by J. S. Scott
“And what did you think about, beautiful?”
My stomach flip-flopped.
I knew I was conjuring all this up in my self-conscious mind, but his voice had become so familiar, so clear. And there wasn’t a time that I didn’t adore his nickname for me.
“You make me feel beautiful,” I told him.
“Because you are,” he answered firmly. “Now tell me what you thought about.”
It was a dream. I could tell him anything. “I was thinking about how much I love you, how I never want to live without you. I’m sorry that you thought for even a moment that I didn’t. I regret it.”
His dark eyes bored into mine. “You love me?”
I nodded. “More than you can ever imagine.”
“Dammit! I’m screwed. I can’t not touch you after you just told me that.”
“I want you to fuck me, Jackson. I want to know what it feels like to be with a man I love.”
“You just sealed our fate, beautiful,” he rasped.
In a heartbeat, his lips were on mine, and I savored the familiar taste of his embrace.
He tasted like sin and temptation.
And he kissed like a man possessed.
I fisted his hair as I dueled with his tongue, feeling more desperate than I ever had in my entire life.
The kiss went on and on. Jackson would nibble at my lips, and then cover my mouth again, giving us time to breathe…just barely.
When he finally lifted his head, I said breathlessly, “You’re still here.”
He grinned down at me. “Thank God.”
I wrapped a leg around his massive thighs, trying to get my core closer to his cock. “Fuck me, Jackson. Please. I need you,” I whimpered.
“Slowly, baby,” he said in what sounded like a barely restrained voice.
“I want to touch you,” I said in a sensual voice that was deep with passion.
I reached my hand between us and moved a hand down his chest until I got to that tantalizing trail of hair that disappeared into his waistband.
I was panting as I reached the buttons of his jeans.
“If you fucking touch me, I’ll lose it, Hayden,” he warned in a low baritone.
“I want you to lose it.”
It took me a moment, but I got his jeans open, and reached inside to get my first feel of what felt like an enormous cock.
It was as big as the rest of him, and I let out a shaky breath as he reached for the zipper on my jeans. “I have to make you come, Hayden,” he said in a frenzied tone. “Now.”
Yes. Yes. Yes.
I was triumphant when I was finally able to feel the silken tip of his cock, and I wanted more. I freed him completely, and wrapped my hand around the shaft.
God, he felt so damn amazing.
Hard steel covered by silken skin.
And he’s all mine.
Possessive, raw primal need shot through my body.
“Mine,” I said aloud in a tremulous voice.
“Always yours, beautiful,” he replied with a covetous growl.
I cried out as his voice faded. “Jackson. Don’t leave me. Jackson!”
“Shit!” I heard him curse.
His touch became a light brush.
And then…he was gone.
“Noooo!”
As I stood there alone, I started to sob.
“Not again. I can’t take it this time,” I choked out.
It wasn’t just my body that was craving him.
It was Jackson this time.
And even though it was just a dream, he’d gone away with my shattered heart.
Chapter Thirteen
Hayden
I was disoriented when I woke up sobbing like my entire life was over.
It was just a damn dream!
As I sat up, I wondered why it hadn’t felt like I was dreaming this time. It had all seemed so…real.
I tried to pull myself together.
The TV was blaring, and I groped for the remote to turn it off.
I’d fallen asleep on my couch. I’d been so torn about whether to go next door to Jackson’s house that I hadn’t wanted to go to bed.
I glanced at the clock.
It was a little after midnight, so I hadn’t been asleep for more than a few hours.
When I finally found the remote, and turned off the television, I was relieved when the house was suddenly silent.
I swiped the tears from my face, still wondering why my dream had been so real.
Probably because I knew it was Jackson this time.
I wracked my brain to remember what he’d said.
It was always me.
His words drifted through my mind, and I had a serious epiphany.
He’s right. It was always him. I just hadn’t met him yet.
I hadn’t seen his face, and I hadn’t recognized his voice because we hadn’t met yet, but somehow I knew that I actually had always been dreaming about Jackson. I just couldn’t put a face to my dream man.
I sighed as I rose from the couch, my heart still aching from the dream.
I have to see him. I have to know that he’s okay.
Before I’d fallen asleep, I’d been afraid to go next door. After the way he’d left so abruptly, I wasn’t sure he wouldn’t slam the door in my face.
It had only taken a few hours for me to work out the fact that I trusted Jackson completely, and I believed that he really did have a psychic gift.
But that really didn’t matter to me.
I loved the man so much, and so unconditionally. I couldn’t ever be afraid of him because he was different. His uniqueness was one of the reasons I’d fallen for him so hard.
Yeah, I’d been stunned and speechless for a short period of time, and he’d confused that with rejection.
God, doesn’t he know that I’d never walk away from him for any reason?
I’d found my dream man, and wild horses couldn’t drag me away if Jackson really wanted me.
I ran my fingers through my mussed, curly hair, knowing I probably needed to go look in a mirror, but my heart was already racing, and I didn’t want to chicken out.
I stepped outside, and locked up behind me. It was late, but Jackson’s lights were still on.
As I hurried down the stairs, I wondered what in the world I was going to say to him.
There was so much I wanted to tell him, but mostly, I just wanted to throw myself into his arms, entwine myself with him, and never let go.
I was breathless by the time I’d sprinted up his steps and arrived at his door.
And then I hesitated.
What if he doesn’t want me anymore because I hurt him?
What if he doesn’t believe me when I tell him that I accept him, and I always have?
I could probably find at least a hundred what-if scenarios that would have me creeping back down the stairs in fear.
In my mind, I’d never been good enough for a man like Jackson.
And he doesn’t think he’s normal enough for me.
Honestly, I didn’t want ordinary, not when I could have extraordinary with Jackson.
He’d blown my no-dating-for-at-least-a-year idea all to hell. But I didn’t regret that.
Ring the damn doorbell, Hayden.
“If he blows me off, at least I’ll know that I tried,” I whispered fiercely as I hit the button harder than I needed to.
Jackson was worth any risk, even if I ended up with a broken heart.
My breath seized in my lungs as he opened the door looking like he’d just rolled out of bed.
His hair was messed up and spikey in a sexy kind of way. And he was shirtless. I couldn’t help running my eyes down his massive chest, to his six pack abs, and then my gaze stayed glued to that enticing trail of hair that disappeared into the waistband of his jeans.
He looks like he just jumped right out of my dream.
He pulled me inside and shut the door behind me. “Hayden? What in the hell are you doing wandering around in th
e dark?”
He sounded unhappy, but in a protective sort of way. I turned toward him, and met his intense stare.
“I had to talk to you. I couldn’t wait for tomorrow. I don’t really care if you have psychic abilities. Whether you think so or not, they’re a gift. And they make you unique, Jackson. Not that you weren’t unique even before I knew, but now you’re even more special.”
Oh hell, I was rambling, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself as I added, “The truth is, I’ve been dreaming about you every Christmas since I turned twenty-one years old. And it’s always been you, Jackson. I just didn’t know that until I had another dream about you tonight. Please don’t send me away. All I really want is to be with you.”
I took a couple of deep breaths as I watched his face.
He grabbed my upper arm gently, and led me into the living room.
“You dreamed about me? Even before we met?” he questioned gruffly.
He sat me down on the couch, and then sat next to me.
I nodded. “I couldn’t really see your face in my dreams before I met you, but it’s always been you. I just didn’t realize it until now.”
“Fuck!” he exploded as he leaned back on the couch, his expression troubled.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, concerned.
“Do you remember when I told you that there was more to the story?”
“Yes, I remember. But it doesn’t matter, Jackson. I trust you. Nothing is going to change the way I feel about you. I swear. You could tell me that you’re an alien from another galaxy, and I’d believe it.”
My heart was lighter as he shot me a small grin.
“I’m not going to tell you that, Hayden. But those dreams you had? They weren’t your dreams. They were mine.”
I reached out and took his large hand in mine. “I don’t understand.”
“I’ve been dreaming about you for the last decade, too. Once every year at the holidays. But it’s happened three times this year, which is out of the ordinary. Did you just have one of those dreams?”
“Yes,” I said truthfully. “It’s the first time I ever actually knew what you looked like, and I knew it was you. Before, you were always in shadow. I couldn’t see you. I could only touch you.”
“My dreams were always vivid. And I could see your face perfectly, beautiful,” he said huskily. “I recognized you that very first night on our decks as the woman I’d always dreamed about. That’s why I was pretty much stalking you until you’d talk to me. When I dreamed about you, every time I went to kiss you, I’d end up losing you. You’d fade away.”
“It was the same for me,” I told him, my body starting to tremble as I realized that Jackson had always been there with me in my dreams.
Maybe it seemed unrealistic.
Maybe it seemed impossible.
Maybe it was crazy.
But I knew it was true.
“I’m not sure how it happened,” Jackson replied. “But somehow, I connected with you in my dreams. I pushed myself into your head so you could share that dream, even though it was fucking crazy. I never realized you were having the same dreams. I’m so damn sorry, Hayden. I doubt I could have stopped it if I’d tried.”
“Don’t be sorry,” I said as I squeezed his hand. “If that was the only way we could be together, I’m grateful for those dreams. But how do you know it wasn’t me pushing into your dreams?”
He smiled. “Number one…I’m the psychic. And number two…my dreams were incredibly clear. It sounds like you were having a shadow dream. Honestly, I’m not sure exactly how it happened. But I was always positive that you existed out there somewhere, and that my dream meant something. But I have to admit that it shocked the hell out of me when I saw you in real life.”
He lifted a hand, and brushed back an errant lock of hair from my face gently. “Are you scared now?”
“No,” I said. “Not at all. I never was. I’m just sorry we couldn’t finish what we started in that dream tonight.”
“We couldn’t. And I don’t want a damn dream anymore, beautiful. I want you. Here. In real life. I’m pretty sure we couldn’t finish what we started because we couldn’t do anything intimate that we hadn’t done in reality. That’s why I was able to kiss you tonight without you disappearing. We’ve done it outside of the dream world. But since we haven’t had sex, we were cut off before it could happen in my dream.”
I shook my head to try to clear my brain. “I can’t believe that I’ve been with you once a year for the last decade in a dream. Unlike you, I didn’t believe you existed in real life. Even though it felt real, I kept telling myself that it was just a stupid dream.”
“You were always supposed to be mine, Hayden. I knew it. But I didn’t think I’d ever find you,” he said hoarsely.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Jackson. It must have been hard to deal with being different, especially when you were a kid. But I wasn’t brushing you off. I was just trying to understand.”
He hauled me onto his lap before he answered. “I shouldn’t have gotten pissed off,” he admitted. “I’m just so used to people thinking I’m odd if they know I’m psychic. I guess I figured you’d think so, too. Not that I’d blame you. This whole thing is pretty unbelievable.”
I took a deep breath before I went for broke. “I love you, Jackson. I think I have almost from the moment we met. Maybe I even felt it before in my dreams, even though I didn’t know your identity.”
He took my head in his hands and gently turned my eyes to his. “So you meant what you said in our dream tonight?”
“Yes. I love you.”
“Christ, Hayden. I love you, too. So much that it’s killing me.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, my heart stuttering with a joy so profound that I could hardly breathe. “Then I’d have to resuscitate you,” I teased. “Because I don’t want to live without you.”
“I’ve waited ten long years for you, beautiful. I’m sure as hell not going anywhere now,” he growled.
I moaned as his lips met mine, and his arms moved down to wrap tightly around my waist. Without lifting his lips from mine he started to push me toward the bedroom. I backed up as he moved forward.
Before I knew it, we were standing near the bed in his room.
When he finally lifted his head, I hugged him tightly and closed my eyes, savoring the feeling of being so close to him.
He made short work of removing my cotton shirt, and then my bra. When he nimbly undid my jeans, and lowered them, I kicked them off without a qualm.
I felt his eyes on me, caressing every inch of my skin before our gazes locked together.
Tears sprang to my eyes because I knew that he was mine, and he wasn’t going to disappear this time.
Chapter Fourteen
Hayden
When I finally opened my eyes, I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning out loud at the sight of Jackson’s big body dropping to his knees as he lowered my panties to my ankles with his teeth.
I kicked them off, relieved to be free of anything that would come between myself and Jackson.
I wasn’t the least bit shy, which was abnormal for me.
I hated my body when I got naked.
But that didn’t matter anymore because Jackson seemed to love it.
“You’re so damn beautiful, Hayden,” he rasped against the softness of my stomach.
God, I could feel the heat coming off his massive body in waves, enticing me to jump into the flames.
I hurdled toward the fire, and my body jerked in response as Jackson boldly stroked his fingers between my thighs, delving into the moist recesses of the quivering pink flesh of my pussy.
His touch was light and gentle, which drove me completely insane.
“Don’t tease me right now, Jackson,” I demanded.
I needed him too damn much to be able to tolerate much foreplay. I was still sexually frustrated from my recent dream. Or maybe I should say…his recent dream that I visited.
I
wanted to feel his hard body pounding into me right now. No holding back. I felt like I’d been waiting for this since I saw him out on his deck that very first night.
It was like I’d always wanted him.
Always needed him.
And I’d been trying to fill that yawning void inside me with men who just weren’t Jackson for far too long.
My hands landed on his massive shoulders when he took his first taste of me, his tongue piercing between my folds like he was trying to devour me.
He wasn’t shy. Jackson buried his face into my pussy while he urged me to spread my legs more for him.
I obeyed with a whimper. “Yes. Oh, God. That feels so good.”
I squealed as the back of my knees hit the bed, and I tumbled backwards.
Jackson didn’t miss a beat.
He dove onto the bed, and back between my legs before I could blink.
And it was the hottest thing I’d ever seen.
His dark head was buried between my quivering thighs, and his hands pushed my legs up and apart so he could run his wicked tongue over every inch of my wet pussy, like he wanted to lick every drop of nectar he could find.
He was frantic, frenzied, like his life depended on him reaching every damn untouched spot.
“Jackson, nobody has ever—”
“Good!” he said in a rough, muffled voice against my flesh. “I love knowing I’m the first guy who has ever tasted you. I’ll be the only one to make you come like this.”
My body shuddered, his possessiveness firing every nerve in my body.
“You’ll be the only man who has ever made me come…period,” I choked out.
I’d had sex, and it had been awkward and uncomfortable. I’d never even enjoyed it. So nothing had prepared me for what Jackson was doing to my body.
He didn’t say anything, but I felt his low grunt of satisfaction rumble against my clit.
I closed my eyes as I felt him plunge into my empty channel with his fingers, while his mouth still played insistently over my clit.
I went into sensory overload. He catapulted my desire to a level I hadn’t even known was possible.
Stroking.
Enticing.
Forcing me into a state of tension that was almost unbearable.
