“Forgive me, Father, I shall bother you no more with my insistence.”
The matter was thus quickly settled, although unfavourably. The rest of the journey was, fortunately, of short duration, and two hours later, Mr. Bennet and his daughter were happily reunited with the Gardiners. Though their residence was handsome and elegantly arranged, her uncle and aunt’s joy at seeing them was genuine and warm. Elizabeth felt at home in her aunt’s arms as the gentlemen retired to the library in some haste.
While drinks and refreshments were ordered for everyone, Elizabeth calmed herself with a cup of tea and Mrs. Gardiner’s warm company.
“My dear Lizzy, I am so happy to see you again! I cannot wait to hear news from Longbourn—all very good, I hope. I have missed you all dearly.”
“I do have news, dear Aunt, although how good it is, I cannot be sure. However, everyone is in good health; you must not worry on that account.”
The torment of the last days, the weight of the secrets she could not share, the concern for her father—all became too much to bear for Elizabeth under Mrs. Gardiner’s kind inquiries. Elizabeth’s trust in her aunt was complete, as was her confidence in her judgment and wisdom. Therefore, she needed little encouragement to drop the burden from her shoulders and share with her aunt all the events and concerns that induced her to leave Longbourn and for Jane to remain there. The only part of which she did not mention a single word was the story of Miss Darcy and Mr. Wickham. That secret was not hers to share.
“Lizzy dearest, although I knew some of this, it sounds quite distressing. Poor Jane—such a sensitive soul—I cannot imagine what this must have done to her!”
“I was so worried, Aunt Miriam, I did not know what to do. She would not even admit her true feelings to me although I knew how much she suffered. And Mama kept insisting upon the subject, as though it were Jane’s fault. The wound was not allowed to heal. I hope Jane is better now, but I still have my doubts. I would do anything to help her more…”
“It saddens me that things did not happen as Jane hoped. I know your mother can be quite…difficult to handle at times, but she is only concerned with your well-being. And I cannot help wondering about Mr. Bingley’s resolve—which is quite an important quality in a gentleman.”
“I agree; Jane deserves someone to recognize her feelings and fight for them more than he did. But he seemed such a worthy gentleman! And Jane admired him so much! Were we all wrong about him? How can a woman know who is right and who is wrong for her, Aunt? How can she be certain she is truly in love or that a man is worthy of her affection?”
“Dear child, I wish I could answer that question. I was lucky to meet Mr. Gardiner, who has been part of my soul all these years. However, this may come as a surprise to you; I did not always love him. Of course, I respected him and, in due course, came to care for Mr. Gardiner with all my heart. But my affection for him grew day by day. Now, I could not live one day apart from him. On the other hand, I was told that your mother was very much in love with your father when they married. She seemed to be so lucky to marry for love. How I envied her! But love is a tricky thing, Lizzy; it can be an illusion that creates a distance between two people, or it can be a door to happiness. It is, I am afraid, rather complicated, and if you do not mind my saying so, it grows only with adversity. Love, when it is good, fortifies you. I know everyone dreams of a fairy tale ending, but I have better than that. I have something real. Mr. Gardiner and I have not been blessed with children; I do not know whether I would have had them with another husband. However, in spite of the hardships our marriage has had—as there were such times as well—I do believe that I would make the same choice again. I would choose him even with the sadness. So my only answer to your question would be this: you might know if a man is worthy of your affection if he is worth sharing your tears.”
Elizabeth had never heard her aunt speak so intimately about her life with Mr. Gardner or about the details of her parents’ marriage. She was surprised to hear such a heartfelt confession about such a delicate matter, and both her mind and her heart were affected by the wise words. But a question rose in her mind and blurred her already disturbed thoughts: was Mr. Darcy worth sharing her tears?
“But, Lizzy dear, why do you ask such questions? Is it on Jane’s behalf, or do you have reasons of your own? Is there something more that troubles you?”
Elizabeth was alarmed, and she was ready to deny her own concerns, but her aunt could not be fooled as she patiently waited in silence, demanding to know more.
But Elizabeth offered only half the truth. “My questions were out of curiosity, Aunt. We both know that we—women—have few real choices; we are not allowed to openly speak our minds or disclose our feelings. We can only wait, hope, and put our future in danger by rejecting proposals we consider unsuitable for us—and pray that the gentleman we care for will not allow himself to be affected by family or friends who might disapprove his inclination.”
Mrs. Gardiner chuckled. “I imagine you are tempted to blame others for Mr. Bingley’s change of mind, but as I already said, this does not speak well of his own strength of character.”
“You imagine correctly. I do know for sure that both Mr. Bingley’s sisters and Mr. Darcy influenced his decision. But I would say Mr. Darcy’s censure came from his own conviction, while the sisters were selfish, unkind, and unfair to Jane.”
“You sound bitter and upset—and likely reasonably so. But just imagine: If Jane had married Mr. Bingley and he allowed himself to be influenced by his sisters, how would that affect Jane’s marriage?”
“You are right again, Aunt. I had not thought of this before.”
“And what of Mr. Darcy? He is quite a character from what you told me of him. He seemed to make quite an impression on you, which is not surprising. You know, I grew up in a small town only five miles from Pemberley, and everyone knew the Darcys. The late Mr. Darcy was an excellent, much-admired landlord and quite handsome, I must say. His son was expected to inherit his traits. I was very young back then, but I recollect Mr. Darcy having dark, brown eyes while Lady Anne had the loveliest, warmest blue eyes.”
Elizabeth flushed, barely able to think. “Well, it seemed he had—I mean—from what I heard, Mr. Darcy is a good landlord and an affectionate brother.”
“Is he handsome, too?”
Elizabeth felt her cheeks burning. “He is…he must have taken the blue eyes from his mother. But he is silent and very proud…”
“Well, my dear, anyone who has seen Pemberley, even from afar, would say that he had good reasons to be so.” Mrs. Gardiner smiled in an attempt to amuse her niece.
“Aunt, do you know anything about Mr. Wickham? As I told you, I have reason to believe he deceived me and that he is not an honourable gentleman. I just want to be certain before I judge him too harshly.”
I have already judged another gentleman too harshly. I should at least not repeat the mistake, Elizabeth mused as she struggled to maintain a calm appearance.
“Nothing at all, my dear. As you can imagine, I was not close to the family; I never spoke to any of them directly. And we left Lambton when I was very young; Mr. Wickham must have been only a toddler at the time. But I can write to my friends and ask about him should you wish it.”
“Oh, I am not sure it would worth the trouble. Mr. Wickham will leave soon, and we are likely never to see him again. His character and his past dealings with Mr. Darcy will not affect our lives in the slightest.”
“True. But to be honest, I would like to know more. Everything you told me of the young Mr. Darcy intrigues me. And I believe I can glimpse some interest in you regarding this particular gentleman. Or am I assuming too much?”
Elizabeth blushed and tried to keep her voice light when she replied, avoiding her aunt’s inquiring gaze. “You do assume too much, dear aunt, but I cannot deny that I was intrigued by Mr. Darcy from the beginning of our acquaintance. He is a man impossible to read; the good opinion he claimed to have of me was a
complete surprise. I was always sure he only looked at me—at everybody—only to find faults.”
“Well, if he did admire you, it only proves his wisdom and excellent taste. Such a pity that you will likely never see him again,” Mrs. Gardiner added with a trace of humour in her voice, leaving Elizabeth even more flustered.
“Now, Lizzy, enough of conversation—let me show you to your room. You should rest for a little while then prepare for dinner. I shall check upon the gentlemen too.”
“Yes…and, Aunt, please see if Papa is well. He has behaved so strangely lately. I can see there is something of great importance that troubles him, but he will not confide in me. If I could only help him!”
Mrs. Gardiner did not appear as surprised as Elizabeth expected. “Lizzy darling, I believe we should leave the manly problems to the gentlemen. If your father needs your help, he will certainly ask for it. For now, your uncle is assisting him with everything he needs.”
Later, Elizabeth allowed herself to be wrapped in the silence of her comfortable room. She felt relieved after the conversation with her aunt, and although most of the questions remained unanswered, she was pleased not to carry them alone any longer. Her distress regarding her father also diminished somewhat. Any problem he might have had—surely, her uncle would provide the necessary support in handling it.
Elizabeth briefly thought of her mother and sisters, and she wrote a note to Jane to let her know they arrived safely. Then she opened the window, and the noise of the street invaded the room. She looked outside and found it rather empty. Of course, it was summer; most respectable families would never stay in London for the summer. If Gracechurch Street was animated, she imagined the more illustrious neighbourhoods were more tranquil. She, much like her father, had no love for London, but she did enjoy the season of theatre and opera. Of course, at that time she did not expect to be entertained. Her thoughts, however, did not stop wondering whether a certain gentleman—and maybe his friend—was still in Town. Not that she imagined they would meet; surely, he never travelled anywhere close to Gracechurch Street!
But why even think of such a thing? She must learn—once for all—to forget anything related to Mr. Darcy!
Dinner that evening was a quiet affair. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner carried the conversation with little help from Elizabeth. Mr. Bennet was not his usual self, and he retired early, claiming fatigue.
The night passed restlessly for Elizabeth, and she welcomed the dawn. Her feelings were not what she expected. She had hoped that, in being away from Longbourn, her memories would dissipate and the distance would help her overcome any unreasonable struggles. But again, she was wrong; her mind was filled with even more tormenting thoughts.
By the time she joined the family for breakfast, Elizabeth found only Mrs. Gardiner; she was informed that both her father and her uncle had left early.
“Do you know where?” she asked in a perturbed state of mind.
“Mr. Gardiner said they had to meet a few people to solve some business problems. I did not inquire further; I am sure they will tell us at the proper time.”
“I suppose so…” Elizabeth glanced at her aunt, and for the first time, she had a slight impression that she was not being completely honest. Mrs. Gardiner’s relative calmness betrayed her knowing more than she was willing to share.
“Lizzy my dear, what would you say to a ride, perhaps to Hyde Park? And we should go shopping ; I need a new bonnet, and I am sure we shall find something nice for you too.”
“I cannot think of anything I need, but I shall gladly keep you company, Aunt.”
That day and the next, Elizabeth joined Mrs. Gardiner on rides in the phaeton, walks in the park and useless purchases. She tried to enjoy her time with her dear aunt but met with little success. Every time she noticed a tall gentleman of imposing stature, a handsome carriage, or a rider on a large black horse, Elizabeth’s heart skipped a beat—and for no reason. The person she feared—and hoped—to see was not there. But her restlessness drew Mrs. Gardiner’s attention, as well as her questions.
Just as she felt her aunt kept a secret from her, Elizabeth did the same. She only offered answers to put her aunt at ease while she tried to correct her silly behaviour.
Mr. Gardiner and Mr. Bennet were also out most of the day. They were only together during breakfast and dinner, and Elizabeth’s preoccupation increased as her father appeared more troubled, tired, and pale each time.
“Elizabeth,” Mrs. Gardiner said on the morning of the third day, “would you like to pay a visit to Mrs. Crampton later today? I informed her you were visiting, and she invited us for tea. Do you remember Mrs. Crampton? She is such a lovely and kind lady and in great need of company. Her youngest son is recently wed, and she lives alone now.”
Elizabeth knew who the Cramptons were; Mr. Crampton had been a long-time friend and associate of Mr. Gardiner, their first joint venture in trade having brought them success and wealth. Their friendship was cut short by the recent death of the gentleman, an event that pained Mr. Gardiner as he was very fond of his friend. His widow, a meek although gossipy and well-humoured woman, remained a friend of the Gardiners’, and they visited her frequently. Last year, the name of Crampton was elevated by a fortunate wedding of the oldest of her sons to an important young lady whose father was in the service of the King.
“Of course I remember Mrs. Crampton. It will be a pleasure to see her again.”
“Excellent. But be prepared to hear about the entire pulse of London; nothing happens that Mrs. Compton is not aware of, for she is more informed than the morning and evening newspapers.” Elizabeth smiled and, again, felt uneasy. Was it possible that she had news Elizabeth might be interested in?
***
“How lovely to see you again, my dears!” Mrs. Crampton exclaimed with genuine pleasure that made Elizabeth smile. She curtseyed and greeted their hostess warmly while the lady continued. “How kind of you to come and see me. I hope you are in no hurry. Do come in. Miss Bennet, you look lovelier each time I see you. Tell me—how is your family? Oh, just a moment, let me call for tea and refreshments.”
“We thank you for the invitation, Mrs. Crampton. I was telling my aunt how happy I was for the chance of meeting you again,” Elizabeth added as she sat on the couch. A servant entered with an impressive array of sweets, and tea was poured for everyone.
“My son sends me these lovely snippets of chocolate quite frequently, and I cannot resist eating them! They are straight from France, although at times like these, I feel less than patriotic for enjoying them.”
Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardner smiled as Mrs. Crampton took another bite, consumed by her guilt. Then she continued hastily, “I hope you do not mind—my eldest son will stop by shortly with his wife. I believe you have not met her, Miss Bennet. She is such a lovely person—and very handsome. Her grandfather was an earl, you know. But he had six children and not enough fortune for all of them. And her father is a general in his Majesty’s army. Sadly, they were quite penniless until my son Peter married her. But that is life! They formed an attachment two years ago during the Season. It was Peter’s fortune to enter into a titled family and Elinor’s chance to get a handsome husband like my son with quite a nice fortune. God bless my late husband! He was such a smart man—so skilful at making money from nothing. Every time he entered into a business, it was successful. I do not know how he did it; I never asked. Money is not a woman’s concern—except when she does not have any.”
Elizabeth smiled and glanced at her aunt, surprised and amused by the lady’s easiness in discussing delicate family matters. But the closeness between Mrs. Gardiner and Mrs. Crampton seemed to go beyond a casual acquaintance, so the elder lady continued.
“My eldest son and his wife have promised to visit me. Since I am a widow, I fear he feels the need to protect me more than they ought. Little do they know that a lady can entertain herself perfectly well. I expect they wish to be sure I attend a dinner party at the end of the week. To be h
onest, I do not find these large parties as entertaining as I used to. And the loud music can be rather disturbing. But I surely cannot refuse them.”
“I believe it is truly remarkable how close your sons have remained to you, even after they married, Mrs. Crampton. I have always admired the tight connections of your family,” Mrs. Gardiner said with a warm smile.
“True, my dear. I feel I have been blessed. Now come,” she addressed Elizabeth, “have another piece of chocolate and tell me about your family.”
The conversation flew pleasantly for about half an hour until a servant entered announcing the arrival of the party they had been expecting: young Mr. Crampton and his wife. Introductions were made, and Elizabeth was delighted at the friendly manners of the couple and their lack of pretention.
“Mrs. Gardiner, it is quite fortunate that I meet you here today,” said Mrs. Elinor Crampton, “for it would be our pleasure if you could join us for dinner in three days’ time. I know it is short notice, but we just decided. Your invitation awaits you at home.”
The surprise was obvious on Mrs. Gardiner’s face, and she glanced at Elizabeth briefly.
Mr. Peter Crampton hurried to add, “My wife is hosting this dinner, and most of the guests are from her side of the family. Except for my mother and my youngest brother, you will be the only friends of our family that we invited. I would truly appreciate your presence if there is no inconvenience to you. My father’s friendship and partnership with Mr. Gardiner was something I cherished and would like to continue.”
Mrs. Gardiner appeared touched, and a trace of sadness appeared on her handsome face.
“We are honoured by your kind words, sir. And any invitation from you will be gladly accepted.”
“Oh, do not call him ‘sir’; you have known him since he was a toddler,” Mrs. Crampton intervened.
“Miss Bennet, the invitation certainly includes you and your father,” the young Mrs. Crampton added politely.
Meant to Be: A Pride and Prejudice Variation Page 24
