That’s what I was afraid of. Still, I drove around a long time looking for a parking spot before I finally gave up and parked at Riley’s. Ava’s car was in his driveway where his dad usually parked, so I knew she was there. I made the kids promise not to knock at Riley’s door or make ourselves known or anything. Only, once we were settled into our spot on the beach, a thunderstorm came from out of nowhere and it was suddenly pouring.
And as we were running for the car, Jillian said she had to go to the bathroom, right that second. So, with no other choice, we knocked on Riley’s door.
He didn’t exactly look thrilled to see us. He muttered under his breath, “You’re killing me, Jones.”
I sighed, wary to tell him, “I’m so sorry to bother you—really—but Jillian needs to use the restroom.”
“Oh,” he said, opening the door for her, like Of course, by all means, come in.
Jillian padded off to the bathroom, Ava scowling after her from the hallway.
“She has to use the bathroom,” Riley explained.
Ava didn’t stop scowling. Witch.
“We were at the beach, but it started pouring,” Justin told Riley. “Can we use your hot tub?”
“Justin!” I scolded, having warned him time and time again this afternoon not to dare ask.
“Sure, you can use the hot tub,” Riley said, and when Ava shot him a dirty look he said, “What? It’s pouring.”
The kids gleefully piled into the hot tub and it was my cue to politely leave—with the excuse of shopping to do—only I heard Ava whine to Riley that the kids were “always around.”
So, instead of leaving, suddenly I decided to stay. Defiantly, I took off my cover-up.
Normally around Riley (and all of Finn’s friends, actually), I wore my cover-up, always—just cuz. So Riley never saw me in my bathing suit—until now. I watched him look away from Ava, his eyes suddenly glued to me.
“Riley, come get in with us!” the kids shouted.
“Either they go, or I go,” Ava said through gritted teeth.
Still feeling Riley’s eyes on me, I stepped into the hot tub.
“I can’t make them leave,” Riley said.
“Fine. Then I’m going.”
Riley and I watched her storm out of the house, not saying a word. Then silently Riley looked at me again, his eyes all hungry and I-want-you. It had my heart fluttering and my stomach dancing and suddenly, I was feeling as though I wanted to use my Free Pass. Really bad.
I mean, Finn’s words still said he loved me these days—they did—but his eyes seemed to say otherwise. His actions too.
But Riley’s eyes, they had that spark in them now as he gazed at me. That spark I had talked about earlier—the one he had for Ava. And his actions—they seemed to say something, too. I mean, he always gave me what I wanted, always. And now he had chosen me and the kids over Ava. Ava! Who he supposedly adored.
But the way he was looking at me now … whoa.
Tingles ran through my body.
And suddenly I knew. Knew for sure. I really, truly, totally, sincerely had fallen for Riley. It wasn’t just a pathetic crush. Not something I could “get over.” It was real.
I took a deep breath. This was it.
I was going to open my mouth and spill it all out. Actually tell Riley what I was feeling. All of it. Totally. For real. That was my plan. Really. But just then …
Jillian puked in the hot tub.
***
No, I didn’t end up telling Riley how I felt. Grr! Puke just kind of ruined the moment. It usually does.
That night, when I got to work, I went up to Riley’s office to apologize for the mess Jillian made in his hot tub. Then I added, “And sorry, about messing things up for you and Ava. I didn’t mean to do that.”
Riley raised his eyebrows sardonically, “Are you sure about that?”
I opened my mouth, then closed it, turning red.
Riley let me sweat it out a second—just watched me silently as I shriveled up inside—then he let out a breath. “Okay, Jones. I accept your apology. Get back to work.”
I watched him shut the door to his office—him looking all sad and tortured—and I just stood there, frozen, reminding myself how in the hot tub I had planned to actually tell him how I felt. For real. I thought about doing that now, just knocking on his door and letting my feelings spill out—take a chance.
But … right before I actually knocked, I thought maybe I shouldn’t do it like this—get everything out in the open. Not yet. I should wait and talk to Finn first—tell him that it just didn’t seem to be working for us anymore. That maybe we should forget about the Free Pass thing and just plain old see other people for a while. Basically, you know, break up.
The thought made me sad … but not that sad. Not like it would have before this summer. Before this summer, I would have died without Finn. Or felt like I was dying. Now my heart just hurt a little. But I’d get over it. I knew that. My heart was already mending as it was.
But yeah, I figured I should tell Finn my feelings first—before Riley—because Finn was my boyfriend, and I owed him that. But, at least I had a plan now—finally. I’d be proactive. Instead of feeling sick and whiny inside, I’d take action. Finally.
The thought felt good.
But I didn’t feel so good after a second, ‘cause just then, Ava came rounding the corner, heading towards Riley’s office.
“Oh, look who it is,” she said all snide. “You try so hard to steal my boyfriend—you always have. The whole time Riley and I have been in a relationship you tried to act so innocent—like you didn’t notice him watching you. You’d tease him. Pretend like you didn’t have a clue he was watching you and your lame boyfriend snuggle and be all lovey-dovey-gross. You’re pathetic.”
She spewed all that out with venom, then put on a fake smile and waltzed into Riley’s office and clicked the door shut behind her.
I watched her go, ignoring everything she said, as it was just out of anger and bitterness. But from her phrase—“steal my boyfriend”—the word “boyfriend” was stuck in my head. She used it in reference to Riley. Was Riley really her boyfriend now? Did she really, truly actually choose Riley over College Boy—for real this time? Did she and Riley make up after the kids and I left his house this afternoon?
The thought made me feel sick—like, seriously ill. I was sweaty and shivery and had trouble holding things properly—like my serving tray and pen. I was shaking so bad they kept toppling out of my hands.
About an hour later, Ava finally left Riley’s office. She narrowed her eyes at me into tiny slits as she stormed past me in the kitchen, on her way out the back door. But she didn’t say anything to me. Not a word. Which was lucky—for her. ‘Cause I felt ready to rip her hair out.
I waited and waited for Riley to come out of his office, waiting to tell him I was sick and needed to go home, but he never came out.
Finally, after an hour, I dragged myself up to his office, but his door wasn’t shut all the way and I could hear him on the phone.
“Look, I’m not going to lie to her, man,” he said to the person on the other line. “Dude, you’re being a douche, just stop cheating on her—”
Riley turned and saw me standing in the doorway. He blanched and stopped talking in mid-sentence.
His jaw flinching, he stared at me for a long, tense moment, then quickly muttered into the phone, “I have to go.”
He hung up without waiting for a reply.
I swallowed, then let out a breath, but it caught in my throat. “Who—who were you talking to?”
Riley rubbed the back of his neck. “Zoey … ”
His voice sounded pained.
But he didn’t answer my question—which of course was an answer in itself, but no way could I handle it being left like that. No way.
I snatched Riley’s cell off the edge of his desk and, of course, he tried to grab it from me, but too late. I slipped away from him, hitting the call back button.
Riley winced. “Zoey, don’t.”
On the second ring, Finn answered. I clutched my stomach, practically doubling over. Okay, I pretty much knew it would be him—totally knew it in my gut. But still, I so hoped I was wrong.
But, of course, I wasn’t. Of course. My boyfriend had been cheating on me. Duh. I’d basically known since the concert. I just didn’t want to face it.
Broken and numb, without saying a word, I handed the phone back to Riley. He hung it up, his eyes never leaving my face.
Immediately, his cell started ringing again. Riley didn’t even look at it. He shut it down without a glance, still staring into my eyes.
His jaw flinched. “Jones …” He ran his hands through his hair, his eyes looking tortured, full of sympathy.
No. I didn’t want to see that. I couldn’t handle it.
I swallowed, holding back tears. “You should have told me.”
Riley glared up at the ceiling. “He’s my best friend.”
“You should have told me.”
I ran out of his office, though I could hear Riley calling after me.
My plan was, I was going to storm out of the restaurant and drive home and bawl my eyes out. That was my plan.
Only, I had orders up—plates of food sitting at the window, cooked and ready to go to tables. I couldn’t ask a co-worker to do it. I couldn’t even talk.
Gah.
On wobbly legs, I trudged to the kitchen window to pick up the orders, and I even managed to serve them and everything without crying.
Riley was at my side anyway. He took the pitcher of root beer I was filling. “Jones, go home. Talk to Finn.”
I shook my head, my lip trembling.
Riley let out a breath of frustration. “Then go to my office—now.”
He sounded like a boss, all firm. In control. That was good. It made me actually do what he said instead of trying to keep working, ‘cause I knew I’d start bawling any second.
I sat in Riley’s office, folding myself over in his desk chair. Still shaking. So bad. I tried not to think, but having all these thoughts scrambling around in my head anyway. Thoughts that made me want to cry. Finn—who I had once loved so deeply—had cheated on me. More than once. And Riley knew. But he didn’t tell me. I felt hurt and angry and betrayed.
By both of them.
I shoved at the tears in my eyes, moaning.
Riley quietly came into the office only moments later. He watched me trembling for a moment, then ran his hands through his hair, looking as though he wanted to comfort me—kind of bad—but also run away.
“I know I should have told you, Jones—I know that—but you love the guy, and he’s just making a mistake. He loves you. He does. He’s just … messed up right now. His hormones are all—” Riley clamped his jaw shut, shaking his head slightly—like he’d rather rip out his tongue than finish that sentence. “Look, it’s Bianca.”
I narrowed my eyes, ready to fight. “You’re defending him?”
“No. No, Jones. The guy’s being an idiot, he knows that.” Riley ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He kept doing that—screwing with his hair. It was a mess. But a sexy mess.
Silently, Riley watched me, grinding his jaw muscles, seeming to weigh his next words. “Look, Jones, I just don’t want you to do something you’ll regret.”
“Something I’ll regret?”
I sighed.
You know how sometimes you don’t want to face something, so you just … don’t? You just sweep it under the rug and try to forget about it? That’s what I had been doing with Finn—for so long. Ever since the concert—but really, even before the concert. I had known something was up with Finn, that something wasn’t right, but I had just kept sweeping the problem under the rug so I didn’t have to face it or deal with it.
Then tonight I had finally decided to deal with it, once and for all—face it. What I regretted was not doing it before now.
My lips twisted and I jumped to my feet, heading towards the door. This was too painful—like another knife being jabbed into my heart—having Riley stand here, trying to talk me into staying with Finn—Finn who cheated on me multiple times. What could Riley’s motives possibly be? I was pretty sure I knew.
Grr!
“Don’t worry Riley,” I growled, “I’ll stay out of your way. I won’t try to get between you and Ava.”
He blinked, then tilted his head, like he was trying to figure out what I was saying. “Get between us?” He blocked my way as I tried to get past him to the door. “Jones, I broke up with Ava.”
“Oh.” My heart started doing a little flutter thing, beating all happy. “You did? Oh. Well, that’s good.” I breathed—tried to breathe. “With the way things were between you two—it seemed like it would be hard …”
Riley raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to go on. But I didn’t wanna.
Still, he waited, watching me.
“I mean, in case someone else, better for you …”
He tilted his head
“What, you mean if my true love ever comes along?” His lips quirked. “She did, Jones. Just unfortunately, my best friend saw her first.”
My heart slammed against my chest.
But Riley backed away from me, as though just noticing how close he’d gotten. He ran his hands through his hair. “Look,” he muttered, sounding resigned, “you and Finn—you’ve been together a long time. You’ll work it out.”
He didn’t get it.
“Riley, I don’t want to work things out with Finn—I’m over Finn.”
Riley’s lips quirked. “Jones, what are you saying?” He leaned in close again, so close I could feel his heat. His hungry eyes locked on mine. “Are you falling for me, Jones?”
I swallowed, finally going to do it. ‘Fess up. “Riley … I already have.”
He smiled, playfully pinning me against the door. He messed with a lock of my hair. “I’m not going to give you any free passes, Jones.”
“That’s good,” I said, but I needed things to be clear—totally clear—before I fell completely, for real. “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?”
“Of course,” he murmured and finally … he kissed me.
Author Bio:
Melanie Marks was born and raised in California. She is married to a naval nuclear submarine officer and blessed with three amazingly terrific kids.
Melanie has had over fifty short stories published in magazines such as Highlights, Woman’s World, and Teen Magazine as well as in various anthologies. She’s had four children’s books published and one YA novel, The Dating Deal. More YA novels are forthcoming in 2011, such as The Stranger Inside; A Demon’s Kiss; and When Kyle Came Back.
Melanie enjoys reading in the bathtub, writing in bed, and living in a house longer than two years. Visit her website at http://www.byMelanieMarks.com or email her: [email protected].
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