It does not take a cynic to figure out that the reason the electric companies supplied 50- and 75-watt sizes was to replace the 40- and 60-watt size with more hearty electricity eaters. Nor does it take an advanced mathematician to calculate that both new sizes were exactly 20 percent bigger than their predecessors, another indication that the new sizes were more likely to be the brainchild of an accountant rather than a response to customer preference.
Eventually, the electricity industry realized that it had won the war and that consumers had no intention of reverting to gas lanterns. Free light bulbs were taken away for the same reason that trading stamps were yanked from service stations during the gas crisis—why give away something for nothing when it doesn't increase usage of your product?
Without benefit of subsidization by the electric utilities industry, former beneficiaries of the free bulbs went back to the retail counter and bought the bulbs that the rest of the country had always shown a preference for, the 40- and 60-watt bulbs.
Although a few manufacturers still make the 50-watt bulb, it has just about disappeared. General Electric, for example, has dropped it, but retains the 75-watt bulb, which sells no-where near as much as the old reliables.
Why do women open their mouths when applying mascara?
More people were contacted to help answer this Imponder-able than any other. We asked cosmeticians; we asked cosmetics companies; we asked plastic surgeons; we asked women off the street; and we asked women on the street. We had some very intelligent people standing in front of mirrors opening their mouths and pretending to apply mascara, looking to see if their eye muscles moved. Everybody seemed to have the answer. It just wasn't the same answer.
There were staunch supporters of six different theories:
The “Edith-Ann” Theory
Remember Lily Tomlin's desperately serious little girl in the huge rocking chair? Whenever confronted with a difficult task, Edith-Ann would grit her face, open her mouth, and stick out her tongue. Many children follow the same pattern when trying to concentrate. The Edith-Ann theory proposes that women open their mouths when applying mascara for the same purpose—to better concentrate on the delicate balancing act of working around the eye. Of course this theory doesn't explain why mouths remain closed during other delicate operations—like swabbing ears, putting on hair rollers, or painting toenails.
The “I Didn't Want to Do It” Theory
Proponents of this theory claim that opening the mouth is merely a reflex action, totally involuntary. This theory would explain the phenomenon but has the flaw not only of having no evidence to support it, but being proven untrue by medical research.
The “No More Blinking” Theory
Blinking is the enemy of mascara application, so any trick to avoid blinking would come in handy. Many women supported this theory but had a difficult time sustaining the argument when, upon demand, they were unable to stop blinking when their mouths were open.
The “Stupid Imponderable” Theory
Although no one denied the fact that most women open their mouths when applying mascara, some people held the opinion that the act performed no useful function and that trying to research this Imponderable was an incredible waste of time. There is much merit to this theory, but it is obviously incorrect, since if it were correct, this Imponderable would not appear in the book.
The “Mellow-Out” Theory
The largest number of sources subscribed to this theory. Opening the mouth is a relaxation response, they argued. Unlike larger muscles in the arms and legs, facial muscles are not very autonomous—they tend to work in groups. Opening the mouth seems to relax the whole face, making it easier for the woman to endure the laborious process of mascara application. The “Mellow-Out” theory totally contradicts…
The “Tighten Up” Theory
This theory postulates that opening the mouth tightens muscles and puts the skin on the eyelids on a stretch, making it easier to apply mascara for much the same reason that men make jaw contortions (often including opening the mouth) to make shaving the neck easier. Using the same principle as their arch-rival Mellow-Out adherents, Tighten Ups believe that opening the mouth tightens all the facial muscles. By stretching the skin slightly, there is an increase of exposure on the eyelid, making application of mascara that much easier.
Imponderables comes down on the side of the Tighten Up theory, not only because we are fond of the song bearing the same name, but because we found two eminent plastic surgeons whose livelihood depends upon knowing the effect of opening the mouth on the eye. Both Dr. Gerald Imber, of New York City, and Dr. Tom Flashman, of Beverly Hills, California, told us the same story. When they are contemplating blepharoplasty (eyelid surgery), particularly surgery on the lower lid, the doctors have their patients open their mouths. This tenses the lower lid and even pulls the lids a little more apart from each other. Opening the mouth and stretching the skin on the eyelid often reveals that more or less skin can be removed than originally contemplated. As the decision about precisely how much skin to cut off during blepharoplasty can make the difference between a cosmetically successful or lousy “lid job,” having their patients perform this ritual is a minor but essential diagnostic tool.
In researching this Imponderable, we perused many books on makeup. Several bestsellers, such as Mary Kay Guide to Beauty and Carol Jackson's Color Me Beautiful, included advice to open the mouth when applying mascara, but not one said why. Not one of the cosmeticians we spoke to at department stores knew the correct answer to this question, yet they all recommended the procedure.
Women know how to apply mascara properly even if they can't explain why their method works. Is it instinct? Is there an underground educational network? Fodder for another Imponderable, perhaps.
Help!
When we started Imponderables, we still had a few friends. But that was before we tirelessly plumbed the inner recesses of their beings, searching for the elusive mysteries of life that were making their stay on earth a living hell.
When we started Imponderables, we burned with the desire to solve all of the major problems of mankind. Now that we have accomplished this goal within these very pages, we are mentally and spiritually depleted, an empty shell, a shadow of our former selves. Still, we see it as our mission in life, our noble albatross, to relieve our readers of the questions that have plagued their lives.
All right. We'll admit it. We're running out of ideas and we want to do Imponderables 2. Won't you help us? Send along your Imponderable, the mystery that has always eluded you. If we use your contribution, we'll send you the next edition of our book, which will contain an effusive acknowledgment of your help. If you think you have the answer to your Imponderable, send that too (with documentation, if possible) along with your
name and address and phone number. We'd also love to hear your comments about this edition of Imponderables.
Send those Imponderables and comments to:
Imponderables
Box 24815
Los Angeles, California 90024
Acknowledgments
Imponderables was so much fun to do that at times I forgot that writing a book is supposed to be a traumatic experience. For this I have to thank my collaborators, my friends and family, and the many people who served as sources for this book.
Most of all, I owe thanks to my agent, Jim Trupin, who proved that it is possible, contrary to popular belief, to be a terrific agent and a mensch simultaneously. I owe Rick Kott almost as much for sending me to Jim. Nick Bakalar's enthusiasm made this book possible. My editor, Eunice Riedel, understood what Imponderables was about from the onset and sensitively helped shape the book to meet that concept. Kas Schwan was more than my alter ego. She didn't just illustrate the Imponderables, she enhanced them.
Friends and family did a lot more than offer moral support, although they supplied plenty of that. They were my guinea pigs, testing ideas for Imponderables. If more than one in ten knew the correct answer to a propose
d Imponderable, I threw it out. If more than one in three thought a proposed Imponderable idea was wretched, I threw it out. And most important, friends provided some of the best ideas for Imponderables. A special tribute to Susan Sherman, who came up with several terrific Imponderables when the book was just starting to bubble (fester?) in my mind. Heartfelt thanks to all of my friends who helped in so many ways: Mike Barson; Eric Berg; Jean Behrend; Brenda Berkman; Leon Bernhardt; Josephine Bishop; Sharon Bishop; Jon Blees; the whole Popular Culture department at Bowling Green State University; Pat Browne; Ray Browne; Linda Diamond; Fred Feldman; Gilda Feldman; Phil Feldman; Ray Feldman; Seth Freeman; Elizabeth Frenchman; Michele Gallery; Chris Geist; Jean Geist; Bea Gordon; Ken Gordon; Murray Gordon; Sheila Hennes; Uday Ivatury; Jo Ann Manera; Mike Marsden; Jeff McQuain; Jack Nachbar; Tom O'Brien; Pat O'Conner; Merrill Perlman; Larry Prussin; Dan Richland; Brian Rose; Leslie Rugg; Tom Rugg; Ellen Sargent; Karen Stoddard; Kat Stranger; Ed Swanson; Lorraine Vachon; Dennis Whelan; Heide Whelan; and Jon White.
There will be more thank yous in the succeeding paragraphs than in a Stevie Wonder Grammy acceptance speech, but so be it. If ever there was a book that relied on the kindness of strangers for its source material, this is it. Vice-presidents of major corporations must have better things to do than answer phone queries about why women open their mouths while applying mascara, but a surprising number of such people, with awfully responsible sounding titles, supplied answers for this book with openness, grace, and humor.
Although many other people were kind enough to supply information, the following sources furnished material that led directly to Imponderables published in this book: Guy Abruzzo; American Petroleum Institute; American Society for Testing and Materials; Herb Ames; Jim Andes, Cannon Mills; The Audubon Society; Rajat Basu; Eric Berg; Ginny Blair, Popcorn Institute; Judy Blumberg; William M. Borchard; Kyle Brenner, Baskin-Robbins; Rebecca Briggs, People Express; California Olive Industry; Helen Castle, Kellogg's; Champagne News and Information Bureau; Edith Chan; Molly A. Chillinsky, Coin Laundry Association; Tom Collins, Mobil Corporation; Bill Cooper, Department of Transportation; Jack Cooper, Domino Sugar; Jud Crane.
Dairylea Cooperative; Charles Dale, Federal Highway Administration; Dr. Mike D'Asaro; Mary DeBourbon; Robert Deitsch; Claire Dillie; Prof. Robert J. Dinkin; Phil Dunne, New York Telephone; Eastman Kodak Co.; Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times; Tom Elefante, Loew's Theaters; Charles Fay; Steve Feinberg; Dr. Fred Feldman; Frank Finnegan, Dellwood Foods; Thomas J. Flaherty, National Live Stock and Meat Board; Dr. Tom Flashman; Florsheim Shoes; Forster Manufacturing; Bob Goldberg, White Castle; Dr. Robert Goldberg, Center for Packaging Education; Laurie Gourley, Burger King; Bonny Graham, Wrigley Co.; Michael Guerin, City of Pasadena; Dr. Irwin Harris; Jim Hodges, American Meat Institute; Bruce Houston; Michael Howard; Mary E. Hox, Life Savers, Inc.; Dr. Gerald Imber; International Airline Passengers Association; James H. Jensen, General Electric.
W. Drew Kastner, NBC-TV; Diane Kemmelman; Walter Koob, United States Postal Service; Harry Korad, Society of Soft Drink Technologists; V. Allan Krejci, Hormel & Co.; Gene Krop, United Airlines; Monroe Lanzet, Max Factor; all the terrific people at Lathem Time Recorder Co. (Bill and Carol Lathem, Marla Paradise, and especially John Evans, who drew the technical illustration provided in the chapter on synchronized clocks); Lever Brothers; Ron Levington; Jim Lew; Denny Lynch, Wendy's; Steve Mayer, Walter Reade; Erin L. McCallon, Morrison, Inc.; Jeff McQuain; Dean Meadors, Mary Kay Cosmetics; Linda Meilan; Karen Montalto, Johnson & Johnson Products; Bob Montgomery, Nabisco Brands; Rita Morgan, Perdue Farms.
Howard Nash, Cunningham and Walsh; National Shoe Retailers Association; National Weather Service; Neutrogena; New York Police Department; Nissan Motor Corporation, USA; Tom O'Brien; Dr. George F. Odland; Al O'Leary, Department of Sanitation, New York; Otis Elevator; Tony Pappas, New York Telephone; Person & Covey; Christine Pines, Best Foods; Wilbur Reese, Los Angeles County School System; Peggy Rogers, Best Foods; William Rusch, Holly Farms; Jim Ryan; John Ryan; Carole Shulman, Professional Skaters Guild; Simplex Time; Bill Smith, Federal Highway Administration; Pat M. Snyder, Arby's; Soap and Detergent Association; Jim Stacy, American Medical Association; Dan Stern; Bob Stewart, Bob Stewart Productions; Phyllis Straughn, General Mills.
George Thomas, Mutual Radio Network; Steven Touchband, Faichney USA; Alex Trebek; Audrey Trumbold, National Toothpick Holder's Collectors' Society; Unocal; Jane Venters, Kraft, Inc.; James Warren, Maine Sardine Council; Charles A. Winans, National Association of Concessionaires; Christen Wyatt, California Pistachio Commission; Jane Yates, Johnson & Johnson.
For every person acknowledged here, there was another person who asked that his or her statements be taken off the record. A few simply didn't want publicity, but they were out-numbered by those fearing possible reprisals by the companies for which they work. I never viewed Imponderables as a muckraking enterprise, but it didn't take long to realize that there is more than a little fear in corporate America if some of these topics were seen as threatening. It encourages me nevertheless that so many sources were willing to talk candidly to a writer calling out of the blue, even when they could extract no credit or glory for their efforts. This book couldn't have been written without them.
About the Author
David Feldman is the bestselling author of the Imponderables™ series — Why Do Clocks Run Clockwise?, When Do Fish Sleep?, Why Do Dogs Have Wet Noses?, Do Penguins Have Knees?, How Does Aspirin Find a Headache?, and Do Elephants Jump? — as well as Who Put the Butter in Butterfly? and How to Win at Just About Everything. He has a master’s degree in popular culture from Bowling Green State University in Ohio and consults and lectures on the media. He lives in New York City.
By David Feldman
Imponderables
Imponderables
Why Do Clocks Run Clockwise?
When Do Fish Sleep?
Why Do Dogs Have Wet Noses?
Do Penguins Have Knees?
When Did Wild Poodles Roam the Earth?
How Does Aspirin Find a Headache?
What are Hyenas Laughing at, Anyway?
How Do Astronauts Scratch an Itch?
Non-Imponderables
How to Win at Just About Everything
Who Put the Butter in Butterfly?
Credits
Cover illustration by Kas Schwan
Cover design by John Lewis
“Imponderables” is a trademark of David Feldman.
IMPONDERABLES. Copyright © 1986, 1987 by David Feldman. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of PerfectBoundTM.
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eBook Info
Title:Imponderables
Creator:David Feldman
Publisher:HarperCollins
Contributor:David Feldman
Date:1987
Source:Hardcopy
Language:en-us
Language:en
Relation:None
Rights:Copyright © 1986, 1987 by David Feldman
Identifier:0-06-075476-1
IMPONDERABLES
The Solution to the Mysteries of Everyday Life
Imponderables Page 22
