I thought that he had always been in the black sedan from the station so I didn't even know what he drove, and it never came up in conversation. “What do you drive?” I asked.
“You'll have to wait and see,” he said smiling. I squinted at him as he closed the door. Oh no, it's probably a two-seater, hot shot, bachelor car.
“Goodnight,” I said with a finger wave, and pulled away.
The next morning, I was up, dressed in black and ready to go. I was excited to see Derek again and to get this chapter of my life closed. While I was on my way down to the lot, Derek called and said he was down there waiting. I walked past the office and gave Jamie a wave. She was fanning her face like she was hot and then looked out the window to the lot and pointed. I laughed as I walked out the door and right in front of me stood a handsome man, dressed in a perfectly tailored, black suit, arms folded, leaning against a Jeep Grand Cherokee, just like mine. I started laughing and shook my head.
“Nice ride sport!” I said.
“Thanks, cutie. I thought you'd like it,” he said, opening my door for me.
His was black and mine was red, but other than that, they were the same!
When we got to Lily's funeral, we chose a seat in the back of the church. The service was full. I spotted a couple of mutual friends and co-workers in the crowd. They gave me small, close lipped smiles. I smiled back but it was really hard to be there. I didn't think it was going to be that bad but it was the most uncomfortable feeling I'd ever had. I had spent so much of my life loving this person and then for a brief moment in life I hated her and the next second she was gone.
Sadness was creeping in, and once the music started and they wheeled the casket into the church, I lost it. Derek passed me a box of Kleenex from the seat next to him and looked at me with concern. I spent the rest of the funeral, trying really hard to focus on the good times we’d had, which proved to be very challenging. I wondered as I looked around the room, how many people knew what she did to me, that she was my best friend and slept with my husband. I wondered if they knew that. I wondered if they knew who she really was. I tried to shake the mean thoughts away, but the anger was more powerful than my will. I wondered how Jake and Mark felt knowing she was being buried today and they couldn't even be there. I dried my eyes and looked at my watch. I just wanted this to be done and over and I never wanted to think about her again. When the service finally ended, I led Derek to the Jeep as fast as I could walk in heels.
“So, sweetness, how are you feeling?” he asked, in a sympathetic voice.
“I don't know. I went from sad, to angry, to wanting revenge, then back to sad,” I said checking the mirror. “But you know what? I did it, and it's over. I can move on with my life now and forget about her,” I said, with a half smile.
“Do you want to go out to the cemetery or to the luncheon?” he asked, as he started the engine.
“No cemetery. Yes to lunch but not here. Take me far away from here.” I said with a deep breath. I put my head back against the head rest and closed my eyes.
“You got it,” he said and put the car in gear. “I took the next two days off work . . . how far am I allowed to take you?” he asked.
I laughed and told him, “Not too far right now. I have a kitten at home.”
Derek settled on taking me to lunch and then to a movie so we could relax and just enjoy each other's company. We decided to stop by both of our apartments first and change into more comfortable clothes. We went to his place first. He went into the bedroom in a suit and came out in jeans and a long sleeved shirt that hugged his chest and arms just right. It was tan and made his blue eyes stand out. He grabbed a jacket from the closet, and we headed to my place.
When we got to my door, Faith came bounding over, as always. This made Derek laugh really hard.
“That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said laughing. He bent down and picked her up and made all sorts of cute faces and noises at her. I went into the bedroom and put on my best-fitting jeans and a red, fitted sweater, and jewelry to match. Then in the bathroom I touched up my make up and hair. I threw on socks, casual shoes and a dash of perfume. When I came out, I noticed Derek was out on the deck cuddling with Faith. He smiled at me through the glass door and came into the living room.
“Ready?” he asked, setting Faith gently on the floor.
“Yup, ready and hungry,” I answered. I tossed some kitten kibble in Faith's bowl and grabbed my purse.
Derek took me to a sports bar that had pool tables, dart boards, ping pong, Foosball, and a ton of other things to do. We ordered burger baskets and a pitcher and spend an hour game hopping, which was really fun because we're both very competitive. After we finished the pitcher, we drove to the movie theater and caught the latest Samuel Jackson flick. It was so nice to just sit quietly and know that Lily was laid to rest, my divorce would be final in a day or two, and I was there with a great man, who genuinely cared about me. I felt at peace, like I could breathe again, like I was in control again. I liked where I was at. I smiled and took a handful of popcorn from the bucket in Derek's lap and mentally thanked God for this moment and this feeling.
After the movie, we stopped by the grocery store and got a few things to make dinner together. Then we went to my place and sat on the deck and talked while we had a few beers and some snacks. The conversation was smooth. I decided not to tell him yet about my money. I'm sure he wondered how I could live like this and work very little, but I'd let him wonder a while longer. A few hours later, we'd both learned a lot more about each other and I felt like I had known him my whole life. I told him that, and he leaned over and kissed me.
We finished dinner quickly since we had to get up early to go to Nisswa for Carrie's funeral. Derek told me that Carrie's parents wanted to meet me. I had no idea what I’d say to them or what they thought of me. Derek informed me they were very spiritual and believed the dreams that I had. Nancy had told Derek that she had a similar dream a year or so ago.
I walked Derek to the door at eight-thirty. He took my face in his hands and kissed me gently and softly.
“I'll pick you up at five-thirty in the morning.
“Yay, looking forward to it,” I said with a fake smile.
“We'll stop for coffee as soon as we get out of the lot,” he assured me.
As soon as he left, I called my mom. They had declined the invitation to Lily's funeral but wanted me to call when I got home. I gave her the four-one-one and then went to bed.
I fell asleep easily and woke to my alarm clock at four-thirty. Geez, this was not a good idea. I hated mornings. I sauntered into the bathroom and turned on the water. After a long, hot shower, I dressed in black dress pants and a fall-colored dress shirt, threw on some jewelry, shoes, and a cute scarf. I did a quick make-up and hair routine, went to the kitchen and did the Faith routine, then I walked the garbage and litter out to the dumpster and met Derek in the lot at precisely five-thirty.
32
It was a long, boring drive, but Derek made it go by quickly . I told him that while I was in town I had a date to meet my friends Reggie and Maureen for pie again. He said that he had to get somethings taken care of at the Nisswa police station too, so we agreed to a plan. He would drop me off at the restaurant and go do his thing and then meet up with me when he was done.
I loved talking with Derek on the drive. He was so open and honest and didn't seem to care if I agreed or disagree. He just stated what he felt and moved on. Unlike most men I knew, he spoke from the heart. He always told me exactly what he was thinking and how he felt at that moment, and I didn't even have to ask. It was so nice because there were no guessing games with him. He was just cool and confident and strong, both physically and mentally.
“I'm falling for you, Sara, and I don't know what to do with all the emotions I'm feeling. I wonder all the time, what you think about us . . . and if there is an us,” he said, hesitantly.
“I think there is. I feel the same way. I wonder all t
he time what you’re thinking too.”
It scared me that maybe I was just clinging to him for security. I hadn't dated since before Jake and that was seventh grade, so in reality I hadn't dated at all.
“Do you think we're moving too fast?” I asked.
Derek turned his head and looked me in the eyes and said, “No, I like the pace. And when I'm not with you, I'm thinking about you and wondering when I'll get to see you again. When my phone rings, I get goosebumps and wonder if it's you. I'm actually disappointed if it's not. And when it is you, I have to catch my breath before I answer.”
This was so nice to hear. Jake had always been nice but short. More like, “You look nice,” not “Wow you take my breath away when I see you.” That was a huge difference, and I liked it. I could totally get used to it.
“I'm just nervous that I'm on the rebound and that I'm moving too fast. And that people will think bad of me,” I confessed.
He reassured me by looking at me and saying, “If it feels right. It's not wrong. And don't worry about what other people think.”
I nodded in agreement and smiled at him and blinked slowly. Gosh, he was so beautiful. I looked out the window and admired the colors of the trees. They were just past peak, and the sun was starting to come up. Derek put his hand on my thigh, and I tipped my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. I felt the car stop, and I opened my eyes. We were at a gas station in Nisswa.
“Morning, sunshine,” Derek said with a slap on my leg. “We're a little early, so I'm going to fill up and hit the bathroom.”
I nodded and stretched, then exited the Jeep. The air was cool and crisp. I tossed my purse over my shoulder and walked around to the other side were Derek was leaning back on the Jeep waiting for it to fill. He smiled and gave me a “come here” finger wave. I walked over to him, and he pulled me in and hugged me, wrapping his coat around my sides with his hands still in his pockets. He buried his nose in my neck, inhaled deeply and kissed my neck. Okay, I was awake! He smelled so welcoming.
The nozzle clicked, and we parted. I told him I'd meet him inside and shuffled to the building. I gave the cashier my card and told her I was paying for the gas. Then I went to the bathroom. When I got out, Derek was just coming out of the men's room.
“Thanks for the gas, sweetness,” he said.
“You're welcome,” I said with a wink.
After we both grabbed another coffee, we jumped back in the Jeep. We arrived at the funeral home ten minutes early. After we sat down in the back, Derek pointed out Bill and Nancy and a few local police he’d worked with. I recognized Reggie, Maureen, and the librarian, Vikki. I bet she had some questions for me. All of a sudden I got nervous. My heart was racing, I was hot, and I could feel my face turning red. I knew I didn't cause all this but in some ways I felt I did. Now that I thought that, I felt really sick. I whispered all this in Derek's ear. He turned and looked at me then took my arm and led me to a back hall of the church. He gently pushed me back against the wall and put his finger under my chin and lifted my face to meet his eyes.
“Hey, I don't want to hear that. This was in no way your fault!” he said, in a very stern voice. “This situation happened a long time ago and had nothing at all to do with you. God simply used you as his angel, on earth, to provide Bill and Nancy with closure and give them a way to get their daughter back. You did that! They love you for it. You need to believe that and nothing else. You're an angel for Carrie and Lily, and a lot of people are grateful for what you've done. God knew that you were strong enough to handle it, and I think He was right. Now, take a deep breath and be proud. Keep your chin up,” he said firmly, then kissed my forehead.
After a deep breath, I nodded and dried my tears. That was everything I needed to hear. I loved him. I really did. I wouldn't tell him that yet though. He took my hand and walked me out to the main lobby. The lobby was full. People were getting their last chance to pray over the urn. The urn was beautiful, and there were a bunch of pictures all around it. I walked up to them and looked closely. It was so strange to see Carrie in kid’s clothes, playing on the swing set in the backyard. There was one of her first Communion and her first day of school . . . I had only ever seen her as a ghost in a white dress and it was always so foggy and misty. She was a beautiful little girl. It made me so sad to think of what a loss her parents experienced. The pain of never seeing her again, and wondering for all those years where she was and what she might have gone through. My heart ached for them. I felt Derek tap me. I looked up at him and he tipped his head toward who I assumed were her parents. The crowd from around them was thinning so he walked over and I followed.
“Bill and Nancy Sanders, “ he said gently, “I'd like you to meet Sara Martin.”
I smiled a sad, closed lipped smile and extended my hand. Nancy wrapped her arms around me and whispered, “Thank you,” in my ear. I returned the hug and said, “You're welcome,” back. That put me into full-on tears. Then Bill hugged me and said his thanks too.
“I'm so sorry for your loss,” I added, looking at them both.
“Thank you, dear. It sounds like you've had a rough few weeks, too,” Bill said.
I nodded in agreement.
Nancy asked if I'd had any more dreams. I told her and Bill about my last one. They were both sad and relieved at my story. It felt weird to tell them. I didn't consider myself psychic in anyway, and I wasn't sure I believed in them either.
The funeral director walked in and said we were going to get started. Derek and I took the same seats in the back. Bill and Nancy walked in carrying the urn to the front alter. I felt weak just watching.
The service lasted about an hour and was really nice. I only cried a little, which I considered an accomplishment. Afterward, we had time so we did the cemetery part. Then when people started getting in their cars we went over to Bill and Nancy and said goodbye. I exchanged numbers with Nancy in case she wanted to talk about things in the future.
After we got in the Jeep, we drove to the diner. I told Derek I would see him soon and hoped out curbside. I was a little early, which gave me time to get my paperwork organized. When Reggie and Maureen arrived, I was really excited to see them! We exchanged hugs. They sat down in the booth with me and pulled out a bunch of papers, too. Then after a few minutes, their agent arrived, and we finished our business.
An hour later, Derek called and told me he was on the way. I met him outside. When I got in the car, I asked how his meeting went, and he said the cases were both officially closed. He looked relieved.
“The chief of police was there and said that he'd heard good things about how well I handled the case and about my professionalism,” Derek said. “It seems he's looking at retirement next year and said that he’d love to talk to me about a position.”
“As chief of police? Would you consider it?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I don't know. I love it up here. Up until recently, there wasn't anything keeping me in the city. Now . . . I don't know. I guess time will tell.” He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back.
“How was your pie date?” Derek asked.
I sighed. “Perfect. It feels great to have all this done and behind me.”
When we got back into town Derek pulled into my lot and dropped me off at my apartment building's front door. I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss.
“I'll call you tomorrow.” I said.
33
The next few days went by really fast. My divorce was final. I ran to my office and got copies of the papers and used the fax there to send them off. I was so excited that I could hardly catch my breath. I went in to a stall in the ladies room and did a silent happy dance and jumped up and down a few times. Then, after I was composed, I stopped by all my friends' offices, said hi and picked up a client file for a living will and trust for a young couple. I checked in with my supervisor and told her I'd have it back in a day or two.
I walked out of the building with an extra spring in my step. When I got to my Jee
p, I called Kat and told her I was having a Bar-B-Que on Sunday, and she said she'd be there.
I dialed Derek. “What's up, beautiful?” he answered.
“What's your schedule for the day?” I asked, getting an instant smile.
“I'm at work until ten . . .” he said slowly.
“Do you want to meet for a drink after you’re done, at Buffalo Wild Wings.”
“Okay. I see ya there . . . about ten fifteen,” he said.
I made a quick phone call to make sure that my fax was received. It was. After I showered and spent lots of time on my makeup and hair, which turned out fabulous. I dressed in my other new shirt that I still hadn't worn and some jeans that fit just right. I threw on some heels and big hoop earrings then downed a beer from the fridge. I gave my mom a quick call to catch her up, telling her that I was going to have a little get together on Sunday to celebrate. She said that she and Dad would be there.
At about ten-twenty, Derek showed up, looking as hot as ever. He walked right up to me, put both hands on my face and gave me a strong, passionate kiss. I thought it was almost like he was making it known that I was his, marking his territory. Which was fine by me.
He leaned forward and whispered, “I missed you the last few days. I'm really glad you called.” Then he looked me up and down and made a quiet, grunting noise in his throat.
“What's your schedule like this weekend,” I asked.
“I work Saturday from five to nine in the morning to make up a few hours, then I have Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday off.”
“Do you have anything planned?” I asked.
“No.”
“Keep it open. I have a plan,” I informed him and he seemed perfectly fine with that.
Saturday morning I got up early, got groceries, and called Derek.
“I’ll be to your place by ten. Be ready and dressed casually. The plan is full of surprises, so you’ll be on a need-to-know basis.” I smiled as I disconnected. I liked the power.
Lost and Found: Sara Martin Series Page 22
