"You must be exhausted."
The usually teasing lilt in Jonas's voice was replaced with genuine concern.
"It'll be dawn soon. Why don't you lean your head back and take a nap? I'll wake you before we land."
She nodded and tried to comply with his suggestion. So much had happened over the past two days. And there was something about traveling thousands of miles to attend a memorial service only to be whisked off once again to travel yet more thousands of miles to be wed that made a person just a little restless. She tried to count the hours she'd been awake, but she lost track.
She couldn't believe everything that had happened. Just yesterday, or had it been the day before, she'd been sitting in a plush hotel suite preparing notes for the article she was writing about several restaurants in the Hawaiian tropics. She'd enjoyed ocean breezes, fabulous sunsets, delicious food and wine. Who would have thought that she'd become guardian of her fourteen-month-old nephew and wife to the child's uncle? It was ludicrous! Bizarre! It would have been laughable if she were the type of person who found the twists and turns of fate a laughing matter.
A sigh escaped her. Jonas was just such a person. She'd bet her last dollar that he was dying to let loose an uproarious guffaw. Hell, he had been nothing but smiles and light-hearted banter throughout the trip. She was beginning to think that nothing could faze the man.
Mrs. Jonas Winslow! This whole business was so... weird.
But what else could she have done? she asked herself. She couldn't have let him raise Tony on his own. No way! She couldn't have allowed that to happen.
No, she'd simply stick to Jonas's plan; remain his wife for eight months, ten at the most, he'd said, and in that time she'd take a crash course in baby rearing. With Jonas there to give what help he could, Robin was a little more confident that she could learn the basics. She felt the tiniest twinge of guilt about using him this way. And using him was exactly what she was doing. Because she would never, ever agree to give him full custody of Tony. She'd have given it to his parents, but not to him. Strong conviction had her shaking her head.
Her future might be a little out-of-focus fuzzy right now regarding her career and where she and Tony would finally make their home, but she had plenty of time to work out all those details.
The plane engine hummed. One would think the passengers on this red-eye flight would be snoozing, but plenty of them chatted, laughed. A set of teen twins seated in the row behind them snapped and snarled at one another over some hand-held video game. Sleep eluded her, and there was nothing to read except the complimentary magazine published by the airline. The only thing left to do was talk.
"Will we be picking Tony up when we get in?" she asked Jonas.
"I think we should. I mean, Amy's had him for... let's see... at least five days now." He absently rubbed the back of his neck. "She was babysitting for Jeff and Sara when they... left for their long weekend in the mountains." He heaved a sigh. "This was the first time they'd left him."
She lifted her head and focused on Jonas's clear, green gaze. "What happened to them, Jonas?" she asked, the words barely a whisper. The fact that the all-important question had completely slipped her mind was proof of the magnitude of her exhaustion. "What happened to Jeff and Sara?"
There was anguish in his green gaze when he looked at her. "Carbon monoxide poisoning," he told her. "The cabin they were renting had a gas furnace, and it hadn't been cleaned properly, I guess. Spring nights in the Allegheny Mountains can get a little chilly." His eyes shifted to the small window. "Either Sara or Jeff turned up the heat before they went to bed." He cleared his throat and focused on her face as he finished, "And they didn't wake up. The police are still investigating."
Sadness swelled in her throat and her eyes prickled with emotion. Who would have thought that the purely innocent act of turning the thermostat dial could kill Jeff and Sara, two people who were…
Who were what? she wondered. At today's memorial service she'd made the painful discovery that she didn't know her brother and his wife. Didn't know them at all.
The yawning emptiness that had threatened her so fiercely this afternoon at the church now returned with a vengeance.
She'd thought she'd pushed it aside, buried it along with her grief, until she could take care of the meeting at family court. Then that meeting had gone haywire and here she was on an airplane with a thin gold band around the third finger of her left hand. The turmoil of the day had helped her to forget the hollowness inside her that should have been filled with warm, happy memories of growing up with Jeff, glittering reminiscences of her brother, his wife and his baby son. But she had none. There was nothing to fill the ugly void inside her. And the barren feeling grew.
Robin felt the overwhelming urge to flee. As she had this afternoon when she'd left the service to walk in the rain. And walk, and walk. Until she'd outdistanced the vacuity, at least for a while. But in the close confines of the airplane, there was no place for her to go.
Squeezing her eyelids shut, she felt hot tears slip silently down her face.
"Oh, Robin." Jonas's voice was a rich, rumbling baritone. "They didn't suffer. I know that's not much consolation. But it's what I've been trying my damnedest to focus on since…" He pressed his lips together, leaving the sentence unfinished.
When he slid his hand over hers, the warmth of his skin gave her more comfort than she'd ever dreamed was possible. His touch seemed to chase away the hated empty feeling in her chest.
Almost of their own volition, her fingers tightened their grip on his. She didn't want to, but she needed to use this man as a lanyard to tranquility until she could regain her composure.
She could never tell him all that she was feeling. She wasn't comfortable revealing to him the black, gaping hole that yawned inside her like some bottomless abyss. He would never understand. In fact, he'd most probably laugh or jeer at her vulnerability just as he'd done at little Tony's christening.
No, she couldn't let on how much she was hurting. But his presence alone helped her. The warm solidness of him somehow made her feel less susceptible to the threatening desolation.
With a gentleness that nearly took her breath away, Jonas smoothed his other hand along her forearm. Heat penetrated the thin cotton fabric of her sleeve and radiated in concentric waves up her arm.
The void diminished, smaller and smaller, until it was a dark pinpoint that she could easily push to the back of her brain. Jonas had rescued her from falling headlong into the terrible cavern of... of... she wasn't able to put a name to it. Didn't want to dwell on the horrible feeling long enough to do so. But Jonas had saved her from it. Without even knowing he'd done anything.
She sniffed, smoothed away the tear track that trailed down her cheek and gave him a small smile. "I'm glad to know that, Jonas. Thank you."
"And I've already contacted my lawyer about suing the owners of the cabin." His gaze turned suddenly ruthless. "When I finish with them, Tony will want for nothing."
"Except a mother and father." The bitter aside slipped from her lips before she could stop it.
His mouth thinned as he nodded ruefully. "You're right," he said. "But you and I are going to do what we can. We're going to give Tony everything we're able to give." Then he added, "For as long as we're able to give it."
~ ~ ~
Robin inhaled slowly, deeply, somewhere in that pleasant hazy state between deep sleep and alert wakefulness. The scent that enveloped her was warm and woodsy, as if she was walking through a forest in the heat of summer. But in her groggy state, she noticed something else about the bosky aroma. Something different. Something her sluggish rationale couldn't quite define.
Her subconscious made a valiant effort to snuggle back into the comfort and security of slumber, and it nearly succeeded. But there was something strange about her pillow, the semiconscious part of her argued. Something about it needed to be duly noted, recognized. For her own good.
An audible, sleepy sigh escaped her throa
t as she made a lethargic effort to discover what it was her brain was warning her against. Twisting her head the tiniest bit, she settled into a warm, unbelievably comfortable niche beneath her cheek. Granted, the pillow wasn't as soft as what she was used to, but the heat radiating from it more than made up for downy softness she was used to. And there was something about the warm nook that wasn't right. But the scent was wonderful. Descriptive words floated languidly through her mind; snug... secure... sybaritic... male... Male?
Robin dragged open her slumberous eyelids and leaned forward in an attempt to sit up, but a weight on her shoulder made it impossible.
She blinked, and very slowly, very carefully, she looked down. There snuggled firmly under her breast was a hand. Another was planted on the flat of her stomach. Hands that were not hers, her fuzzy brain reasoned. Male hands. What the…?
Her thinking was becoming clearer with each second that passed. Jonas's hands.
She was nestled in his arms like a wanton vixen. What in the world would he think?
She lay perfectly still, praying that he, too, had dropped off to sleep. Lifting her gaze so she could view his face, she saw that his eyes were closed, his breathing rhythmic and slow.
He was such a handsome man. Even with a day's growth of stubble darkening his jaw. Even with his coffee-colored hair untrimmed and hanging over the collar of his shirt.
His brows were as dark as the hair on his head and well formed over his eyes. His nose was straight. Not too big, nor too small, but just right for his face. His cheekbones were strong, angular, as was his jaw line. There were hollows in his cheeks such as those seen on models and health-food fanatics. But Robin was certain Jonas's hollows had nothing to do with eating veggies and lean meat, but the lack of eating altogether. She nearly chuckled with her next thought. Jonas needed taking care of just as much, if not more, than little Tony.
A warning bell went off in her head. Looking after Jonas was not part of her plan. And it certainly wasn't part of their deal. Learning to care for her nephew was her top priority. And that's all she wanted to focus on.
But waking up in his arms had been pure heaven!
The whispered opinion came from somewhere in the back of her brain. Well, she decided, that's where it will have to return. She couldn't afford to complicate an already difficult situation by becoming physically attracted to Jonas.
Noticing that her skirt had hitched up to show a healthy slice of her thigh, she stirred just enough so she could tug the fabric somewhat into place.
Jonas straightened in his seat, pulling his arms from around her. He stretched and covered his mouth as he yawned.
"I wonder what time it is?" he murmured, his voice gravelly with sleep. "I must have dozed off."
Robin said a quick, silent thank-you to her guardian angel. He hadn't noticed how she'd snuggled close to him. Hadn't seen her bare leg.
"Sorry I woke you," she said, meaning every word with every fiber of her being.
He rubbed his hands over his face and raked his fingers through his shaggy hair. "Oh, but I'm the one who's sorry."
His grin filled with the kind of mischief that naturally put a person on guard. Robin stopped smoothing the wrinkles out of her blouse and waited.
"I tried like hell to stay awake," he said. "I was really enjoying the way you were clinging to me. Like a flea on a dog's back."
She glared. How could she ever have worried about being physically attracted to this man? All he had to do was open his mouth and he instantly snuffed out any spark of temptation she might have felt for him.
Yes, she had awoken to find herself resting against him. Okay, she admitted, she'd been snuggled up to him pretty closely. Like a wanton vixen, as she remembered silently describing herself. But it was utterly rude of him to liken her to a flea. On a dog's back, no less! Well, he was a dog, all right. A low-down, dirty dog!
He should have been gentleman enough to not notice, or since he had, at least courteous enough not to mention the obvious.
But what else should she have expected from him? Nothing, she told herself. Absolutely nothing!
She was fuming as the pilot announced the landing at Baltimore Washington International Airport, fuming as she and Jonas grabbed their carry-on bags and departed the plane, fuming as they made their way out of the terminal building and to the auto park where Jonas had left his car. Jonas tried to talk to her, but she refused to explain her anger. Just because she'd married the man didn't mean she owed him any justification for what she did or how she felt. And she wasn't his mommy; teaching him good manners wasn't her job.
The ride from the airport was made in silence except for the soft music playing on the radio.
As he parked the car in the driveway of Amy's house, he said, "Look, Robin, we're both tired. And we're both overwhelmed by everything that's happened. And we don't want to upset Tony by letting him see us arguing the first time the three of us are all together."
"Who's arguing?" She opened the car door and stepped out onto the asphalt.
Jonas came around the car. "Let's talk about this. I know you're angry. But I haven't figured out why yet."
She stopped short and whirled on him. "And that only makes me angrier." She turned to stalk off, but he reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder.
"Wait a second," he said. "Just give me a minute, okay?"
Plunking her fist on her hip, she cocked her head and stared at him.
"You're mad because I looked at you while you were sleeping?"
The look on her face must have told him he'd hit the bull's-eye.
His mouth tilted in a smile. "Well, you are my wife."
Her gaze turned to a glower. "Your gawking isn't the only reason."
"What? What else did I do?"
The prudent thing to do was just let it go. She knew that.
She brushed his hand from her shoulder and stormed toward the house.
Jonas jogged to catch her, his light laughter making her shoulder muscles tense all the way up the back of her neck.
"Come on, Robin. I was only kidding."
"And that's what comes naturally to you, isn't it? To joke and laugh and ridicule."
"Please, just wait."
But she wouldn't be stopped.
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," he said, skipping along beside her. "I didn't think you'd be offended by my looking at you."
It wasn't the fact that he'd looked that angered her. No, in fact she was kind of... flattered by the idea.
The thought stopped her dead in her tracks and Jonas's momentum carried him several steps ahead. She was not flattered by Jonas ogling her in her sleep! Where had that notion come from? Without taking the time to answer the stupid question, or ponder the silly thought of flattery, Robin got back to the original argument. It wasn't the fact that he'd looked that angered her, it was the fact that he'd thrown it up in her face, joked about how she'd cuddled up to him. She'd been asleep, for heaven's sake. How could she have known she was using him as a human pillow?
However, what had hurt her the most was the fact that he'd compared her to an insect. An icky, bloodsucking bug! But she had no intention of telling him how she felt or what he'd done. No intention at all of discussing it further. To do so at this point would only turn her into more fodder for his black, vicious humor.
"Look," she told him, "let's just drop the whole issue. We need to collect Tony and get him home."
"So you're not angry with me anymore?"
"I said I'd drop it, didn't I?"
One dark brow rose as he teased pointedly, "You didn't answer my question."
She only glared.
"Okay, okay. Let's get the baby."
Although Amy's house was in full mid-morning chaos, she had Tony's things packed and ready for them. Sara's best friend hadn't been so sure that Jonas and Robin flying off to Nevada to get married was the best solution, but she wished them the best of luck and told them to call if they ran into any problems with their nep
hew.
Once they arrived at Jeff and Sara's home, Robin accepted Jonas's offer to take charge of Tony so she could get a nap. She knew he'd offered as a way to assuage the animosity she was feeling toward him, but she accepted nonetheless. After the past two days of seesawing emotions and flying back and forth across the country, she could use a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. In exchange, he'd asked if she would mind watching Tony during the evening hours so he could get some work done. She'd agreed, and after giving the baby a quick wave and a bye-bye waggle of her fingers, she'd trudged upstairs to the guest room.
Robin awoke to the sounds of the chirping birds nesting in the tree by her window and the smell of freshly brewed coffee. The clothes she'd slept in were beyond rumpled. Her brain felt so sluggish, it took her a moment to remember where she was and why. With a groan, she padded to the bathroom, stripped and took a quick shower.
A cup of hot coffee was the next order of business. She spied her unpacked suitcase still sitting at the foot of the bed. She slipped into a nightgown and her white knit robe, tying the sash as she went down the stairs toward the kitchen.
Jeff and Sara had chosen a beautiful house. Robin had stayed here for a few days when the baby had been christened. The traditional colonial design had spacious rooms, yet it also had some interesting nooks and crannies. Jonas had told her on the plane that, upon Jeff's death, the house had been paid for through an insured mortgage. So, she and Jonas had agreed that they should live in the house together so that Tony would have as normal surroundings as possible.
The eat-in kitchen was open and bright. The terracotta tiled floor felt cool under her bare feet. She opened the cabinet above the coffee maker and pulled out a sky blue mug. After filling it with hot, steaming coffee, Robin leaned against the counter and sipped. She cradled the warm ceramic between her palms and looked around the kitchen. Sara had done a wonderful job of making this room inviting. This was Sara's kitchen and she'd never spend another moment in it. She'd never again use the gleaming mixer, the huge microwave, the state-of-the-art coffee grinder...
Accidental Family Page 4
