“You’re not destroying us. You’re confused. Discovering your sexuality can be traumatic, especially when you’ve been in denial.”
“I haven’t been in denial. I just…I assumed I was straight, and that the things I felt were normal for straight men. Checking out other guy’s butts in the locker room. Wanting to touch my guy friends the way women touch their girlfriends, even though it was taboo. It was only a few months ago I realized that most straight men aren’t like that.”
“You were right about one thing. You are a fucking idiot.”
“Yes, but I’m your fucking idiot.” Rick lay down with his head on the pillow.
He reclined by Rick’s side. “I need to know how you feel about me.”
“I love you.”
“You mean as a friend.”
“Jordy, we are way beyond friends. You swallowed my cum. I had my fingers in your ass. Men don’t do that with their friends.”
“So what are we, then?”
“We’re lovers.”
He nodded. He could live with that. He was still pissed, but he accepted that Rick was doing his best in a stressful situation. “Don’t ever fucking lie to me again, or I will pummel your ass. And I don’t mean in a good way.”
“I didn’t lie, exactly,” Rick said.
“I can take it if you want to be with women, and if you don’t want a long-distance relationship. But not if you pretend that what happened between us yesterday wasn’t real. It wasn’t just sex. We made love. I know that’s a girly thing to say, but it’s true.”
Rick cupped his cheek, hand soft and warm. His brown puppy dog eyes turned soft and liquid. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“It’s too early to have this conversation. You’re a shithead. I’m going back to sleep.”
***
The next time Jordan woke, Rick’s eyes were on him from the other side of the bed. Rick smiled.
“How long have you been awake?” he asked.
“A while.”
“Then what are you doing way over there?” He drew Rick close, cradling Rick’s head on his chest.
“I feel awful,” Rick said. “When I woke up earlier and heard you crying—”
“Forget about it.”
“I should have told you what I was hoping for this weekend. I should have given you a choice.”
“I could have turned you down. I’m exactly where I want to be.”
Rick looked up at him, his expression soft and pleading. Jordan leaned down and kissed him. Contrition and absolution flowed between them, cleansing them both. He didn’t want to be mad at Rick anymore. Holding Rick in his arms this way spread warmth and contentment through his chest.
The kiss slowed, and Rick pulled away. “It’s after eight. Want to take a shower together?”
His cock gave a thumbs-up to that idea.
Chapter 6
Rick stood under the hot water, letting it relax the knots in his muscles from sleeping on the couch. The pain served him right.
Jordan picked up the bar of soap and spread the suds over Rick’s chest and arms. “Beautiful,” Jordan said. “I can’t believe I get to touch you like this.”
He kissed him. “You’re the beautiful one. Blond-haired, blue-eyed Adonis. Like out of a painting.”
Jordan smiled. He finished cleansing Rick, paying special attention to his balls and his crack. The sensual strokes lit a soft glow in his veins.
He took the soap and ran it over Jordan’s arms, tracing the curve of his biceps. Next came shoulders, clavicle, pecs, abs. The feel of them tugged his desire. He stroked each pink nipple until it stiffened under his touch and Jordan shuddered.
Kneeling, he washed Jordan’s muscled legs. Excitement writhed in his stomach. He soaped up Jordan’s balls and his penis, and then rinsed them clean.
He kissed the tip of Jordan’s cock, sweet with just a hint of saltiness at the slit. Curiosity drove him on, and he spiraled his tongue around the head. The soft feel of it sent a tickle of pleasure through his belly. Jordan let out a deep moan, and the supple flesh turned rigid.
He stood and ran his lips along Jordan’s neck and ear. “Turn around.”
Wordlessly, Jordan turned to face the marble. Rick washed Jordan’s back, hands gliding over ropes of muscle. He cleansed his ass, from the hard glutes to the tender hole. He splashed water over him until the last trace of suds was gone. Then, he knelt.
Hands squeezing Jordan’s ass cheeks, he parted them so the pucker of his entrance was visible. His tongue tentatively flicked over it, waking Jordan’s musky scent. He had fantasized about this. Cyn had turned him down, but he wanted Jordan more.
He circled the hole with his tongue. Jordan groaned, then took in a sharp breath. Rick pressed his tongue inside, relishing the texture, as smooth as jelly. He couldn’t break through the tight ring of muscle, but he pushed as far as he could go, and Jordan writhed against him.
Humbled to be allowed this intimacy, he licked and stroked, flicking his tongue inside, parting Jordan’s body. His lover’s murmurs encouraged him.
The water cooled. He stood and turned off the faucet. “To be continued,” he whispered in Jordan’s ear.
They dried each other off, then walked hand in hand to the bed. They lay on top of the sheets. Jordan tongued Rick’s ear. “Want me to suck you?”
His balls tightened, but it wasn’t Jordan’s mouth he wanted. “I’ve got something else in mind. Lie on your stomach.”
Jordan obeyed. He took out the bottle of lube. He coated his cock, then spread the remainder on Jordan’s crack.
Jordan inhaled. “Rick—”
“I won’t go inside, I promise.” He caressed Jordan’s backside. “Pull your knees underneath you.”
Jordan lay crouched, and Rick positioned himself behind. He slid his erection between Jordan’s cheeks, squeezing them together until they provided the perfect friction. Pleasure rippled through him. “How’s that feel?”
“Nice. Just…be careful.”
He angled himself so he could massage Jordan’s hole without slipping inside. Tension built in his cock—he loved having Jordy bent over for him. He sucked in his breath, aching to possess him utterly. The throbbing in his cock told him he was on the brink. Yet the restraint of holding back his desire to enter Jordan was making it impossible for him to relax enough to let go.
He flopped onto his back.
“What’s wrong?”
“Temptation’s too strong.”
Jordan nodded. He rose and headed into the bathroom. He came back with a wet washcloth, cleaning the lube from Rick’s cock and his own ass. Dropping the washcloth on the floor, he lay next to him.
***
On his back, Jordan looked over at Rick, at his soft, handsome features lit by the morning sun.
Rick reclined on his arm and stroked Jordan’s cheek. “So beautiful. I want to fuck you, you know.”
His stomach clenched. Rick had shown him how pleasurable anal play could be, but he wasn’t sure he was ready.
Rick kissed him deeply. “I don’t want you losing your virginity to the first guy in college who’s nice to you. With that face and that body, you’ll have every gay man in New Jersey after you. I want to make sure your virgin ass gets the love and respect it deserves.”
He laughed. “You’re full of shit.”
“I’m serious!” Rick sat up and leaned against the headboard. “Okay, I admit, this is a major fantasy of mine. But it’s a fantasy because I want you, not the other way around.”
“You wanted Cyn that way, too.”
“No, I wanted you, and Cyn was a substitute.”
His throat tightened, and tears threatened to overwhelm him. He breathed deeply until he regained control.
Rick groaned. “I am so screwed.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m falling in love with you, you queer.”
“Seriously, you need to work on your seduction technique.”
“Tell me you’re willing to t
ry,” Rick said. “If you hate it, we’ll stop.”
“You’re missing my point!”
“No, you’re missing mine. You can’t tell me I don’t mean more to you than some guy you’ll date a couple of times. I’ll take care of you, Jordy. You can count on me forever, even if we’re not a couple.”
He drew his knees up to his chest. “I’ll think about it.”
***
Rick drew him close and kissed him. “Sorry I freaked you out.”
“I guess I should be flattered you’re obsessed with my ass. But Rick, it’s kind of a big deal.”
“I know. It’s just…that’s what I fantasize about.” He nuzzled Jordan’s ear, suckling his neck and shoulder. “Tell me about your fantasies.”
Jordan stroked Rick’s cheek. “This is basically it. You, me, a cabin in the woods…”
“I want details.”
Jordan looked down, his fingers teasing the hair on Rick’s chest. “We’re sitting together, watching the game or something. You say that since I’m gay, that must mean I like to suck cock, and do I want to suck your cock? You whip it out—”
“That’s so cheesy, except it’s totally something I would do.”
Jordan smiled. “I go down on you, and we sixty-nine each other for a while. Then…” Jordan turned silent, and his face flushed.
“Jordy, half an hour ago, I had my tongue in your ass. You can tell me anything.”
“You bend me over, and we don’t have any lube, so you use spit. It hurts at first, but then it starts to feel good. You tell me how much you like it, how happy I make you.”
He stroked Jordan’s cheek, honored that he’d shared that confidence with him.
“I’ll be so gentle. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’m not afraid of it hurting. I’m afraid I’ll like it.”
“It’s probably a good thing if you like it.”
“No, because it means I’m a bottom,” Jordan said.
“Do you ever fantasize about being on top?”
“I imagine it. I wonder what it would be like, but it doesn’t get me off.”
“So why do you care if you’re a bottom?”
“Being gay already means I’m a second-class citizen,” Jordan said. “Being a bottom…to some people’s thinking, that makes me submissive. Like I have less power in the relationship.”
He ran his finger along Jordan’s back. “Do you think I have more power?”
“Obviously.” Jordan glared. “I’m in love with you. You don’t feel the same about me.”
“I’m not less attached to you than you are to me. It doesn’t matter what words you use to describe it—you’re part of me. Making you happy gives me joy.”
“I wouldn’t pretend I didn’t care for you, like you did to me.”
Pain gripped his heart. “You would if you thought it would make me happier in the long run.”
“I’d never think dishonesty would make you happier.”
“Maybe. But that’s a difference in how we think, not how we feel for each other. I may have been wrong, but I did what I thought was best for you.”
Jordan frowned, but the caress of Rick’s thumb on his lips drew a smile. Rick covered Jordan’s mouth with slow, tender kisses. “How do you want me to make you come?”
A grin spread over Jordan’s face. “I want to get on top, like you did to me. I want to rub against your ass, see how it feels to be on that side of the fantasy.”
His insides shrank. He bit his lip.
A cloud darkened Jordan’s features. “Never mind.”
He lifted Jordan’s chin and met his eyes. “Stop assuming that if I hesitate, the answer is no. This is new to me. The idea of being that vulnerable…”
Jordan rose and went into the kitchen. He got out a mixing bowl and a box of pancake mix.
He walked up behind Jordan. “Come back to bed.”
“The only way I’ll come back to bed is if you bend over it.”
He swallowed. “Okay.”
Jordan leaned his head toward the bed. “Then go.”
He started forward. A hard slap made his ass clench.
“Faster, bitch.”
Shame heated his face. If he wanted Jordan to bottom for him, then he would have to do this. Assume that vulnerable posture, to show he didn’t regard himself as the dominant one in the relationship.
When they reached the bed, Jordan grabbed him and grazed his neck with his teeth. He traced Rick’s ear with his tongue. “You know what to do.”
A tight band gripped his stomach. He would be at Jordan’s mercy.
Closing his eyes against the fear, he bent at the waist and rested with his elbows on the bed. Jordan leaned over him and clamped his mouth on Rick’s shoulder. Jordan’s erection pressed against his ass. His body wanted to flee, but he breathed until the impulse passed.
Jordan guided his arms out in front of him and held his hands flat on the bed. He grabbed the lube and slicked it on Rick’s crack. The slippery fingers, so gentle and loving, warred with a sense of violation. Words like “no homo” and “exit only” ping-ponged around in his head. So much bullshit was attached to this part of a man’s anatomy—men were afraid to enjoy their own bodies, even with women. He wouldn’t buy into that. He exhaled, relaxed his muscles, and forced conscious thought from his mind. Instead, he focused on Jordan’s touch.
Jordan positioned his cock and squeezed Rick’s cheeks together. “Good, babe.”
That hard, thick rod rubbed against him. The friction heated his skin. Once Jordan got into a rhythm, he leaned over and rained kisses on Rick’s back. The tenderness of the gesture coiled a knot in his belly. He wanted to stroke his penis but it was crushed into the mattress. With no avenue for relief, the ache grew.
“Jordy!”
“Your ass is so hot. I could fuck you all day.”
He concentrated on the sensation of Jordan’s cock massaging his hole. It was decadent and terrifying. He didn’t want to like it, but he did—a lot. The idea of allowing himself to be penetrated that way floated around his mind. He’d never fantasized about it, but he would now. He couldn’t really consider it yet. Wasn’t willing to take that big a step.
I like girls, he told himself, even while the feel of Jordan’s erection left him aching for release. He pictured himself fucking Jordan, his cock sinking deep inside Jordan’s lithe, muscular body. He would be so gentle with him, like Jordy was being now.
The strokes grew faster. “I’m close, babe,” Jordy said. “Can I come on you?”
“Yeah.” He squeezed out the word through clenched teeth.
Jordan cried out, and hot cum spurted onto his back. He wanted Jordy to rub it into his skin so his lover’s pleasure would be a part of him. Jordan’s pleasure was more important than his own. He’d never felt that way with Cynthia. He’d felt guilty about not going down on her, but not enough to actually do it. He didn’t like the taste of her. But licking Jordan’s cock in the shower, the salty sweetness of him…he’d never tire of that.
Jordan picked up the cold washcloth from the floor and wiped the cum off his back. Jordan lay on the bed, his cock spent and glistening.
He crawled up beside him. “Good?”
“Your ass is perfect. Hard muscle, with just enough padding. I could pound it all day.” Jordan kissed him. “Want me to suck you off?”
Excitement rose in his stomach. He closed his eyes and moaned in assent.
***
Jordan drew Rick into an embrace, cupping his ass. He reclined on one elbow and ran his lips along Rick’s ear, his shoulder, his chest, taking special care with the red points of his nipples. Alternating between them, he licked and sucked, grazing them with his teeth until Rick’s cock jerked.
He trailed his fingers along Rick’s erection. “Can you control yourself?”
The wary expression in Rick’s eyes told him Rick wanted to say yes but the real answer was no.
He rifled through the nightstand drawer full of sex toys
. He found a couple of cock rings. One was clear and knobbed, the other purple with a built-in vibrator. He grinned. The last thing Rick needed was a vibrator.
He picked up the clear cock ring and worked it down Rick’s shaft until it was seated just above the balls.
“What’s that for?” Rick asked.
“Staying power. You didn’t know that when you bought it?”
“It was in a sale bin. It didn’t come with instructions.”
He circled the head of Rick’s penis with his fingertip. “This is just foreplay. I don’t want you to come.”
“Okay.” Worry crossed Rick’s features.
He tongued the salty tip, dipping into the slit. Rick moaned.
“You have no self-control.”
“You take it away.” Rick feathered his hands through Jordan’s hair.
He covered the head with his mouth and applied the slightest suction. He pulled back and mentally counted to ten. Then, he sucked the tip again.
“Jordy, you’re killing me.”
“You need to learn self-control. I can’t make you my bitch unless you’ve got self-control.” He took the whole shaft into his mouth in a quick motion. Rick cried out.
Jordan laughed. “You’re so easy.”
“Suck me. Please.”
He slid up the bed and faced him. “Suck me first.”
Hurt and confusion twisted Rick’s features.
He grinned and kissed him. “Kidding. I wouldn’t ask you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. But damn it, I don’t want to be just a fuck buddy who gets you off.” He gently massaged Rick’s bulging erection. “Can we take our time? Please?”
“I’ll try.”
He slid down the bed and swirled his tongue over the head, then spiraled down. Slowly, he took in the length. The tip pressed against his soft palate. He smiled at the sound of Rick’s gasp.
With rhythmic strokes of lips and tongue, he teased his lover, squeezing the cock ring whenever Rick got too close to the edge. Rick moaned, pumping his hips, until finally Jordan pulled off the cock ring and took Rick as deeply as he could. Rick’s cum shot into his mouth and he quickly swallowed to keep from gagging. He now understood the sore jaw phenomenon, but the joy of giving Rick pleasure made it worth it.
Seducing Jordan: A Second Chances Novella Page 5
