by Chi Zijian
The doe was pale grey, not pure white. But it bore a small, snow-white male. It had a head but no tail and only three legs, and a skewed face with one big eye and one small. When the members of the urireng heard that Vladimir had delivered a crippled fawn on the riverbank, they all stopped dancing and ran off to see.
The sight sobered up all of the adults. The fawn couldn’t stand yet, and it lay curled up under its mother like a pile of melting snow.
‘Aiyo!’ exclaimed Maria upon seeing it. ‘When will Nihau return?’ Her voice was trembling. Although swaying from side to side, Maria was walking unaided when she arrived to view the fawn. But when she left, she had to lean on Dashi.
Valodya was concerned that the unfortunate fawn’s birth would dilute the festive atmosphere of Viktor’s wedding, so he told everyone a fairy tale. I didn’t know then he was making it up on the spot.
‘Long, long ago,’ Valodya began, ‘there was a lovely white swan that hatched a brood of little swans. All the little swans that broke through their egg shells were white, except for one that looked rather ugly, with short legs, a short neck too, and grey and black feathers all jumbled together.
‘The other swans ignored it. But the white mother swan didn’t look askance at her ugly offspring, and continued to carefully feed it. The little black swan grew day by day, and soon it could follow its mother to the river to catch fish. One day when the swan took her brood to play on the river, a strong wind began to blow and a fierce hawk swooped down and snapped the mother swan up in its beak.
‘The young swans scattered out of fear, and only the ugly black swan went to rescue its mother. But it was too feeble to be of use, and could only watch helplessly as the hawk carried its mother away.
‘When the wind calmed and the waves subsided, the little swans gathered once again to frolic. Only the ugly little swan was heartbroken, and it stood on the bank and made a mournful call.
‘Its cry attracted a hunter just then passing by. “Why are you weeping?”
‘“An old hawk snatched my mother, and now she’s on a cliff across the river. My wings aren’t strong enough to save her. I beg you, go and rescue my mother!”
‘“If you wish to save your mother, you might lose your own life in turn. Aren’t you afraid?”
‘“If only my mother can escape from the hawk’s beak, I’m willing to die in her place.”
‘The hunter forded the river and came to the foot of the mountain. He shot an arrow that struck the hawk so forcefully that the bird flipped backwards and hit the ground, and the mother swan was saved. But the ugliest of the little swans did indeed die on the opposite shore.
‘When the hunter recounted all this to the mother swan, she cried. “Save my ugly little black swan,” she begged the hunter.
‘“But if it comes back to life, you will lose all those little white swans in the river,” he cautioned. They were frolicking in the water, happy and carefree.
‘“If only you can revive my ugly little swan, I am willing to sacrifice my other offspring.”
‘The hunter smiled, said nothing, turned and left. Suddenly the river waters rose high, and those snow-white little swans were struck so hard by the surging waves that they cried out in terror.
‘Meanwhile the wings of the little black swan on the shore began to move, and it stood up slowly, alive again!
‘Amazingly, the ugly black swan was transformed into a beautiful snow-white, long-necked little swan! But the dead little white swans turned grey and black, like a patch of rubbish scattered on the river.’
This tale touched everyone present and did away with their worries. Tibgur was especially happy. ‘I’m sure that you’ll be transformed into a darling fawn tomorrow morning!’ he said to the misshapen young creature. ‘Your eyes will be brighter than the stars, and your missing leg will grow like a rainbow after the rain!’
We were comforted by Tibgur’s words, but then he said something that altered everyone’s expression. ‘If my Eni encounters danger, I’m willing to die for her just like that little black swan!’
The birth of the deformed fawn cast a dark shadow over the night of the marriage of Viktor and Lyusya. We knew it wouldn’t live more than three days, and yearned for Nihau’s return so that she could perform a Spirit Dance for it.
At midnight it rained again. It began with a drizzle but grew heavier. Rainfall on the day of a marriage is normally auspicious. So when I returned to our shirangju and heard the pattering rain, my heart that had been disturbed by the deformed fawn gradually calmed down.
Rain fell until dawn. Walking out of our shirangju I found myself in a fairyland. Mountains near and far were veiled in white mist, and the camp danced with twisting fog. The people standing across from me appeared indistinct, and I felt I had already left the ground and was wafting in the air.
Valodya rose earlier than I and went to the river. ‘The waters of the Jiin are rising. Some willows on the shore are already submerged, and there’s a thick fog floating over the river. If it rains another day, I’m afraid the water will overflow the banks,’ he warned. ‘There’s no guarantee we can remain at this camp, so we have to be ready to move upstream to higher ground at any time.’
I was worried for the deformed fawn. ‘Is it still alive?’
Valodya smiled and said it was not only alive but looked very energetic. It nursed on its mother’s teat and even staggered forwards a few steps at a time.
I was startled. ‘How can a three-legged fawn walk?’
‘If you don’t believe me, go see for yourself.’
When I arrived at the banks of the Jiin, the fog there was already thicker than over the mountains. You could hear the hwa-hwa sound of the river grumbling, but you couldn’t see the water itself. Vladimir fitted a halter on the mother doe, and the deformed fawn was indeed taking wobbly steps.
‘It seems enchanted with the fog over the water,’ said Vladimir, ‘and it keeps heading for the river. But it can’t go far. Each time it takes three or four baby steps, it falls down.’
‘Watch the fawn carefully. If it dies, carry it back to camp to await Nihau’s return. No matter what,’ I told Vladimir, ‘don’t let the ravens peck at it.’
The sun must be mist’s enemy. At noon, the sun finally ripped through the face of the dark clouds. When the sky cleared, our hearts cleared too. As long as it didn’t rain and cause the river to overflow, we could remain in the same camp. The moss in those mountains was copious, so the does who had just fawned needn’t roam far for food, and for those of us who had to constantly bring them back to nurse their fawns, this meant much less trekking along winding paths.
The children adored the deformed fawn. As soon as the mist dispersed they all went running to watch it by the Jiin. Tatiana helped Berna and Maikan make a garland of blue-green grass. They placed it around the fawn’s neck, and agreed that with the new garland, the fawn wasn’t ugly at all. And Tibgur lit a fire to chase away the deer flies and mosquitoes that harassed the young reindeer.
It was dusk and we were busy cooking dinner back at the camp when Tibgur and the deformed fawn got into trouble.
Crying as they ran back from the Jiin, Tatiana and Berna said Tibgur and the fawn had been swept away by the river and lost from sight. Viktor was already paddling a birch-bark canoe in pursuit.
It transpired that when the sun began leaning to the west, Maikan said she was hungry and so Vladimir had carried her back to the camp to rustle up some food. Before he left, he instructed Tatiana and the others that if the fawn was in difficulty, they should fetch him at once.
At first, Tatiana and Berna stayed near the fawn with Tibgur and played. But then they spotted Viktor holding a fish spear. They knew he was going to fish for Lyusya so they ran over to watch. When the river rises there are more fish than usual. Viktor chose a bend in the river with a backwash, and the fish behaved like panicking birds that had just been shut inside a cage. They swarmed, jumping up and down, making them easy prey.
Vikto
r stood on a big stone in the middle of the current. He tossed each fish he speared onto the bank where Tatiana and Berna strung them on a willow branch.
Some of the fish hadn’t been fatally speared, so after they were thrown ashore they shook their heads and wiggled their tails. A stream of giggles flowed from Tatiana and Berna as they strung the fish, because the more resilient ones brushed the girls’ faces with a layer of sticky white slime.
Spearing a fish is a task that requires a quick eye and a deft hand, and Viktor performed it effortlessly. He speared them so steadily and accurately that they piled up higher and higher on the bank, and Tatiana and Berna had their hands full.
‘There are so many fish that we should make a wreath for the fawn,’ said Tatiana to Berna, ‘and replace the grass one.’
‘Good idea,’ added Berna. ‘Maybe with a fish wreath the fawn’s face will right itself!’
And the girls giggled even more. But just then they heard Tibgur’s scream: ‘Come back! Come b-a-a-ck!’
Tibgur and the fawn were not too far downstream so Viktor, Tatiana and Berna could clearly see what was happening. The deformed fawn dashed along the bank, and in the blink of an eye, dived into the river. At that instant, the fawn seemed to transform into a big fish.
Shouting after the fawn, Tibgur raced right into the Jiin.
When they reached the centre of the river, the fawn and the boy encountered a whirlpool. They went round in circles, bobbing up and down until you couldn’t distinguish between human and animal.
‘Tian ah!’ screamed Viktor, as he jumped hurriedly on shore and threw his fish spear down.
By the time Viktor, Tatiana and Berna began running downstream, Tibgur and the fawn had already been swept away by the torrential current.
Viktor dragged a jawi from the willow grove next to the bank, jumped into it and dashed off to rescue Tibgur. Meanwhile, Tatiana and Berna raced back to the camp to break the news.
We all ran to the banks of the Jiin. The sun had already descended halfway, dyeing the surface of the water to the west so that the river looked like it was split in two, one side deep blue-green, one a milky yellow.
Many years later when I entered that shop in Jiliu County, I saw two bolts of cloth, one bright and one dark, standing upright on the merchant’s shelf. The Jiin River at dusk that day suddenly came to mind. Indeed, the river was just like two rolls of cloth lying next to one another, one bright, one dark. But the cloth was tightly rolled in the shop, while the cloth on the river was entirely spread out, extending to places we could not discern.
Valodya and Puffball carried another canoe to the river and went in search of Tibgur.
We waited anxiously on the riverbank, and no one made a sound except for Berna. ‘That fawn must have grown another leg, we all saw it. It was running faster than Tibgur,’ she said repeatedly to Tatiana. ‘Now you tell me, if it didn’t have four legs, it couldn’t run so fast, could it?’ She shivered as she said this, and we shuddered too.
The sun set for good, taking with it the beautiful interplay of light and shadow on the river surface. The Jiin now consisted of a single colour, but due to changes in the sky, its gold tint appeared greyish and faded. The rushing waters sounded hwa-hwa, as if someone were piercing our hearts with a knife, and each incision hurt acutely.
The stars appeared and so did the moon but those searching for Tibgur hadn’t returned. Luni and Nihau, back at last from the Clan Chieftain’s funeral, now stood silently behind us. ‘There’s no point in waiting,’ Nihau said when her eyes met ours. ‘My Tibgur has already departed.’
Just then the shadows of a pair of birch-bark canoes appeared, like two large fish swimming towards us. The boats contained four persons, three standing, and one lying down. The prone one would remain so for ever, and that was Tibgur.
Although Tibgur had been thoroughly scoured by the river, Nihau insisted on using water from the Jiin to cleanse his body, and then she changed his clothes. Valodya and I placed him in a white cloth bag and threw him on the south-east slopes of Listvyanka Mountain. This mountain was designated to commemorate the marriage of Viktor and Lyusya, but in my heart it is a cemetery.
Nihau said Tibgur died in order to save her. When she and Luni were riding their reindeer on the way back, keen to see their children as soon as possible, they took a shortcut along the hard-to-negotiate Baishilazi Trail, with its cramped, winding path. One side sticks closely to towering white cliffs, and the other opens onto a deep, deep ravine. Generally speaking, unless we had a particularly pressing reason, we never took that path. Even reindeer’s legs tremble when they walk that narrow path.
Due to two recent heavy rainfalls, the surface was extremely slippery, so they reduced their speed and walked gingerly. But the path was simply too narrow and the rain had seeped into the soil, loosening the edges of the path.
At a bend, Nihau’s reindeer stepped at the very edge of the path, inclined for an instant and then tumbled down with Nihau into the bottomless ravine.
Luni saw Nihau and her mount disappear in the blink of an eye, and his heart froze. There could be no happy ending for anyone that fell into a deep gulch like that.
But a miracle happened. The reindeer fell to its doom at the valley bottom, while Nihau found herself hanging from a black birch tree located just off the path. Luni lowered a rope and hauled Nihau back up.
As soon as Nihau arrived back on the path, she began crying. ‘Tibgur must have had an accident,’ she said. ‘When that black birch blocked my fall, I saw the tree extend a pair of hands, and those hands were Tibgur’s.’
Tibgur means black birch.
It was dusk when Nihau had her accident, and that was the same instant Tibgur was swept away by the river. Luni said he examined that birch again and again. It was strong and sturdy like Tibgur. But he couldn’t find the pair of hands Nihau saw as she tumbled off the pathway. How sorely Luni wanted to grasp his son’s warm little hands once more!
That deformed fawn did bring us bad luck after all.
On that night of extreme sorrow when everyone was mourning and had no appetite for food or drink, Yveline lit an open fire, roasted the wild duck Kunde shot earlier in the day, and ate and drank baijiu. The fragrance of that meat pierced our grieving hearts like a bullet.
She drank until the moon leaned to the west, and only then did she stand up on her quivering legs. As she walked towards her shirangju, she heard Nihau crying. Yveline stopped, looked up at the sky, cackled, clapped her hands and danced in celebration.
‘Jindele, listen up! Who’s that weeping? The maiden you wanted and the one you didn’t want: is either living happily? I’ve never heard a lovelier sound than that weeping, Jindele!’
At that moment, Yveline was a true demon. The happiness that she expressed at the tragedy of those two women made your heart freeze over.
I was sitting with Maria’s family around their fireplace. Yveline’s cry of pleasure at another’s misfortune so enraged Maria that she began to cough violently. Zefirina pounded Maria’s back lightly with her fists.
Once her cough subsided, Maria grasped Zefirina’s hands firmly. ‘You must have a child for me,’ she said, still panting. ‘A good, healthy child! Dashi and you should get along well, and show Yveline how happy you are!’
I’d never have imagined that Yveline’s increasingly intense hatred would cause Maria to forgive Zefirina. Dashi and Zefirina each held one of Maria’s hands, and they were so moved that they cried.
I left Maria’s and on the way back to our shirangju, I heard Nihau incant a Spirit Song:
O, earthly white cloth bag
Why not store grain and jerky
Instead of felling my Black Birch
and crumpling my Little Lily
To hoard in your filthy gut?
We quickly left Listvyanka Mountain and Jiin River. But this time we didn’t all go in one direction. We split into two, with Valodya leading one group, and Luni the other. Yveline’s crazed cry that night had st
ung everyone’s heart, and Luni said it was absolutely necessary to separate Yveline from Maria. Luni’s group took Maria and her family, some of Valodya’s clansmen, and my son Andaur. I wasn’t keen to see him leave me, but it seemed he preferred Luni. Whatever children like, I respect their wishes.
Berna was the most reluctant to go with Luni for she couldn’t stand to be apart from Tatiana and Maikan. When we left, Berna started to cry. ‘Even though you’ll be separated,’ I said, ‘they’ll be close by, and you’ll often have the chance to visit Tatiana.’ Berna stopped crying.
Seeing Luni taking some members of the urireng, Maria’s family among them, and the herd in another direction, Yveline resembled a warmonger about to be deprived of a foe. Her violent temper flared. She accused Luni of dividing the people and wronging his clan. Many years ago she had used the same tone to curse Lajide.
Luni paid her no heed. Then Yveline turned and pointed at Berna. ‘If you go with them, do you think things will end well for you? As soon as Nihau does a Spirit Dance, you’re dead!’
Berna had stopped crying earlier, but Yveline’s terrible words unleashed her tears again. Nihau sighed and pulled Berna close. Even though the sun was shining bright on them, their faces seemed terribly pale.
Kunde had long since ceased speaking to Yveline, but at that instant he suddenly grabbed his hunting knife and waved it at her. ‘Say one more word and I swear I’ll cut off your tongue and feed it to the ravens!’
Yveline tilted her head to one side, gazed at Kunde, laughed darkly, and shut her mouth.
***
The following spring Ivan returned. We hadn’t seen him for several years, and he was much thinner and had aged considerably.
‘Aiyo!’ exclaimed Yveline. ‘Can’t get by on those soldier’s rations, so you’ve come back to the mountains?’
