by Eve R. Hart
“I gotta…shit,” I said to Nadya as I jumped up, phone still glued to my ear. “Uh, can you handle this?”
I hated to brush her off, but I had no choice. I kind of knew that she’d had enough training to be able to take the group of men out all by herself. But the thing was, would she go in there with a level head? There was only one of me and I knew I was going to have to leave it up to the universe.
“Yeah, no worries,” she said and I could hear her cool mask settling into place. The worry eased slightly. “I got this.”
I disconnected the call and opened the door just enough for Burke to slip his big body through. Then I closed us in, locking every single lock that I had.
“What the fuck, Burke?!” I seethed.
As much as I wanted to slap him out of anger, I held back. Then I freaked out. There was someone in my space. Sure, I kind of knew him. I’d been talking to him for years. But I didn’t really know him. I’d only really helped him out and brought him cases. The kind of conversations we had were more work related then the get to know you kind.
“Lucy, you know how these things can go,” he said calmly obviously unaffected by my sharp tongue and red-hot rage.
He walked to the middle of the main room and did a slow turn, taking everything in. I never gave him or anyone that worked at Ashburn Security my address, and it wasn’t like I had it listed anywhere. But it didn’t surprise me at all that he knew right where to find me.
It hit me hard that he was in my space. Black spots sprinkled the outer rim of my vision. As I closed my eyes, I felt my body start to sway. And that horrible wheezing-panting sound, yeah, that was coming from me. Fuck! I didn’t have time for this right now.
“Hear my voice?” I heard Burke say through the pounding in my ears. I was pretty sure I nodded. “It’s just me. I won’t touch anything. I won’t hurt you. You know that right?” I knew for sure this time I nodded but I couldn’t open my eyes just yet. “Slow breath in. Then out.”
I felt him near but he didn’t touch me. I knew what he was doing and I did my best to follow his instructions. It took a few minutes, but I was able to get myself calmed down.
“Sorry,” I said blinking my vision clear then giving him my attention.
“Don’t be. That happen a lot?” he asked.
“Um, not really. But then again, I don’t often have people invading my space.” I answered honestly.
My skin felt hot with embarrassment. I couldn’t believe that I’d just had a panic attack. And I honestly, couldn’t really pinpoint as to why. I had an idea, but maybe I wasn’t really ready to admit it to myself. I wanted to live in the beautiful world of denial and believe that I hadn’t done this too myself. That all this time I spent cutting myself off from the outside world hadn’t really affected me.
“Please tell me something good,” I said. “Tell me that you’ve found her.”
Burke did a slow nod as he brought his hand up to rub his jawline. I could still see the blatant worry and concern for what had just happened clouding his eyes.
“I found her. I’m working on getting her out but it’s been hard. I haven’t had much contact with anyone since I went under. I’m sorry I haven’t gotten in touch but I couldn’t risk it. He’s a very controlling and paranoid man.”
I could have told him that. In fact, I was pretty sure I already had. But now wasn’t the time to say that.
“You found her?” I could hear the hope blossoming in my tone.
“Yeah,” he said and a sad frown marked his rugged face. “She’s had it pretty rough the last seven years. I’m honestly surprised that she survived it all. I don’t know everything, but I know enough to know that I have to get her out of there soon. I have a plan, but I won’t share it with you. I have to keep it as quiet as possible and I can’t have Savage thinking I had anything to do with it. There are still things…”
His voice trailed off as did his eyes. He was lost to me for a moment as he thought about things I was oblivious to. I waited because I understood how it was.
“He’s into a lot of things,” Burke finally said as he turned and walked over to the small couch I had tucked into the corner of the room. I felt the heaviness weighing him down as he lowered his body onto the cushion. “I have to stay under a while longer. There are kids…I have to find out where they are.”
“You mean who they were sold to?” I asked because I wasn’t stupid.
“Yeah,” he said with a nod but wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Only Savage knows that information. He keeps things very close to the vest. Doesn’t trust anyone. Even though he promoted me, he still doesn’t let me in. I found out about Allison a few months ago. Lucy, I have to tell you something. I probably shouldn’t, because I don’t want you to go all chick-emotional on me and run out of here and try to save the day. But I think you should know. She has a kid. A little boy, he’s not quite two yet.”
I sucked in a sharp lungful of air. I didn’t have to ask to know who the father was. I hated it for her, and for the little innocent boy. But part of me was happy that she wasn’t so alone.
“You have to get her out of there,” I said shaking out my hands because I felt antsy and restless at the fact that I was just standing there free as could be.
If I wanted to walk out of my apartment, I could. If I wanted to go get a burger, I could. Hell, if I wanted to sit around and do nothing without the worry of someone getting pissed at that, I fucking could. She didn’t have that. She’d lived that last seven years looking over her shoulder, afraid to make the wrong move. I hadn’t been there to witness it, but I knew. I could only imagine all the other things that had happened to her.
But she was still alive. I wanted to take comfort in that. I hadn’t been too late and the minutes were ticking down until Burke would get her free.
“I will, I promise,” he said and I took that to heart. Because he wasn’t a man that could live with the luxury of giving promises especially if he intended to keep them.
This was big. I could tell this whole situation was wearing him down and I could only imagine how damn hard it must have been to be under that long in such an evil environment. I didn’t even want to think of the things that he had to do to prove himself to Savage. I wondered for a long moment if it had been wrong of me to ask all of this of him. Had I been so selfish that I ruined another man’s life? Had I put him into a situation that would haunt him for a hundred lifetimes?
Everything was so fucking messed up and again, I felt like I’d had chosen the lesser of two evils. It wasn’t fair, but I’d learned a long time ago that life was rarely fair. I just prayed that Burke was as strong as I gave him credit for. And that after this job was over, he would be able to sleep at night.
I had to trust his word and I did only because I’d seen the truth in his eyes. He would do anything to get Allison free. He wouldn’t even jeopardize that by telling me anything. Which, was maybe for the best. It also made me wonder how long it would be until I could see her. Then sadness washed over me as I realized that Burke’s plan probably didn’t have that as a part of it. I knew how they worked, certain situations called for the utmost secrecy and that meant that sometimes people had to disappear. I’d seen the Ashburn group do that more than once. So it hit me then, that Allison might soon be safe but I may never know any more beyond that.
I wanted to cry at the unsaid clause. I wanted to scream and jump up and down and demand for it not to be that way. Only, I was smart enough to know that if I wanted to save her and her son’s life, I was going to have to accept this and move on.
However, the rage still came out and I unleashed with venom at Burke.
“How come it took so long? Why is she still there? If you knew she had a son, why the hell didn’t you make a move faster? And for fuck’s sake, why couldn’t you stop him—why can’t you?” He’d pretty much already let me know the answer to that last part.
“Lucy,” he said calmly, the sadness holding his eyes captive and penetrating through to
my soul.
“No, Burke,” I all but screamed.
Everything flashed in my mind. I didn’t really have an outlet and I guessed this was the moment everything chose to break free.
“What about all those other people? Huh?” I went on throwing my arms out in frustration. “What about all those dead men and their clubs and their families? What about that poor little boy? Why did he deserve that? Why the fuck couldn’t you save them? Are you so cold inside that you could just turn your back and let a father lose his son? Let a little boy get blown to bits in his sleep? How is that even right?”
I came down from my angry high now that it was all out there. My chest heaved and my eyes felt red and dry from forcing myself not to tear up.
Burke looked at me as his head did a slow nod. Was he really listening to everything I’d said? Taking it to heart, maybe?
“Should have known you would somehow know about that,” he almost mumbled like he was talking more to himself than me.
“Yeah, I do. And I know about the hit. The very one that is for that little boy’s dad who just so happened to be the lucky person that walked into that cabin first. And I know that he’s there right now to take care of the job himself.”
His head whipped back and his brows furrowed.
“You don’t know anything about this?” I asked, wincing when I realized that I’d said too much.
“No. I had no idea. Well, I knew about the hit because I was the one that met the hire and handed over the money. But I honestly thought with everything going on that no one would risk going to the cabin. And as far as the cabin goes, all I know is that it belongs to one of the clubs he’s trying to pull into his web.”
He sighed and I could see him trying to work something out in his head. Maybe even trying to fit all the pieces together. I waited.
“He just told me that he was taking a few boys and said he’d be back in a few days,” he said with a small shake of his head like he couldn’t believe he didn’t see this coming. “I figured he was going on a secret run. That’s the reason I’m here. It’s the first chance I’ve had to get away and I knew I’d need to talk to you in person.”
“I have someone handling it. I think she’ll be alright,” I said waving him off but at the same time sinking my teeth into my bottom lip nervously.
“The little boy isn’t dead,” he said pinning me with eyes full of truth. “I had no idea what he had planned and I found out at the last minute. I sent someone there to retrieve the boy without anyone knowing. He barely had time to get the boy to safety before the house exploded. He was instructed to save anyone that was in the house, but the boy’s father and a friend were out back. Before he could go back and warn them, everything happened.”
“You saved him? You made sure he got out?” I asked with utter shock.
“Yeah, Lucy. I’m not that much of a monster.”
“I-I know. I’m sorry. Where is he?”
“Somewhere safe. That’s all I can tell you right now. When things settle down we plan to bring him back. We picked up the boy’s father’s sister too. She’s with him now.”
At least the little boy had someone familiar with him.
Damn, this whole situation sucked beyond belief.
The lines blurred even more and I honestly wasn’t sure how the fuck I was supposed to keep all of this to myself. I thought of Nadya. All the things she’d been through. All the things she’d done. I thought of our friendship and though it may not have seemed like much, it meant a lot to me. I chose not to over think things right now. If there came a time where I felt it was necessary, then I was sure I’d end up telling her everything. But until that moment, I’d do my best to let everything play out the way it was planned to.
“This is one fucking giant mess,” I mumbled.
“You’re telling me,” he said and I could almost hear a forced hint of laughter in his tone. He got to his feet and I knew this conversation was over. “I have to get back. I don’t want anyone to get suspicious and it’s a bit of a drive.”
“Thanks, Burke,” I said walking him to the door. “I really mean it.”
“I know,” he replied sadly. “Chin up, doll.”
Then he was gone. However, the buzz of everything he’d told me still hummed inside the walls of my apartment. I couldn’t believe everything that I’d heard.
Like I just couldn’t take it anymore, all my strength fled me and my knees buckled. I ended up a crumpled heap on the floor right next to the closed door. With the last of my energy, I held back the tears. It was like I was so much closer, but there were still miles to go until I could breathe.
It seemed like a lifetime before I was able to pull myself together and even then, I couldn’t force myself up off the floor. I rested my head on the cool, hard floor. I was shivering yet sweating at the same time. I didn’t understand what was going on. When my eyes fluttered closed, I gave up the fight. One minute I was trying to gather my strength and the next I was out like a light.
It was the odd ringing of my phone that pulled me out of the dark. I couldn’t have been out that long, but far too much time had passed by considering what the hell was going on. I snapped to and got to my feet. I was a little shaky as I ran and dove for my phone. I didn’t recognize the number, but my gut told me to answer anyway. I flopped down in my chair as I brought the phone up to my ear. What I saw in front of me made my eyes go so wide I thought they might pop out of my head. There were several bodies throughout the main rooms of the cabin. I couldn’t see what had happened clearly enough to tell who’d taken them down, but I would have bet that it was Nadya. I didn’t know what had happened, but the fact that I couldn’t see either Nadya or the big guy among the damage felt like a good sign.
“Hello,” I finally said and my voice sounded tight and almost raw.
“I’m out, but he’s hurt.” Nadya’s voice echoed in my ear and I couldn’t help but almost want to cry with relief at the first part of her statement. “I can’t take him to a hospital and I need to know where to go.” Her words were rushed and I didn’t miss the panic and fear in her tone.
I wanted to ask how badly he was hurt but I didn’t want to waste time.
“I’ll text you directions,” I said trying to think of the closest safe place for her to go. “There is a chapter of his club a little over an hour away.”
I hung up without waiting for a response because I knew I needed to be quick. Also, I didn’t trust myself not to break down. That was the last thing she needed to add to her plate right at the moment.
Then I made a call. There was a cabin that needed to be cleaned. Sure, I could have waited until the rest of the Steel Paragons showed up to handle the situation. But something in me wanted to go ahead and get it taken care of for them. And for Nadya.
-10-
Keep Her Talking
Clean
I had started living for those phone calls. Something had changed but I couldn’t really tell you what. There was so much going on around me that I had started to feel it. And I thought that maybe it was like that for her too. The danger. The shift. There was something out there and I knew it was bad. I’d heard whispers. Snippets of conversations. The more the months passed, the thicker the tension vibrated the air. It was only a handful of MCs that I got this from. I had a feeling they were all dealing with the same thing. The same person wanting to take them all down in one way or another. Through my sporadic visits, if you wanted to call them that, I had picked up enough to know that they were all up against something big. And that they were up against the same thing, though they were all individuals in this huge battle. Each club unaware that there were others out there with the same problem.
I didn’t get involved because I really couldn’t. I had earned the respect of these people and I couldn’t break the trust they had in me. I couldn’t spill things I’d heard from other clubs. It wasn’t right. And it wouldn’t do me any good as well. I’d lose credibility. So the smart move was to keep my head down,
do my job, and act as if I didn’t know what was going on. Because I didn’t. I wasn’t supposed to.
Men had fallen. Threats had been made. And there I was surrounded by the danger and sadness of it all. It was hard not to hurt a little. Not to take a moment of pause for the men that I had somewhat known that were no longer there. It was hard not to take notice of how it scratched and tore at the core of each club member and chapters as a whole. I saw men angry. Ready for battle. Weighted down by the decisions they had to make. With each return, all of it only seemed to magnify. I saw women scared. Standing strong. And coming together like I’d never seen before. I saw children that had not a clue as to what was going on around them.
Through it all, I wondered if my psychic was feeling it too. If it was somehow hitting her a little harder than expected, much like it was doing to me.
“Hello,” I answered, my body arcing forward as the sheet fell around my waist. I wasn’t quite awake and that was apparent by my still blurry eyes.
She responded in that usual distorted voice, giving me a location. My feet felt heavy even as I moved to place them on the floor. Guessed I was headed to Florida, shame that I was all the way up in Virginia.
“Don’t go,” I said softly.
I knew I needed to get up and get moving but something was holding me back, my body not quite ready to push itself to standing position.
I expected her to hang up right away.
I expected her to clam up and freak out much like she’d done before.
But she didn’t. Though she did stay silent.
“I want to know more about you,” I started and my voice was so low I wondered if she had even heard me. I cleared my throat, not really sure why it felt clogged in the first place. “We’ve been doing this for a long time and I feel like I trust you, yet know absolutely nothing about you.”
Silence. I didn’t know if it was because she couldn’t speak or if she was waiting for me to ask something specific. So I went on, not really sure where I was trying to take this conversation. I think I was still a little shocked that she hadn’t hung up on me yet.
