by Molly Evans
“No, you don’t. We can just talk or sleep.”
A vulgar laugh opened his throat. “If I stayed, we wouldn’t be sleeping.”
“I can live with a sleepless night, Miguel.” She took a step closer and some of the tears fell from her eyes. “I don’t want to spend a sleepless night without you beside me.”
“Vicky, you deserve so much better, so much more than what I can give you.” He backed up and spun around in a circle. “I mean, just look at what you’re used to. This is so far away from what I come from, from who I am, it might as well be the other side of the world.”
“I don’t need this! I don’t want this.” She moved closer to him. “The outer shell of this life has cost me more than you’ll ever know.” Tears flowed as anger snapped in her eyes. “Existing in this environment isn’t living. I’ve only begun to live, to grow, to love since I started at the clinic.” She sucked in a ragged breath. “I want more of it. I need more of it. Of you.”
“Vicky,” he said, and his voice cracked. The emotion in the room nearly sizzled between them. “I’m broken inside. Whatever capacity I had to love another died a long time ago.”
“That’s not true. I saw you with your family, with Carlos’s family. There was love and compassion in you then. It’s not gone, it’s just been in hiding for a long time.”
“I’m sorry. If I were different, maybe things could have worked between us.”
“If I wanted somebody different, I could have had them.”
“I’m sorry.” He cupped his hands around her face and pulled her close for one last hard kiss before he walked away from her forever.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
VICKY sobbed the remainder of the night into her pillow. Around dawn she slept, but only for a few elusive hours. Erotic dreams of Miguel beside her melded into the nightmare of reality. Her life was destined for failure. If she’d hidden her identity from Miguel he’d have been furious when he’d found out. Not hiding her identity had turned out just as bad. Either way, her family name interfered with her ability to have a normal life and she was damned sick of it.
They still had to get through the next week together. The fundraiser was on Saturday night, and she didn’t know how either of them would survive the week working together. After that she would turn in her resignation. There was no point in staying at the clinic. She had proved to her father and to herself that she could work in that environment. Maybe she would go to University Hospital, too. They were always looking for nurses and she’d be able to hide more easily among a larger staff.
Tears filled her eyes as she thought of leaving those patients and the staff she’d come to love. On Monday she would have to face Miguel again, and she didn’t know how she was going to do that without breaking down and breaking her heart.
Monday morning arrived and Vicky strolled through the doors a few minutes early. After putting on the first pot of coffee, she chatted with Tilly and the other staff members who arrived in the minutes before Miguel. Trying to appear normal took a monumental effort.
There was a break in his stride as he came through the door and saw her, then he continued on to his office.
As always, Mondays were the busiest of days and the flow of patients didn’t let up until noon. Miguel caught her eye as she was about to enter the staff room for a much-needed break. With a nod, he turned and headed to his office. She followed, not sure what was going to happen but she was determined to see it through. She was a Sterling-Thorne after all, and they were made of tough stuff.
She shut the door and stood inside his office, just across the desk from the man who had held her in his arms only two nights ago. “Did you need something?” she asked.
“I didn’t expect to see you this morning.” There was no warmth in his gaze, just cold indifference. Somehow that was worse than his anger.
“Why not? Just because we had a philosophical difference on a personal level, it doesn’t mean I quit my job.”
“It would be easier if you did.”
She smiled at that. “I know it would, but I’m done making things easier on people. I’m doing what’s right for me. I love this job and these people that I work with, the staff as well as the patients.” She huffed out a breath and realized that every word of it was true. She wasn’t going anywhere. “If you don’t want me to work here any more, you’re going to have to fire me and then you get to tell everyone.” Without waiting for his reaction, she left the office.
The trembling began in her arms and wound its way around to her stomach then down her legs. If she didn’t sit soon, she was going to fall over. The conviction of her words surprised her, but as she’d told Miguel, she’d realized they were true. She turned down a hallway that led to a side door. She had to get outside for a breath of fresh air, just for a minute, then she’d head back inside and back to work.
Just as she opened the door, excited screams rang out behind her. “What in the world…?” she mumbled. The clinic closed for lunch, so there weren’t any patients present at the moment. What could be going on? Reluctantly, she returned to the staff lounge and discovered people laughing and crying at the same time. They were grouped so that she couldn’t see what they were looking at.
“Vicky?” Carlos called to her.
“Carlos!” She found herself enveloped in the young man’s hug. “What are you doing here?” The joy at his recovery pushed away the sad feelings in her heart.
Too many emotions crowded around in her and tears fell from her eyes as she pressed her hands to her cheeks. But they were good tears, and she let them go. Hiding her emotions had never gotten her anything, so why waste the energy?
“I’m back for a visit. I go to therapy nearby, so I wanted to stop and see if anyone had missed me.” He grinned and the room exploded in relieved laughter. Good wishes and gentle pats on the back were exchanged.
When Vicky looked up, Miguel stood across the room, his dark eyes intent on her for a second, then he looked at Carlos and his expression changed. In just a few steps he had crossed the room and enveloped the young man in his arms. “Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?”
“That takes the surprise out of it,” he said. They spoke in an excited mix of English and Spanish and Vicky could follow some of it, but it was obvious that everyone was glad to see Carlos upright and looking so well. Though he looked fit enough, there was a slight sheen of perspiration on his forehead and he hadn’t quite lost his hospital pallor.
He placed a hand on the back of a chair, and Vicky noticed that it trembled.
“Sit down, why don’t you?” She gestured for him to sit and took a chair herself, knowing that he’d never admit to feeling weak among his friends. Machismo ran deep in him, and he wasn’t about to give it up now. “We were just about to have lunch. Did you want to join us?”
“Sure. Catch me up on what’s going on around here. When’s the fundraiser?” He looked across the small table at Miguel for the answer.
“We’re going to have to cancel the event.” He looked away and pressed his lips together.
A gasp rose in the room and worried glances were exchanged.
“No, we’re not. The fundraiser is on Saturday night.” Vicky focused on Miguel. What was he doing? “The clinic needs this.”
“I’ve reconsidered. I won’t leave. We’ll just go on the way we were before.”
“Leave? What are you talking about?” Confused, Carlos looked between the two. “What’s going on?”
“Miguel’s been offered a position at the trauma unit at University Hospital.”
“That’s great, man,” he said, then frowned. “Oh, but not great for us, though.”
“Exactly. Which is why I’m going to decline the offer. I can’t walk away from everyone here.”
She looked at Miguel and knew she loved him. “Don’t make me do it, Miguel.”
Now it was his turn to be confused. “Do what?”
She spoke to Carlos and the rest of the staff. “It’s his dream t
o work in the trauma unit again. He was in his element when you were injured, and I’ve never seen him work better, though he’s much too modest to admit that out loud. As much as he loves this place, his talent is wasted here.”
“Vicky—”
Carlos simply looked at Miguel. “You have to, M. You saved my life and if you can save other people too, you have to do it.”
“I’m not leaving here. I’ve made a commitment to the people in this community.”
“And you won’t be breaking it by going to the hospital,” Vicky said.
Staff members stood up and gathered around the table, each of them placing a hand of encouragement on Miguel. Good wishes and words of luck rang throughout the room.
He cleared his throat and looked down. Tears welled in Vicky’s eyes at the emotion he struggled to hide. He loved these people, and they loved him right back. He’d never be far from them, far from this place where his heart lived, but his dreams weren’t going to wait. She was sure of it.
The day seemed to struggle forward as much as Vicky did. It was one of those painful afternoons where she worked hard to put one foot in front of the other and each movement was a chore.
Finally, all of the patients were seen and the clinic had been put to rights for the next morning. A yawn surprised her, and she covered it with her hand.
“Worn-out, are you?” Tilly asked as she gathered her things.
“Definitely.”
“You and Miguel have been working your tails off to get things ready for Saturday night while working all day long.” She shook her head in amazement. “Good thing you two are young.”
They chatted another minute or two as the other staff filed out. “It will be good when it’s over, though. The clinic will be its own nonprofit organization and it will be able to almost run itself. Miguel will be able to take the new position and everyone will be happy.” She sighed as she thought about it. His work and his presence here would never be forgotten, she was certain of it.
“What about you?” Tilly asked.
“What about me?”
“You mentioned the clinic and Miguel, but not what you’re going to do after it’s all over. Will you still stay?”
For a second or two she thought about it. What was she going to do? She’d changed since she’d first arrived. “I’ll be back on Monday, like the rest of you, ready for another round of taking care of people.” She hugged the smaller woman’s shoulders with one arm. “It’s what people like you and me do, Tilly. We take care of people, right?”
Tilly patted her hand. “Right. See you in the morning.”
Could it really be that simple? Miguel hadn’t meant to listen in on the earlier conversation between Tilly and Vicky at the clinic, but he had. He arrived home and paused inside the door as emotions he’d held at bay now slammed into him. The sentiment in Vicky’s voice was so sure, so filled with conviction that he wanted to believe in her in the same way that she believed in him.
Shoving his hands into his hair, he curled his fingers, pulling his hair until it hurt. He didn’t know what to do. Giving in to the passion he felt for Vicky would be so very easy, but with nothing to offer her, nothing she didn’t already have, how could he pursue her? Lying to himself would only get both of them into trouble and hurt Vicky more than he already had. Lies. They were what always got people into trouble, and he’d never tolerated them. Lies were what had gotten his brother killed.
He closed his eyes and images of his brother’s death hit him, opened up the wound and let the pain flow. He’d never gotten over it, he knew. Family events, the look in people’s eyes, the hugs that seemed to go on forever all came back now to torture him. That was why he’d wanted Vicky at the party with him, to provide a buffer between his family and himself. That hadn’t turned out the way he’d planned. That had only given him the opportunity to fall in love with a woman he could never have.
The voice he hadn’t heard in a decade whispered into the room and enveloped him in a swirl of warm comfort.
It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t your fault, brother.
The pain in Miguel’s heart felt as if he would die from it and his breath ceased. If he had been shot with an arrow, his heart couldn’t have hurt any less. Tears that he’d held back for so many years filled his eyes, and he gasped for breath.
Let go, brother, just let me go.
He looked down at the bracelet on his right wrist and blinked to clear his vision. The bracelet had been there as a symbol to himself, and everyone who knew him, of his guilt, his chain to the past. He’d never taken it off. Not since that night so long ago. The metal that had always burned hot against his skin now cooled, the heat leaving it.
With the echo of Emilio’s voice ringing in his ears, he moved down the hallway to the pictures and stopped in front of one of his brother. Memories of their childhood flashed through him. He placed the fingers of his left hand over the warm silver and pulled off the bracelet. As he stared at the photograph, the pain in his chest began to ease, replaced with a warm pulse he hadn’t felt for a long time. He hung the bracelet on a corner of the picture frame.
He didn’t need it any longer.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
VICKY had taken a room at the hotel for the night, as had been her custom for every fundraiser she’d ever attended. If she needed a break from the party she could go to her room, and when she was through for the night it was simpler to take the elevator than to try to negotiate driving in a fancy gown and flimsy shoes.
She’d made the final arrangements this evening then spent some time preparing herself. There were so many people that she’d see tonight that she had to have her Victoria face on for. That took preparation of a certain kind. And since the evening was for Miguel’s clinic, he and her father were certain to meet. There were a few key introductions that she wanted to make to Miguel that could help with the future of the clinic, too.
That was anxiety of a completely different sort.
Whether Miguel would be warm or cool tonight, she had no idea. Either way, he’d see the woman behind the name tonight. So far she’d always been Vicky to him. Tonight Victoria would be on display. Tonight would reveal whether they truly had a chance to work things out. If he could accept who she was, that was one thing. If he couldn’t, then things were well and truly over between them.
She stuck a few items plus the key card into a tiny purse that matched her dress and inspected herself in the mirror. The dress was another of her brother’s creations and as usual he’d spared her no extra fabric.
After a calming breath, she turned on a dim light by the bed, then left the room to see what fate had in store for her in the ballroom.
The tux was too tight. And who in their right minds had invented the cummerbund? Dress shoes looked good, but other than that they were a waste, too. No wonder women had a love-hate relationship with high heels.
Miguel stood in the men’s room, which was nearly as big as his entire bungalow. Looking in the mirror, he adjusted his tie a bit to the left then to the right. Right back where it wanted to go anyway. He’d arrived early to help Vicky with any final arrangements, but she had apparently already come and gone, leaving him with more minutes to spare than he cared to have. A stroll around the lush gardens killed a few minutes, but the nervousness and anxiety boiling inside him wouldn’t be quieted so easily.
So many things were riding on the success of this night and any number of things could go wrong.
Maybe a quick trip to the bar would calm his nerves. He reentered the hallway, and his shoes made crisp sounds on the tile flooring.
“Dr. Torres!” A familiar woman’s voice called to him. A smile seemed to grow from his chest and made its way to his face. Carlos and his parents had entered and his mother waved.
He greeted them and gave a peck on the cheek to Priscilla. “You know you don’t have to call me Doctor. You’re family.”
“Oh, not on a night like this,” she said, wide-eyed. “This is your night, mi
jo, and you deserve all the respect that comes to you.” She looked up at her son with such affection and love that a lump formed in Miguel’s throat. “You saved my son and there is nothing I won’t do for you.”
He shook Carlos’s hand. “You’re looking fit. How do you feel?”
“Great.” He stuck a finger in his collar. “Tux is a little tight, but I’ll live.”
“Bah. Tight. He’s lost twenty pounds since he was injured, and I think I’ve found them all!” Priscilla gave a laugh and patted her stomach.
“There will be plenty for him to eat tonight.”
After that the guests began to arrive in earnest. People that he knew from the clinic and others he recognized from the community. Other people he didn’t know but had to be among the wealthiest people he’d ever seen.
When a man in his mid-thirties entered the lobby with two clinging women dressed in haute couture, he hid a grin. That had to be the fashion-designer brother of Vicky’s.
The entire group stopped in front of him and the man gave Miguel the once-over with his eyes. “You must be the doctor,” he said, and held out his hand.
“I must be or I’m at the wrong party.” Miguel shook the man’s hand, liking him immediately.
“I’m Edward, Victoria’s brother.” One of the tall women with Edward gave a dramatic sigh.
“Quite the group you have here,” Miguel said.
“Yes, isn’t it?” Edward sported a woman on each arm. “I couldn’t decide who to bring, so I brought both.”
“Why limit yourself?” He grinned.
“Indeed. Do you know where Victoria is?”
“I haven’t seen her, but she should be here somewhere.”
“Ladies, shall we go and see what sort of entertainment awaits us?” Without waiting for an answer, Edward strode forward and Miguel followed the small group.
“I’ll catch you later,” Carlos said, and walked beside Miguel. “Hey, what’s with this ‘Victoria’ stuff? What’s up with you and Vicky?”
