by Nikki Steele
A kiss. On the front steps of my place. Spontaneous and wonderful. I’d invited him inside, neither of us knowing what we were doing.
Drinks. In my kitchen, then my bedroom. Knowing without words where it would end.
Ryan looked so sweet lying shirtless beside me, with his dark mussed up hair and five o’clock shadow. Had… had we done anything? I couldn’t remember. I lifted the sheets, to look down at myself. Oh God—I wasn’t wearing a shirt either. But… I was wearing panties. I breathed a sigh of relief.
I think… well, I wasn’t sure. What had happened last night?
Ryan was my best friend. We were similar in so many ways, but different in so many more. The differences made our friendship work. But those same differences—they’d never work if we ever took it further. He was a womanizer. I wasn’t. I mean, sure, I’d been with Edward, and he hadn’t been my first. But I did it with the intent of creating something long term. Ryan? All of his relationships were over on the third date.
Not that he wasn’t a catch—far from it. He had girls swarming for him. He had the looks, and the body, and money to boot—not his own, admittedly. Did it really matter whether the Merc you drove was your own, or a gift from your parents?
Ryan would say it did, of course. We’d had many discussions on the topic. He didn’t like accepting gifts—he valued being independent. It was kind of hard though when your parents were multi-millionaires. And he didn’t like people dating him for his money—it was why most dates only ever lasted three meals.
He had the most gorgeous blue eyes… Oh God—I think I told him that last night!
My mind snapped back to my current predicament. I was lying semi-naked in bed with my best friend, who I may or may not have fooled around with. I wasn’t the sort of woman Ryan dated. Oh God—please, don’t let us have done anything! Our friendship had lasted most of our life, I would be able to bear it if it only lasted three more dates.
Please don’t let this ruin things. Please! Don’t let this ruin things.
CHAPTER TWO
I think I’ve ruined things
Posted by Miss Kitty [09:45]
I’m writing this post from an internet café because as we speak there’s a half-naked man lying in bed at my place.
Before you start cheering, this is not a good thing. The man is my best friend, and I think I’ve just ruined everything.
Ryan, I know you’ll read this when you wake up. You’re the only one who knows who I really am—the only one I trust with my public as well as my private life. So don’t get me wrong. I don’t blame you. You kissed me, but I was the one who invited you inside. You’re actually a very good kisser, has anyone ever told you that? I was seeing stars on that doorstep.
But… I woke up this morning to find you lying beside me and… well… lovers come and go, but best friends are forever. I don’t think we did anything. I hope we didn’t do anything. Because I desperately don’t want things to change.
I know you probably feel the same. You’re regretting this, even as you read it. So I’m letting you off the hook. Can we try and forget about it? Please? Because right now, I really need a friend.
The text message came not long after.
So… hey. Maddigans, 20 minutes?
It was an eternity before mussed hair and five o’clock shadow slid into the seat before me. I didn’t look at him. Couldn’t look at him. I felt like crying.
“Tiff. Are you ok?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “Last night. What happened?”
“You don’t remember?” His hand went to my face, pulling it up.
I shook my head. “I don’t know if I want to.”
He hesitated. “I read your blog.”
“I thought you would.”
“Do you really feel that way?”
“I don’t want to lose you Ryan.”
“You won’t.”
“I really need a friend right now.”
“I am.”
I was suddenly, irrationally angry. “But you wouldn’t be. You’d ditch me like every other girl you’ve ever met.”
I didn’t know what I would do without Ryan. He’d always been there. A confidant, a fellow mischief maker, a rock for me to lean on. Losing him was the most terrifying thing that could ever happen. And I knew, if I let things progress, that it would happen…
“Tiff, I won’t deny in the past that women have tended to come and go. I guess… well, I’ve been looking for something… someone special. I’m tired of one night stands, Tiff. I don’t want to do them anymore.”
He’d as good as said it. Friendship was the only option I had. I should be happy, so why was I suddenly blinking back tears? My lower lip began to quiver.
Ryan’s hand reached across the table once more, to stroke it. “Tiff…”
“Please. Don’t say it. I’m begging you.” I didn’t want to hear that I’d ruined everything. I needed Ryan to be my best friend. I needed him to not dump me like every other floozy that had ever been through his bed. “Can’t things just go back to the way they were? Please?”
His eyes clouded, considering my words. But then they cleared. He smiled, and squeezed my hand. “You’re acting like something happened last night. We slept in the same bed, no big deal.”
“Really?” A wave of relief swept over me. Maybe I hadn’t ruined things after all?
He shrugged. “I guess I should apologize for kissing you, right?”
It felt good to talk about this, for all that I’d posted I didn’t want to. “Perhaps… perhaps we just blame it on the vodka?”
“Sure. If it makes you happy Tiff.” He grew serious, taking my hand once more to give it a squeeze. “Anything to make you happy.”
“You really mean that?”
“Of course.”
I forced a laugh, words issuing from me in a torrent. “Not that we’d be any good together anyway. We’re total opposites—you have money, I don’t. I’m tidy, you’re not. Can you imagine if we dated? I’d always be nag, nag, nag trying to get you to cut your hair. You’d hate me!”
“You really think I’m a slob?”
“Don’t try and change the subject. We both know you’re a slob. Look, let’s just chalk last night down to a mistake, ok? The vodka.”
Ryan hesitated, then squeezed my hand back. “Anything to make you happy.”
* * *
It seemed today was going to be all about ups and downs. I was in the carpark when I saw him.
“Tiffany?”
Tall, handsome, grey suit and expensive watch. I did a double take. “Edward?”
“I’m so glad I bumped into you.”
Edward, the man who had tried to buy my body. The man who had thrown me out when I refused. I took a step back, the pain of our last meeting flaring before my eyes. Bumped into me, my ass. “Don’t you even dare. I don’t want to know you. I don’t want to ever speak to you again.”
“Tiffany. Stop.”
“No. I told you before. I won’t sign your contract. I won’t be a part of your games. I won’t be your…” I spat the word out. The word that I’d been thinking silently—“sex slave.”
He stepped back, giving me room, holding up his hands. “Good. That’s good.”
A retort was halfway through my mouth before I processed what he’d said. I cut it off. “What?”
“I said good. I don’t want you to sign a contract.” He took a step toward me. “I want to say I’m sorry.”
I shook my head, confused. “No, you don’t get to say that. To apologize for what you did. You’re a horrible person.”
“I deserve that. And I apologize for what I put you through.” His lips quirked. “Well, not everything. I did enjoy the horse riding.”
Against my will, my heart beat a little quicker. We both knew he wasn’t talking about the horse riding. Being tied up like that… I pushed the stirring in my loins firmly down.
“Yes. Well it’s a shame then that you’ll never get to ride me agai
n, is it?” Dammit! I’d meant to say ride with me.
I colored. He laughed. “You’ve got a spark that won’t be tamed. You speak your mind. And you’ve made me change mine.”
“I’m happy I had such an effect on you Edward. Now if you’ll excuse me.” I held my handbag tight, stepping around him.
He stepped again into my path. “Tiffany. Those words I said before… I was too hasty. Give me another chance. We can start slow.”
I stopped once more. “Like I said, I’m happy for you. But I’ve got places I need to be.”
He continued as if he hadn’t heard what I’d said. “A regular date. Something normal, simple—a movie perhaps?”
I looked at him suspiciously. “You’re not the type to do movies, Edward.” Then I thought about that contract. “Actually, scrub that, you do ‘do’ movies. But not the type that I want to star in.”
Edward shook his head. “You’ve changed me, Tiffany. Made me realize the error of my ways.”
My heart wanted to believe his words. But a little voice inside me didn’t trust them. It was all just a little too… fairytale. Perhaps, the little voice said, Edward just didn’t like to lose.
“What about the other women? The ones you already… play with?”
His fists clenched. “They hold no interest to me.”
Edward, a billionaire that could have any woman he wanted, desperate only for me? I wanted to believe, and yet… “You made me walk home in the rain, Edward.”
His hand went to my waist. “I followed, eventually, but you were gone. I assume you caught a taxi?”
I didn’t answer him. What had happened between Ryan and myself was none of his business… except, of course, it was. It was because of him that we had kissed.
This was all too confusing. “Look. Edward,” I said. “I can’t do this right now. Thank you for the apology, but…” The words came out fast. “I don’t think I can give you the relationship you want. And I don’t think you can give me the relationship I want, either.”
“I’ve changed, truly.” He pressed his card into my hand. “And you’ll change your mind too, eventually. I know it.”
CHAPTER THREE
Cat got my tongue
Posted by Miss Kitty [15:21]
So… I’m sorry I’ve been offline for a week. I’ve been dealing with some personal stuff. There was drinking involved, and some serious confusion, but I think now I’m back to normal. I’ll post properly soon, but for now I just wanted you all to know that I’m doing fine. Better than that, actually. I’ve got a suitor!
Meow for now!
=^o.o^=
Miss Kitty
“So have you called him?”
“Of course not!”
Ryan let out a sigh over the phone. “Good.” He coughed. “I mean, not because of… well… we’re just friends, you know, but I don’t like the guy. People like that… they don’t change, Tiffany, even if they say they’re going to.”
I’d told Ryan about Edward, of course. And for the last seven days, every day, he’d asked the same question, in some form or another. He said it was because he worried when he couldn’t see me—he’d been busy lately with something and we hadn’t been able to catch up.
But I thought it was also because of the gifts. Each day this week, Edward had sent me something. The first day it had been a single bunch of flowers. I’d kept them.
The second day, it had been 200 beautiful, long stemmed roses. I’d kept them too, though I’d had to put most in jam jars. The florist must have said something, because the next day I got 500 roses, and 25 beautiful lead crystal vases to match. It seemed each day that I turned Edward down, he only got more interested.
On the fourth day, a courier had arrived on my doorstep with a package that required my signature. Inside had been a diamond necklace. I couldn’t keep something like that—I’d had to refuse delivery.
The fifth day, and the sixth and seventh, had been similar. Perfume. A Louis Vuitton handbag, the brown leather so soft and supple I just wanted to rub it against my cheeks. A Ralph Lauren watch with petite diamonds in place of numerals on its face. I was going to return that last one, I really was…I just hadn’t quite gotten round to it yet.
He’d been texting me, too.
If I thought you had the room, I’d buy you
that pony you’ve always wanted.
I don’t want a pony.
We were amazing together.
Give me a second chance, I’ll prove it.
I didn’t know how to answer that.
Of course, Ryan did. I’d had to talk him down from calling the police. It was only stalking if I didn’t want the texts… and, well, I hadn’t decided that yet. Edward seemed to have changed. He was a different man. I wasn’t going to criticize him for that.
“I swear the best thing that could happen to that guy right now,” Ryan fumed over the phone, “short of dying in some sort of fiery explosion, is that he go out and get laid.”
That made me snort with laughter, which only made Ryan angrier.
“No seriously. He doesn’t care about you. He just can’t have you. That matters to guys like him.”
“Are you suggesting I’m not worth the attention?” I asked archly.
Ryan calmed immediately. “Tiff, no, of course not.”
“Well what do you mean then?”
“Look, it’s like this. Guys only ever truly forget their last girlfriend when they sleep with the next.”
“We weren’t an item, Ryan.”
“It sounds like he wants you to be.”
“Would that be so bad?”
“Tiff! I can’t believe you’re even saying that! The man tried to buy you!”
“That just means I’m worth something.”
“He tried to get you to sign a horrible contract.”
“He says that I’ve changed him.”
I could hear Ryan growing exasperated. “He doesn’t love you Tiff. Not like… not like…”
“Not like what, Ryan?”
“Not like you deserve, is all I was going to say. Look. I’ve got to go, before I say something I regret. Just promise me Tiff. Promise me you won’t get back together with him. For me, please?”
I didn’t know what to say to that, either.
CHAPTER FOUR
Love in black and white
Posted by Miss Kitty [11:00]
Wouldn’t it be great if life was like those old black and white movies that used to be on late night TV? My makeup would always be picture perfect the minute I got out of bed. Misunderstandings with boys would never last more than 90 minutes screen time. And men would always say what they mean. You’d know who the hero was because he would pick up the heroine and convince her of his love with a passionate kiss.
Not that life as a black and white movie wouldn’t have it’s challenges, or course. There’s always a bad guy, for a start (the movie would be pretty boring without one). And he always manages to kidnap the heroine, tying her to train tracks or a table or a tree in the forest.
I guess those scenes are supposed to be scary. But they never are, for me. When I watch those movies, I look forward to them. Because I know that just afterward, I’ll see the scene I’ve been waiting the entire movie to watch.
Hasn’t every little girl wanted to be rescued at some stage in her life? To be saved by a gallant hero? Hasn’t every woman dreamed at one stage or another of a man putting everything on the line for her? Of being so important to someone that nothing could keep them apart. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe life just isn’t black and white.
Miss Kitty.
[There are 5 new comments]
Kansas: Nice post
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Catlover: So true. But in real life? A guy grabs a girl and kisses her- that’s harassment. A guy sends a girl flowers? That’s stalking. Really makes you think—what’s the world coming to?
Use
r69: Marry Me
Ryan007: Stop watching so much TV girl. And check your phone!
Rar-o-rar-raa…
I turned the keys in the ignition one last time, but my little Fiat just wasn’t going to start. I sighed and climbed back out. I was going to be late to see Ryan—what a day for old faithful to die!
Then I chuckled. It had been a good innings, but when your car started to be known as ‘Old Faithful?’ I should have been expecting this.
I pulled my handbag off the front seat, and then flagged down a taxi that had been lurking nearby.
“Hi, where to?” asked the Cabbie. He had slicked back hair and wore a leather jacket just a little too small for his thick body, like a fat James Dean.
“Do I know you?”
“I don’t think so ma’am.”
There was something about him that seemed… familiar. I guess maybe all cab drivers had that look, as if you’d met them before. They were the grey man of the modern age—faceless, always there. Always talking about the same three topics—the weather, what their day had been like, and politics. In a way I had met him before, I suppose—every time I’d ever climbed into a taxi.
He was looking at me expectantly, and I realized with a start I hadn’t given him directions yet.
“Oh. Corner of Second and Main, please.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Please, call me Tiff.”
“Thanks Tiff. I’m Marty.” He stretched out his hand for me to shake while he drove. A smile crept over my face. There—grey man no more. My driver had a name, Marty.
I looked at the text again. It was from Ryan.
Need your help :) Meet me at midday, my place?
Well, I’d answered the call. Things had been weird lately, but I felt like that was finally starting to settle down. We were slipping back into friendship mode. If Ryan needed my help, I was happy to answer. Especially if lunch was on the cards—for all that he was a slob at home, Ryan frequented to some nice places when he went out.
