by tj dell
“Is that a challenge?” Cole’s voice was hot and seductive. “I love a good challenge. And I plan on making you very very happy.” Sandy would have answered him, but all of her energy was engaged in keeping her knees from buckling.
Hannah didn’t win a goldfish. But she did win a teddy bear for knocking over some heavy bottles with a baseball. The three of them had a great time despite the interference from Sandy’s friends.
Sandy and Hannah were making a glittery wreath out of a paper plate when they heard the woman shrieking. Everyone in the room turned around at once to see an older man coughing and turning bright red. Sandy didn’t even see Cole move, but he wasn’t sitting next to her anymore. Cole was standing behind the old man, his arms looped beneath the man’s rib cage. On Cole’s third thrust a bright red piece of candy flew out of his mouth. It took another 10 minutes for the man to be calmed and breathing easily enough for Cole to send him and his wife off to an emergency room to be checked out. Sandy spent those ten minutes grappling with her greatest fear—she was head over heels in love with Cole. Damn.
At the end of the day Cole and Hannah dropped Sandy off at home. Cole made some not so heavily veiled hints about wanting to be invited in, but Sandy stood her ground. This was getting out of hand. Cole and Hannah needed more than she could give and it was time Sandy stopped pretending.
“Well I guess I will pick you up tomorrow around 5:00 then.” Cole finally accepted her refusal to invite them in.
“What is tomorrow?”
“Dinner at mom’s house.” Stupid lopsided grin.
“I don’t think I can, Cole. I have plans in the morning, and then I have to work at the shelter.”
“You get off at 3:00”
“Not tomorrow. Tomorrow I am working a long shift.” Sandy lied.
Cole’s eyes narrowed on her, but he nodded his agreement and told her he’d give her call. Sandy walked as quietly up her walk until she closed the door behind her and could let out a frustrated scream.
Chapter Five
“Are you crazy?!” Allie was waving her pancake laden fork in Sandy’s direction. “Never mind don’t answer me. I don’t like speaking to crazy people. You spent our entire adolescence mooning over him, and now you’re just gonna let him go.”
“It’s my decision! So butt out guys.” Sandy was only pushing her eggs around on her plate. Sunday brunches were starting to be a serious low point in her week.
“Nah, if we butt out you’ll never get laid.” This was from Allie across the table.
“That isn’t the problem. He’s got all these plans. He wants a wife and a mother, and babies. We aren’t talking about going to the prom here.”
“Sandy, we only want you to be happy.” Lynn’s quiet voice made Sandy want to cry. Whatever that was nothing new. She’d been crying all night. “He seems like a great guy. Just talk to him. He isn’t Todd. Tell him, and let him decide for himself.”
“Geez, Sandy. I doubt he wants you to start picking out wedding dresses tomorrow! Let the man buy you a couple of dinners and take him for a tumble in the bedroom—what’s it gonna hurt?”
“Not what. Who. It could hurt Hannah. That little girl wants a mommy. I don’t want her to get her hopes up just because I feel a need to work Cole out of my system.”
“Gee—I was talking about working him into your system.” Allie’s joke broke the tension and everyone laughed.
Sandy finished her food quietly trying not to think about what her friends had said. Of course everyone knows that trying not to think about something is a surefire way to guarantee you’ll be thinking about it. And she did. She thought about it through brunch. While she exercised the dogs. While she did her paperwork. She had to fill out Bert’s adoption papers twice because she accidentally doodled Mrs. Cole Pennington ten times in the margin. By the time she got home she couldn’t take it one more moment. She called Cole.
Sandy knew exactly where Mrs. Pennington lived, and exactly how long it took to drive to her house from there. Cole was at her door two minutes quicker. Sandy still wasn’t sure exactly what she was going to say to him. Not that those two extra minutes would have helped that much. When she opened the door Cole was leaning casually against a post on her front porch. His long legs needed less than two strides to push past her and close the door. No sooner had he done that than Sandy felt his big hands grasping her at the waist and lifting her until her legs wrapped instinctively around his waist.
His kisses were somehow urgent and lazy at the same time. Like kissing her was the most important thing in the world right then, but that was okay because he had all the time in the world. After either a few moments or an eternity (Sandy had lost the ability to gauge the passage of time) of holding her there, Cole turned them around and pressed her up against the inside of the front door. The impact of their bodies made a tinkling noise as they shook the bells on her holiday wreath on the other side. Supporting her weight with just his hips and the door, he lifted Sandy’s tee shirt over her head in one smooth motion.
Cole tore his mouth away from hers and reluctantly set her down on her feet. “Hi.” He breathed the word into her hair.
“Hi.”
Cole drew a few ragged breaths and then was able to place his hands on the door on either side of her and push his body away from hers. “Something about you makes me forget I’m not 18 anymore.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“Well, I don’t want you to think I am entirely without finesse.” Cole traced the lacy edge of her bra over the swell of her breast with a feather light touch.
Sandy remembered the rush that ran through her nervous system a few moments before when his perfect male body was pressed against her and she thought of that hard ridge that was evident even through their clothes. “Maybe finesse is overrated.”
Cole chuckled. “No way. Let me show you.” Before she could digest what he was saying, Sandy felt her knees being swept out from under her and she was cradled in his arms like a child. Cole didn’t seem to strain at all under her added weight as he took the stairs two at a time and shouldered his way into her bedroom. Gently, almost reverently, Cole laid Sandy down in the middle of the bed and he slowly peeled away the rest of her clothes. When he was done he eased himself back to take a long look.
Her small body was further dwarfed by the big bed. Her hair, already mussed from their encounter downstairs, was one of the sexiest sights Cole ever remembered seeing. “Am I supposed to do this alone?” Sandy asked.
Cole’s mouth went dry and only by extreme self control did he keep from collapsing under the pressure of the lust her words inspired. That sexy blush was creeping up her face again. Wow, did he love that blush.
“That wasn’t … I didn’t mean…” The meaning of what she had just said dawned on Sandy and she started stammering. “But if you wanted me to… Oh brother.” Sandy gave up and covered her face with her hands. Peaking through her fingers she saw Cole’s slow grin and any self consciousness she felt moments before dissolved.
Cole’s eyes roamed her body up and down once more before he elbowed out of his shirt and joined her on the bed. “Baby— that sounds sexy as hell, but no way are you starting this party without me.” His lips traced a path of wet kisses from the sweet dip of her belly straight up, pausing briefly for a taste of each tight nipple, and then continuing to the tempting curve of her throat before settling back at her mouth for more slow drugging kisses.
Dimly Sandy remembered that she had originally invited Cole here to have a conversation, but those thoughts didn’t stand a chance once she felt his rough skinned hands begin to explore her skin. Abandoning the last shred of her earlier intentions when she felt Cole’s teeth nipping seductively at her shoulder, Sandy pushed him onto his back. It was obvious how Cole had been able to carry her so easily and quickly. He was magnificent. Sandy traced the contours of every muscle in his arms and across his chest and down his hard stomach. The sharp intake of breath she heard from him w
hen she began to undo his belt buckle filled her with a sense of power.
“Wait.” Cole’s voice was thick when he reached out to stop her before she could toss his jeans to the floor. Fishing a small square out one of the pockets, he pressed Sandy back onto the bed. That first moment of him filling her was like the sweetest relief. Sandy couldn’t think or even breathe as she flew apart in his arms.
Later, when she was lying across his chest enjoying the deliciously private feel of his hands trailing up and down her spine, Sandy was finally able to speak. “That was…”
“I know, for me too.” Cole finished for her when she let the sentence trail off.
“I don’t suppose you would believe me if I told you that when I called I really only wanted to talk?”
Cole huffed out a chuckle. “Are you trying to tell me that was an accidental booty call?”
“Oh my god! We had a booty call? I don’t know if I should be impressed with myself or ashamed.”
“Coming from the receiving end I would like to vote for impressed. Although—if you would just invite us to move in you could eliminate any future need for me to break speed limits and run red lights.”
“You didn’t!”
“Not the red lights, but I am pretty thankful I didn’t meet any cops.”
Sandy giggled into his chest hair.
“So, when do we move in?”
Sandy stopped giggling and groaned. Then she rolled away and pulled the sheet up to cover herself. “Why do you say things like that?” Sandy wished her words hadn’t come out quite so sharp, but he was killing her buzz. And this was a buzz like none she’d ever experienced.
“Because you make me want things that I didn’t even know I was missing until I saw you again. In those stupid green pajama pants.” Cole tried to tease the stress out of her face.
“Yoga pants—they are for when I work out.” Yeah right, but it sounded better than pajamas. “I don’t want those same things Cole. I told you that.” Sandy thought that was as close to the truth as he was going to get. Maybe she had wanted those things once upon a time, but she was happy with her life.
“Sa—a—ndy.” Cole drew out her name in a way that made her think he was saying ‘Sure. Whatever, I know you want me.’ “Come on. This is interested, babe. It doesn’t get much more interested. Tell me what’s really going on.”
Oh. Sure she would just tell him. Like it was every day she admitted to her fantasy man all her feminine shortcomings. It might make her crazy but Sandy couldn’t help thinking that she was a fraud. If she told him why she wasn’t wife/mommy candidate number one he would definitely feel as though he’d slept with a fraud. “I just don’t want those things. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you! It doesn’t have to be a relationship can’t we just…” Sandy spread her arms out in front of her over the rumpled covers.
Cole went cold. “Just what? I was joking about the booty call, Sandy. I can’t be that guy for you. I’m not going to get caught up in a meaningless affair.”
“Why do you have to make is so sleazy?! We are adults. We aren’t doing anything wrong.”
“I’m not saying I want to run off to Vegas tomorrow, but I this is a small town and I have enough to live down as it is. I have a daughter, and I am going to be working with teenagers… I can’t let myself be gossiped about.”
“So, you are worried about your reputation?”
“What? Just because I’m a man means I want casual meaningless sex? This wasn’t meaningless or casual Sandy. I am crazy about you. I haven’t had a thought that didn’t include you since those green yoga pants. And I want to be with you—but not like this. Not this halfway crap—I need more.”
“I know. I don’t have more. I only have the half.”
Cole couldn’t breathe. This was not how this was supposed to end. Sure they didn’t have to fly off to Vegas first thing. But he wanted to. If she would just say the word she could be Mrs. Pennington in a few hours and nothing would make him happier. But she didn’t want him. Not all of him. It was awkward as he got up and found his clothes. He pulled his jeans on right away, but he carried his shoes downstairs. It would be even worse if Sandy saw him get all teary. He took the long way home (three trips around the outskirts of town). So Hannah and his mother would both be sleeping when he walked in.
“Okay. I’m officially not talking to you. I warned you about how I feel about talking to crazy people.” Allie showed up at her door with wine and ice cream following Sandy’s sobbing phone call. Sandy didn’t mind the not talking to her part as long as there was enough alcohol and sugar to go around. She hadn’t done this since Todd left. Then it had been a bit of a nightly ritual. Until one day Allie stopped bringing wine and ice cream—one day she showed up with a couple of paint brushes and a can of yellow paint. Now five years later she was back to wine and ice cream.
They ate and drank in silence as they flipped through the channels. Allie paused for a few minutes on ‘it’s a wonderful life’, but she moved on when Sandy reached for the carton of ice cream during the honeymoon scene. Finally they ended up with some holiday cookie cook off on the food network.
They still didn’t talk. All night they sat on the couch not talking. But Sandy was beyond glad that Allie was there. Sandy slept on the couch and Allie took the inflatable mattress. Sandy couldn’t even go up stairs let alone sleep in that bed alone. In the morning Allie was making coffee while Sandy raked a brush through her hair and pulled on dog appropriate clothes for work.
“He deserves to know, Sandy.” She finally said.
“No. He doesn’t. It isn’t his business. It isn’t that small of a town, I doubt we’ll be seeing each other very often.”
“Did you know Lynn went speed dating last week?”
Well at least Allie was changing the conversation topic—even if Sandy didn’t want to talk about anyone else’s love life while hers was still so awful. “Did she find her someone special?” Sandy tried to scrounge up a little interest for her friend’s sake.”
“Of course not. She met 20 other desperate lonely people, because not everybody finds their ‘someone special’. Some people go through their whole lives never knowing what it means to be a part of something like that and some people are crazy and they throw it away rather than fight for it.”
“Hmm… would you maybe be trying to hint at something?” Sandy’s voice was unnecessarily cruel in light of Allie having just spent seven hours on a leaky air mattress in the middle of her living room. Sandy didn’t care—she liked Allie better when she was sticking to her policy of not talking to crazy people.
“I didn’t realize I was being subtle, Sandy. Cole is it for you. You have a chance at happiness and I hate you for running from it.”
“Bite me.”
Allie just sighed. I gotta go—call me later?”
“Yeah okay.”
Sandy wasn’t angry with Allie. She was crass and blunt but these weren’t new traits.
Work was awful. The dogs had to exercise themselves, because Sandy wasn’t in the mood to play. She and Jingle Bells just curled up together while Sandy considered the immense unfairness that Cole should have the ability to make her this miserable after only a few days. Well ten years and a few days. The next day was more of the same. And the day after that. The day after that Cole called and spoke to Amanda; he asked if she would be willing to deliver Jingle Bells on Christmas Eve—he specifically asked for Amanda to do the delivery.
Chapter Six
Sandy was unbelievably glad that she had the 23rd off of work. She had big plans to spend all day curled up on the couch watching the food network and not thinking of Cole, or Hannah, or Jingle Bells. Halfway through her third episode of Iron Chef America the doorbell rang. Maybe Allie was going to take pity on her and maybe she brought more ice cream.
Nope. Through her peephole Sandy saw Mrs. Pennington standing on her front porch holding two boxes. The shock left her immobile until Mrs. Pennington rang the bell again and Sandy opened
the door for her. Mrs. Pennington was wearing a neatly pressed rose colored skirt suit with a pretty ivory scarf. Sandy looked down at her Scooby doo pajamas and immediately decided she needed to go shopping. She could not keep getting surprised by people while she was wearing old and embarrassing clothing.
“Are you going to invite me in?” Mrs. Pennington’s no nonsense tone of voice moved Sandy aside and she breezed past her and seated herself at Sandy’s dining room table. “Come on and sit down with me.” That tone of voice had the same effect as before and Sandy obeyed without question.
“Can I get you something?” Sandy whispered after a while.
“So, you can still speak.” Mrs. Pennington was smiling now. “Some coffee would be lovely. I brought some cookies—I made chili last night, but I could hardly bring that now could I?”
Sandy relaxed. Mrs. Pennington had always been a good sport about her red ribbon chili. By the time she’d prepared two mugs of coffee and returned to the living room one of the boxes was opened revealing sugar cookies nestled in holiday tissue paper. Mrs. Pennington’s sugar cookie recipe was a blue ribbon every year. Sandy helped herself and waited to find out the reason for her surprise visitor.
“Well I’m glad I came.” She started. “I wasn’t sure—you are adults after all. But no one should spend the day before Christmas Eve wallowing and rotting their brain cells in front of the television”
“What makes you think I am wallowing?”
Mrs. Pennington ignored her. “I don’t know what went on with you and my son, but he’s been a bear all week. And my granddaughter hasn’t stopped talking about you—that makes the bear growl.”
“I’m sorry…” Mrs. Pennington waved her off when she tried to speak and handed her a second cookie.
“I have something I want to show you.” She pushed the second box over to her.
