning me next time?” I snapped, pushing him away.
“The people who are tracking you won’t give you any warning. Consider it a lesson. Maybe next time you’ll move faster.”
It took me a moment to find my voice. I couldn’t believe he just said that.
“I don’t need any damned lessons from you,” I yelled angrily. “You’re not my teacher, you jackass!”
“Hey guys,” Lola pleaded. “Let’s just get to the train, okay?”
I was furious. That bastard abused me. Just like my mother and sister. And here I’d been trying to get away from them, just to be abused by someone else. What was the point?
“If he does that again, I’m done. I’ll leave. Find my own way to run and hide.”
Rex snorted. “Like you’d get very far.”
“He won’t do that again,” Lola promised quickly. She turned to Rex now. “Isn’t that right, Rex?” She’d angrily ground out the question through clenched teeth.
Rex shrugged. Lola stared him down, waiting for his answer. She was losing patience.
“Okay, okay,” he finally agreed, grumbling the words.
He walked away, calling over his shoulder for us to keep up. Clearly, he was not the remorseful type.
“Sorry about him,” Gabe offered an apology for his brother. His expression seemed to hold a sweet sincerity. “Want me to beat him up for you?”
“No, it’s okay,” I said, but smiling a little at the thought.
“Probably for the best. It always comes to a draw between us anyway. I’m faster, but he’s broader. His punches feel like bricks smashing into your face and body.”
I laughed. “How many times have you felt these bricks before?”
“Loads, unfortunately,” he admitted. “I can beat him as long as I move quickly, but if Rex gets in a few blows, I’m down for the count.”
“I’m guessing you two have had your fair share of brotherly brawls?”
“There’s nothing brotherly about them. He doesn’t fight fairly. And now it seems he’s lost his social skills as well.”
“I can’t imagine him ever having them,” I muttered. I tugged Abby’s leash to let her know it was time to go.
“Oh, he did once. He was a magnificent king.”
“King?” I asked, astounded by the news.
“Yes,” he replied. He stared off into space, absorbed by his old memories. “They called him Noble Stefan in that life. He was willing to fight for what he believed in. No matter the risk, he fought bravely. In those days, he was loved and revered by our people…but that was a very long time ago.”
“Why isn’t he a king now?” I asked curiously. “And why doesn’t he go by Stefan anymore?”
“Long story,” Lola cut in. “We’ll tell you all about it later, but we should get going.”
I wanted to hear more, but didn’t press them for it. We picked up our paces, heading towards the platforms. I inserted the headphones into my ears, turning my music on full blast. I also pulled my hoodie over my head, trying to block out the majority of my peripheral vision. I kept my eyes glued on Rex’s brown leather sneakers, following his footsteps. I wasn’t taking any chances.
Please don’t let me see any signs, my mind screamed anxiously.
We took Abby to the pet drop-off, keeping our heads lowered while Rex filled out the required paperwork. I stroked Abby’s soft, black fur a few times before she was crated. She whined after I locked her inside. I heard the whimpers over my music, the sound was so pathetic. “Be a good girl,” I said soothingly. She pawed at her crate and whined louder. I felt awful. Abby already had developed separation anxiety thanks to her time spent at the shelter. I hoped she wouldn’t think she’d been abandoned again.
After Abby was carted away, the four of us headed towards our entrance. Rex’s shoes slowed to a stop as we arrived. I glanced at the time on my phone. It was 7:53. We were safe to board. The announcements would be over.
I looked at no one and nothing when we boarded. I kept my eyes fixed on Rex’s shoes, step by step. Though the lobby had been empty earlier, an increasing number of people flocked to the gates. I tried to keep up with Rex, but somehow lost sight of him in the midst of the crowd. I winced fearfully. My entire body froze, limbs locking into place. My eyes darted over dozens of feet. I panicked, unable to spot Rex’s shoes in the crowd.
Where did he go?
Chucks, heels, sandals, wrong color, too big, too small. Boots, wedges, flip-flops. None of them belonged to Rex. My palms sweated with tension. As more and more time passed, the floor seemed to spiral into a blur of shapes and colors.
A warm hand suddenly grasped my wrist. A familiar pair of brown leather sneakers stood before me, followed by the faint smell of evergreen soap. The hand gently pulled me towards a nearby aisle.
I almost cried out in relief. We made it. I think.
Five
I plopped down on the seat immediately after we entered our room, leaning my head back against the cushion as I let out a deep breath. Gabe and Lola opened the door a few moments later appearing as equally relieved as I was. They stuffed their bags into the overhead, and then Lola sat down next to me in a similar plopping fashion. “I thought we’d never make it,” she said, removing her headphones. “I lost you and Rex in the crowd.”
“Did you see anything?” I asked.
“Nope. Nothing. Did you?”
I shook my head. “Negative.”
“I don’t know why you were all worried,” Rex said. He gestured to me. “She told us how to get what we wanted before we boarded.”
“It doesn’t always work right,” I told him. “This thing, it’s tricky. If one of us had lifted our heads for even a split second, we wouldn’t have been following my exact directions. We could’ve seen something and screwed everything up.”
“Well it’s a good thing everyone knows how to follow directions,” he retorted dryly.
I opened my mouth to say something, then decided against it. Instead, I ignored Rex and settled more comfortably into my seat. Pulling my legs up, I sat Indian style, and then leaned against the window. I yawned tiredly.
“I’m hungry,” Lola declared. “I noticed a snack cart a few rooms down. Are you hungry, Estelle?”
“No, just sleepy.”
Gabe escorted Lola to head towards the food cart while Rex stayed behind to look after me. Still determined to ignore his presence, I plugged my music back into my ears and snuggled into my little corner. Closing my eyes, I let the pulsing music drown out the high volume of my anxiety. Somehow, I managed to fall into a deep slumber, forgetting about the madness that had taken over my life these past few hours. At least for a little while.
The soft hues of daylight shined into our room, waking me. The rumble beneath my feet indicated our train was still moving. According to my cell, it was 7:00 a.m. Way too early to be awake under normal circumstances.
The cell phone was also testimony to dozens of missed calls from my mother and a few from my sister. At least I’d thought to silence the ringer. I toyed with the idea of listening to the voicemails, but honestly, I wasn’t interested in hearing my mother’s frantic voice displaying a mock portrayal of concern over my welfare. She would only be upset that the goose that laid her golden eggs finally flew the coop. She could no longer use me. That was as far as her distress truly went.
“You should break that,” Lola said, pulling me out of my contemplative state. She was staring at me cautiously. Her fingers loomed over strips of her hair where she’d been braiding it. “If your family contacted the police, it could be used as a tracking device.”
I looked at the phone again, debating. I supposed there was no point in keeping it. I snapped it in two, surprised by how easy it had been to break.
“The guys went to get breakfast,” Lola mentioned.
My last connection to home.
Broken.
“I’m about to join them,” she said. “Do you want to come with me?”
I shook my head. “No, thanks.”
“You should eat,” she suggested, eyeing my figure. “You’re already too skinny.”
I raised a brow. “Gee, thanks.”
She grinned. Then, more seriously, she warned me, “Don’t go anywhere, okay? It shouldn’t take long.”
“I’ll be fine,” I reassured her.
I found myself completely alone in the cabin. It was quiet, too quiet. The pieces of my broken phone plunked loudly against the wall of the metal wastebasket as I tossed them in. Their echoes made the room sound emptier, smaller.
I knew I couldn’t let myself dwell on what was happening back home. I needed to put myself back together and move on.
That was no longer my life. Not anymore.
There was a small mirror in the bathroom. I looked myself over in it, and grimaced. My hair was in an array of tangles, and my ashen skin looked as if it belonged to a ghostly being.
I turned on the sink faucet and scrubbed at my face and hands. The icy, cold water helped to wake me up. Afterwards, I combed my thick hair back into a twisted bun, tying it up with a black ribbon.
Typically, I didn’t wear much makeup, but I felt like it was necessary today. I dabbed on some concealer, some blush and swooped one thin line of black liner across the upper lids of my eyes.
After I was done, I looked myself over again.
Better, I decided. Much better.
I sat back down in my seat, bored now. These trains should really come stocked with televisions. Or at the very least some magazines.
A bound leather book sat across from me on the opposite seat. Intrigued, I picked it up and was surprised by its heftiness. I eyed the doorknob, listening to hear if anyone was coming. It remained very quiet. Too curious to put the book down, I leafed through it. The pages were thick and textured. It was an artwork portfolio.
Emotion was the prevalent element on each of the pages. Raw, unbridled and passionate emotion. The lines were detailed and elegant. The colors were rich and deep. Some of the art were mere sketches. Some were paintings. Some were printed copies of digital art. All of it was beautiful.
I flipped through the pages hungrily. My love for art had found a feast.
Curiously, many of the images were of the same blurred woman. The emotion was more tangible within those images. Her eyes held some sort of power. She was lovely, too. Her hair was blonde, flowing in tight ringlets down her back. In most of the portraits, she wore gowns that weren’t from this century. Most of them matched the shade of her dark blue eyes.
Strangely, I noticed the girl’s lips pouted in almost every image. It was as if she were unhappy. There was one, however, towards the end of the portfolio of her laughing. She held a toddler in her arms, swinging him around. They were playing together. Happiness protruded from that painting. The blonde woman practically glowed with it.
I sighed while looking over that piece. It was perfect, inspiring and I wished I could own it.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Rex stood before me, mad as all hell.
I fumbled with the portfolio, trying to close it. I hadn’t heard him come in, too wrapped up in the painting. “Nothing,” I said
, much too quickly. “Sorry, I was curious. Is this yours?”
He snatched the book out of my hands and stuffed it into his suitcase. “Weren’t you ever taught not to snoop through someone else’s things?”
“You left it on the seat,” I pointed out. “I was curious. I didn’t realize it was private.”
Well, at least not until I opened it anyway. But there was no need for him to know that.
“I left it on my seat-accidentally. That wasn’t an invitation for you to snoop through its contents.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled awkwardly.
Rex zipped his bag up in quick, heated motions. The muscles in his back appeared tense. I didn’t know what to say to make the situation better. I didn’t know if I could make it better.
Say something, you idiot, I inwardly yelled at myself.
“You’re really talented,” I said quietly. I was partly hoping to calm him down, but the other part of me meant what I said. “Your art is amazing. Some of the best I’ve ever seen.”
“I don’t care what you think, babe. Save your compliments for someone else.”
My eyes widened in shock over his rudeness.
I didn’t give out compliments like that lightly, and wasn’t expecting it to be returned with resentment. Yeah, I shouldn’t have been snooping. It was safe to say that I was out of line. But his comments were uncalled for.
“How dare you!” I spat out angrily, unable to rein in my growing temper. “I was simply attempting to praise your work. Are you really so low of a person to speak to a woman that way?”
“First off, I don’t see a woman. I see a child. Secondly, I’m here to do a job, not to care about hurting your feelings.”
I actually laughed. “You think you hurt my feelings, do you? Well you can guess again. It would take a lot more than that to do some damage. You simply shocked me, is all. But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. That portfolio there sheds some major light on just how screwed up the inner workings of Rex Constantin’s mind truly is.”
“Don’t pretend to know me, girl. You don’t know anything about me.”
