Coyote Blue

Home > Literature > Coyote Blue > Page 14
Coyote Blue Page 14

by Christopher Moore

Chapter 27

   

  CHAPTER 27

  Food, Gas, Enlightenment, Next Right

  King's Lake, Nevada

  The exit sign said, King's Lake, but when they pulled off and followed the ramp around the base of a mesa, there was no lake, no life at all, just a dirt road and a strip of gray wooden buildings with faded facades. A weathered wooden sign read, Emergency, Nevada. The population had been crossed out and repainted a dozen times until, finally, someone had painted a big zero at the bottom and the words We gived up. Coyote stopped the car.

  "What do you want to do here?"

  "I don't know, but we had to get off the highway before they caught up with us. " Sam got out of the car and peered down the empty dirt street, shielding his eyes against the sun with his hand. A prairie dog scampered across the road and under the wooden sidewalk. "This road continues out of town. Maybe it joins up with another major road somewhere else. We need a map. "

  "No map in the car," Coyote said. "We can ask someone. "

  Sam looked around at the empty buildings. "Right, let's just stop in at the chamber of commerce and ask someone that's been dead for a hundred years. "

  "Can we do that?" Coyote asked, with complete sincerity.

  "No, we can't do that! It's a ghost town. There's no one here. "

  "I was going to ask that prairie dog. " Coyote walked to where the prairie dog had disappeared under the walkway. "Hey, little one, come out. "

  Sam stood behind the trickster, shaking his head. He heard a squeak from under the walk.

  Coyote looked to Sam. "He doesn't trust you. He won't come out unless you go away. "

  "Tell him we're in a hurry. " Sam couldn't believe he was being snubbed by a rodent.

  "He knows that, but he says you have shifty eyes. Go over there and wait. " Coyote pointed down the sidewalk.

  Sam walked past a hitching post and sat on a bench in front of the abandoned saloon. He watched the road leading to the highway, waiting for the dust cloud from pursuing police cars. The road remained empty. He watched the prairie dog scamper out from under the sidewalk and stand on his hind legs as Coyote talked to him. Maybe he had been a little hasty in thinking Calliope nuts for talking to her kitchen pals. They probably thought he had shifty eyes as well.

  After a few moments of talking and chattering Coyote threw his head back and laughed, then left the prairie dog in the street and came to where Sam was sitting.

  "You've got to hear this one," Coyote said. "This farmer has a pig with a wooden leg-"

  "Hey," Sam interrupted. "Does he know where the road goes?"

  "Oh, yeah. But this is a really good joke. You see-"

  "Coyote!" Sam shouted.

  Coyote looked hurt. "You're nasty. No wonder he doesn't trust you. He says that he saw an orange sports car go by a while ago. He says that there's a repair place down the road. "

  "Tell him thanks," Sam said. Coyote headed back toward the prairie dog. Sam dug into his windbreaker for his cigarettes and found a chocolate mint he had taken from the hotel room pillow the night before. "Wait," Sam called. He ran to Coyote's side. The prairie dog bolted under the sidewalk. "Let me talk to him. "

  Sam bent down and placed the mint in the dirt by the sidewalk. "Look, we really appreciate your help. "

  The prairie dog didn't answer. "I'm not a bad guy once you get to know me," Sam said. He waited, wondering what exactly he was waiting for. After a minute he started feeling really stupid. "Okay then, have a nice day. "

  He went back to where Coyote stood looking at a sign on the saloon door. No Indians or Dogs Allowed.

  Coyote said, "What do they have against dogs?"

  "What about the Indians part?"

  Coyote shrugged.

  "It pisses me off. " Sam yanked the sign off the door and threw it into the street.

  "Good, you're still alive. Let's go. " Coyote turned and headed for the car.

  "I'll drive," Sam said.

  Coyote threw the keys over his shoulder. Sam snatched them out of the air. As they pulled away the prairie dog dashed into the street and grabbed the mint thinking, That pig joke works every time.

  -=*=-

  They drove for twenty minutes, bouncing the big Lincoln over ruts and rocks, and pushing it through washed-out, wind-eroded terrain where the road was reduced to the mere suggestion of tire tracks. The cellular phone rang twice more, but they did not answer it. Sam was suspecting that, once again, Coyote was playing some sort of trick when he spotted the corrugated steel building sticking up out of the desert. The building consisted of one story, roughly the size of a two-car garage. The steel walls were striped with rust and pulling away from the frame in places. The area around the building was littered with abandoned vehicles, some dating back fifty years. Above the doorway, a ragged hole that had been cut with a torch, hung an elegantly hand-lettered sign that read, Satori Japanese Auto Repair. In the doorway stood a slightly built Oriental man in saffron robes, grinning as they pulled up. Calliope's Z was parked in front.

  Sam stopped the car and got out. The Oriental man folded his hands and bowed. Sam nodded in return and approached the man. "Do you know where the girl is that was driving that car?"

  "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" the monk said.

  Sam said, "Excuse me?"

  The monk ran to Sam and jumped up, screaming in Sam's face, "Don't think. Act!"

  Thinking he was being attacked, Sam raised his arms to cover his face and inadvertently hit the monk in the mouth with his elbow, knocking the little man to the ground.

  The monk looked up at Sam and smiled. "That was the right answer. " His teeth were red with blood.

  "I'm sorry," Sam said, offering his hand to help the monk up. "I didn't know what you were doing. "

  The monk waved Sam away, climbed to his feet, and began to dust himself off. "The first step to knowledge is not knowing. The girl is inside with the Master. "

  "Thanks," Sam said. He motioned for Coyote to follow and went into the building. It was one room, dimly lit from the doorway and by sunlight filtering through the gaps in the walls. Around the edges, workbenches were stacked with greasy car parts and tools. In the center of the room, on a grass mat, Calliope sat with another monk, this one ancient, drinking tea from tiny cups. She looked up and saw Sam, then without a word ran into his arms.

  "I lost him, Sam. The car started making this horrible noise and I had to pull off the highway. Lonnie took Grubb and he's gone. "

  Sam held her and patted her head, telling her it would be okay, not really believing it, but knowing that was what you were supposed to say. She was soft and warm against him and a musky smell of girl sweat and jasmine was coming off her hair. He felt himself getting aroused and hated himself for the inappropriateness of the feeling, thinking, You sick bastard.

  Almost as in answer, Calliope said, "You feel too good," and buried her face in his chest. She was crying.

  Behind them, still standing in the doorway, Coyote said, "Let's go. "

  Calliope looked around at him, then to Sam. Sam said, "A friend. Calliope, this is Coyote. Coyote, Calliope. "

  "Howdy," Coyote said. Calliope smiled.

  "The Master will now fix the car," the younger monk said. Sam looked to the tatami mat; the old monk was gone. The young monk turned and went out into the sun.

  Outside, the Z's hood was open and the old monk was bent over the engine, running his hands over the hoses and wires, but staring off into the distance. Sam realized that he was blind, and noticed that there were fingers missing from each of his hands.

  "What's he doing?" Coyote asked.

  "Quiet," the young monk said. "He is finding the problem. "

  "We really have to get going," Sam said. "Can we leave the car here and pick it up later?"

 
The monk said, "Does a dog have a Buddha nature?"

  "Does a fish have a watertight asshole?" said Coyote.

  The young monk turned to the trickster and bowed. "You are wise," he said.

  "This is nuts," Sam said. "We've got another car. Let's go. "

  "We've lost them," Calliope said.

  "No, we haven't. We know where they're going, Cal. "

  "How do you know?"

  "It's a long story. Coyote helped. "

  "Not enough," Coyote said. He pointed to the police cruiser that was bouncing across the desert toward them. Sam looked to the limo and realized that they had run out of time, and, more important, places to run. The cruiser slid to a stop by the limo and they were all engulfed by a cloud of dust. When it cleared, a seven-foot black man stood beside the limo. A bald man in a sport coat was leveling a riot shotgun over the hood at them.

  "I'd like the keys to the limousine, please," Minty said.

  Calliope looked at Sam. "Are we in trouble?"

  "This is not good," Sam said.

  The monk said, "Life is suffering. "

  "You need to get laid," Coyote said.

  Sam dug into his pocket for the keys. "Careful," said the man with the gun.

  Minty Fresh approached Sam. "Relax, Jake," he said. Then to Sam, "Mr. Hunter, the police are not really involved in this. I just want two things. I want the keys to the car, and I want to know what the hell is going on here. "

  "Quiet!" the monk said. "The Master is finished. " They looked to the Z, where the old monk was staring blankly in their direction.

  "Disharmony in the cam chakra," he announced. The young monk bowed. Sam wondered about the Master's missing fingers.

  "Well?" Minty said.

  Sam said, "Do you have a little time?"

  -=*=-

  Minty Fresh sat on the tatami mat with Sam while the young monk, who they had found out was named Steve, served them tea. He'd sent Jake back to town and the others were outside fiddling with the broken sports car. Minty wanted some answers.

  "Mr. Hunter," he began. "There is something very strange about your friend. "

  "Really? He seems fine to me. Tell me, though. Do you think I have shifty eyes?" Sam affected his best innocent look.

  Oh, no, two of them, Minty thought. "They look normal to me. " They didn't look normal at all  -  they were golden. Minty hadn't noticed before.

  Sam said, "I mean, do I look untrustworthy to you?"

  "Mr. Hunter, you stole my employer's car. "

  "I'm really sorry about that. Besides that, though. Do I look shifty?"

  Minty sighed. "No, not particularly. "

  "How about if you were shorter, say, eight inches tall. "

  "Mr. Hunter, what is this all about?"

  "We really needed the car. It doesn't justify taking it, but we would have brought it back. "

  "Look, I'm not going to involve the police in this. Just tell me. "

  Sam took Minty through the story of Lonnie taking Grubb and the chase, leaving out as many details about Coyote as he could, making their destination in South Dakota seem close, easy. The story was slanted, however; Sam told it with a purpose in mind, thinking as he spoke, You can't sell if you don't pitch.

  Sam closed, "If we don't have the limo we won't be able to find Lonnie and get Calliope's baby back. You have a mother, don't you?" Sam waited.

  "I'm sorry, Mr. Hunter, I can't let you have it. It's not mine. I'd lose my job. "

  "We'll bring it back after we get Grubb. "

  "I'm sorry," Minty said. He climbed to his feet and walked to the door, then turned. "I'm really sorry. " He pushed his sunglasses up on his face and ducked through the hole in the steel. Sam followed him out.

  "Mr. F. ," Sam called.

  Minty looked up as he reached the car. "Yes?"

  "Thanks for not going to the cops. I understand your position. "

  Minty nodded and got in the Lincoln.

  Calliope came up beside Sam and stood with him watching Minty drive away. She said, "Grubb is all I have. "

  Sam reached out and took her hand, not knowing what to say, having failed at the only thing he was really good at, talking people into doing things they didn't want to do.

  The young monk came out of the door behind them. "The Master is fixing your car," he said. He was stirring some green tea into an earthenware bowl with a bamboo whisk. "More tea?"

  -=*=-

  They stood together in the sun, watching the old man work. He fingered each bolt carefully before fitting a wrench to it, then removed the bolt so quickly that his hands blurred with the movement.

  Sam said, "How long. . . "

  "Don't talk to him when he works," Steve cautioned. "He will finish when he finishes. But don't talk to him. When you work, work. When you talk, talk. "

  "Do you get many customers? I mean, you are pretty far out here. "

  "Three," Steve said. He was wearing a straw hat to protect his shaved head.

  "Three today?"

  "No, just three. "

  "Then what do you do in the meantime?"

  "We wait. "

  "That's all?"

  Steve said, "Is that all the patriarch Daruma did at the wall for nine years?" There was no anger in his voice. "We wait. "

  "But how do you pay your rent, buy food?"

  "There is no rent. The owner of King's Lake, Augustus Brine, brings us food. He is a fisherman. "

  "King's Lake is up the road, right? What is it, a resort?"

  "A house of pleasure. "

  "A whorehouse that supports Buddhist monks?"

  "How sweet," Calliope said.

  "He's got it," Coyote said, pointing to the Master, who was holding up a rod of polished metal.

  "A bent push rod," Steve said. The master carried the push rod into the shop. They all followed and watched as the old man tightened the rod into a vise. He picked up a hammer and stood over the vise, his free hand feeling the rod. Without warning the old man screamed and delivered a clanging blow to the push rod, then bowed and set the hammer on the bench.

  "Fixed," Steve said, bowing.

  "Is that how he lost his fingers?"

  "To achieve enlightenment, one must give up the things of this world. "

  "Like piano lessons," Coyote said.

 

‹ Prev