“We don’t have one,” Meagan replied, putting on a glum face. “Mommy says she doesn’t have time or gun-shun.”
“No gumption, huh? What about you? Do you have gumption?”
With hands clasped at the top of her head, she did a couple of ballerina twirls, then paused to look at him, bright-eyed. “I don’t know. Is gun-shun fun?”
He snatched up Johnny from his wobbly standing position at the coffee table and jostled him up and down. The little boy giggled with delight. “Oh, yeah, gumption’s fun,” he replied. “Tell me where your mommy keeps your coats and stuff. We have a Christmas tree to buy.”
After bundling up the kids, a chore unto itself, he found Rachel’s van keys hanging in their usual spot, got the kids buckled in their car seats, and set off for the nearest tree lot. Luckily, he found one not a mile away. A church group was selling trees in the parking lot. The pickings were slim, but the three of them managed to find a suitable fir tree with long, thin, soft needles, perfect for hanging ornaments because they wouldn’t prick fingers. Getting it home would be another story, though, as he hadn’t found any rope in Rachel’s garage. With Johnny riding on his hip, it had been difficult to do a thorough search. So, after a little bit of pleading and playing the helpless uncle, he prompted one of the men selling trees to offer to follow him home in his pickup truck, tree in tow.
Setting up the tree was a cinch, as John had purchased the best kind of tree stand. All Jason had to do was trim the trunk at the base, then set the tree in place, make a few adjustments with a foot hoist to straighten it, tighten down a few clamps, and there she stood, as regal as a queen, reaching up toward the nine-foot ceiling.
He had no idea how Rachel would want the tree to look, but since she had no “gun-shun,” as Meagan had put it, he figured however they decided to decorate it—with Meagan in charge, of course—would be fine. Rachel could make adjustments later if she wasn’t happy with the result. The lights went on first. Several strands had burned out, but Jason didn’t feel like bundling up the kids again and heading to the store to buy more. So, he made do with the few strings that did work.
Soon, the tree was sparsely lit and adorned with a multitude of strategically placed ornaments, most of them arranged in strange clusters among the lowest branches. Decorating wasn’t his thing—it never had been—but doing it with Meagan while Johnny watched, draped in garland and playing with several plastic ornaments Jason had placed around him, made the task nothing short of enchanting. When they were finished, they stood back to admire their work, which, when inspected at close range, resembled the worst Charlie Brown tree Jason had ever set eyes on.
After cleaning up, Jason took a sleepy-eyed Johnny up to the nursery for a diaper change and an afternoon nap. The baby put up a regular fuss about having to settle down, but Meagan assured Jason that he “fussed like a trapped cat” every single day—probably an expression she’d borrowed from her mother. So, after giving the boy a friendly pat on the forehead, they walked out and quietly shut the door. After a minute, Johnny piped down, so they padded downstairs and headed for the kitchen to tackle another chore he’d never attempted before: baking Christmas cookies.
Meagan squealed with delight as he told her one silly knock-knock joke after another while rolling out cookie dough on the countertop to make various designs with the cutters he’d found stashed in a drawer. Hopefully, Rachel wouldn’t mind that he’d scrounged through every cabinet before finally locating them or that he’d used up the frozen dough he’d found at the bottom of her freezer. He knew how to roll out dough only by calling up memories of his mom performing the task decades ago. Somehow, though, she’d made it look much easier than it really was, and more than once he was tempted to call and ask her to come over. But he decided against it. This was his and Meagan’s day. Together, they would master the art of baking Christmas cookies.
“We’re makin’ a mess, aren’t we, Uncle Jay?” Meagan said, wiping floury hands on her shirt.
“That’s half the fun!” Jason looked at the floor, his own shirt, the countertop, and the wall. All he saw was flour.
“Is Mommy goin’ to be mad?”
“Nah. We’ll have it all cleaned up long before she gets home,” he assured her, glancing at the clock on the wall and praying he was right. The oven timer buzzed, indicating that the first batch of cookies had finished baking. Wiping his flour-covered hands on his blue jeans and then grabbing a potholder, he slid the tray out of the oven. “Stand back and enjoy these golden specimens. Get a whiff of that glorious, magnificent scent, my dear.”
“Can we eat one?”
“Well, what are they for, if not to eat? Let’s allow them to cool for a few minutes. And we’ll have just one, or we’ll spoil our appetites before we get to the frosted ones.”
The phone rang as he was setting the tray on the cooling rack. He threw off the oven mitt and pointed a finger at the gleeful Meagan. “Do not move, my fair maiden.”
“Well, for goodness’ sake, Jason, how are you?” He recognized the voice of Arlene Roberts, Rachel’s mom. “I surely didn’t expect to hear your voice, but I’m happy nonetheless. Are you visiting for the day?”
“Actually, I drove up to see my folks, then called Rachel to see if I could drop in and see the kids. She did me one better and offered to let me babysit while she and her friend Allie had lunch and went shopping. Your granddaughter has been keeping me pretty busy.”
Arlene laughed. “She has enough energy to power a few lightbulbs, don’t you think? What have you been doing?”
“Are you sure you want to know?”
She laughed. “More so now than ever.”
He told her about their tree decorating adventure and the mountain of flour he stood in. “I’d offer to come help you, but I’m afraid I have plans,” she said. “And, might I just add, ‘Thank You, Lord’?” He joined in her laughter. “Well, don’t let me keep you from your domestic chores. Just tell Rachel I called, would you? Nothing important; just checking up on her. I’m so happy to hear she’s out with Allie for the day. Thank you for helping make that happen, Jay. You’ve been such a great friend to Rachel over the years, but especially now, and I just want you to know how much Mitch and I appreciate it. You’re helping to fill a void in the kids’ lives, as well, and we are so grateful.”
He hadn’t expected the compliment, but he was glad to take it. Nice to know there was someone in the family who thought his friendship with Rachel was a good thing. To keep the peace today, he hadn’t mentioned anything to his dad about going to see Rachel and the kids. He’d merely bid his parents good-bye and said he’d see them next week at Johnny’s first birthday party.
***
Rachel and Allie chatted nonstop on the way back from the mall after a successful afternoon of shopping, as evidenced by the bags they’d stashed in the trunk of Allie’s Toyota Corolla. Rachel had made most of the purchases: a few toys for her children, a sweater and a bottle of nice perfume for her mother and Donna, new wallets and leather belts for her dad and Tom, a mall gift card and a necklace and earring set for Tanna, and, for Jason, a pair of leather gloves and a wool scarf. She’d debated whether to buy him a gift at all but somehow sensed that John would want her to. Whether Jason chose to reciprocate mattered little.
“You’re sure you don’t need anything else?” Allie asked Rachel as they drove along. “Wrapping paper? Tape? Ribbon? Christmas bags? An ice cream sundae?”
Rachel laughed. “I have plenty of wrapping supplies on hand, and I need a sundae right now about as much as I need a toothache. I’m still full from that slice of pie you talked me into today, and then that big hunk of fudge from the candy store. What are you trying to do to me?”
“Put a little meat on your bones. You don’t eat near enough.”
“I eat plenty,” she countered. “But my two little personal trainers keep me burning calories faster than I can take them in.”
“I hear you there. I spend my days chasing other people�
��s kids, then come home and chase my own.”
Drifts from the big snowfall still lined the city streets and clogged the intersections, but Allie maneuvered her car like a pro. “I’m glad you invited me, Al,” Rachel said. “Thanks for helping me decide what to buy everyone. I hadn’t felt up to shopping this year, but you actually made it lots of fun.”
“What am I here for, my dear, if not to enhance your shopping experience?” Allie giggled. “It’s nice that Jason volunteered his services so you and I could spend time together—and wonderful for your kids, his being involved in their lives. He seems like a great guy.”
“He’s…a good guy.”
She felt Allie’s eyes on her. “And handsome as heck. John was good-looking, too, of course,” she quickly added. “For being brothers, though, you’d think they would have looked more alike.”
“Tanna and I don’t really look alike.”
“Well, that’s true. You’re blonde, and she’s got that beautiful, long brown hair. How often does Jason stop by?”
“As often as he can, I guess. He made himself scarce for almost eight months after the accident, but a little while ago, he started coming around again. He wants to connect with Meagan and Johnny more, and I think he’s got it in his head that we’re his charges. He’s been doing odd jobs around the house and just seeing what he can do to make life easier for us.”
“That’s awesome. I wouldn’t mind a handyman as fine-looking as he hanging around my house. I’d be manufacturing jobs left and right.”
“I bet Rick would love that.”
“Are you kidding? Anything to shorten his honey-do list.”
They laughed, and Rachel changed the subject. “So, what do you and Rick have planned for the rest of the day?”
“Nothing special. We’ll probably watch a movie after we put the kids to bed. What about you? You think Jason will hang around?”
“Jason? I have no idea.”
Again, Allie’s eyes wandered back and forth between the road ahead and Rachel.
“I don’t think I just imagined something special in the way he looked at you, Rach.”
She quirked her brows at her friend. “I don’t know what you mean,” she fibbed.
“Oh, pooh. Of course, you do. He’s got something going on for you, sweetie. Are you going to tell me about it or leave me to my imagination?”
Drat! She hadn’t wanted their conversation to come to this, but knowing Allie as she did, she realized there’d be no relief until she came clean. “Well, he has voiced some sort of feelings for me.”
“Some sort of feelings? As in, more than brotherly?”
“I suppose, but it’s ridiculous.”
“Why do you say that?”
Rather than look at Allie, she turned to look out the window. “Because he’s my brother-in-law, and the whole notion sounds preposterous.”
“Not to me, it doesn’t. Hey, in Old Testament times, widows married their husbands’ brothers to carry on the family name. It happened all the time.”
“Well, thank goodness we’re living in the twenty-first century. How would you like to marry Rick’s brother?”
“Ugh. Thank goodness he’s taken,” Allie said, snorting with a burst of laughter as she made the turn onto Westfield Lane.
Just the sight of Jason’s Jeep in her driveway filled Rachel with a flutter of excitement. It also made her curious to know what he could possibly have done to keep her children occupied all day. Had he succeeded in putting Johnny down for his nap? Had he changed his diaper? Had he remembered about his bottle in the refrigerator and the jar of sweet potatoes on the kitchen counter? And what about Meagan? Had he thought to give her a proper snack? Oh, she wished now she’d have spent more time giving him directions. What kind of mother was she to leave her children with a man who knew next to nothing about taking care of children? Moreover, what kind of a disaster should she expect to walk in on after being gone for so many hours? She began to brace herself for the worst.
“Well, I’ll be,” Allie said as she pulled into the driveway. “Is that a mirage I’m looking at or an actual Christmas tree?”
Rachel lurched forward in her seat and stared at the front window. He’d actually gone out and found a tree to decorate? She tried to imagine even John taking that chore upon himself. Mouth agape, she scratched her temple and tried to speak.
“My stars in glory, girl, that man’s a keeper.”
Rachel rolled her eyes, thanked Allie again, and carried her purchases to the front porch. “Mommy! Mommy! Come see all that we did!” Meagan exclaimed when Rachel walked through the door.
The first thing Rachel noted was the tantalizing aroma floating out from the kitchen. Yes, she’d had a slice of pie and a piece of fudge that day, but the lingering smell of fresh-baked cookies never failed to tempt her. Her eyes met Jason’s, then roved down to his rolled-up shirtsleeves, which revealed muscular forearms she had no business studying. But his shirt and arms alike bore sprinkles of flour and smudges of cookie dough, and the sight made her heart take an unexpected leap. Quickly, she crouched down to Meagan’s level. “You’ll have to tell me all about it, beginning with the Christmas tree.”
For the next several minutes, Meagan talked nonstop, describing how the three of them had driven up the street and found the prettiest, straightest tree in all of Fairmount, and how Uncle Jay had made it stand as tall as a soldier. She then informed Rachel that she really needed to buy more lights, but she could wait till next year, because Uncle Jay said so. Next, she told how, after putting Johnny down for his nap, she and her uncle had found some cookie dough in the freezer and baked two batches of cookies using the special roller and the cookie cutters with the fun Christmas shapes. The best part, she said, was the frosting, which Uncle Jay had made with the little hand beater.
Rachel tried to hide her surprise. “You made frosting?” she asked, looking at Jason.
“Well, after I found the recipe online and then hunted down all the ingredients, including the food coloring. Hope you don’t mind that I went through every one of your drawers looking for stuff.”
“Not at all.”
“It’s a good thing you didn’t come home half an hour ago, or the sight might have sent you into shock.” When he gave her a slow, crooked grin, her heart jumped. Sweet Lord, she prayed, is it possible I’m falling in love? Guard my heart, Father.
Precious child, you must trust Me. As long as you give Me all of your heart, you can be certain I will keep it safe, came the whispered assurance.
Chapter 18
Most people Rachel knew had thrown elaborate parties for their babies’ first birthdays. They’d ordered multitiered cakes, spent oodles of money on decorations, and invited friends and relatives from far and wide. Rachel had done the same for Meagan, but she had decided some time ago, considering John’s absence, to keep Johnny’s celebration a low-key affair for immediate family only. There would be many more birthdays and plenty of opportunities for big parties—just not this year. Besides, what did Johnny know or care about a birthday bash as long as he had his mommy, sister, grandparents, Aunt Tanna, and Uncle Jay—and his cake—close at hand?
As it turned out, he wasn’t all that excited about the presents, but the colorfully wrapped boxes and festive bags with tufts of tissue paper sticking out of them surely caught his attention. He sat on the floor and giggled with delight at the sights and sounds of crackling paper and ribbons that came apart with the slightest tug, and everyone agreed that even had they stuffed the packages with newspaper, he still would have been as happy as a clam in the sand.
Rachel took great care not to pay Jason any special heed, and it appeared he had decided to do the same to her, exchanging only an occasional glance with her while sipping punch, eating cake and ice cream, or contributing to various conversations, most of which revolved around the children. Rachel couldn’t help but watch him, though, when, after Johnny had opened all his gifts, Jason tossed him and then Meagan into the air, spin
ning them around like tops until the roomful of adult onlookers felt dizzy, themselves. His hearty laughter and the giggles of her children mingled like fine music. Tanna joined in the fun, picking up whoever was waiting for Jay’s attention, twirling and dancing as she sang some popular tune from the radio. In those moments, Rachel thought so much about John, wishing he were there to share in the joviality, wondering if he would have tossed the children playfully instead of Jay but reaching the conclusion that both brothers probably would have.
She could be sure of one thing: Jason loved her children, and, whether or not things ever worked out between them, he would surely insist on maintaining a relationship with Meagan and Johnny.
And she could never stand in his way and sustain a clear conscience.
***
Jason never had been a fan of crowds or malls, so holiday shopping ranked low on his list of favorite things to do. But, with Christmas just three days away, he had little choice but to join the thousands of other last-minute shoppers, the majority of which seemed to be men.
Armed with a list of ideas he’d compiled, with Diane’s help, he made the rounds through the Traverse City Mall, beginning at the toy store for items for Meagan and Johnny, then going into several department stores in search of watches and perfume for Arlene, Tanna, and his mom, then the sporting goods store for new putters and golf balls for his dad and Mitch. Buying for Rachel was the toughest, as he wanted to get her something special and unique without going overboard or appearing too forward. Arms full, he stopped to gaze in the window of Parks Jewelers and saw a pair of earrings he thought she’d like. Yes, they were more expensive than what he’d just purchased for the other women in his life, including his own mom, but then Rachel had suffered the greatest loss. He told himself she deserved a little spoiling.
“May I help you, sir?” asked an attractive, middle-aged woman when he walked through the door.
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