I didn’t! I so did not want it, but when I told Aren that, it didn’t go down too well.
Hazel had been right.
Walter was a dark man who liked dark pleasure, and Aren had booked me in for a night.
“I want you to impress the pants off that guy. You’ve got him for a night, so make it count.”
“The night? I thought it was just a private performance.”
“Yes, and after that performance, you’ll accompany him for the evening.”
“To do what?”
“Whatever he wants you to.”
The smirk on Aren’s face shot through my head again, making my vision blurry. My voice faltered, and I tripped over the line about wanting him in my bed.
“Shit, Rachel! Would you get it right? We don’t have all day!”
Aren was mean when he was hung over. He turned away from my vicious glare.
“Start again!” he shouted over his shoulder.
I pressed my lips together, sucking in some much-needed air through my nose. “I need a break.”
“You’ll get one when you’ve got it right.”
“I—” I swallowed back my protest. I couldn’t argue. He’d just go on about the contract and threaten me with destroying Josh’s livelihood.
Damn my foolish ambition!
The song started up yet again and Aren pointed his finger, silently commanding me to go back to the beginning again! I cleared my throat and strutted to my starting position, trying to keep my chin high, but it was damn hard. The music kicked in with a cheerful beat, but I stood my ground until the lyrics started, then I moved across the stage, doing all the things Aren told me to. The song was going well, and I thought I might get through it without having to stop, until I glanced up and noticed a shadow at the back of the room.
I didn’t have to see his features to know who it was—those broad shoulders, the way his feet were planted. I knew every curve and ridge of that body.
I froze, the air in my lungs becoming quicksand.
Josh.
What the hell was he doing here?
“Rachel! What the fuck is wrong with you today!” Aren growled at me, but I didn’t even flinch.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Josh. He moved further into the room, his features illuminated as he stepped into the center of the dance floor.
Damn, he was still as hot as ribs on a barbecue.
The ache for him, the one I’d been trying so hard to ignore, surged within, followed quickly by a spike of fear…then a deep-seated shame.
My cheeks burned, my eyes shifting over every inch of Josh’s disgusted, sorrowful expression.
I caught Aren’s glare out of the corner of my eye. He spun to see what had me paralyzed.
“What the hell is he doing in here?” Aren pointed at Josh and thundered toward him. “I don’t know how you got in here, buddy, but get lost. The club doesn’t open until six, okay? You can pay your entry fee then and see as much of my girls as you like.”
“I’m only here for one, and I ain’t leaving without her.” Josh pointed to me.
“Excuse me?” Aren flicked back his jacket, placing his hands on his hips. “Look, I don’t know who you are, and I really couldn’t give a shit right now, but my girl needs to practice and you’re—”
“She’s my girl.” Josh stepped across the room, towering over Aren and looking ready to pummel him.
That un-froze me.
I flinched, scooting to the edge of the stage and clambering down the stairs before Josh did something that could put him in jail.
“Security!” Aren hollered.
“Josh.” I raced to his side, nearly breaking my damn ankle. He caught my elbow, that look of confused disgust marring his expression again.
“Josh?” Aren stood back. “As in Joshua Clark?” His gaze narrowed, his eyes dancing with a dark malice that made my skin crawl.
“He’s leaving.” I grabbed Josh’s arm, trying to spin him around and push him to the door.
“I ain’t going anywhere.” Josh crossed his arms, making my hand look small and pathetic on his bulging forearm.
“Get him out of here, Rachel!” Aren snapped.
I dug my fingers into Josh’s arm, near desperate as Murphy and Boxer strolled into the room. Josh could take them, but that didn’t matter. He couldn’t pick me up and carry me out of here even if I wanted him to. There was too much at stake…too much he didn’t know.
I had to get him out safely and send him back home before Aren took everything from him.
“Josh, please, just go.”
His head whipped toward me. He looked tired, his anger not having the same spark and flare it usually did. The poor guy had probably driven all damn night to see me, and I was kicking him out before he’d even had a chance.
But he didn’t understand.
“Come on, I’ll walk you out.” I yanked on his arm, pulling him to the door.
He resisted me, flicking my hand off.
“I can have one of my guards assist you, if you’d prefer.” With a smug smile, Aren pointed at the two burly guys behind him.
Josh’s chest puffed out at the challenge and he growled, “I’d like to see them try.”
“Josh, please.” He ignored my quiet warning, standing his ground like a towering redwood.
Boxer moved first, stepping into Josh’s personal space.
Bad idea.
They didn’t call my man Grizzly Bear for nothin’.
Josh’s fist fired without warning, knocking Boxer clean off his feet, which was a pretty big coup. Boxer was a large man, although it was more fat than muscle…unlike my Grizz.
A flash of pride swept through me, and I was fighting a smile until Aren pulled a phone from his jacket pocket.
“Josh!” I snatched the crook of his arm, yanking hard so he couldn’t be throwing any more punches. “You gotta go! This ain’t worth it. He’ll call the police, and this is LA. There won’t be no Sheriff Tolsen walking in here with a friendly smile.”
My warning made him feel small-town. I could tell by the way the tendon in his neck pinged. He slowly turned back to face me while Boxer struggled to stand behind him. The guard’s expression was thunderous, but I could tell he wasn’t about to take Josh on unless Aren ordered him to.
“Come on, let me walk you out. Please.”
Josh’s jaw clenched tight, making his powerful face look even more commanding. My belly quivered with heat, and it took everything in me not to jump into his arms. I fought my desire, digging my heels into that floor and trying not to fold. Eventually Josh turned, firing a nasty glare at Aren before letting me guide him from the room.
“Follow her. Make sure she doesn’t go anywhere,” Aren muttered to Murphy.
Josh flinched, his fingers bunching into two tight fists.
“Don’t!” I warned him before calling over my shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be back in just a minute.”
Josh stiffened at my words. It was like walking a damn scarecrow out of the club. His body resisted me the whole way. He had yet to say anything, and I kind of dreaded what was coming when we stepped into the street, but at least I would have him out of the club and hopefully in a few short minutes heading back to Payton…safe and sound, where he belonged.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Josh
We stepped into a back alley that smelled like trash. I scanned the grimy surfaces and cringed. It seemed to sum up what Rachel was doing and it made me sick.
“Josh, what are you doing here?” Rachel’s question slapped me in the face, turning my insides to stone.
How could that be the first thing she said to me after I’d hauled my ass over a thousand miles to see her?
A hard bitterness I hadn’t counted on twisted my gut into tight knots. I ran a hand through my hair, looking away from her and clenching my jaw. I wanted to thunder and scream—ask her what the hell she was doing up on that stage, dancing like some hooker. I wanted to grab her by the shoul
ders and shake her until she snapped out of it.
I thought she’d be relieved to see me. I expected her to run into my arms, maybe trembling just a little, and beg me to get her out of the place. I definitely did not expect her to be standing in a garbage-can alley asking me why I’d come, in that accusing tone of hers.
I turned back to face her, barely getting out the cutting words through my clenched teeth. “I came to make sure you were okay and weren’t being forced into something you didn’t want to do.” I yanked the flyer from my back pocket and flicked it at her. It landed on the ground between us, her naked photo on full display. “I guess I understand now why you never called to update me.”
Rachel’s expression crumpled and she stood on the image, kicking it away with the tip of her pointy, red shoe.
“What the hell are you wearing?”
She closed her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s just a costume.”
“I can see everything!” I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help running my eyes down her body—a body I knew so well. She was damn sexy, but I wasn’t turned on like I usually would be. Rachel didn’t wear slut well, or maybe she did and that’s what was killing me. I turned away from her. The idea of other men ogling her in that thing made my muscles so taut I thought they might snap.
Grinding my teeth together, I sniffed, wondering what I was supposed to say to her. I didn’t exactly feel like opening up my heart anymore.
“I’m sorry I haven’t called.” She swallowed, tucking a springy curl behind her ear and staring at the pavement. “It’s been busy here. I…” She sighed, closing her eyes for a second. “Josh, you have to go.”
“I came to bring you home,” I spat, hardly sounding inviting, but I was on a mission. Although Rachel wasn’t begging me to take her, maybe Uncle Amos was right. Maybe she was at Club Liberation against her will. I softened my tone. “It’s okay, you know. You can come back. There’s always a home for you in Payton.”
“I can’t.” She shook her head, a brief anguish flashing over her face before she lifted her chin in my direction. “Payton’s not my home. I’m… It never has been.”
Her words hurt so bad I almost forgot how to breathe. Why was she doing this? Why was she choosing this over us? I was here for her, ready to rescue her from this hellhole, and she was saying no. Anger scratched at me, a bitter resentment turning my tone toxic. “You’re becoming the girl your ma wanted you to, huh? On your way to making it.” I couldn’t help my mockery. “I bet she’d be real proud if she saw you right now.”
Rachel’s nose twitched the way it always did when she was holding in her words. I had no idea what she wanted to unleash on me. I kind of wanted her to get mad. Maybe a good argument would set us right. We could shout it out and get back on track. I wanted to poke her again, see if I could rile her enough to break, but her lips started wobbling and I lost my nerve.
“That’s not…” She blinked a couple of times, gazing at the grimy wall to our right.
A whiff of stinky trash wafted in the air around us. I wrinkled my nose and bit my lips together.
Rachel’s voice trembled when she finally spoke. “It’s not what you think. I—”
“Do you want this?” I stepped into her space, gently touching her cheek with the pads of my fingers. “Do you really want to be here right now?”
She wouldn’t look at me, in spite of the fact my thumb was coaxing her chin up. She sniffed sharply then finally turned her head to face me. “Yes. This is what I want.”
She said the words with such conviction I had to let her go. I stepped back from her like she was diseased or something. She wanted this? She wanted this over me?
“Is that all our relationship was worth to you? I thought we had something.” I choked out the words, taking another step away from her.
“We do!” She reached out, her voice pitching in alarm before dipping low. “We…did.” She gazed down at the pavement, her long curls hiding everything from me.
Did—I hated that damn word. I mean, I guess I knew we were over, but I thought if only we could see each other, it’d make it all good again. I wanted to save her from this place and she wasn’t letting me. Anger coursed through me in black, suffocating waves. It was hard to talk, to see straight. As much as I wanted to throw Rachel over my shoulder and march her to my truck, I couldn’t. She didn’t want that. She wanted to stay here, dressed in nothing and singing on some stage.
I never thought she’d lower herself to that. She’d done things she wasn’t proud of before, but that was to survive. This time around she had a home, a safe haven, and she wasn’t choosing it. I couldn’t understand why.
I made one last attempt, desperation lacing my voice. “You’re honestly choosing this over us?”
She closed her eyes with a heavy sigh, her voice soft and broken. “Just go, Josh. Go home.”
The words burned me, turning my insides to ash. Bitterness coated my mouth, unleashing a harsh growl that I’d never used with her before. “I can’t believe you ran off and became the slut everyone thought you were.” My eyes narrowed into tiny slits. She pinched her arms, refusing to look up at me. “And to think I was the one who was wrong.”
With a shake of my head, I spun away from her, marching back to my truck in a fuming rage. She didn’t call out my name or chase after me. My words probably had her nailed to the spot. They were pretty damn mean, and I guess I regretted them, but I wasn’t about to turn around and take them back. I had to get the hell out of there.
I was dog-tired, but I didn’t care. I wanted home. I needed to get away from that club as fast as I could. I needed to get away from the girl I loved, who’d turned herself into something I couldn’t stand.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Rachel
Josh’s closing statement tore me in half. I stood in that alley, splintered and rigid, fighting my tears. Murphy came out and found me, took me by the arm, and silently hauled me back inside. I didn’t fight him. I was numb.
“Is he gone?” Aren snapped at me.
I nodded.
“Good, now get back up on that stage and finish practicing. And Rachel…” He pointed at me. “If he comes around here again, it’s not going to be pleasant, for either of you.”
I turned away from his warning, resisting the urge to give him the finger as I walked back to the stage. I got up and did my thing, going through the motions like a robot. Aren made me do it five more times before finally letting me sit down for a drink.
He placed a whiskey in front of me. “Drink up. We need to loosen those limbs. You’re still too stiff.”
I sipped at the burning liquid to appease him.
“Walter’s going to be here in about five hours. You can rest in the back today. I don’t want you going home. Have a sleep, a shower, and then get dolled up. This has got to be the best performance you have ever given, you understand me?”
“How much will you be making?” I muttered.
“What?”
“You’re hankering for me to sign something with Walter, which means you must be making a pretty penny.”
Aren gave me a smarmy smile as he leaned toward me. “Whatever figure he whispered in your ear last night, I get forty percent of it.”
“Forty?” I slammed my glass onto the table.
“It’s in the contract. You read that paragraph, right?” He sniggered and snapped his fingers at Murphy. “Take her upstairs and make sure she doesn’t leave.”
The round guard went to help me up, but I flicked him away. “I can walk on my own.” Then, of course, my ankle rolled in those damn shoes! I kicked them off and clutched them to my chest, padding out of the room and away from the one man set on ruining my life.
But I was the one who signed, wasn’t I?
I was the one who sealed my own damn fate.
The look on Josh’s face before he walked away nearly killed me. He believed every lie I told him. It hurt that he’d bought it all so easily. He’d come a
ll this way to get me, and I’d had to turn him away.
Murphy opened the door for me, and I stepped into a small, hotel-like room. It had a double bed, a vanity, and a bathroom off to the side. Plain and simple.
“I’ll be just outside the door,” Murphy mumbled before closing it behind him.
The click made me flinch, the sound having a finality to it that was heartbreaking.
I’d lost Josh. My knees gave out on me and I crumpled to the floor. The one man who’d taken me in, in spite of my past, had just turned his back on me. He’d always looked at me differently, but for the first time ever, he wore the same judgmental scowl as every other person in Payton. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t go back. He said he’d always forgive me, but I didn’t think he could forgive me for this.
The tears I’d been fighting burned my eyes, a few trickling free. I let them run down my face. They tickled my cheeks, but I didn’t bother brushing them away. I was having a black hole moment. I’d had them before, when my world started crumbling around me and I didn’t think I was going to make it.
My lowest point had been the day Josh found me. The only thing I’d had left to my name was Mama’s guitar, and I didn’t have it in me to sell it. I hadn’t eaten anything in four days. I was starving, sick, and a thunderstorm had been following me for at least a day. I hadn’t been able to outrun it anymore, so I’d snuck through an open gate into a square backyard and huddled in a doorway, trying to stay dry. It hadn’t worked. The freezing rain had pelted me until I didn’t think I could stand it. Mercy found me and sucked me into oblivion, and then Josh opened his back door and I was redeemed.
He’d saved my life that day, and he’d driven all the way to California to do it again.
And what had I done?
I’d thrown him away. I’d lied to his face so he’d leave me.
I sucked in a shaky breath, my body quivering. I’d been in survival mode since that first photo shoot, fooling myself into thinking I could do this, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to.
The idea of having rough sex with Walter Spence was unbearable. Who gave a shit about a music video contract anyway? I couldn’t do it! I wouldn’t.
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