by Anya Nowlan
“Don’t listen to Coach about everything,” Jax said, sounding a tiny bit exasperated. “Besides, all I need to beat those Carnivores and wipe the ice with them is knowing that you’ll be in the stands and that we’re going to go and get married the moment I’m out of there. I couldn’t exactly hold my head up high if I took a beating from them, could I? No, I have plenty of stuff to keep me going strong through that damn game and you can be sure that I won’t need to ‘save my energy’ beforehand.”
She could hear the determination in his voice as his arms squeezed her tighter against him. The slight growl of the bear entered his voice and she nodded mutely, a chill running down her spine. It wasn’t one of fear but one of realization. He was deadly serious. He needed her there.
She couldn’t run.
I’ll have to leave after the game, right away.
The thought made her almost physically ill. She knew how important winning that game and the title was to the Shovelers, and to Jax as well. Despite his success in the league, he didn’t have a national title yet and more than anything else, that would signify that he had made the right choices with his life. That he was his own man, regardless of what his family or parents thought about what he should have done with his life.
She couldn’t cost him that. She wouldn’t.
Biting her lip, Alice voiced to herself that she would be strong and she would go through with her decision right after the game, despite the fact that every fiber of her being protested against leaving his side ever again. But for now… well, she could enjoy the little pocket of joy for a tiny bit longer, right?
Rolling around in his arms to come and face him, she pressed a kiss on his chin and then on his lips, before nipping at his plush lower lip instead of tormenting her own. She slid her hands up his stomach and chest before lacing her fingers in his hair, looking him in the eyes with all the honest affection she felt for him.
“Fine, so we won’t save your energy.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear,” Jax said with a throaty groan, a wide smirk spreading on his lips.
How could she protest against that?
***
Alice’s heart was in her throat as she watched the game from seats right near the ice in a packed, almost overflowing Shifter Grove Ice Arena. The game was in the last third now and practically everybody were out of their seats, screaming and hooting and hollering.
Alice was nestled in a small pocket of Shifter Grove locals, but the vast majority of the crowd was out of towners who had swarmed the little Idaho town like a plague of locusts. Alice got the very distinct feeling that if the Shovelers were going to get close to the national playoffs again next year, they might be interested in having all of the games as away-games, simply to spare Shifter Grove the sudden influx of interest.
Her hands were aching from being rolled into tight fists for so long. Every damn time the puck went from the Shovelers to the Carnivores it caused heart palpitations and a bloom of worry to sprout within her, only to disappear swiftly when the Shovelers got it back. They were even now, 3–3, and while the Shovelers were doing a decent job at offense, the Carnivores were pushing back hard.
Alice’s eyes, of course, were glued to Jax for most of the game. He’d gone from the calm, lumbering, loving man she shared her time with lately to an absolute beast on the ice. He was so ferocious, in fact, that they kept him on the ice for most of the game. He’d really been earning his nickname, Sweeper, and making the Carnivores suffer every time someone dared to go for Heath or Cannon, the Shovelers’ main offensive line.
It was relatively rare for an enforcer to be kept in a game for such a large swath of it, but Jax had beautiful control of his skating and he was more aggressive today than Alice had seen him even during the practices when they were supposed to go all out. The muttering and murmuring of people around her who knew his game seemed to confirm this. Jax was on a roll and the wide smile on his lips told her all she needed to know.
He was loving it. And he was most certainly looking forward to what was supposed to come after.
Alice’s eyes flicked to the timer closest to her, reading the score first and then the remaining minutes. There were only two left and that meant that in two minutes, she would grab her bag, stuffed under her seat as it was, and fight her way through the crowd so she could be the first one out of the arena. There was supposed to be an early bus leaving for Boise and Alice figured she could catch it before Jax was any wiser, disappearing before he had the chance to get out of the dressing rooms regardless of whether the Shovelers won or lost.
You have to do this, she reminded herself for the tenth time that day.
Alice thumbed her phone in her pocket just as the Carnivores were cut off, with Jax stealing the puck and passing it to Cannon. She looked up only to see Cannon dashing through the defense, light on his feet, especially for a man his size, before passing the puck to Heath on the left side, who had taken up position almost without anyone noticing. Alice could feel the excitement thrumming through her, the collective energy and adrenaline of all of the Shovelers fans around her pulsing in her veins.
When Heath faked the first hit and then sent the puck into the net between the goalie’s feet, the crowd lost their minds. Alice screamed out, a wide grin on her lips, throwing her arms up. Someone hugged her from the next seat over and she was pretty sure it was Cannon’s girlfriend Kimberley.
“I think we’ve won,” she whispered excitedly, which Alice could barely make out over the roar of the crowd.
“I guess so,” she answered back, though she could feel the pit of her stomach tying itself into a cold knot.
Along with the Shovelers winning, she would have to lose.
Her blue eyes flicked back to the clock and she willed it to go slower. But it was down to the last ten seconds and as she looked back to the ice, she could see the players counting down as eagerly as all of the Shovelers’ fans were. When the clock struck zero and the horn sounded, signaling the end of the game and the Shifter Grove Shovelers picking up the NSHL national title, the arena fell into mayhem.
The last thing Alice saw before the crowd started surging forward to get closer to the partitions and celebrate with the team was Jax taking off his helmet and grinning wide, looking straight at her. Blinking away tears, she hunched over, grabbing her bag, and then started to fight her way out of the arena, moving directly against the crowd.
She had to go. If Joe didn’t find her in Shifter Grove, he’d leave Jax alone and she could figure out what her next steps were.
It was the hardest thing she’d ever done, but she knew it was the only right thing to do. That didn’t make her heart any less broken, though.
CHAPTER TEN
Jax
Jax knew something was wrong immediately.
It was like the crowd fell away from him along with its cheering faces and screaming voices and all he could focus on was Alice avoiding his gaze. His grip tightened on his hockey stick and his expression flattened, the smile gone.
What the hell’s going on?
He was barely present as Memphis came to him, grabbing him in a tight bear hug, his face beaming. But the other polar bear became immediately more somber as well, seeing Jax’s expression.
“The hell’s the matter? We just won!” Memphis exclaimed, practically yelling because of the hum of the fans, the beating of drums and whistles going off all around them.
“Alice. I think something’s wrong,” Jax said, shaking out of his daze.
Memphis considered him for a moment, his face grim, before nodding and releasing Jax from his grip.
“Well, go find your woman then. The title isn’t goin’ away,” he said, clapping him on the shoulder.
That was exactly the push Jax needed. He hopped into motion, spinning around on the spot and heading straight for the players’ exit while the rest of his team was shaking hands with the Carnivores or celebrating. All he knew was that he’d have to find Alice as soon as he could and underst
and whether the vibe he’d gotten had just been in his head or whether something was actually wrong.
Determination took the place of the happy energy he’d felt only moments ago with the realization that everything he had been fighting for all his life was finally coming together by winning that title. But suddenly, it didn’t seem to matter at all and the only thing that he could think about was Alice and making sure she was okay.
He tossed off his skates and got out of his gear as fast as he could, pulling on the jersey and jeans he’d worn that morning. He pulled on his boots in the dressing room and flew out of the room before anyone else was even close to coming in there. Immediately, his steps took him outside the arena, his bear as frantic as he was.
Jax ran around the side of the building to where the spectator entrances were, rows of disappointed Carnivores fans filing out of the massive building. For a moment, Jax worried that he’d never be able to spot Alice, but then his bear took over.
With his eyes flashing brown, Jax sniffed the air, filtering the scent of thousands upon thousands of people before he caught onto the very distinct trail of Alice’s sweet smell. It was like a beacon, leading him straight to her and he followed it without question, pushing his way through the sea of bodies with the practiced ease of a man who knew how to get what he wanted.
The fans parted before him anyway, recognizing him by his reputation and obviously not wanting to be in his path after the kind of game he’d just played. He’d been on fire and there was no doubt that he’d be right up there when they picked the MVP for that game, but all of that could come later. Right now, he needed to find his girl.
The crowd thinned out past the doors and Alice’s scent got stronger by each step. It was leading him out into the massive parking lot and he broke into a run again, his sense of urgency growing. He ran through the endless rows of parked cars until he picked up two more scents that made his hackles rise.
Much of the crowd was made up of shifters too, but to a predator, people smelled very different depending on the state of mind they were in. The two scents that Jax picked up now made him think of danger and his teeth bared in a snarl.
If anything happens to Alice…
His brow furrowed and when he passed through a seemingly endless line of parked RVs to see the bus stop, he practically roared with anger. Two men were standing close to Alice, who was clutching her suitcase like it was a lifeline, while the men were speaking to her with nothing but malice evident in their faces. One of them shoved her back with a rough hand and Jax saw red.
He shifted before he could even attempt to stop himself and the polar bear was given full control. The large, hulking, deathly fast bear barreled down on the two men, who noticed him thanks to the angered roar, and turned to face him. They shifted as well, turning into two tigers. Jax’s vision seemed to fade at the edges as he focused on the two men threatening his mate and he tore into them with reckless abandon.
At any other time, he would have laughed at the possibility of getting into a fight with not one but two tigers. They were some of the toughest shifters around and were not to be messed with, but right now nothing could have kept Jax from making sure that they got as far away from his mate as they could.
He could feel a hot flash of pain in his side as one of them jumped him, trying to lock its powerful jaws around his neck just when he barreled into the other, pushing him to the ground. Jax rose up before stomping down on the fallen tiger with both paws, ripping and shredding before his teeth found the soft skin of its neck and chest. The tiger yelped when Jax felt the bitter taste of blood in his mouth and the heavy crack of a bone as he captured one of the big cat’s paws between his jaws and chomped down.
Then Jax threw himself on the snow, rolling over so the tiger that’d been on his back had no choice but to let go. Jax was on him before he could put any distance between them, his fury obviously catching the twin tigers off guard. His eyes were ablaze with rage as he caught the tiger by the tail as it tried to escape, pulling him back so he could slash his claws into the sides of the predator, hacking down and feeling tough flesh give in.
Jax got a better hold of the tiger and pushed him over on his side now, ready to maul him. The other tiger was bleeding in the snow, unable to get up properly because of the damage to its leg. Jax was sure nothing could stop him from killing both of the fuckers when Alice’s voice cut through his bloodfury, rooting him to the spot.
“Stop! Jax, stop!” she begged, running to him and standing opposite of him, behind the tiger he was looming over.
Her beautiful eyes were filled with fear and remorse and he could see the streaks the tears had left on her cheeks. That more than anything else seemed to clear his mind a little, his attention on her now rather than the desire to rip the tigers to shreds.
“Wait a second,” she said, catching her breath as she glanced from him to the tigers. “You two realize that he’ll fucking kill you, right?” she asked, her voice shaking. “I don’t care what the hell your issue is with my father, this is not the way to go about it. You either promise me right now that you leave both him and us alone or…”
She trailed off and Jax could see the bluff in her eyes, behind the worry and the guilt. He nodded his head slightly, urging her on.
“Or we’re going to hold you here until the sheriff comes around and throws your oversized asses in jail.”
Now that was another surprise. He’d expected her to say that she’d let him loose on them or something along those lines. Internally, he smiled.
The tiger farthest from Jax shifted back, slowly though on account of his injuries. He was ursing his broken arm. He had a dark look in his green eyes, glaring daggers at both Jax and Alice, but with obvious reluctance, he nodded his head.
“Fine. I’ll tell Joe that the debt’s paid.”
The debt?
Regardless, Jax stepped back and let the other tiger out from under his crushing weight. The feline practically bounced away from him, snarling, though when Jax growled back, he seemed to cool his heels a little and consider his options. One on one, there would be no chance for him against one of the best enforcers in the league.
Jax could hear the murmur of the crowd getting closer. In a minute or two, they’d be there and there would be no more privacy for them. Thankfully, the tigers seemed to realize this as well and while both of them were bleeding and injured, the man and the tiger backed away a few steps before breaking into a run in the opposite direction of the oncoming crowd.
Jax allowed himself a moment of relief before shifting back, feeling the jersey stick to his sweaty skin and the taste of blood still lingering in his mouth. Wordlessly, he grabbed Alice’s hand and her suitcase and pulled her along quickly, looping back into the parking lot. She trotted behind him and he could feel her uncertainty in every move she made and every breath she took.
He didn’t say anything before they were at his truck and he threw her suitcase in the back seat while they both got in. Only when he’d grabbed a bottle of water left in the cup holder and taken a swig to clear out that coppery taste did he finally turn to her, his expression stern but gentle.
“Alice, talk. Right now.”
It didn’t take a genius to understand that she had been trying to leave. The suitcase and the bus stop were clear enough signs of that. He felt his heart throbbing painfully, needing her to explain.
Why the hell was she running from me? And who the fuck were those guys?
“I… I’m so sorry,” she started, and already he felt pain coursing through him.
“That’s not what I need to hear. Where were you going and who were those guys?” he asked firmly.
“I was going back to New Hampshire. I didn’t want to leave before the game ended because you said… well, I didn’t want to leave too early. But I couldn’t stay. Those guys… my dad got into trouble. Real trouble. He owes money to these guys back home. He took out a big loan. I don’t know how much he paid back but they were asking me to get them
six hundred thousand or something would happen to him. When we were in Gallant Falls, my dad called me and confirmed it.”
She quieted, looking down at her hands. Slowly, Jax’s shoulders relaxed.
“I would have given you the money,” he said bitterly.
“I know. That’s why I needed to leave.”
Jax looked up, turning her gently by the chin so she would face him.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I knew you would have given me the money if I’d asked. I didn’t want that to be… to be us. There’s no way of knowing if those guys would ever stop and if the first thing we did together would be paying off some crazies because of my dad… Jax, I couldn’t live with myself then and I couldn’t do it to you. I wouldn’t. That’s why I was leaving. If they couldn’t find me, they’d leave you alone and come after me and my dad and we could figure it out from there.”
She bit her lower lip and it was the sweetest little thing. Jax cracked a slight smile, letting out a tense breath. So he hadn’t been wrong about her. All this time when he’d felt more and more sure that he’d found the woman for him, there’d been a nagging worry at the back of his mind that he was only going through with it to appease his father. But now, understanding how upset he was at the possibility that she would leave and he’d be left without her made it all make sense.
He hadn’t been wrong. And she was most definitely his.
There were tears in her eyes again when he leaned forward to kiss her, taking his time with it. She responded, though he could feel her uncertainty, her worry. When he pulled back, he was smiling, cupping her chin with both of his big palms.
“You should have told me, Alice. We would have figured out a way out of this. I promise you that much. You shouldn’t have run.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” she whispered, her lip quivering.
