by Kat Mizera
“Right.”
“Lots of time for phone sex.” She giggled against his chest.
“Yup.” He stroked her hair, running his fingers through the silky locks. Her hair was so soft, thick and red with streaks of blonde that he’d discovered were natural. She didn’t color it or put highlights in it, and he loved both the color and how it felt between his fingers.
His phone rang and he frowned. It was after eight, and he had to be up early for tomorrow’s flight, so he was surprised to see Coach Caldwell’s name on his screen. Oh, hell, this couldn’t be good.
He glanced at Tara. “It’s Coach—I have to take this.” He accepted the call. “Hey, Coach.”
“Hey, Donovan.” Her voice was quiet, subdued.
“What’s up?”
“I don’t know if this is good news or bad news for you, but you’ve been traded to Buffalo.”
32
Everything happened so quickly, Tara felt like she had whiplash. One minute she and Donovan were having a romantic evening by the fire, the next he was up and pacing as he spoke to Coach Caldwell. He’d finally disconnected, and his back was turned to her as he said, “I have to pack. I’ve been traded to Buffalo.” Then he’d gone up the stairs without a backward glance.
What the hell had just happened?
It took Tara a few seconds to gather her thoughts and process the information.
He’d been traded.
To Buffalo.
Where his ex-wife was.
And he’d just turned his back on her.
She got up and hurried up the stairs. He was in the walk-in closet with the suitcase he’d already packed for his trip open, and another open beside it. He was grabbing T-shirts, sweats, jeans, and boxers, haphazardly throwing them in the suitcases. She watched him for a few minutes and finally spoke his name.
“Donovan? Why aren’t you talking to me?”
“Sorry.” He still didn’t turn around. “I’m a little frazzled. I have to report to Buffalo tomorrow morning. They have me on a nine o’clock flight.”
“Okay. I understand that. But you haven’t looked at me since you got the phone call. Are you mad at me?”
“No.” He paused for a second, and finally glanced back at her. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting this. Not now anyway.”
“I wasn’t, either. I guess I thought…” She wasn’t sure what she’d thought. Mostly, she’d thought he was happy. She’d thought they were happy here in Alaska.
“I know. I tried to get traded all of last season and over the summer, and then forgot about it. It caught me off guard, too.” He paused, finally lifting his eyes to hers. “But you don’t have to worry. Lots of players don’t move their families right away after a trade, so if immigration shows up or something, we’re covered.”
“I didn’t even think about immigration,” she admitted.
“You can stay here at the house—I’ll pay the mortgage and utilities—and I’ll find an apartment in Buffalo. You’ve got your great new job, and your brother, so there’s no need to uproot your life again. The timing kind of sucks, but it was inevitable, right?”
“I…” She wasn’t sure what to say.
“I guess this is it for us.” He looked away, staring into his suitcases. “But you’ll have plenty of time to figure out what you’re going to do going forward, so don’t worry about money or anything.”
She stared at him blankly. What was he talking about? She was his wife.
Money wasn’t even on her radar. She didn’t care about money. Didn’t he know that about her by now? They were friends. They’d shared so much in a relatively short amount of time and he thought she cared about money? It wasn’t love—she’d known that—but it was friendship and sex and at least affection. Right? How was this it without talking it out?
“You don’t, er, want to…talk about…anything?” She was so hurt that he was blowing her off without so much as a conversation, it was hard not to cry. And she really didn’t want to cry in front of him.
“Tara, I have so many things to take care of, I really need to focus on the move. I’m sorry. In a few days, once I’m settled in Buffalo, we can have a conversation, okay? But right now, I’m…” He paused, running his hand through his hair, something he only did when he was frustrated. “I guess I’m frazzled. This is my first mid-season trade and it’s kind of crazy.”
“I…” She still didn’t know what to say so she turned to a safer subject. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I’m not sure. I need to make sure I have the majority of the clothes I’ll need until I can ship the rest of my stuff.”
She mindlessly helped him gather his things and then began rearranging his suitcases to fit more items in them. It gave her hands something to do because it was awkward as hell between them. She tried to start a conversation half a dozen times but stopped herself each time because it seemed like she had her answer about whether or not he had feelings for her. He liked her, and certainly enjoyed having sex with her, but everything else had been her imagination. Either that, or wishful thinking.
Why else would he be moving without at least a discussion about her going with him? If anything, they could continue with the status quo of enjoying each other’s company and the sex. They’d agreed they were going to see what happened with their relationship, and half an hour ago they’d been cuddling on the couch like a real couple.
“What time are you leaving?” she asked at last.
“My flight’s at nine, so I have to leave here by six thirty.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sorry it turned out this way, Tara. Really.”
He said the words, but she didn’t believe him because when their eyes met, all she saw in his was…nothing. Absolutely nothing lurked in those normally expressive hazel eyes. She’d seen his soul in them when they’d made love the other night, but right now they were as vacant as an abandoned building.
When Tara had walked into her apartment and found Saku in bed with Jaana, she’d been angry and humiliated, but she’d never shed a tear. Not for Saku, not for the seven years she’d wasted with him, not a drop. But the pain that shot through her when Donovan walked out the door to move to Buffalo surprised her. She’d had a few broken hearts in high school and one just before meeting Saku, but none of those were like this. It was like a piece of her left with Donovan and every breath she took was laced in heartache.
The pain was tangible; her chest actually hurt as she sobbed. And she truly had no one to turn to. Charli was at work, her brother was on a plane to Chicago, and the friends she’d made were all working or busy with other things. Not that they wouldn’t drop everything if she reached out, just like her mother would, but there was nothing any of them could do.
She cried herself to sleep and allowed herself one day to feel sorry for herself but by the following day was ready to go to work. Coach Azure had asked her to come in early to go over some things, so she took a long shower to help her relax and then laid on the bed with ice packs over her face to help with the swelling of her eyes from crying most of the night. When she was finally as calm as she could be given the circumstances, she got up and started doing her makeup.
She was going to have to move back to Gage’s house. Her job wouldn’t take a lot of time, so she could watch Matthew in exchange for living there because there was no way she could stay here at Donovan’s place. Every room, every piece of furniture, the bathtub—everything reminded her of him. Of them. Of what they’d shared. Being here without him would be impossible.
She’d have to give back the car, too. As much as she loved it, and even though she knew he’d never ask, it felt weird to drive it, knowing that he’d walked away from their marriage like it meant less than nothing to him.
Thinking about how he’d left made her hurt all over again, and tears filled her eyes. Nothing had ever hurt like this, but she had a job to do and things to keep her busy. Maybe after work tonight she’d go see Charli and vent. Then sh
e was done. Donovan wasn’t crying over her, so why would she cry over him? She had a great job, friends, her brother and sister-in-law, and a really good life. She’d focus on her new career and not worry about her broken heart.
She made the quiet promise to herself even as her heart squeezed painfully.
It was probably a lot easier said than done.
33
Donovan had spent a lot of time in Buffalo because of Jane’s family, so he knew his way around. He rented a car at the airport and drove on autopilot to the temporary apartment the team had secured for him. It was already after eight o’clock here in New York, so it was too late to meet up with the team or anything. He’d be reporting for practice first thing in the morning, though, so he had no time to do anything but stop at the store for a few grocery essentials, unpack, and go to bed. He hadn’t slept at all last night and acting nonchalant as he’d left Tara this morning had been one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do.
He’d handled the whole thing terribly, but what choice did he have? She’d literally just gotten the job of her dreams, she had family in Anchorage, she’d made friends she cared about, and she’d told him repeatedly how much she loved her life there. How could he ask her to leave and start over? He’d done that with Jane and it had ended badly, so he couldn’t risk it happening again. He loved Tara enough to want her to be happy, so he wouldn’t force her to choose. No matter how much it hurt.
The irony of the whole thing didn’t escape him. Jane hadn’t wanted anything to do with Alaska, and Tara loved everything about it. Now he was in the city the woman he didn’t love had always wanted him to be in, while the woman he did love was still in Alaska. How the fuck had he gotten himself into this?
The rational, mature thing to do would be to talk to Tara and find out how she felt, but he couldn’t. He’d begged Jane to come to Alaska, promising her he would get traded in a couple of years and wouldn’t accept any trades more than a short flight away from her family. She’d absolutely refused and had broken his heart in the process. If he was going to get married again—beyond a marriage of convenience—he had to know she was all in, no matter where they lived. He’d survived the breakup with Jane because, when it was all said and done, he realized he hadn’t really loved her. Tara, on the other hand, had become his everything. Leaving her like this hurt, but at least he knew he was doing what was best for her, instead of for himself. He had no doubt he could guilt her into coming to Buffalo, but that wasn’t what he wanted.
His phone rang, and he cringed when he saw Jane’s name. She hadn’t called him in months, but she’d undoubtedly heard he was in town. And since no one knew he was married, she probably figured he’d be down for a booty call.
Dammit.
He sent the call to voicemail and headed to the nearest grocery store to pick up a few things. He’d just gotten inside when his phone rang again, and he sighed wearily as he pulled it out of his pocket.
Miikka.
Shit.
“Hey, man.” He figured not answering would make him look like an even bigger jerk.
“You didn’t even say good-bye!” Miikka’s voice was accusatory.
“I found out late last night and you guys left early this morning. Sorry, man.”
“And Tara?”
Donovan cleared his throat. “What, uh, what about her?”
“She’s with you?”
“Uh, no. She’s staying in Anchorage.”
“She’s staying…” His voice trailed off and he muttered something in Finnish. “Why?”
“Why is she staying in Anchorage? Well, she just got her green card, so she started working at the college and, you know, Charli’s pregnant and she wants to be around for the baby. And—”
“She can come to visit when the baby comes,” Miikka interrupted. “What is happening here? Why are you…kusipaa!” Peehead.
“I’m trying to do what’s best for everyone,” Donovan protested. “I already know what happens when you force someone to do something they don’t want to do. And I care for her too much to do that. Miikka, look, I literally just got to Buffalo, and I have to get some rest. Keep in touch, okay? But I gotta go.” He disconnected and breathed in deeply.
It was done. He’d been traded and was living in Buffalo.
He hadn’t even told his parents yet, which meant they were going to hear about it on the news.
Shit.
His mother was going to be pissed.
He’d just gotten to his new apartment when his phone rang again. He put down two bags of groceries and yanked it out of his pocket.
Peyton.
Yeah, that was a big nope for tonight. He didn’t have it in him to get yelled at by anyone, least of all his judgmental sister.
He put the phone on the counter and went back downstairs to get his luggage.
When he got back, there were two missed calls from Peyton and some texts. He would have ignored them had another one not popped up that he could read.
PEYTON: Where are you? I’m in trouble. Please pick up.
Donovan snatched up the phone and called her back, his heart racing. If Troy had hurt her, he was going to be on the next plane to Chicago.
“Donovan.” Peyton sounded like she was crying, and he couldn’t help the growl that escaped his chest.
“Did he hurt you?”
“Please,” she sniffled. “I just need somewhere to stay tonight. He kicked me out and I don’t have anywhere to go, and my credit cards are maxed out…”
“He kicked you out?” Donovan asked in disbelief. “You pay the fucking rent!”
“Can you get me a hotel room, please? I’m sorry, I know the timing sucks, but I just can’t call Mom and Dad right now… All I have is my purse!” She burst into tears all over again.
“Okay, tell me where you are.” He grabbed a pen that was miraculously on the counter and wrote down what he needed to know. “Are you safe? Like where you are right now?”
“I’m at a diner, yes. I’m safe. He was an asshole, but he didn’t touch me.”
“Give me five minutes to figure something out.”
He disconnected and stared at the phone, unsure what to do from Buffalo.
Family.
When you were in trouble you reached out to family. Not just your biological family, but the family you chose. Like your wife. Her brother. Your teammates.
And the Blizzard had just gotten to Chicago.
He called someone he knew he could trust, no matter what. Not just because they were teammates, but because they were also brothers.
“You missed me already?” Miikka joked as he picked up the phone.
“Hey, I need a favor.” His voice must have given away the gravity of the situation because Miikka’s lighthearted tone disappeared.
“What’s happened? Is it Tara?”
“No. My sister.”
“Peyton?”
“Yeah.” He told him what he knew. “From what it sounded like, she couldn’t even take her things with her. I need you and a couple of the guys to meet her where she is and then go back to her place with her to get her stuff. I know it’s a big ask but—”
“Not a big ask. If it was my sister… Anyway, give me the address. We go now. Logan!” Miikka whistled in Donovan’s ear. “Come here!”
There was rustling, and then Logan’s voice on the phone. “Miikka said you need to give me an address? What’s going on?”
By the time he’d given them the information they needed, Ryder and Sergei were involved, too. Sergei was one of the bigger guys on the team and a badass both on and off the ice, so he was probably going to make sure the younger guys didn’t wind up in jail. Not to mention the intimidation factor provided by his sheer bulk.
Sinking into a chair, Donovan stared up at the ceiling. What had he done? He was on the other side of the country, far away from his friends, teammates, and fuck, the woman he was in love with. And now his sister was in trouble. He would have been one of the guys on the way
to take care of her tonight if he hadn’t been so obsessed with becoming a starting goalie. The trade might or might not have happened if he hadn’t gotten his agent to actively find another team who wanted him. And he’d found one at the worst possible time.
Shit.
He got up and put away his groceries, unpacked the bulk of his suitcases, and took a quick shower. He was just about to call Miikka back when Peyton’s name flashed on the screen of his phone.
“What happened?” he demanded.
She chuckled. “You sent the cavalry.”
“Duh. You’re my kid sister.”
“I packed up my clothes and computer and the guys got me a room for a few nights here at the same hotel as the team. Everything’s okay.”
“You want to tell me what happened?”
“I just…” She sighed. “I guess I was blind to the growing verbal abuse and the way he treated me. I was so caught up in becoming an attorney’s wife, the life we were going to lead here in Chicago, I kind of missed what a dick he was becoming. I’m sorry, Donovan.”
“Sorry? You don’t have to apologize. We’ve all fallen in love with the wrong person. Trust me, I know that firsthand.”
“I’m guessing you mean Jane.” She paused. “What did Tara say about the trade? Is she going with you?”
“Listen, we’ll talk in a couple of days, promise, but I just got to my new apartment, I have to report to practice at nine o’clock, and I just spent the last hour dealing with your issue. Can we hold off on the serious stuff until I’m settled?”
“Absolutely. I’m sorry. And, Donovan, thank you. I mean it—your friends are the best. Miikka called me his sister when Troy tried to kick them out. I think you picked a good one with Tara, and I’m sorry I sided with Jane in the divorce.”
“It’s okay. And I’m glad my buddies took care of you.”
“I love you, Donovan.”
