“So arrogant,” Kai mumbles.
I turn to her. “Sorry, did you say something?” I ask, cupping my hand around my ear.
Kai forces a fake smile, appearing as though she might be grinding her jaw. “I didn’t say anything,” she says, exasperated.
Noa stands up from the table and follows me toward the kitchen. “I’m so sorry, dude. I know I just threw you into this. Do you want to shadow someone tonight?”
“Nah,” I tell him. “I’ll be good.”
“You seem pretty ticked.”
I press my lips together, unsure how to respond to his statement. On the one hand, he was nice enough to offer me a well-paying job. On the other, this wasn’t on my agenda after serving in the military for eight years. “It’s a job. It’s money. I’ll be honest with you, though. I don’t want to end up screwing you over or anything, but I’m going to keep my eyes open for a nine to five. Nights are going to be hard with Aya, but until I find something else, I appreciate the work, and I’ll keep my thoughts to myself.”
Once we enter the kitchen, Noa leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. “I knew it wouldn’t be a permanent thing for you, but I needed the help, and you were looking for work. I didn’t tell you exactly what the job entailed because I figured you wouldn’t walk in, knowing what the job was.”
“Probably not,” I say, shaking my head. “So just run me through everything quickly.”
He pushes off the wall and walks ahead to one corner of the kitchen. “Here’s one of the registers. There’s also one in each section. The system is pretty simple, especially since our menu is small. I’ll just show you with the order from my VIP table. You type in your table number, the drinks, and orders. The system will do the rest for you. The chefs usually take about ten minutes to prepare food, and the bartender takes around five minutes for a drink order larger than three or four.”
“Got it,” I tell him.
“Oh, and one last thing.”
I close my eyes because I recall the mention of a mid-evening intermission show. “What’s that?”
“At eight, we play ‘Baby Got Back’ by Sir Mix-a-lot. Feel free to improvise if you don’t know the words. The chicks love it, and it breaks up the night a bit.”
“You’re kidding ...” I grumble.
Noa finishes punching in the order and turns to face me. “I believe it was 2008, and we were trapped in a mild sandstorm in the middle of Afghanistan. I was pissy; so was everyone else for that matter, but not Denver … not you. What were you doing?” He’s questioning me like I don’t remember exactly what I was doing.
“I was cheering all you pussies up,” I tell him.
“Singing what?”
“Please tell me I was not your inspiration for this establishment.”
“Your buns are hot and shit, but nah, I read an article, and one thing led to another, but the song—that inspiration was from you.”
“Aww,” I coo. That’s so adorable.
“Don’t get your panties all in a twist. It’s a good song,” he says.
“Damn straight.”
“So … Kai was giving you a lingering look,” he says while looking at the slips hanging from the heating bar.
“It’s just the shorts,” I tell him.
“Nah, she was looking at you earlier while you and Aya were at the pool too.”
“She seems uptight.”
“There’s a reason for that,” Noa says. “A legitimate reason. She’s a good person, even though we fight more than we talk.”
“Interesting. What’s her reason for being uptight?”
“Not my story to tell, bro, but she’s single. Word on the street—or from her sister—she’s as pure as they come … if you get my drift.”
I’m not sure I’d believe that. With her confidence mixed with her looks, I would bet she could have any guy wrapped around her finger with just a blink of her eyes. “We’ll see where life takes us, I guess,” I tell him.
“Life should take you to her house.” The girl I automatically nicknamed “No.” I think I might have better chances elsewhere. Not that I wouldn’t try, but I think that would be a dead-end.
“Thanks for the advice. I’m going to go see if any other tables in my section have been seated.”
“No problem, dude. Showtime is in thirty minutes.”
Fuck.
Chapter Eight
Kai
I’m not sure how much longer I can give Lea a dirty look before she’ll acknowledge it, but I’m completely uncomfortable sitting here while she talks with her friends. I’ve worked with these people longer than she has, but I keep to myself for the most part. Lea has taken on the role of a socialite for most of our lives. I don’t feel like I have a whole lot in common with these people, I guess, even though we’re all in our twenties, single except Lea, and have lived here in Maui our whole lives. I’m sure we have things in common, but they want to live it up and have fun, and I’ve never taken an interest in that part of being twenty-something because I’ve been living the life of a single parent instead.
“Kai, have you seen anything interesting tonight?” Lea asks. “You’ve been staring at the chalkboard menu on the other side of the restaurant for the last twenty minutes.”
“Nope. Nothing interesting,” I tell her.
Noa sits back down at the table, wraps his arm around Lea’s neck, and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek. Seeing them in this setting, minus the whole, mostly naked men part, is giving me a different view of their relationship. I’ll just pretend like I didn’t see the whole bicker war when we first arrived, especially since I know how Lea is. I don’t think I’ve ever gone a day without having an argument with her, so I can’t hold those scenes against Noa. Wow … now I’m defending Noa, owner of this man-whore bar and grill. What is my life coming to?
“Your friend, Denver, seems nice,” Lea tells Noa. “He’s really down to earth. I’m kind of surprised he agreed to work here, actually.”
“He didn’t agree as much as I kind of tricked him, but hey, it all worked out,” he tells her.
“Guess so. What’s his story other than he has a daughter and just moved over here?” I would have assumed Noa had told Lea more about Denver, but she seems to know just about as much as I do. Plus, I’m sure if she knew of an eligible single man moving to our island, she’d make mention of him to me.
“He’s just a good guy. What else can I say?” Noa says.
“Hmm,” Lea pipes up. “Interesting.”
I surely don’t find anything interesting in that. “Well, I’d like to make a toast while we wait for our food,” I stand up with my second, strong Rump Punch and hold it in the air.
I watch Lea slump into her seat a little, and a part of me breaks inside. Is this what I’ve done to her? I’ve become this figure in her life who mortifies her? It wasn’t what I intended. Never.
I close my eyes and pull in some vinegary-scented air, letting it out slowly through pursed lips. “Despite not knowing that we were celebrating Lea and Noa’s engagement tonight until just a few hours ago, I still have something prepared to say because I’ve been thinking about it for years, before Lea was even in the mindset of settling down, and before she knew Noa for that matter.” I lower my arm a bit, feeling the weight of the heavy glass in my hand. “Lea is bright, happy … a full-of-life kind of person that matches who I am somewhere deep inside my quiet soul. She loves to love and has a heart of gold. She’s fierce and knows what she wants. That’s why I didn’t blink when she called me shrieking about Noa asking her to marry him.” I settle my eyes on Lea, noticing she’s pulled herself back up to a normal sitting position. “I knew if she agreed to marry a man, he must be the right guy for her.”
“Kai,” Lea tries to interrupt me.
“No, I’m not done,” I tell her.
“When Noa asked me if he could propose to Lea, I knew everything was going to be perfect. It’s what I’ve always wanted for her. It’s what I’ve hop
ed for. She is the closest person in my life, and I’m willing to share her with a standup guy who went through the motions of tradition. Though I wasn’t completely sold on his Buns, I appreciate the balls it took to come talk to me.” I re-lift my glass. “To Lea and Noa. Cheers.”
Lea’s biting down on her lip as tears shroud her eyes, and she mouths the words, “Thank you,” to me.
I nod my head and push a smile into the corners of my lips, trying not to lose any of my own tears. I feel like I didn’t let Mom and Dad down. I think they’d be proud right now—well, maybe prouder if we were in a different restaurant, but still.
“See, Lea, I told you she wasn’t as tough as she acts,” Noa says with a quick wink in my direction.
I give him the stink eye and return to my seat. As I slide back onto the cool cushion, I notice Denver looking over at our table, specifically at me. He’s standing in front of a table full of women ogling him, but he’s giving me a thumbs-up.
He heard all of that? My face ignites with heat, feeling exposed at the moment.
He returns his attention to the table and begins to take their order just as the lights dim slowly, as if someone were turning a dial.
The country music that was playing softly in the background goes mute, and the sound of a record scratch echoes through the restaurant.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats for our mid-evening entertainment, featuring our hot and spicy man buns.” I don’t know who was speaking through the microphone or loudspeaker, but the man has the deepest voice I’ve ever heard.
“Den, you’re up,” Noa yells over to him. “Lani has a mic for you at the bar.”
The other waiters join a confused-looking Denver up in front of the bar where he’s taking ahold of the microphone. I can’t even imagine what’s about to go down in here, but for some reason, I haven’t been this excited for as long as I can remember.
I
Like
Big
Buns
And
I cannot
Lie
The song starts off uncomfortably slower than it should, and I’m looking around at everyone, eager to see what happens next, assuming they haven’t seen this “show” before.
You other ladies …
The lyrics are different. How would Denver know what to sing? Not that it matters because the other three waiters are each in the process of picking out a random woman. My stomach falls into the pit of my stomach like a lead weight. Denver watches the other guys for a minute before realizing he needs to pick out a woman too. He doesn’t seem flustered or put off by this “show,” and it’s probably because he knows exactly what he’s about to do.
Make me just as uncomfortable as he probably is.
Can’t deny, that when a man walks in …
The other guys stop singing, and Denver is walking toward me as if this was preplanned, which I can’t imagine, seeing as he’s been working for approximately two hours now.
I want to hide under the table. I might be imagining a spotlight … or maybe I’m just seeing things, but there’s a mostly naked man walking toward me, and I’m definitely not imagining that.
I have tunnel vision, but I hear laughter from around me, and now I’m almost positive this is a setup. If it is, I’m the only one who wasn’t in on it.
Denver reaches for me, so I shove my hands under my legs and shake my head furiously. I’m thinking he wasn’t just a Marine, but maybe a male stripper somewhere because he knows exactly what he’s doing. The smile and the look in his eyes—stop it, stop it!
I can’t breathe.
I need air.
His hand is on my arm.
Dear Denver, I’m a virgin. Yes, I’m twenty-eight years old, and I’m probably the only twenty-eight-year-old virgin in Maui, but please, for the love of God, stop doing whatever you are doing to me because I might become de-virgined if I look at that cocky-as-hell grin any longer.
Fucking Rump Punch.
I’m not sure if my feet are moving on their own accord or if I’m somehow miraculously floating toward the center of the restaurant, but all I can feel is Denver’s warm grip wrapped around my bare arm.
I wasn’t cold before, but now I feel like the warmth is completely necessary and appreciated.
“What are you doing?” I mutter through a rough whisper.
“What I was told to do,” he replies. “Want me to pick another woman from the crowd?”
“No,” I say without thinking, and without realizing what I said or what it means. Does it mean anything? Did I just agree to him doing whatever he’s planning to do to me in front of all these people?
I might pass out.
When a man walks in with a pretty witty face
And two round things in your face
Denver matches the rhythm of the instrumental music to “Baby Got Back.” He does it quite perfectly, though, in tune and all. Then the record scratches again. This time, Denver looks around, and there’s confusion on his face–like this wasn’t part of the plan.
I nervously glance over at my table, watching Noa and Lea snicker and laugh. Lea has been a prankster my entire life, and it appears she’s found her match.
The music for “I’ll Make Love to You” by Boyz II Men rises in volume. I’d recognize the song anywhere, with or without words, and Lea knows it.
Is this payback for something I did to her? I don’t understand.
I squint in her direction, but she’s laughing so hard she has tears in her eyes.
Close those eyes, make your wish
Holy crap, Denver can sing. What can’t this man do? Not that I know what he can do, but so far he seems to do everything, pretty damn well.
And blow out the candle's light.
The lights dim even more, and my pulse speeds up to what must be a heart-attack range.
Because tonight is just your time,
We need to celebrate …
He pauses and points the microphone over to Noa and Lea:
Noa and Lea all through the night!
He turns back toward me and falls to one knee. This must be why women scream at a strip club. Not that I’ve known from personal experience, but I’ve seen movies and always wondered why they acted so absurd just because a man is trying to woo them.
Now I get it.
Pour some wine, light a fire
Kai, your wish is my desire
I will submit to your dreams
He takes my hand and places a soft kiss on my knuckles. I am utterly lost in this crazy and ridiculous moment of show.
I will do everything, Kai, you need only ask.
The lights go out, and Denver stands up and pulls me into his chest. “I’m so sorry. They made me do it. I think I owe you big time,” he whispers. “But … for the record, I kind of enjoyed it.”
“Well, I—I think I need to go home,” I mutter.
Chapter Nine
Denver
They wanted a show tonight, and poor Kai was volunteered to be my guinea pig. It might have been more for the enjoyment of her sister and Noa, but after her snippiness this morning, it was a little payback, which she thoroughly enjoyed … I think.
The night skated by, and the simplicity of the menu and drink specials made my transition seamless. Oddly, I got used to walking around nearly naked and almost forgot about my lack of clothing by the end of the night.
“Dude, you sorta killed it tonight,” Noa says. “How were your tips?”
“I thought you said some of the guys were making up to a few hundred a night.” I respond.
“Yeah, some of the guys do. Why?”
“Well, I made a grand. Does some of it maybe go to Lani?”
“No shit,” Noa says, wide-eyed. “No, Lani is taken care of. That’s all yours. I don’t think anyone has made that much in one night. Clearly, you’ve got a gift.” Noa chuckles and wiggles his eyebrows. “Oh, and we don’t have shows like that every night. It was a welcoming haze for you, champ.” He gives m
e a wink.
“Nice.” I shake my head, figuring and hoping the showcase was a one-time thing. “Well, thanks again for the gig. When’s my next shift?”
“Tomorrow night. Same time.”
“Cool, I just have to secure a babysitter for Aya.”
“Dude, my mom has you covered. Trust me. She’s in her glory tonight.” I feel weird imposing on an older woman like that. I’m sure she has better things to be doing than watching after a little girl every night. “I’ll talk to her about it privately first, though, okay?”
“Okay, but don’t push her. I can find someone else if she can’t.”
“No problem. Oh, and your house will be empty by noon tomorrow. My buddy called me earlier and said the current renters are to be out by nine. Cleaners will be there by nine-thirty, and you should be good to move in tomorrow afternoon.”
“Perfect. Thank you so much for helping me out with that … and with the job too. While I’d prefer to be wearing pants, I can’t deny the pay is great.”
“Right?” Noa says, holding his hand out to shake.
“Thanks, dude. Really. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Now dressed and able to walk outside, I head through the dark restaurant, noticing Lea with her head down on the table. She appears to be sleeping, or passed out.
I stop for a minute, wondering if she’s okay, but Noa pipes up. “Don’t worry about her. She warned me she was going to sleep if we didn’t leave in the next few minutes.”
I chuckle and continue for the door. I noticed Kai left in between the time my little entertainment ended and when I returned from my short break in the back room. I would have suggested she sober up a little first, and by the looks of Lea, asking her if Kai is okay doesn’t look feasible, either. I don’t know a thing about either of them, but here I am, worried about everyone else like usual.
I step outside into the damp, ocean-mist-filled air and quickly remember Noa drove me here because I don’t have my truck yet. What was I thinking? I’m thinking too much has happened in one day for me to keep track of where the hell I even am at the moment.
Man Buns Page 7
