Too bad Janet was in an especially bad mood when he picked her up. Despite his recent vow to himself and the fact that everything about her drove him mad, faced with her current level of attitude, he wondered if he was crazy. At least he did until he parked the car next to the helicopter pad that oversaw the whole valley.
“A helicopter?” The sound of her voice—happy and filled with wonder made something inside of him ease.
Michael had his doubts as they walked to the small office, and he noticed that the green helicopter with an army eagle on the side looked like it’d probably flown in Vietnam. The door dinged as they walked in and he saw the small sign above a counter that had different packages for length of rides.
An older-looking man appeared with a brown pilot cap on his head. Michael wondered if he might have flown with the Wright Brothers. “I suspect you’re Joe’s boy?” The man looked Michael up and down.
Michael nodded and put his hand out. “Hi.”
“Earl.” The man pumped his hand and turned to Janet. “Well, I’d know a Snow if I was dropped behind enemy lines.” He grinned and winked at Janet. “Which one do you belong to?”
Michael imagined she was used to being identified as a Snow.
Janet grinned. “I’m John’s daughter.”
He snapped. “Of course.” He looked between them. “Do you want the honeymoon tour? It’s good and long, and you get to see the whole valley.”
It was disconcerting that Michael could feel himself getting red. “Um, no.”
Janet let out a little laugh. “Oh, we’re not married.”
“Humph.” Earl squinted, and Michael noticed how one eye seemed to squint and the other one felt like it was bugging out at him.
He flinched back from the uneven gaze.
Earl let out a laugh. “It’s freaky, isn’t it?”
The way this man was acting took Michael off guard. “Excuse me?”
“This eye pops out a bit when I squint.” He pointed to his eye and did it again.
Janet laughed.
Earl did it again. “See. It’s from an injury during the war.” He let out a roaring laugh.
For some strange reason they all began to laugh.
Janet took Michael’s hand.
Her touch calmed him.
“Are you okay to pilot?” Janet asked Earl.
Earl pounded on the counter. “C’mon now, it’s just a scratch. And just because I’m an old war pilot doesn’t mean I don’t know how to give a quality tour of Snow Valley.” He pointed at Michael. “Get the honeymoon tour. I promise you won’t regret it.”
A shiver went through Michael. The only other time in his life he remembered this strange feeling was at the state fair when the palm reader had told him he would marry a fairytale character. Could he call it a coincidence that her last name was Snow? He blinked, pulled out his wallet, and handed over his card. “Okay, the honeymoon tour.”
***
They wore matching helmets with a sound microphone connecting them to Earl.
Earl’s helicopter had sturdy doors and Michael felt relatively safe as Earl gave them the safety precautions list and made sure they had their seatbelts on. As they lifted off, the wind surged around them, and he leaned closer to Janet, pulling her into his side. The beauty of the mountains, of the way they surrounded the valley like protecting soldiers—fierce, determined to keep all safe within their walls—inspired him. Isn’t that what he wanted? To keep her safe? In this moment, the idea that she’d had cancer scared him to the core. He’d been angry she hadn’t told him, but now he was more than angry with her. He was furiously terrified that something could rip her away from him. Just like his mother.
She turned to look at him. Her face glowed with wonder and joy. She laughed, a deep, rich sound. “Thank you.”
Her happiness overshadowed the fear within him, and he leaned closer.
Their helmets clunked.
It made Janet laugh even louder.
He couldn’t help himself. He laughed, too, feeling like an idiot.
“Did ya try to kiss her with the helmet on?” Earl let out a loud, roaring laugh. “You kids would be surprised at how much that happens. It’s strict policy to keep these helmets on but a lot of you young kids get caught up in the moment.”
Janet grinned at him. “I guess I’m off limits.”
Michael wanted to kiss her and couldn’t ignore her challenge. Literally throwing caution to the wind, he took his helmet off and then reached for hers.
“Hey!” Earl roared. “Put those back on!”
The sound of her laughing as her lips met his was the only sound he could hear as their ‘lip memory’ kicked in. He laughed with her, keeping his lips locked on hers.
“Stop that now!” Earl yelled.
“What are you smiling about?” Janet asked him.
“Lip memory.”
She grinned and kissed him again. “I like lip memory.”
After Earl threatened to take them back, Michael finally gave Janet her helmet and then put his own back on.
“I don’t know what you were thinking, but your little stunt could get you into big trouble!” Earl continued. “Back during the war we didn’t have the luxury of helmets and that’s how I got me my trick eye.”
Michael and Janet tried to stifle their laughter.
“Sorry, Earl.” Michael conceded.
Earl shook his finger. “You kids have to be careful.”
Michael stared at Janet, and the world seemed to stand still. “Sir, I’m pretty sure it’s too late for that.”
***
The rest of the ride both of them stared out at the valley. Earl took them close to the tree line and then down toward the Hamilton ranch.
Michael saw his father’s truck, and Dad and Roy both turned to wave up at them. A tiny surge of something like pride fell over him. His father had built the ranch from the ground floor. The herds of cows being branded looked fat and healthy. Michael had no idea what a working ranch entailed financially, but, from working that summer with Janet’s father, he knew it was a ton of physical labor. He waved back, feeling suddenly like everything in his life was different or could be different with Janet by his side.
“Take us by the Snow place.” He called to the pilot.
Earl turned the helicopter, easily navigating from the Hamilton property down to the vast Snow property. “That’ll cost you extra.”
Janet laughed.
“I’m sure it will.” Michael grinned.
When the helicopter cascaded over the hill and to the springs, the look on Janet’s face almost broke his heart. He squeezed her hand, knowing it must be a different kind of death to watch part of what her family had worked so hard to build be sold off in order to pay for her medical treatment.
They got back to the helicopter pad, and Earl gave them another round of chastising. Michael pulled open his wallet and gave him a hundred dollar bill. This seemed to make Earl forget all about the transgression. “Well, it was sure nice to take the two of you up.” He winked at Michael. “Maybe I’ll get to give you a real honeymoon tour sometime.”
Michael rolled his eyes, and Janet’s cheeks burned red. “Thanks, Earl.”
They got back to the truck, and Janet stopped him before he could start it up. “I still haven’t gotten an answer about why you ended it with the cheerleader.”
Michael leaned back into the truck, turning to face her. The pit in his stomach deepened. “You haven’t answered my question.”
She grinned. “What question?”
His heart hammered inside his chest, and he had to control the fresh anger that burned within him. “Were you going to ever tell me that you had cancer?”
The stunned look on her face made him even more determined to get an answer. Traitorous tears filled his eyes. “Were you even going to call me when you thought you were dying?”
Chapter 15
Janet now understood how accurate the term ‘being side blinded’ was. All the hap
piness and joy and playfulness that she’d been feeling were stripped away as she looked into his eyes. She could hardly get a breath. She felt her hands start to tremble. She couldn’t do this. Opening the mustang door, she bolted out and took off down the road in the kind of sprint that she’d used when Lacy was a toddler and she’d been trying to keep her from getting hit by a car. That’s exactly how she felt, like terminal danger was heading her way.
He didn’t even call her name. He just appeared in front of her. “Wait!”
She tried to get around him, but he took her by the biceps, moving in her path every way she turned.
His face held so much anger. The trembling in his hands unhinged her. “Why didn’t you tell me? Explain why you wouldn’t tell me something like that. Did you think I couldn’t handle it?”
The idea that he needed an explanation. The idea that he could be mad at her for not calling him. The very idea that he had the gall to stand here and act like he had the right to accuse her of something made something inside of her snap. Before she could stop herself, all the pain from him cutting her off after his mother’s death surged like a volcano erupting, and she slapped him hard across the face. “You’re the one that wouldn’t call me, remember?” She put up her hand to slap him, again, the anger from the past renewed and fresh like a ripped off scab.
He grabbed her hand. “Stop slapping me!”
She sucked in a breath and tried to control herself. She didn’t want to aggravate her lung condition and cause a flare up. She didn’t need that at the moment. “Do you remember when I came out to your mother’s funeral and stayed by your side? Do you remember that?”
His eyes widened.
Before this moment Janet hadn’t wanted to do this—dredge up the past. She’d wanted to let it go. Have fun. Let the past be the past. But now…now Michael Hamilton stood in front of her acting like he had some right to know about her cancer. That would not stand. “You wouldn’t call, you wouldn’t email. You shut me out! You shut me out!” She broke off, the memory of the breakdown that she’d had her junior year of high school coming back with ferocity. “I loved you, and you just left!”
The way his eyes looked suddenly on fire and his hands gripped her shoulders, pulled her forward, and crushed her to him ignited something inside of her—passion, pain, everything from the past two days and from that time when they were just kids exploded in her. As fiercely as he’d pulled her to him, he pushed her back. “I loved you.”
Janet wasn’t sure if it was him shaking or her own shaking that made her feel unsteady, but she pushed further away from him. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She shook her head. “I wanted you so many times, but you never called me.”
He jerked back. “I told you, I wanted to see you. I wanted to come get you. I told you that.”
“But you didn’t.” Her voice was sharp.
“You married him!” He roared.
She stumbled back and then stabilized herself. Everything inside of her went calm. She sucked in a long breath, focusing on counting to five. The same thing she’d been taught to do in therapy when the cancer had progressed to a point that if she got upset it would only inflame her condition. One, two, three, four, five. She blew it out.
Michael ran a hand through his hair. His eyes were still a little wild. He frowned. “What are you doing?”
“Breathing.” She blew the air out. One, two, three.
He took her by the shoulders, searching her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Janet.”
She continued to focus on her breathing. “The past is the past.” She wouldn’t let her health be compromised because of this emotional outburst. She pulled in another breath.
A tiny smile crept to his lips. Janet felt self-conscious. “What?”
His grin widened. “Marry me.”
“What?” She quit exhaling.
“Marry me.”
The intensity of his eyes told her he was serious. Terror ripped through her. The world became a blur. She pushed past him, running off the road and down the side of the hill into the forest.
“Janet! Wait!”
His voice didn’t deter her. She moved faster, wishing her body was the trained machine it had once been in high school. Wishing it was ten years ago and things were different. But the fact remained that it wasn’t ten years ago. Her body would never be the thing it used to be. The doctor had said she might never get back the strength she had once had. For the most part, she was grateful. She was grateful to be alive at all. But sometimes she was angry, too. Things would never be what they had been. There was no way that she could marry him. That was insane! Did he have any idea how many times she’d wished for just that? Sometimes late at night when she’d been sick all she could see was his face. It angered her that Michael Hamilton could be in town for two days and have her wishing for all of those things again. Things he didn’t realize she couldn’t have anymore.
“Janet.” Warm arms surrounded her, pulling her into him.
Her body gave in and relaxed against him. Her breathing was already out of whack, and she was coughing from the exertion. She hated this. She hated to be weak in front of him. To not be strong like she had been at sixteen.
He cradled her against him. “Shh. Shh.”
The coughing continued, making her rely on him even more for support. Tears burned down her cheeks. She hadn’t felt this betrayed and embarrassed since she’d caught Kurt cheating on her in their home. Anxiety filled her. Her breathing wouldn’t calm. “I can’t marry you.” She sobbed.
Michael turned her to face him, and she saw tears on his face, too. He gently tugged her closer, taking a long breath. “Breathe slow, it’s okay.”
She focused on long, deep breaths. Breathing through the pain is what the therapist used to tell her when they had sessions about dealing with the pain of cancer eating your body. The cancer had eaten her lung tissue, deteriorating it so she could never be a runner again. She was lucky to even be a walker.
He kept doing the long, slow breathing. Then he started counting.
Suddenly, Janet thought of the Lamaze coach she and Kurt had used when they’d had Lacy. She remembered the way the dread-locked hippy lady that never wore a bra had sucked in and counted to four before exhaling. She thought of how the lady had freaked her out, and during Lacy’s labor, she’d been more concerned with breathing right then actually pushing out the baby. It had made her and Kurt laugh. She continued her breathing as she sputtered out a laugh at the memory.
Michael stopped his exaggerated breathing, watching her face. He blinked and smiled. “That’s right. You’re okay.” He did the in for four and out for four.
This made the ridiculousness of this entire episode funny again. She flashed back to the Lamaze coach and laughed again.
Michael stopped and nodded. “That’s right, Janet. Just laugh, sweetie. We’ll get through this.”
Hearing him say those words ‘we’ll get through this’ made her instantly want to cry, again. “You should have been there when Lacy was born.”
Michael looked stunned.
She focused on the breathing and finally found her airway expanding. Her breath moved in and out more easily. “I know it’s stupid…but I wanted you that day.”
Michael gently rubbed small circles into her back. “I know I missed out on your life.”
After a few moments, and a million thoughts making her mind swirl, she pulled away from him, getting her center back. If there was anything a cancer patient knew, it was how to go from crisis to okay in seconds. She moved to go up the mountain, wondering if she could make to the top. She didn’t even stop to wonder what he might be thinking. “Please, take me home.”
Michael didn’t take her arm and escort up the hill. Instead, he bent, swept her off her feet easily, and ran up the hill as if she weighed nothing.
All the exertion from the emotional and physical break down had taken its toll on her. “Please.” She breathed out. “Just take me home.”
He got her in the car and reclined her back, buckling her in.
This was how her life was, and she hated it. If she pushed too hard, she paid. It was like the universe had to rebalance the exertion with complete rest, or she would end up back in the hospital. “Home.” She breathed out.
Janet knew the speed at which Michael drove was much too fast. He softly covered her hand with his. “Your parents are out of town, so you’re coming back to the ranch with me unless you think you need to go to the hospital.”
She did not want to be at the hospital. The memories of almost dying there were too fresh, but she didn’t know if she could handle being with Michael at the ranch. If there had ever been a time she needed her parents or Kevin and Molly, it was now. But they weren’t here. She relented. Logically, she knew she might need someone to help her. “The ranch.”
Chapter 16
The sun burned brightly through the guest room window. Michael stood in the doorway and watched her sleep. It had been almost fourteen hours since he’d gotten her back to the ranch. His father had helped him get her situated, and then they’d called the young Doc Taggart. Michael had explained how they had argued and how she’d run down that hill. Doc assured him that the inflammation was a normal side effect of patients who had once had a terminal lung condition. The good doctor had come out to the ranch a few hours ago to check on her and brought some medicine for the inflammation. They had woken her and administered the medicine, making her take some puffs on an inhaler and then giving her some water. She’d been almost completely out of it, but she’d taken the medicine.
Self-recrimination burned inside him. He’d thought he was doing the right thing by cutting her out of his life all those years ago. It amazed him that he’d actually thought it was better for her not to see the misery he was going through after his mother died. He’d fooled himself into believing that he would bring her down.
He blinked and squeezed his eyes shut for a second, wiping at the moisture that gathered. He wasn’t a crier. Never had been. He’d learned early on that his father being in the military meant one thing—people in his life would come and go. You got over it. But seeing Janet laying there, he realized it had been wrong to assume she would recover. It was wrong to think he’d recovered. Truth be told, he’d never quit loving her. Now, he couldn’t stand what he’d done. If he hadn’t shut her out, things could have been so different. Everything would be different.
Summer in Snow Valley (Snow Valley Romance Anthologies Book 2) Page 40
