by Kim Lawrence
Poppy blinked and thought, So not in the mood for small talk.
‘If it was any of your business, which it isn’t—’ Poppy paused; the sound that emerged from his brown throat sounded suspiciously like a growl. ‘Will you stop looking at me like that?’ she said urgently. ‘People are staring.’
He raised a sardonic brow. ‘And you wore that dress because you wanted to fade into the background, I suppose.’
Two circles of bright angry colour appeared on her cheeks as she lifted her chin. Of all the nerve! Half the women here were wearing less than her—a lot less; she looked like a nun compared with some here!
‘Sorry you don’t like it,’ she said, producing a smile of brilliant insincerity.
His heavy lids covered the glitter in his dark eyes as his glance slid down her body. ‘I do like it and so does every other man in the room,’ he contended throatily.
By the time his eyes had returned to her face the pink in Poppy’s cheeks had spread to the heaving contours of the creamy slopes of her heaving bosom.
‘I was actually enjoying myself until you arrived.’
‘I know. I saw you enjoying yourself during the film and so did everyone else. You were making a total spectacle of yourself!’ he charged.
‘You were there!’ Her eyes narrowed.
‘Yes.’
‘Alone?’
‘No, not alone, I was with Dina.’
Poppy sucked in an angry breath. ‘Well, and why not? Off with the old, on with the new—unless Dina is special?’
‘You’re jealous!’ The discovery curved his sensual lips into a smile of smug male satisfaction.
Poppy gave a tinkling laugh. ‘This from the man who walked in here trailing his knuckles on the floor. I have to tell you the Neanderthal thing does not work for me,’ she said, sounding bored.
‘A problem, Poppy?’ Charlie, smiling and urbane, appeared at her side, glass of champagne in his hand.
She took a deep breath and turned to him. ‘No, everything’s fine,’ she lied, managing a shaky smile.
Charlie looked unconvinced. ‘Want to dance?’
‘No, she doesn’t. We were talking.’
Gianluca’s voice could have refrigerated volcanic lava.
Poppy had always liked George’s dad, but her admiration increased tenfold as she watched him refuse to flinch. It was quite an achievement: if looks could kill he would be stretched out lifeless at Gianluca’s feet.
‘Are you going to introduce me to your friend, Poppy?’
Poppy squeezed Charlie’s arm. ‘He was actually just going.’
Gianluca looked from the fingers curved over the other man’s arm to the message she was sending him with her eyes. The intimacy of the moment hit him; in a split second he saw that she was worried, not for herself, but for this guy … He had blown it.
The knowledge hit him with a force roughly equivalent to running full pelt into a solid wall.
‘Yes,’ he said abruptly. ‘I was.’
Charlie offered to walk her up to her flat but Poppy declined. She waved goodbye to the departing taxi and approached the building where she lived, a sixties redbrick block.
Rather than wait for the lift, she took the stairs to her third-floor flat. Holding her skirt so that it didn’t trail in the dust, she didn’t immediately see the figure sitting with his back propped against her door, his head rested on his knees.
‘Gianluca.’ Her treacherous heart leapt at the sight of him.
His head lifted. ‘You’re home early and alone?’
‘We all need a break from the relentless sex and debauchery once in a while,’ she drawled sarcastically.
‘I suppose I deserve that.’
She arched a brow. The explosive anger had gone and it was replaced by something she couldn’t quite work out. ‘You think?’
Gianluca dragged a hand through his hair, scrubbing it back and forth across his head. The dishevelled condition of the short dark hair standing in spikes suggested this was not the first time he’d done it.
Back pressed against the door, he pulled himself upright.
‘Do you love him?’
Poppy stared. She had the impression that Gianluca was almost as surprised as she was by the question.
‘The film-director guy—are you in love with him?’
‘No.’
He closed his eyes, exhaled and nodded, then said rather obscurely, ‘That’s something,’ before adding, ‘Can I come in?’
She shook her head, ashamed because she wanted to say yes, wanted to say it so much it hurt. ‘I think you should go back to Dina or whoever …’
‘Dina has to be up—she has school tomorrow.’ He saw the shocked horror flash in her eyes and added drily, ‘She’s my niece, Poppy, and she wants to be an actress. Her parents are hoping she’ll change her mind and settle for being a world-famous surgeon.’
‘You went to the premiere with your niece.’
A wry smile touched his lips. ‘I know, not really my style but my sister tricked me into it. My PA forgot the girl’s last birthday and I am still paying.’
‘Your PA forgot?’
The irony in her voice sailed over Gianluca’s head. ‘The women in my family are very manipulative.’
‘If the men are anything like you they have to be. Why are you here, Luca, acting like …?’
‘Acting like a complete fool?’ he suggested.
Poppy gave a shaky laugh. ‘Now that you mention it … yes.’
He levered himself off the wall and approached her, his hands extended but not trying to touch her. ‘Have I completely blown it?’ His jaw clenched as he waited for the answer his future depended on … What would he do if she said yes? She couldn’t say yes.
Luca was asking her for reassurance. Luca humble—now that was weird on more levels than she could count. ‘Blown what?’
She wasn’t making this easy, but who could blame her? ‘Us.’
The intensity of his scrutiny burned into her.
‘You’re asking me?’ She framed her reply cautiously, still not sure if the rug was going to be pulled out from under her feet at any moment. Still not allowing herself to believe this was what she hoped. ‘I thought I left that ball in your court.’
‘Look, I know you’ve probably moved on with this Charlie Semple and—’
Poppy took a deep breath and decided to get that one out of the way. ‘Charlie is George’s dad.’
Luca’s response was not one of relief. ‘George!’ he roared, forgetting his intention to be understanding and tolerant and if necessary beg.
He held onto the option of throttling both of these other guys in reserve.
‘How many are there?’ It had only been six weeks!
‘George as in my half-brother George.’
A thunderstruck expression crossed Gianluca’s face. He bit out a curse. ‘So that guy … he … you weren’t on a date?’ He dragged a hand down his jaw and groaned.
Poppy pulled a bunch of keys out of her tiny bag and threw them at him. ‘No, not a date.’
Gianluca automatically caught them one-handed. He looked from the keys in his hand to Poppy and angled a questioning brow.
‘Open the door—my hands are shaking too much.’ She held them out to show how much.
Gianluca looked at the white hands and he turned abruptly, his own hands not rock steady as he inserted the keys, opened the door and stood to one side to let her pass.
‘What are you waiting for—an invitation?’ she asked when he didn’t follow. ‘That would be a first.’
‘Yes.’ It was, as far as he was concerned, a night for firsts.
‘Please come in, Luca.’ And stay, stay for ever.
He stepped through the door that opened directly into the open-plan living area.
‘Don’t bother saying this is nice,’ she said, making her voice hard—inside everything was shaking like jelly. ‘Because I’m sure you didn’t spend the last … how long were you sitting there anyho
w?’
‘Two hours.’
‘Two hours on my doorstep because you want to discuss my décor.’ The two hours in question had taken their toll. He still wore the same suit but it was now creased and dusty, his snowy shirt was open at the neck and his crumpled tie hung loose.
‘I sat there because I want you and I would have spent a lot more than two hours to achieve this, though I think your suspicious neighbour across the corridor might by that point have called the police.’
‘Mr Nasir, and we’re all a bit cautious. There have been a lot of break-ins in the building.’
‘I am not surprised about the break-ins. The lock—’ he nodded towards the door ‘—is useless. I am not a career criminal and I could have got in—’ He stopped and added, ‘Obviously I didn’t.’
‘It didn’t even cross your mind?’ she teased.
He shrugged. ‘All right, it crossed my mind.’ At that moment so were other things and they were a lot more difficult to resist than house-breaking. ‘You look incredible tonight.’
He wants me. The boned bodice of her dress suddenly felt extremely tight. She met his gaze.
His smile had a raw primitive quality that made her tummy muscles violently quiver as he continued to stare into her eyes. ‘I wasn’t sure if you’d wait, cara …?’ He dragged a hand through his hair and thought, So far not bad, Luca, but you could up your game, use the L word.
Was he the only man in the world who found saying ‘I love you’ more terrifying than having a parachute fail at twenty thousand feet? At least with a parachute there was a back-up.
Her eyes shone. ‘I have.’ The time-limit thing had been a bluff. Poppy was pretty sure that she’d have waited all her life for Luca. ‘I think you’re my soul mate.’ She half thought he might laugh, but he didn’t.
‘I think so too. I always wanted you. I wanted you when I married Aurelia. I never stopped … and she knew … I know she knew …’
The guilt and self-recrimination in his voice cut her like a blade.
‘I was so stupid.’ He shook his head as he considered the life choice he had made at twenty-three. ‘I thought I was doing the right thing.
‘You have no idea how many times I thought of you and what I had lost … then when I had the chance to have it again I very nearly …’
Poppy took his hand and laid it against the curve of her damp cheek.
‘How am I doing here with the soul-bearing …?’
‘Impressive,’ she said, looking up at him through misted eyes.
‘The family-duty thing—I fell for it totally. It was a total set-up,’ he admitted. ‘My dad made some bad … very bad business decisions. Without Aurelia’s father’s help he would have lost everything, gone to jail. If I married Aurelia that all went away.’
Poppy gasped in horror at the cold-blooded mercenary arrangement as she clutched Luca’s hand between her own. ‘Did Aurelia know about it?’
‘Honest answer—I’ve no idea. If she did she never said.’
‘It sounds as if she was a very troubled woman, Luca,’ Poppy said quietly. ‘But if she cared for you I’m sure she’d want you to be happy.’
‘I know it’s been weeks but I’ve been … I’ve been a gutless wonder.’
The frank admission drew a weak smile from Poppy.
‘I sacrificed you … us, and then all it caused was misery.’ He fixed her with a look that made her heart leap in her chest. ‘I want you to know that when I tell you that I want to be a couple … exclusive couple … I want … to make you happy, Poppy, but hell my track record is not good!’
‘Stop!’ she pleaded, reaching up to take his face between her hands. ‘This isn’t about the past, it’s about the future—our future … I love you very much.’
‘And I love you, cara mia,’ he husked, brushing her forehead with his lips before he lowered them to her mouth and kissed her deeply, with a passion and tenderness that shook her to the core.
When he released her she smiled and said, ‘I always knew you did,’ with such smug satisfaction that he laughed.
The laughter eased some of the tension in the room.
His voice was thick with emotion as he said, ‘If I hurt you … I couldn’t live with it.’ There was a bleak finality to his words. ‘When I think what we could have had … and I threw it all away.’
‘We still could have it, Luca.’ She took his big hand and gently laid it on her stomach.
He froze, his eyes slowly filling with shock as the significance of her action hit him, then incredulity as it sank in. ‘Dio, is it possible?’ he asked in a raw voice of wonder.
She nodded.
He stared at her, paralysed, it seemed, by the information. ‘A baby?’
‘Our baby …’
‘But how …? I was careful I …’
Poppy framed his face with her hands. ‘The night when I came down to the kitchen …’
His eyes squeezed closed and he ejaculated rawly, ‘I am not likely to forget.’ He dampened his own jubilation and directed a cautious look at her face. ‘And how do you feel about it? Are you well? Have you seen a doctor?’
‘Great, yes, and yes in that order. I’m fine, Luca … a bit queasy but happy.’
‘Truly?’
‘When I thought you were not coming for me it was all that kept me going.’
He kissed her then, a kiss so tender that it brought tears to her eyes. ‘I have missed you,’ he said, trailing a finger down her smooth cheek.
‘So why didn’t you come for me sooner?’
His eyes slid from hers. ‘There were reasons.’
Poppy shook her head, not willing to take his evasive answer. ‘What reasons?’
He regarded her with ill-concealed frustration tinged with what she would have called embarrassment had it been anyone but Gianluca.
‘Will you not take my word that until Monday I was unable to travel? I planned to see you tonight, then my sister hijacked me and played the you-forgot-your-only-niece’s-birthday guilt card. I didn’t even know I had an invite to the damned thing.’
Poppy refused to be distracted by the extra detail. ‘No.’
His jaw tightened at the monosyllabic response.
‘Fine,’ he said, throwing up his hands in a gesture of defeat. ‘I had … I was contagious.’
‘How contagious?’
‘I had chicken pox!’
Poppy stared. ‘You had chicken pox?’
‘Laugh, I can take it—my family thought it hilarious,’ he revealed bitterly. ‘It so happens that when contracted by an adult this childhood disease is anything but a laughing matter.’ To be confined to his bed by a trivial childhood illness at such a moment had been one of the most frustrating and humiliating things in his entire life. ‘You are laughing …?’ he accused.
Poppy shook her head. ‘No,’ she promised, biting her lip. ‘Well, only on the inside just a little,’ she admitted, holding her forefinger and thumb a little apart to show him how little. ‘You have to admit it’s not a very … macho illness and you are very …’ She let out a yelp as Gianluca, a growl vibrating in his throat, grabbed her and dragged her into his arms.
Her soft curves moulded themselves to the hard, lean lines of his body as she melted with a sigh into him. One hand on the back of her head, he looked down into her face.
‘I am very?’ he prompted throatily.
The lights dancing in his dark eyes made her head spin. ‘You’re …’ With a moan she grabbed his face between her hands and pressed her mouth to his. ‘You’re beautiful,’ she whispered against his mouth.
Unable to resist any longer, he slid his tongue between her parted lips, tasting her sweetness, deepening the pressure as the excitement built.
When they finally broke apart they were both breathing hard. ‘I need to do that on a regular basis.’
His hand moved on a restless caressing sweep up and down the outer curve of her silk-clad thighs creating a friction that sent tingles through her entire bod
y. ‘What you said to me that day was quite the wake-up call.’
He suddenly let her go and walked across the room.
‘I need to say things and I can’t think when I’m touching you.’
The explanation made her feel better but not much. ‘Fine,’ she said, arranging her skirt as she sat down on the sofa.
‘When you said you love me … I … that’s the one thing I thought I never wanted to hear again. I caused the death of the last person who said that to me. I killed her—I killed my wife.’ He saw the expression on Poppy’s face and added, ‘I know, not literally, but I didn’t … love her. I married her knowing that, hoping it might happen …’ He flashed her a look that made Poppy’s tender heart bleed. ‘But it couldn’t because you already had my heart.
‘Then she lost the baby and when she needed me I wasn’t there, I was never there—she died from neglect.’ He recounted this sequence of tragic events in an unemotional monotone that made Poppy yearn to hug him. When she thought of him carrying around this guilt in his heart for all this time—it broke her heart.
‘You lost a baby too, Gianluca.’
He looked surprised by the comment, as though he had not thought of it that way before.
‘It happened.’ He flashed a look at her face. ‘And you are meant to move on but I didn’t. I was so damned terrified of ever being responsible for hurting someone again that I surrounded myself with people as shallow and self-seeking as I am.’
‘You’re not!’ Poppy protested, jumping to her feet.
‘I was never going to love anyone, then you came and all those years I’d been thinking about you, thinking about you standing there telling me I was the one you loved, the one who was meant to kiss you, make love to you, and I knew you were right. I just couldn’t help myself. You’re so delicious and funny and scarily outspoken—I couldn’t keep my hands off you. Even though I knew no matter what I told myself that I was falling for you and … I never want to hurt you, Poppy, but, God, I am selfish—I need you.’
She flew across the room and straight into his arms. ‘The only way you’ll hurt me is if you go away again!’
‘That’s not going to happen,’ he said, staring down into the delicate little face turned up to him. Loving every inch of it. ‘I’m not that strong. I was going to suggest we take things slowly, give me time to prove … but the baby changes things.’
