I looked at my watch and notice it was already eleven. I was starting to feel the wine. I started to think about tomorrow. It was going to suck, there are only two things that could happen. One, I was right, and we’d find a body, which would be horrible. And, two, we wouldn't find a body, and I’d look stupid. I was being haunted and had no idea why or what to do about it. Both outcomes sounded really bad to me.
“Hey,” Derek said gently, as he set his glass down on the coffee table, “where did you go there? What's on you mind, sweetheart?”
Sweetheart? He's so sweet but was that professional? Did I want him to be professional or did I want him to be sweet? I didn't know. I was so confused I didn't know what I was suppose to feel about anything. My heart and head never agreed anymore. My head told me he was a cop and here on business, but my heart was hurt and lonely and wanted a big, strong, handsome man to hold me and call me sweetheart. Ugh! I was such a case.
“I don't know,” I whined. “I guess I'm just worried about tomorrow. It's going to be bad if we find a body, and it's going to be bad if we don't. I'm not sure which I want to happen. I wish I could just back up and start over, or wake up from this awful nightmare,” I said starting to tear up. I couldn't even look up at him. It must have been the wine. I couldn't seem to shake it. I felt the rush coming that I felt right before a complete melt down. Dang it. I really didn't want to look weak in front of him or anyone for that matter. I couldn't stop though, I was starting to shake. “I'm sorry,” I cried. “It must be the wine and I'm tired, I didn't mean to start . . . it's just . . .” I kept looking down and shook my head not knowing how to finish.
Derek got up from his couch and came over to mine and sat next to me, I had my face in my hands, bent forward, sniffling. “Hey, it's okay, “ he said. “If you're trying to be strong for me, you don't have to be.” He put his hand on my back and moved it in slow circles. “It's okay to cry,” he said softly. He rubbed my back for another minute, then said, “Why don't we call it a night. Between the stress and the wine, it's no wonder. Come on let's get you to bed,” he said helping me to my feet. He walked with me to my bedroom door.
“I have to run out to the car to get my things. I'll lock the place up when I get back in. I'll be right back,” he said gently, his eyes so full of concern. He tipped my chin up and wiped my tears with his thumbs. The corners of his mouth curled a tiny bit, and my heart softened even more. Then he turned to the door.
I felt like a baby but at the same time it felt good to be cared for. I closed my bedroom door and changed into my lounge wear. Derek came back in, and I heard the door shut and lock turn. I heard him pull the vertical blinds on the patio, too. I opened the door to head to the bathroom and ran into him in the hall.
“Hey,” I said, “I just wanted to say thank-you for coming here to help me. I know you didn't have to, and I know you don't have to be as nice as you're being either. I just wanted you to know I appreciate it.” I smiled softly at him.
“Look, I've been there,” he said softly. “Just let me know if there’s anything you need or if you just want to talk. I’ll leave my door open. If you get scared, or have another bad dream or just want to talk . . . I'll be in there if you need me, okay? I'm right across the hall,” he said, with a slow blink.
“Thank you, Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
I went into the bathroom and did my routine, then climbed into bed. It was hard to be there. So much had changed. I lay there remembering what Reggie had said. “People leave there different. It changes people.” It did, it had completely changed my life. I came here one person with one life and left a different person with a whole different life. We all had. I let myself cry. Then I heard my phone. Shit, my mom. I grabbed my phone but missed the call, so I texted her back because I didn't want her to hear the sadness in my voice. I let her know I was fine, going to bed and would call her tomorrow. I closed my eyes and talked to God for a while, and finally fell asleep.
18
I slowly opened my eyes. It was light in my room so I knew it was after seven. I glanced at the clock. Seven-forty-five. My eyes felt swollen from crying right before bed. Was that a pan I heard? I secretly hoped Derek was making breakfast. I heard the fridge open and close, I knew I'd stocked the fridge with breakfast stuff. Yes! I grabbed my bag and tried to sneak into the bathroom unnoticed, I didn't want him to see me without makeup and hair. I jumped in the shower and as I was drying off I heard a light tap at the door.
“Sara, breakfast will be ready in ten minutes,” Derek said.
“Okay, I'll be right there,” I yelled back. I liked him. I smiled and then suddenly I remembered what today might bring, and it wasn't going to be easy.
I quickly dressed in jeans and a fitted, screen-printed t-shirt. I brushed my teeth and combed through my wet hair. I decided to wait on styling my hair until after breakfast. I did put on my makeup though. When I finished with the second coat of waterproof mascara, I headed out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. Derek was in the kitchen, dressed in the same look as yesterday, but freshly showered and shaved. He smelled good, even from across the room, and so did breakfast.
“Good morning, sunshine!” he said all chipper, holding a spatula.
“Good morning. Thanks for cooking,” I said. “I didn't set my alarm. Sorry. You could have woke me up.”
“No, it's fine. I love to cook. I'm not used to cooking for anyone other than myself, though, so you'll have to bear with me on the service aspect,” he said with a wink.
“Well, it smells great,” I said.
We ate and discussed our plans. We decided to head into the woods and see if we could see anything like what had been in my dreams and play it by ear from there. If we did find something, there would be small hang ups with jurisdiction issues, which would require the assistance of the Bureau of Criminal Apprehension. We would need to get clearance before we could do too much. Derek supervisor was aware of all the details and already had a start on communications and paperwork with the locals and the BCA. The BCA headquarters was in the same building as the Minneapolis police department, so Derek knew some of the guys who worked the scenes that would maybe help us speed things along.
I fed Faith and then headed to the bathroom to dry and style my hair. It turned out really well, which I was thankful for. I gave myself a little pep talk in the mirror and then met Derek in the living room. He was putting a gun into a holster under his police jacket.
“Just in case,” he said with a reassuring smile.
I must have looked nervous because he walked up to me and said, “Hey, don't worry. I’ll keep you safe, but I have to wear this, I’m here on official police business.”
“I know. I'm sorry. I'm not against guns or scared of them it just suddenly seems much realer than it did a second ago.”
We laced up our shoes, and then he threw a backpack on.
“What's in that?”
“A first-aid kit, disposable camera, gloves, bottled water, and some other junk we hopefully don't need,” he told me.
I ran to my room, grabbed a sweatshirt, and we headed out. We locked the cabin, and Derek threw the keys in his backpack. I led him out to the backyard, and we stopped to look at the lake for a minute.
“This is my dream property,” he said.
“I hear ya. It's so beautiful and peaceful. I love it out here too.”
“Okay, little lady, lead the way.”
We headed through the woods chatting in detail about my dreams. The more we moved the more Derek sounded like a detective. He was in work mode now. We climbed and climbed, slowly getting closer to the top of the hill. When we got to the where I had stopped last time, I told him I didn't know what was beyond there.
“Well we've come this far. Let's keep going,” he said and he took the lead.
We came up to a rocky area, and he turned and asked if it looked anything like in my dream. I told him yes, and I was frozen. From where we were, I could see the lake, and there was
a little fog over it.
“Hey, it's okay. I'm right here,” Derek said, as he grasped my hand. “Which way now?”
“Over here,” I said, turning right, toward the lake. I wasn't really sure where I was going, but it felt right. I looked around. The ground was getting rockier, and we were very high above the lake now. I looked up and noticed the hill didn't seem to go much higher, so we must be close. Then, I saw it. I stopped in my tracks. I suddenly felt like the air had been sucked out of my lungs. I looked at Derek who was looking at me and waiting. I took a deep breath, my eyes wide, my heart beating hard. I could see it! The flat part of the cave that I sat on in my dream, just off to the side of the opening. Oh, crap, it existed!
“There it is!” I gasped, holding my hand over my mouth. It was all coming true. I had kinda doubted it, and now it was true! I climbed slowly closer, while explaining to Derek, “It looks just like in my dream. The opening is small and around to the left side.” My voice was getting shakier by the second, and tears were on the way.
“Sit down and stay here.” He moved up to the opening and took off his backpack. He pulled out a camera and snapped a couple pics and then grabbed a flashlight. I watched him as he peered in the cave. He scooted up closer and lay on his belly to stick his head in just like I had in the dream. I squinted my eyes shut and started crying because I just knew what he's going to see. I was quietly chanting, “Oh please, oh please, oh please.” As much as I hated Lily, I loved her and I didn't want her dead. I wanted her to be okay. I closed me eyes and prayed to God that she was okay. I looked again and he was leaning way in, his one arm and all of his upper body inside. I sat there looking at his butt and legs, waiting.
He pulled himself out and sat up. He looked at me and shook his head. “There's no body here. I can't see all of the cave, but there’s no body and there’s no smell either. But . . . I do see stains on the floor of the cave that look like blood. It looks like they lead up to the entry, like something was drug in or out,” he said in his official voice. “I'm going to make a call and get a crime scene unit up here to take samples, but for all we know it could be an animal.”
“Oh, my God, okay,” I said, starting to cry again. “I put my face in my hands and pulled my knees to my chest. My mind was racing, I didn't know what to think. If there was no body now what? Was it blood? Whose blood? If it was Lily's, where the hell was her body now? Was she alive or dead? Who or what moved her? No, it's probably just an animal that got old and died and another animal came and drug it out and ate it. Yeah . . . yeah right. I started sobbing. now I was more confused and lost than ever. Derek walked a few feet away and made a call.
I felt a hand on my back. Just the gentle touch made me lose it even more. There it was, all the emotion I had been holding back and putting off now flooding me all at once. I felt Derek sit down behind me, he straddled me and slid up close. He wrapped his arms around me, I leaned back against his chest and let the tears come. He rocked me gently back and forth and didn't say anything. About ten minutes passed, and I was settling down. I stretched my legs out and leaned back further into him. It felt so safe, so warm. He whispered in my ear that he'd called his supervisor, and they were sending a team from the department immediately. The locals would be here soon to set up a perimeter and assist, but the investigation was started with the St. Paul Police Department and was, at that point, still a missing persons report they were investigating. The Nisswa Police didn't have the budget, men, or resources to do it alone. The BCA would be assisting the SPPD in collecting samples, photos, and any evidence.
“We can stay and wait for the locals, or we can go back to the cabin. My team, along with the BCA won't be here for about three hours,” he said softly.
“I want to go back to the cabin.”
We walked back to the cabin, and Derek made some tea. I hit the bathroom and noticed all my makeup, except my waterproof mascara, had washed off. I touched up my hair and skipped the makeup. What was the point? I'd probably cry it off again anyway. I walked into the living room slowly.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Exhausted and confused.”
“Drink this,” he said handing me a cup. I took a sip but felt like a zombie. It was like I'd just run a marathon. I sat on the couch, and he sat next to me and was drinking a cup too.
“When Crime Scene gets here, I’ll take them up to the cave, and they’ll do their thing. It shouldn't take too long, maybe a couple hours. When they're done, the area will remain taped off and no one will be allowed in until we know the forensics on the stains and everything else they may find. If it is blood, it’ll only take a moment to know if it's human. If it's human, it could take up to a week to got the DNA back. The team will consist of three to five people, and they may send additional men or even a dog. They have already gotten a sweatshirt from Mark and Lily's apartment to give to the dog to get a scent. It's a big stretch because she's been missing for so long, but they may try,” Derek explained.
Faith jumped up my on lap and meowed over and over and then ran off. That made me smile.
“I don't think Faith want's a dog here,” I said.
“Well, then I'll have to tell them that the dog stays outside,” he smirked.
We sat on the couch in silence, and I leaned my head down on his shoulder. I looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was ten. I closed my eyes. When I opened them, I was laying down on the couch with a throw on me, and Derek was gone. I heard a car door and commotion outside, so I got up and walked to the window to see a bunch of men getting out of two black SUVs. They were all busy unloading stuff. Derek was out there talking to them. One of the guys had a dog. There were two Nisswa police cars, but I didn't see any local cops in uniform around. I guessed they were up at the cave. Derek looked like he was explaining things to the crew. They were all gathered around him and listening intently. He looked so professional and tough. They all nodded, and he said a few more words and then put his hands up as if to tell them to wait there. Then he turned toward the cabin, and they all gathered suitcases and light poles and other equipment. A few seconds later, he walked through the cabin door.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, walking up to me.
“Yeah, I'm sorry. I guess I was tired. The crew is here I see.”
“Yup, they just got here. We're headed up to the cave now, I just wanted to make sure you knew where I was. I’ll be on my cell phone if you need anything or get scared,” he said.
“Thanks. Will you call my cell if you find anything or if it gets too long?” I asked.
“Yes, I will,” he said. “Lock the door.”
“Okay, be safe,” I said. I closed the door behind him and turned the lock.
I called my mom and told her about my morning. She was very concerned and asked if she should call Lily's parents. I told her no, because we weren't sure of anything yet, and I didn't want them to worry any more than they had to.
I hung up and paced the room for a while. I didn't know what to do with myself. I sat on the couch and prayed some more, and then I put a movie in to try to help pass the time. It helped a little. I heard my phone, and it was Mark. I didn't know if I should answer, so I didn't. I let it ring. Then he sent a text.
Sara, just checking in. What are you up to?
I responded that I was at the mall shopping for a gift. I didn't want to tell him the truth because I wasn't sure if I trusted him. I just didn't know what to think about anyone right now. I really couldn't believe he hurt Lily, but he was with her last, and they had gone on a walk in the woods. just didn't know.
I sat down and watched some more of the movie, which seemed like a waste of time because I was looking at it, but I wasn't listening. My phone rang again. It was Derek. He said he and the team were on their way back. I looked at my watch, they had been up there for three and a half hours.
It took them a good thirty minutes to walk back with all the equipment. I looked out the window and saw a bunch of men loading stuff into
the SUVs. Derek talked to them briefly and then came to the door. I unlocked it and met him.
“Hey, relax,” he said gently and reached out and rubbed both my shoulders. I guess I must have looked really tense.
“Just tell me,” I demanded.
“Okay, well the stain we found was blood. We took lots of samples, and, like I said, it takes a bit to find out details. They can do a quick test to see if it’s human, and they’re doing that in the truck right now.”
“Okay,” I said breathing heavily. Man I do not handle stress well. I couldn't breathe again . . . I needed to throw up.
“There's something else, Sara, “ he said, leading me to the couch and pushing me to sit.
“Oh, God, what?” I said, scared to death to hear the answer.
“The cave opening was tiny but my men were able to get in and out and so was the dog. The dog was confusing us a bit. We thought that he may have shown signs that he picked up her scent. But then he went into a corner of the cave and started digging . . .” he said, slowly.
“What? What, Derek? Tell me!” I almost yelled.
“The dog found bones . . . human ones. There was a shallow grave in the cave.”
I grabbed my mouth and gasped, “What?” Tears instantly filled my eyes.
“They were old, Sara. We know that they’re not Lily's. The bones appear to be that of a young female, but the decay is many years old. We don't know for sure. We have to do tests in the lab to determine all that. The blood seems new, and the bones old, so we aren't sure wha’s going on right now. We need to get back to do more testing and investigating. The local cops who were up there mentioned Carrie. They think these might be her remains. Again, we don't know for sure, but they don't have any other missing persons that would match. We have a homicide now, but it's tricky because it seems there are two stories and two jurisdictions involved in this. So we’ll have to see how the BCA wants to handle it.”
I was still crying, but trying my hardest not to. “I don't believe this is happening. Do you have to leave now?” I asked.
Lost and Found: Sara Martin Series Page 14
