“Then you also know that if you bail on her all of a sudden, or change your mind, or take off for college, it may be hard on her.”
Where is all this coming from? Is that how they see me? As an inconsistent, flakey, unreliable person? It’s like I’m talking to my dad.
I drive into town and pull up to the small brick apartment complex. I stare out the window and say, “I’m not going to hurt her. I wouldn’t.”
He takes off his seatbelt and reaches for the door. “Good. Because I’m not sure Norah would forgive you if you did.”
I don’t wait for him to get in the door before pulling out and heading through town. This whole time I’d thought Olivia had been overly concerned about her family finding out about us. That they’d be more understanding about our relationship. I realize now that she was right. They’re not ready to hear it, and not just because they don’t trust her.
They don’t trust me either.
28
Olivia
After my power nap on the couch, I can’t sleep. The bake sale is in two days, and while I’m lying in bed I start running the numbers. We need so many cookies, cupcakes, brownies, snickerdoodles, lemon squares…fudge. We forgot to make fudge.
I get up at 5 a.m., dress, and leave my mom a note.
Headed to the store before going to the Girls' Home. It’s baking day!
As I pedal down the street, I have the nagging feeling I’m forgetting something, but whatever it is I’ll probably remember at the store.
I park my bike outside the market and head in for the millionth time that week. The owners had been nice enough to give us a discount on supplies—knowing it’s going toward a fundraiser for the kids. Same with Maya’s father-in-law at The Creamery who helped us with some of the ingredients by adding them to his bulk orders. We’ve kept our expenses down, which should make our profit pretty good. Assuming we sell everything. I don’t want to think about not selling all these desserts.
Fudge isn’t complicated, and I gather the few items we need to make a couple of pans. Melina is going to kill me for adding something to the mix, but I want to be sure we’re ready.
When I arrive at the Girls' Home, the kids are already setting up the kitchen for our final day of baking. AJ and Beverly have on their aprons. Abbigail is sitting at the computer adding to the spreadsheet, and the other girls are pulling out supplies. I’m really impressed how it’s coming together.
“What’s all that?” Melina says after Hector drops her off. She’s eyeing my fudge materials.
“I woke up stressed out and thought we needed fudge.” Now it seems kind of dumb. “Is it too much?”
She frowns. “I don’t know. If you already bought it, we should probably add it in.” I hand the recipe I’d printed out to AJ. “I was going to have them finish up the signs we need to hang from the tent, but they can make the fudge first.”
“Oh right, the signs.” I’d forgotten that was on the schedule today.
“You and I need to go over some of the logistics.”
“Sure, yeah, sounds good.” I follow her to the end of the kitchen table. We stay close, just in case the girls need help, but after the last few days they’ve really gotten the hang of it.
“Okay,” Melina says, pulling out her notebook. “The Farmer’s Market starts at nine, which means we’ll need to get there early to set up. Probably around seven. I talked to Maya and she says she will have the girls ready and bring them down to us since we’ll have all the inventory, tables, tent, and other set stuff.”
I listen as Melina goes over everything—this tiny stuff isn’t what I’m great at, but she is. “We’re borrowing the tent from the community center. Do you think Ben would be willing to bring it over in his truck?”
“Yeah, I think that would be fine. In the morning, right?”
“Yep, by seven. They’re going to leave it by the back door.”
I make a note on my phone. “We’ll pick it up after our deliveries this afternoon.”
The rest of the morning is a blur. The girls are making signs, tagging desserts, and stacking containers on the kitchen counter. Melina has a list of all the things we’ll need; the money box, change, information about the Girls' Home for anyone that wants to know more.
By the time our shift is over, my head is spinning, and I can feel my anxiety inching up. I’m not used to big projects like this—one of the perks and drawbacks of my tiny freak school. I’m relieved when I see Ben’s truck across the street.
“Don’t forget to ask him to get the tent, okay?”
I see a large piece of furniture wrapped and secure in the truck bed. He gives me a quick kiss before I hop in the passenger seat. “How far is the drive to Smyrna?” I ask.
“An hour and a half, probably.”
It’s right down the coast and the best way to go is the scenic view. I strap on my seat belt, feeling the jittery nerves I’ve had all day already fading. As we drive away from Ocean Grove, I stare out at the Pacific and grab Ben’s hand. After a minute I feel the urge to ask, “Do you ever just want to take off. Get in the truck and keep driving.”
He laughs. “What are you talking about?”
“We should drop off this piece of furniture, take the money, and keep moving.” Even as I say it, I feel a tug in my chest. A lure.
“Don’t you have a big commitment tomorrow morning? Something you’ve been working on for a few weeks?”
The rush of anxiety crashes back down. “Right.”
He squeezes my hand. “Maybe another time. When things aren’t so busy.”
The list of things happening in the next few weeks runs through my head. Working at the Girls' Home, taking them to FunLand, Spencer’s Party, Norah’s wedding, heading back to school.
I glance at Ben. He’s staring at the road, expression easy, shoulders relaxed. Not many of those things on my to-do list have to do with him, which stinks because all I want is to spend time with him—run away with him.
I stuff all of it deep inside, knowing I’m being weird—impulsive. We arrive in the small beachside town of Smyrna and Ben pulls the truck up to a two-story house—a bed and breakfast, according to the sign out front, with an amazing view of the ocean.
“This place is great,” Ben says, pulling down the tailgate. “Wait here and I’ll go figure out where they want this.” He stops and gives me a sweet kiss. “I thought we can have dinner somewhere down here, before we go back? Spend a little time without being so worried about people seeing us.”
I tilt my head. “Is that why you brought me here? So we can make out in public and none of our friends and family can see us?”
He stops. “I brought you here because I like spending time with you and yeah,” he kisses me gently, “there are perks to not being in town.”
He leaves me weak-kneed and returns with another man—the owner of the B&B. He smiles and greets me, but I feel far away. Tired. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I wait by the truck as they take the large, maple dresser up the stairs and into the building. I stare at the ocean feeling the push-pull of the tide. When Ben comes back I feel a little calmer—steadier.
“Mr. McCarthy suggested we go to the Smyrna Grill. Great seafood—perfect view.” He holds up a square of folded cash. “Got a good tip, too.”
“I’m proud of you,” I say as I hop off the back of the truck.
“For what?” he asks, eyes clear and bright.
“For this business. Taking initiative. You’re not who your parents think you are.”
He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re not who your parents think you are, either.”
It’s rebellious. Affirming. I lean into him as he takes my hand, walking us down the sidewalk toward the restaurant. It’s also completely not true—about me. There’s a knot in my belly, dark and confused, that’s telling me that I’m exactly who they think I am, and I don’t know how much longer I can hide it.
29
Ben
My phone buzzes,
waking me from a restless sleep. All night I was thinking about Olivia—the weird vibe she’d given me the day before. Off and on. Up and down. I couldn’t keep up with her moods.
Before dinner, she kissed me while standing in the middle of the sidewalk. After dinner she barely spoke a word. I reach for my phone and hold it to my ear.
“Hello?”
“Ben?”
“Liv? Something wrong?” I’m not sure why I ask that, other than she’s never called me early in the morning before.
“I need your help,” her voice is muffled. “With the tent. I forgot to ask you yesterday. I need you to help me get it from the community center.”
I lean back on my pillow, a small sense of relief washing over me. “Yeah, I can do that. When?”
“Now?” Her voice shakes. “Like ten minutes ago?”
I rub my face. “Yeah, okay. Let me get dressed. I’ll be right there.”
“Thank you,” she says. “I don’t know how I forgot.”
“Hey.” I reach for my shorts. “It’s okay. No big deal.”
She’s waiting outside the community center when I get there. She’s dragged the heavy tent out to the curb. I can’t help but notice the wild, panicked look on her face.
“I totally screwed up,” she says, meeting me as I get out of the cab of the truck. “Melina’s going to kill me.”
“Liv, it’s fine.” She paces behind me. Her shirt is wrinkled and she’s wearing the same shorts as yesterday. “Did you get any sleep last night?”
“Not really.” She bends to pick up one end of the tent. “I started thinking about everything we needed to do today and how much the kids are looking forward to it. Then I started tracking the weather. The sky looks clear, right?”
The early morning sky is breaking California blue.
“It looks perfect. Here,” I say, taking the tent from her and lifting over the side of the truck bed, “I’ve got it.”
She sighs. “Thank you. Again. I’m just really flustered.”
I walk up to her and rest my hands on her shoulders. This could explain some of the weirdness last night. “It’s going to be fine. You guys have worked really hard on it and everyone loves to give back to those girls. I know I’ll be there to buy up all the brownies.”
Her expression relaxes. “Why are you so good to me?”
“Because I lo—” I stop myself. Where the heck had that come from? I start again. “Because you’re my girl and I’ve got your back, even at six-thirty in the morning.”
She wraps her arms around me in a tight, breath-taking hug. It’s early and there’s no one around so I bask in her touch, so brazen and bold on the streets.
“Come on,” I say, not really want into release her, “let’s go sell some cookies.”
Once we're set up, and the Farmer’s Market gets underway, Olivia seems to settle down. We get the tent up easily, and Melina sets up the folding table. The kids arrive in a long line, pulling two wagons filled with boxed-up treats. A little girl with red hair holds hand-drawn signs.
“Oh, we forgot tape!” Olivia says, slapping her forehead.
“I’ve got it.” Melina rummages around a storage container. She pulls out the tape and tosses it to Olivia.
“Here,” I say, taking it from her. “I'll put them up. You go help Melina.”
I’m tearing off pieces of tape when the redhead walks up with her stack of signs.
“What’s your name?” she asks.
“Ben. What’s yours?”
“AJ.” She narrows her eyes. “You’re the one that kisses Olivia in the truck, right?”
I shake my head and fight a smile. “Maybe. What are you, a snoop?”
“It’s like, right outside the window. If you’re trying to be sneaky, you’re doing a bad job of it.”
She’s probably right about that. I hold out my hand for a sign. She gives me one.
“It’s okay, I like you better than the lifeguard.”
It’s my turn to frown. “What lifeguard?”
“He’s at the beach. He helped me when I stepped on a shell.” She hands me another sign. “He likes Olivia, but she kisses you.”
“AJ!” Maya calls, giving her a pointed look. “Leave Ben alone and come help price these cookies.” The little girl hands over the signs and Maya takes them, shaking her head at me. “Sorry about that.”
“Liv told me they ask a million questions. I should have been prepared.” I put up the last sign and tape it to the tent rails, then hand over the tape. “I think that should do it.”
“Thank you,” she says, glancing over her shoulder at Olivia, who is busy directing the girls. “For helping today and for being a friend to Olivia. She’s needed someone in her life that she can trust.”
I look over at Liv. The girl I love, yeah. Love. I almost told her today but held back. I feel it. In my bones. It came to me when I jumped out of bed to go help her. When she smiled at me in relief. I’m not ready, and I get the feeling she’s definitely not ready either.
“I’ve known Olivia for a long time—my whole life, really—but this is the first time I’ve really seen her and gotten to know her. I hope she can trust me. I want to be that person for her. It’s just hard with our families and being at different places in our lives.”
“She’s come a long way and probably still has further to go.” She touches my arm. “If you ever feel overwhelmed or worried, talk to someone, okay?”
I search her face, unsure what she means. Melina calls her name, and she gives me a small grin. “Nice to meet you, Ben.”
“You, too,” I reply, wondering if I’m missing something, but then I look up at Olivia and she’s smiling back at me and my heart kicks into gear like a locomotive. I’m not missing anything. I’ve found exactly what I need.
30
Olivia
The day rushes by in a blur. Customers line up for the treats that the kids have made and some of the stress of the last few days starts to diminish. I’m excited—thrilled, actually. I haven’t been part of a successful project in a long time, and it feels good to accomplish something.
We’re about an hour from closing when Norah and Gabe show up. She looks cute in high-waisted shorts and a white tank. Even though it’s summer, Gabe has on his black cap and sunglasses. He actually does get recognized sometimes.
“Any of those peanut butter cookies left?” Norah asks, walking up to the table. Melina and I have taken a spot behind the girls, letting them do most of the work.
“I think so,” Abbigail says, looking through the packages. Things were orderly a few hours ago but now everything’s lumped together.
“How’s it going?” Gabe asks me, looking over the girls' heads. He waves at Melina, having met her at the house the other night.
“Almost sold out, you got here just in time.”
“You earn enough money for the field trip?”
“It’ll be close,” Melina replies. Her notebook is sitting on her lap. She’s been doing figures all day. “I think maybe we can get a discount for having a group and maybe they’ll make a special consideration for our circumstances.”
“What circumstances?” Beverly asks, pushing her glasses up her nose.
“Um,” Melina starts, but Abbigail cuts her off.
“She means the fact we’re orphans or whatever.”
“No,” Melina says, “that’s not what I meant.”
Norah is still picking through the treats, a pile in her hand. My sister is notorious for her sweet tooth.
“How much do you need to sell? Like, dollar amount?” Gabe asks.
“Probably about a hundred dollars. Our remaining inventory is about half that.”
Gabe reaches into his pocket and pulls out some money. A lot of money. I watch my future brother-in-law count off the bills and say, “I want everything you’ve got left.”
“Everything?” AJ says, staring at the money.
“Gabe,” I say, “you don’t have to do that.”
�
��I’m going to a pool party tonight and whatever Norah doesn’t eat in the car, I’ll take to that.”
I narrow my eyes. “What pool party?”
“At Ben’s. Didn’t he tell you?”
He’d left in a hurry, having gotten a last-minute delivery. We were packed at the time and barely said goodbye. I pull my phone out of my pocket. Sure enough, there’s a text telling me to head to his house tonight—with my bathing suit.
Gabe hands the cash over to Abbigail and AJ picks up a box under the table. She shoves all the remaining treats into the box and holds it out to Norah.
“Say thank you,” Melina says, hopping to her feet.
“Thank you,” the girls say, staring down at the money. It’s more than one hundred dollars. Probably more than that.
“Really, thank you. And if you didn’t know, I’m a huge fan of your work. Massive. We really appreciate this.”
Norah rolls her eyes and snorts. “See? Fangirls everywhere.”
“See you tonight, Liv.”
I nod, feeling a rush of warmth for my almost-brother-in-law. “Thanks again.”
He smiles and they wander down the market, ducking into a booth with handmade soap.
“Did Gabe Foster really just give us the money we need for our trip?” Melina asks, staring at the money.
“Yeah, he did. He’s a good guy.”
“An amazing guy,” she says, directing the girls to start cleaning up. With everything sold, we can go ahead and pack up for the day. Melina looks at me. “You’ve got some awesome people in your life.”
“Well, you have a Hector.”
We both laugh, but she’s right. They are awesome and they’re there for me despite the fact I’ve been keeping secrets all summer. Maybe it’s time to come clean.
My skin itches as my mother drives me to Ben’s house for the party. Yes, my mom is driving me. When I got home from work, I passed out from being up so early and having so much nervous energy for the last few days. When I finally got up, groggy and a little confused, I found out Norah and Gabe left without me. It’s a long bike ride so Mom offered to take me. It only reinforces the fact I’m a kid that has to rely on my parents to take me to meet my older boyfriend who has his own house, vehicle, and business.
Olivia and the Older Boy: Young Adult Sweet Romance (Love in Ocean Grove Book 5) Page 12
