by HK Carlton
“Mrs Markham,” the nurse acknowledged. Lainey nodded in greeting while helping Thad back into bed. Thad had been playing this game all weekend, using his illness to try to wheedle his way back into her good graces.
“It’s Clarkson. Mr Markham and I are one signature shy of divorce.”
“Ohh, I’m sorry to hear that,” she backtracked.
“Come on, Lain. We’ve had a great weekend together with Jill, like we were a real family again.”
“But we’re not. You saw to that.”
“The doctor will be in to see you shortly.” The nurse left quickly.
Lainey stared out of the window.
“Are you in love with him?” Thad asked.
“With who?”
“The guy you’re seeing?”
“I don’t know.”
“You must be because I don’t see the love in your eyes that I used to see when you looked at me.”
“Regardless of what I feel for someone else, you still wouldn’t see love in my eyes when I look at you, Thad. You successfully squashed that over and over again. The only thing I feel for you now is pity.”
“Ouch! I want you back, Lain. I want you by my side while I fight this thing. There’s no one but you that can see me through this.”
“I’ll help you all I can, Thad, but that’s all there is to it. You hurt me. Don’t you get it? I hate what you did to us. Those two little teenagers that hated the world but loved each other, do you remember them? They had hopes and dreams and once we achieved them, you left me.”
“Then go. I don’t need you. Go back to your house and your stupid little store. I’ll take it all away from you. Just like you’re doing to me.”
“What am I taking from you?”
“You’re taking you away from me!”
“You’re not even making sense.”
All of a sudden he batted the container of water from the table in front of him. “Get the fuck out. Go! Go back to your boyfriend, you fuckin’ slut!”
“Oh, so I’m the slut,” Lainey retorted, picking up the jug. “You go off and do half the town, but I’m the bad guy.”
Crossing his arms like a little kid that had just been reprimanded, Thad turned his face away and refused to look at her.
“I love your version of things, Thad.” Lainey mopped up some of the liquid with some rough brown paper towelettes from the dispenser. “You don’t even make sense.”
“I don’t have to make sense, my brain is scrambled. Remember?”
“Oh, so is that going to be your new crutch? Blame all your bad behavior on your illness instead of me?”
“Why are you being such a bitch?”
“I’m out. See ya tomorrow. Maybe.” Lainey grabbed her purse and made for the door when another object flew across the room and hit the wall just ahead of her.
Lainey turned and leveled her ex with a look. “Good thing you weren’t the QB, ya jack wagon!” she yelled childishly before ducking out, then colliding with Thad’s doctor.
“Hey, what’s all this?” he asked, taking Lainey by the shoulders, worry etched on his kind face.
“Thad is having a little fit.”
“I can see that. What set him off?” the physician asked.
“Are you sure about all this, doctor? I mean did you guys do toxicology tests when you took his blood?”
“That’s what I was about to tell him. I have the results back.” He gestured for her to go back into the room.
Reluctantly, she did.
“Lainey, I’m sorry,” Thad apologized as soon as she re-entered the room. When Lainey didn’t respond he turned his attention to the physician. “What’s the word, doc?”
“Well, Thad,” he began, sitting down. “You are both right. You do have a brain injury. Brain scarring actually.”
Thad turned and gave Lainey a smug look.
“From a concussion?” Lainey asked.
“From several, in my opinion. Recurring.”
Lainey sighed.
“And your wife is also correct. Thad, you have been using performance enhancing drugs. And by the look of things, for a good long while too.”
Lainey bit her tongue lightly so she wouldn’t stick it out at him.
“I have not. You’re lying!”
The doctor gave him an impatient look. “Blood tests don’t lie, Thad. They are not like people.”
“So what happens next, doctor?” Lainey asked hoping she could go home soon.
“Well, the good news about the brain scarring is we don’t have to operate, but we do want to use a fairly new and very promising procedure called nanotechnology. This treatment not only gets rid of the scar tissue but also encourages brain nerve growth, which can over time repair a good bit of the damage so that you can lead a fairly normal life, Thad.”
“What good is that if I can’t play ball?” He pouted.
“Then you’ll coach, or become a broadcaster, Thad.” Lainey tried to get through to him. “Your career was winding down anyway. You’re not that young anymore, Thad, face it. You’ll just have to find some other way to contribute to the sport you love. With that face and big mouth, I see commentator all over.”
When he turned to look at her, Lainey’s stomach did a flip. The Thad she had once loved more than anything in the world looked back at her. “And what about us?” he whispered, his eyes filling up.
Cursing herself, Lainey’s did too, in response. But she shook her head.
Closing his eyes, he bowed his head and nodded. It was over and they’d both finally accepted it.
“I’m glad to see you’re coming to terms with things, Thad,” the physician said.
“So when do we start this treatment?” Thad asked.
“That’s up to you. You need to commit yourself to a rehab clinic and get yourself cleaned up from the drugs you’ve been pumping into your body first. When you are rehabilitated, or at least clean, we will begin. I have people waiting right now, if you want to begin right away. Which I strongly suggest you do. Don’t fool around with this, Thad. It won’t stay like this forever. We have a small window of opportunity to take care of this while you are not permanently impaired. Don’t let it close, or we might not be able to help you.”
Thad inhaled deeply and looked at Lainey. Shakily, he reached for her. She took his hand. “I should go,” he said to her.
She nodded. “You get better for yourself. And Jilly.”
“Okay, Doc, I’m ready.”
Chapter Fourteen
Lainey stayed with Thad until he was settled in the rehab center then she flew back home. But not before he had signed the divorce papers right in front of her.
When she reached the house it was in darkness. She let herself in and unpacked her things, wondering where Jilly was, until she found the flyer for the talent show.
Sighing, Lainey sat down on a kitchen stool, exhausted. The last thing she wanted to do was go out. But she should be there to support Jill. What she really wanted to do was crawl into a nice hot bubble bath with a glass of wine. And why did that make her think of Jason? Unfortunately, everything made her think of Jason.
Her cellphone buzzed from inside her purse. Reaching lazily for it, she then thumbed the screen.
Hey, Lain. Are you home yet? It was Thad.
Yeah, just got in.
Jilly home?
No. Talent show night.
Are you going?
I should.
I’m sorry, Lain, 4 everything. I love u. But don’t let what I did 2 u stop u from being happy. U deserve 2 B.
Lainey had no idea how to respond. And wondered why he was saying these things in a text. Why hadn’t he been able to say them to her face? When she could have read sincerity or more underhandedness from his expression.
These were my mistakes. I hope this guy u r seeing is the 1 that can make u happy 4ever.
Lain, u still there?
Yes, Thad, still here. Not sure what 2 say. Wish u could have said this when I was at t
he hospital.
I’m a coward, Lain. U know that by now. Will he b there 2night? At the show?
Yes.
Go, Lainey. Stop wasting time. I’m beginning 2 realize life’s 2 short.
Wow, what kind of rehab center did they put u in? They’ve worked miracles already.
Ya think? Enough that you’ll come back?
There was another pause.
You can’t blame a guy for trying. I love u, Lainey. I always will.
Lainey swallowed hard
Get well, Thadeus.
Been a long time since u called me that. :(
I’ll always miss my Thadeus. He’s gone 4 me. It’s like he died. It hurt so much I thought I was going 2 die 2.
I’m so sorry. You’ll never know how much. But u didn’t, ‘cause you’re the strong one. U always have been. Go live, Lainey.
A few minutes passed while Lainey sat in a fog of misery and loss. Her phone buzzed one last time.
Goodbye.
She set it down and away from her.
“Goodbye, Thadeus,” she whispered.
After dragging herself to the bathroom she then jumped in the shower. But it wasn’t Thad’s words running through her thoughts anymore. They were Jason’s. He was right. What had really changed? Essentially he had revealed the truth about the band, just not the scope. That’s what I gave up to be a teacher, she remembered he’d said the day of the forgotten hike. She must have been in denial, with the cars and the fancy house. On some level she had to have known.
And there was the declaration that was in her every other thought—‘I love you, Lainey, and that’s God’s honest truth.’
As Lainey drove toward the school, her cellphone chimed again.
Lainey hit the hands free button on the dash. “Hello?”
“Mama, you are home.”
“Hey, Jilly, I’m almost at the school now…”
“No, wait, listen, you have to hear this.”
“Jill? Jill…I…”
“Shut up, Mom and listen, he’s singing to you.”
What? Who? Jason?
Tuning in, she heard the low tones of an acoustic guitar and that beautiful raspy voice that made her stomach cartwheel.
Straining, she tried to hear the words. She could only decipher every other one, for the noise of the crowd and Jilly holding the phone gave it a muffled, distorted sound. But all the same, the sentiment came through. He was singing Doug Stone’s I Never Knew Love. Jason knew that it was one of her favorite country love songs.
Lainey covered her mouth, trying to hold back the tears that blinded her.
* * * *
A bunch of students and parent volunteers spent an hour or so cleaning up and stacking chairs.
“Hey, West,” one of the other teachers called in passing. “Awesome song. You still got it.”
Grinning, he nodded his thanks.
Approaching the main doors, Jason found Henry and Jill waiting there.
“Maybe she just stopped to get something,” Henry said, running his hand up and down Jill’s back.
“I talked to her on the phone, like, two hours ago and she was in the car and on the way here. What if something happened?”
Jason’s stomach tightened.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to overhear, but I did. Are you sure your mom was on the way, Jill? Perhaps she changed her mind and didn’t want to be here because of me?”
“No, she wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t allow you to stop her from being here to see me. I phoned her when you were singing so she could hear that it was about her. She was on the way. I don’t feel right. Something is wrong.” Jill stared up at him as if she wanted him to make it all right.
“Why don’t you guys stay here and I’ll drive from here to your house, Jill. Maybe she got a flat on the way?” Jason said, trying to think up harmless situations that might have detained her mother.
“She would have texted me.”
“Maybe her cell battery died,” Henry suggested.
“You two give me a call if she shows up here and I’ll do the same if I find her between here and home,” Jason instructed. “You got my number, right, Henry?”
Henry nodded, giving him a worried look.
Jason was just about to walk out when the principal approached. “Jill, can I speak to you for a moment?” Jase knew the man enough to know that he had a serious topic to discuss and if that wasn’t a tip-off the two state troopers flanking him were.
Jase’s stomach knotted more tightly. Jill’s frightened gaze widened.
The principal took her into a more private alcove. Jase and Henry followed.
“Miss Markham, these policemen were called to a traffic accident. Your mother was in a fender bender.”
“Oh my God! How is she? Can I see her?”
“She’s been taken to Memorial. We can take you there now.”
“But how is she?” Jill cried, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“She was quite disoriented, Miss, but the prognosis is good. We’ll take you to her.”
Jill turned, exchanging a look with Henry.
“We’ll follow in my car, Jill,” Jason reassured.
“Thank you, Mr Westlake.”
All the way to the hospital Jason was on edge, cursing the cop leading for not going fast enough.
“Calm down, J-Dub, it sounds like it’s not that bad. I’m sure she’s fine.”
“Yeah, we’ll see how you react when someone you love is hurt, kid.”
“Is that so?”
“Is what so?” he snapped.
“Someone you love, huh?”
He didn’t deny it.
“Yeah, fat lotta good it’ll do me,” Jase said, wheeling into the hospital parking lot. “Look how I fouled things up. And worst of all is you tried to tell me in the beginning to fess up. Be an adult and just be honest.”
* * * *
Jase and Henry remained out in the hall while Jill visited with Lainey. He so badly wanted to go in and see and feel for himself that she was all right but wondered if it would just upset Lainey more to see him. She had been incredibly hurt and angry the last time he’d attempted to talk to her.
Jill walked out into the hallway and right into Henry’s arms.
“How is she?”
“They say she’s going to be fine, but they have her so drugged she can’t rouse herself enough to talk to me. Her poor nose is broken and already under her eyes is turning black.”
“Sounds more like she got beat up,” Henry responded.
“The nurse said the airbag went off. She said that’s normal and she’s lucky that her wrist is only sprained because usually in car accidents when the bag goes off, the driver ends up punching themselves in the face at a high rate of speed, from the force and velocity.”
“Huh, I never really thought about that. Seems to me that those things can be worse than some minor accidents.”
“Come on, you two, I’ll take you home,” Jason said to them.
“Don’t you want to go in and see her?” Jill looked up at him, her eyes glassy and accusatory.
“You said she’s not even coherent, and I’m probably the last person she wants to see right now. She’s had enough upset the last few days. Let’s go.”
As they were going down in the elevator, Henry spoke, “Well, look at it this way, J-Dub—as I see it Jill’s dad would be the last person in the world Ms C might want to see, you’re just second last.”
Tucking his tongue into the corner of his cheek so that he wouldn’t lash the kid with it, Jason then took a deep breath.
Jason barely listened to the two teenagers yapping in the back seat. Pulling up outside Lainey’s house, Jase popped the car in park. Jill and Henry got out.
“Thanks for the ride home, Mr Westlake.”
“Yeah, thanks, J-Dub.”
Henry slammed the car door.
“Wait, wait, whoa, whoa,” Jason said jumping out of the car. “And where do you think you’re going, hot sho
t?”
“I’m going to stay with Jill. She doesn’t want to stay here by herself.”
Jill blushed to the roots of her hair.
“Yeah, try again. Get in.” Jason opened the door for Henry to get back in.
Henry neared Jason and said in hushed tones, “Come on, J-Dub. What the hell are ya doin’?”
Jason grabbed the kid by the collar and sat him forcefully in the passenger’s seat then turned to Jill. “Go in the house. Goodnight, Jill,” Jason said.
Sitting back in the car, Jason waited until Jill was safely inside before he pulled away.
“That was uncalled for, J-Dub.”
“Uncalled for? Do you think I was born yesterday?”
“No, but I know your lifestyle. You can’t act like an outraged parent when I’ve seen the women you’ve fu—”
“Stop. Right there. That was my life before. And there was no way I was gonna let you stay there alone with her. You two can do that stuff on your own time, but I’ll be damned if you’re going to do it on my watch. Lainey would kill me. And frankly, I don’t want to know.”
“Geez, Dub, ya act like we’ve never do—”
“Shut up, kid! Just shut your damn mouth.”
Henry doubled up in hysterics, holding his stomach.
“I’m just shittin’ ya, Dub. We haven’t yet.”
“Jesus, what does ‘shut the fuck up’ mean to you, kid?” Jason cautioned wearily.
“I’m sorry, I’ll be good. But we were just gonna cuddle—”
Jason raised his hand having every intention of backhanding the kid in the chest, but then his teacher senses kicked in and he aborted. Hands off the students. Jason knew exactly what cuddling at their age led to, especially when one of the participants was upset.
He pulled up out front of Henry’s place and stopped.
“Just get out. Don’t say another word.”
Henry did as he was told.
“And don’t bother going back to the school to get your truck so that you can go back over to Jill’s. Go in your own house and go to bed, Henry. You got me?”
Henry nodded, waved and jogged up the path to his house. Again, Jason waited until he went inside before he drove away.
Making a big loop around the block, he then parked just down the street from Lainey and Jill’s and waited. It wasn’t that long ago that he was a teenage boy too and he wouldn’t have listened.
