“What was tonight?”
“I just hit my head,” I argue.
“You scratched your head and swallowed water.”
“Way to underplay the trauma I just endured.”
“Way to be dramatic,” he continues.
“Tonight, Denver. The date you asked me on.”
“I asked you on a date? Didn’t you ask me on a date?”
“I’m about to say never mind,” I tell him.
“I’ll pick you up at six.”
“We’ll miss the sunset,” I tell him.
“What time do you get off work?”
“Four. I can be ready here by four-thirty. I have a change of clothes.”
“Fine. I’m looking forward to our date that you asked me on,” he says.
I roll my eyes and push myself up to get back to work, but he jumps up first and helps me up the rest of the way. “Thank you, Denver.”
“You know ... is there a chance you’ve gone on dates but were confused about them and thought they were just long walks on the beach, or something?” He grins and pulls his sunglasses off his head, covering his sun-filled, turquoise eyes.
“Oh—maybe I was confused. In fact, maybe I got married and didn’t realize it. I could even have a handful of kids too. Why is it so hard to keep up with?” I jest.
“Trust me, it’s hard to figure out how it all happens sometimes.”
Our conversation goes from a joke to ... is he serious … very quickly, and he leaves on that odd note.
Chapter Thirteen
Denver
I’m not sure Kai realizes I’ve been living at the hotel this past week, but the topic hasn’t come up in our passing one-liners, or earlier today when she fell for me—ha—at least I think I’m funny.
“Why are you leaving?” Aya asks. “I thought you didn’t have to work tonight.”
I have spent every moment with Aya in the last week, as I intend to do while I’m not working this summer. Over the last few years, I’ve had to balance my level of guilt between working and trying to be human and have a tiny bit of a social life, but the balance hasn’t worked out so well. I’ve put Aya ahead of everything in my life, but I think it’s okay to take a little bit of time for myself, though I’ll probably feel guilty all night. “I need to do adult stuff tonight, baby. Tomorrow, it’s you and me all day though, I promise, so you better think of something fun for us to do.”
“Fine,” she groans.
“Mrs. Hale, are you sure this is okay with you?”
“Denver, I know what you’re doing tonight, and I fully support your desire to be a happy man.”
I offer her a small smile and place my hand on her shoulder to kiss her on the cheek. Mrs. Hale never fails to treat me like family, and I try to make sure she knows I recognize that. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for letting me share your precious Aya. She makes me feel young again.”
I know Aya enjoys her time with Mrs. Hale, but I’m willing to bet she might be getting bored spending so much time with an older woman who enjoys knitting and TV. Therefore, the guilt holds me hostage.
“I love you, Aya. Go to bed when you’re supposed to,” I tell her, pointing at her to highlight my seriousness.
She rolls her eyes at me like she’s been doing far too often lately, but I’ve learned to ignore it, hoping it’ll fade away, rather than carrying on into her tween years. One can hope.
I head out the door and downstairs to the lobby where I’m meeting Kai. It’s empty at the moment, and I don’t see her anywhere, so I take a seat on the bench in front of the lobby’s koi pond.
Maybe I shouldn’t be dating so soon after arriving here. I’m not even settled with a place to live yet, and I’m diving in headfirst with a woman I fell for way too quickly. Maybe I’m like a bat out of hell after leaving the base. Options were limited, and most women were married where I was. I go back and forth in a debate with myself on remaining single and focusing solely on Aya, but she’s begging for a different kind of life and really wants a mother figure around, so I’m stuck figuring out what’s best for both of us while trying not to hurt either of us. It’s hard shit.
“You have clothes on,” I hear.
Running through the reasons Kai would say something like that, I realize every time I’ve seen her, I’ve been shirtless at the pool, or basically naked at work. The only other time I was fully dressed, she was too drunk to drive. I stand up to greet the Hawaiian beauty, mesmerized by everything about her and trying to find the right words to just respond. “I thought the occasion was appropriate, plus I heard it gets cold at the peak.”
“It’s a good thing you heard that. Wouldn’t want you running around a volcano in your underwear.”
“Your jokes could use a little work,” I tell her.
“Your appreciation for humor could also use a little work,” she fires back.
“Touché.”
She’s had her arms tangled around her body, seeming uncomfortable, but as the jokes commence, she begins to relax. She unwinds her arms, revealing a skin-tight pair of torn jeans and an off-the-shoulder floral top. “You look beautiful, as always.” I pull a hibiscus flower out from behind me and place it gently into her hair. She doesn’t say anything but bites down on her bottom lip as her cheeks burn with a reddish tint. I place my hand on her back. “Ready?”
I lead Kai to my truck that I had detailed this morning, hoping tonight would work out as I planned. “Do you know your way to the trail?” she asks.
“Sure do. You can sit back and relax while you accompany me on this trip I’ve been excited for since I started researching Maui a few months back.”
Kai is very quiet and lost in thought as we make our way up the twisting roads that elevate us higher and higher to the volcano’s peak. “It’s a beautiful ride,” she says.
“I’d look over at you and agree, but I’m trying to keep us away from the ledge. It looks a bit unforgiving,” I laugh.
“Yeah, don’t look at me until we reach the top,” she says.
“Is that why you’ve been quiet?”
“A passenger should always be quiet when riding up Mt. Haleakala or heading down the road to Hana.”
“What’s Hana?” I ask.
“A scarier ride but more beautiful sights. I need to have a lot more faith in your driving skills before we make that type of commitment,” she tells me.
Now I just want to go just for the sake of seeing what the hell she’s talking about. “I’ve never experienced a scary drive in this country, but you’ve got me curious now.”
“Shh,” she says.
It’s been over an hour of driving up the mountain. While I read that it could take up to ninety minutes, I didn’t think that would be the case, but the speed limit isn’t exactly optional if you want to live, so it makes sense now.
Twenty more minutes of quiet pass, mixed with the hushed breeze floating in through the window, when I finally see signs for sightseeing and parking. Kai sighs with what sounds like relief when I pull into the parking lot. “You’re a good driver. I’ll give you that,” she says.
“Eh, it was nothing.” I feel a little drunk from all the winding roads, but I’m sure I’ll be fine once we start walking around. “Have you been up here a lot?”
“No, actually. I went up with my parents on a few occasions, but since they—it’s been about twelve years or so.” I want to tell her to finish her first sentence, but I won’t push. I know there’s more to her story, and I’m curious and intrigued, but prying isn’t my forte.
She hops out of the truck before I have a chance to make my way around to her, so I meet her in the middle and take her hand without a thought. It feels like a natural gesture when I’m with her, and she doesn’t fight me on it, which feels even better.
“I know you had to think about tonight, but I’m kind of glad you didn’t play the whole ‘hard-to-get’ game with me. I hate when women do that.”
“Women play hard to get with yo
u?”
I’m digging a hole, and it’s probably one I’ll have a hard time climbing out of afterward. “Maybe I worded that wrong. I’m kind of an upfront, no filter type of guy, and it’s nice finding that kind of reciprocation in a person.”
“Ah,” she says coyly, as if she’s calling my bluff.
“So, I know you have a sister who you like to watch after. I know you lifeguard and teach hula dancing lessons, and you don’t like the bar scene much. Can I try to place other pieces of your puzzle together, and then you can tell me if I’m hot or cold?”
“Do you do that a lot?” she asks.
“What? Try to figure people out without hearing it from their mouths? Yes. It’s fun.”
“I do that, but not with people I intend to spend time with. More like with guests at the hotel. I make up their stories when the hours get too long.”
“Well, that helps me a lot actually. I’ll add creative to your list of features.”
“Okay, smarty, what else?” Kai flips her long hair off her shoulders and twists it around, bringing it to one side. We walk in the direction the arrows are pointing us in, and I feel a little lost in thought as I try to piece her together.
“You’re a strong woman who doesn’t like to follow others around … a slight feminist, but accepting of equality. You put effort into your appearance but don’t put a lot of thought into what others might think about you. I don’t think you intend to spend your life as a lifeguard, but you haven’t figured out how to take the path you’re trying to find yet, and with your sister suddenly switching gears in life, you’re a bit lonely. You’ve lived here on this island your whole life, and you’re not sure if this is your last stop, or if life is suddenly going to shift ninety-degrees and take you in a completely different direction, but the unknown scares you.” I exhale loudly. “Phew. How was that?”
She’s looking at me, a bit dazed and glassy-eyed. “How did you do that?”
“I spent four years recruiting new Marines, and part of my job was determining a good fit before a person even opened their mouth. I guess I found a hidden talent in reading people a little. I’m not always right, but I pride myself on being close.”
“I’m impressed,” she says, looking down and kicking a small pebble. “You left out one part, though.”
“What’s that?” For some reason, I have a bad feeling about the part she says I left out. I gather it’s the reason for what physically brought her to where she is today.
“My parents died in a car accident ten years ago. I was eighteen and able to care for Lea, so I’ve spent my entire adult life so far caring for her and making sure she stayed on track as my parents would have wanted.”
I stop walking because her statement isn’t something I can digest while lightly swinging our arms as we stride toward the crater’s mouth. “Kai, that’s terrible. I can’t imagine picking up after that and carrying on the way you did. Lea is incredibly lucky you did that for her. Wow. That’s why you’re so strong. It makes sense.”
“My parents taught me that everything in life happens for a reason. Even if it’s hard to see why and what the reason is, it’s something we’ll learn before we leave this world behind, so I try to have faith in that thought. You know?”
“I know,” I tell her. “Hearing that makes sense to me, and I wish someone would have told me that a long time ago too.”
“I know … you lost your wife, right?” she asks.
I’m not sure where she got that idea from but that’s not our story. “I lost her, but she’s not dead.”
“Oh!” she gasps. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry for assuming that. It was something Aya said—and I just thought—”
“Seriously, it’s okay.” I can’t help but laugh a little. “She never wanted kids, but things happen. I got a letter from her while I was deployed, letting me know she was pregnant and not keeping the baby. It was a huge mess, and I fought her on the matter until she caved in and continued on with the pregnancy. She tried to be a mom for a while, but she had other plans in life, and we weren’t part of them. So, she filed for divorce, left me the papers to sign, and got up and left. It was the last time I saw or heard from her. Aya was five, so she remembers a lot of it, which is unfortunate.”
At some point during my story, we started walking again. I didn’t even realize we were coming close to the crater until foggy puffs of clouds began spilling over the side. I glance over at Kai, and she has her hands crossed over her heart. “How could a mother willingly leave her child?”
I shrug because I’ve been asking myself the same question for the last couple of years. “Enough with the sour for a minute,” I tell her. “Is there any lava in this thing?”
“No, you loon,” she laughs. “It’s dormant.” She pulls me closer to the ledge. “Give it a minute.”
“For what?”
“Just watch.” As I say that, the clouds I was watching a moment ago begin to form a waterfall effect as they dip into the crater. Between the angle of the sun and the clear spot between the clouds, the orange soil looks and feels like we’re on a different planet. We’re basically standing above the clouds, watching the sun melt into the world below us. I don’t think this sight is comparable to anything I’ve ever seen before.
“Wow,” I tell her.
“It’s incredible,” she says, shivering against the cold wind from the clouds and high altitude. Without thought, I wrap my arms around her, pulling her back against my chest, and it feels like she belongs here with me. Maybe it’s just how I feel, and she’s not at all on the same page, but hope fills me for the first time in a while, and I allow myself to embrace that emotion. It got me through some tough shit in my life, and sometimes it’s all I have to hold onto.
Somewhat surprisingly, Kai wraps her hands around my wrists, holding my arms a little more tightly against her chest, telling me she wants to be here in this moment.
“I thought you were different,” she says. “I thought you were not my type.”
“At second glance?” I ask.
“I was wrong,” she tells me.
I turn her around and comb my fingers through her silky hair, taking in the world she showcases within her eyes. With the sun wavering through the clouds behind her, Kai looks like she’s glowing. If there are signs in life subtly pointing toward what we’re supposed to be doing or when we’re supposed to be doing it, then this all makes sense. Kai makes sense. I sweep my knuckles along her cool cheek and consider how wasted this moment would be if I didn’t move in a little closer to her.
Chapter Fourteen
Kai
How do I tell a man I’ve never experienced a real kiss? I’m twenty-eight, and while he might not know my exact age, I’m past the point of anyone assuming I’ve been solo all along. I could easily fall into Denver’s gaze and lose myself entirely, but is this supposed to be the moment I let it all go? It seems so perfect and planned, like the way I try to live my life.
“Denver,” I whisper, stopping him from moving in any closer. I’m not sure how I’ve found the strength to even speak at the moment, but I did, and he stops moving toward me. Instead, he pulls away entirely.
“I shouldn’t have assumed—” he says.
“No,” I tell him. “You assumed correctly.” He looks as confused as I feel inside, but I’m not sure where to begin my clarification. We’ve been talking. He knows the outer layer of what my life has been like, and now I know his, but there are so many more layers that can hardly be expressed with simple words. “This is going to sound really stupid.” Except he’s looking at me as if it weren’t possible for me to say anything of the sort.
“I doubt that,” he says, matching my soft tone. He runs his fingers through my hair and sweeps it over my shoulder. “What is it?”
“Taking care of my sister over the last ten years has been my only focus and priority, so I kind of let my life take a back seat, which meant no dating, no social life, nothing at all, really. I was shy in high school, and I we
nt from being a high school student to a parental figure over the course of a summer. In a blink, it seems like I missed out on a lot of important milestones in my life, and now I’m embarrassed by it.”
Instead of looking lost, Denver seems intrigued, possibly excited, but I’m not sure he knows why he feels that way since I haven’t spilled it all out yet.
“Have you been kissed, Kai? Because if you say no, I’m going to back away right now and hope not to fall off the edge of this mountain.”
“What?” Why would he say that?
“No, I mean, if I were lucky enough to be that experience for you, a measly sunset on what feels like the top of the world wouldn’t be good enough.”
I feel a little awestruck, but appreciative too. Though I’m not sure I can think of a more appropriate place to have a first kiss, somewhere in my unanswered dreams, I’ve had the thought that it would be unexpected, surreal, and life altering. I suppose that’s what happens when you wait so long to feel something so ordinary.
“I don’t want you to think this isn’t good enough,” I tell him. “I also don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or pressured because I realize my situation isn’t the norm.”
His hands glide down the length of my arms, leaving a trail of warmth behind. “I’m jealous of you,” he says. “There are things I’d take back for a better experience. When we’re young, we don’t think like that, but when we get older, we appreciate more.” He gets me. Despite our vast differences in life situations, he seems to get it.
“I want to—” I tell him.
“It shouldn’t be predictable,” he says. “I was a little predictable, I suppose.”
Now I’m regretting not letting it happen. Denver smells like coconut and spice. I want to feel the stubble on his chin and the texture of his lips. I don’t want him to stop looking at me the way he is. “I’ve wanted to be wanted, Denver. I’ve been lonely, and I had to get used to feeling that way. Now, it’s like opening my world up to new relationship possibilities is stepping away from a type of accustomed comfort, even though I can tell it would be way better on the other side.”
Man Buns Page 11
