“My relationship with Penelope isn’t your business.” I turn the doorknob.
Dad slams his fist on his desk, and it makes me turn around. He doesn’t lose it very often. “It is when you share a secret. If people start to question her then how long until they question you? Everyone close to the girl is guilty by association. I can’t protect you, Carter, not if you’re with her. You want to lose all you’ve been building here?”
“You mean all the ideas I’ve had and you’ve barely let me try? Yeah, what a loss.”
“We’ll need you, son, to lead the Statics after the Observance.”
I can’t believe this. Only he’d stoop this low. “So, you’re bribing me. She isn’t a toy that you can threaten to take away.”
“She is exactly that,” Dad yells, his eyes wide. This makes his thoughts about her and me very clear. He doesn’t think I’m serious about her, about not following his path. “I don’t have to threaten it—I make the laws. One word from me and she’s gone anyway. Don’t risk yourself or this family.”
Why can’t he understand this? “I can’t do that. She needs me.”
Dad stands and puts his hand on my shoulder. “I’ve done a lot of fighting for you. To keep you safe and with me. Will you sacrifice that for a girl?”
“Yes,” I say without hesitation.
Dad sighs, lowering his hand. “Please don’t be with her publicly until this settles. I will find out who revealed this information. This is for your own good. It’s only until after the Observance, only one day. We need to make it through this event unscathed. This is an important sign of hope that our kind needs right now.”
I can tell he means it, even if I don’t want him to be sincere. “If I say no?”
“You can’t say no. It’s this or she’s gone completely.”
I step back from him. “Then I don’t have a choice, do I, other than to bow to the great Triad leader?” Then I bow, purposefully. I want him to know that I hate this decision as much him. He’s wasting my time when Penelope needs me. I’ll do whatever it takes to get out of this room.
Dad lowers his voice. “Don’t forget your place.”
I stand up and shoot him a look of disdain. “It’s hard to forget it when I haven’t even found it yet.”
“I can tell you where it isn’t—with Penelope Grey.”
“Got it,” I say, pushing past him to open the door.
Dad moves out of the way and straightens his blazer. “Be sure that it sinks in.”
“Consider it ingrained.” I say as I close the door.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Penelope
Standing on the hilltop isn’t peaceful. It’s chaos. Everything below seems to want to swallow me whole. Every witch knows I’m a halfling. I wring my hands. What am I going to do?
“Pen,” Carter says.
Then, I’m in his arms. He holds me close, and I miss his familiar scent of nutmeg. He’s been busy, mostly protecting me, and I’ve done nothing to deserve it.
“Everyone knows,” I whisper in his ear. It’s ironic, because I’m not even sure who I am anymore. I’m so confused by all of this. The magic plunges around in my stomach, and the motion is enough to make me sick.
“I know,” is all he says.
“How long until they learn what I did? They’ll all really hate me then.”
“They won’t find out, and they won’t hate you. It’s all going to be okay.”
I pull away from him. “How can you say that? Stop saying that.”
There really is no worse expression. It’s not going to work out. It’s not.
“Penelope,” he whispers.
“Nothing is ‘okay.’ Nothing will work out. This is a mess. A mess. I’ve pulled you into all this,” I say.
Into the fire with me. Into the demons. Into the lies, the void, the Statics, my betrayal. Everything. The void feels like it’s crawling under my skin, and I pull my arms toward myself to stop the sensation.
“I don’t see how this can get any worse now,” I say, mostly to myself. Except, even as I say that, I don’t accept it as true. Poncho could get in trouble for communicating with me. Carter could be discovered. Connie could die. My family could be destroyed. Everything, really, can only get worse from here.
Then he exhales, and my eyes meet his. “I left my dad from here,” he starts. He scrubs a hand down his neck, and my stomach is a pit. “Because of all this, my dad has decided that I can’t be with you—in public.”
“What?”
“He says it’s too dangerous for me, for him.”
I pull away. I can’t hear this. No. He’s all I have right now. He can’t do this to me. He can’t leave me.
I knew he would leave me. I knew it.
Carter grabs my hand. “I told him I wouldn’t, and he threatened you. It’s until the Observance is over. One day. Dad’s desperate to keep his secret about my mom, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to keep you safe. It was the only way, Pen.”
“For you to not date me?” I scream it at him. All the words in my head are jumbled together with the magic brewing and the anger.
“To pretend,” he looks at me. “I wouldn’t give you up.”
But you just did. “Then why are you even here right now? If Daddy forbade you.” Everything comes out louder than I mean it to.
Carter squeezes my hand and locks eyes with me. “Believe me when I say I’d do anything for you.” I shake my head and he rests each of his hands on my cheeks. “Say the word and I’ll walk you into the Observance myself. Screw him.”
Don’t feel. Calm down, Penelope.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” he says, dropping his hands. “It sucks. He sucks. All of this.”
I close my eyes. Push down my emotions. I won’t feel anything. I won’t feel anything. I won’t feel anything.
If I say it enough then maybe it will be true.
“You said there was more.”
Carter sighs. I hate that sigh. I hate everything.
“There are some things I’ve learned, and I’ve been trying to tell you for weeks.”
His phone beeps and I roll my eyes. “Answer it.”
“No,” he says.
“It could be your dad,” I say. My chest feels like it is caving in. Carter reaches for me, this look of pity on his face. I shake my head. I don’t want his pity. That’s worse than anything else. I want him to leave me alone. “You said you can’t be with me. Answer it.”
He does and turns his back. I look over the city, and my eyes fill with tears. Wrong move. Answering it means Carter’s giving me up. Just like that. I don’t want him to leave me.
I hear him yell into the phone. The way he talks to me, looks at me, understands what I’m feeling without me saying it. No one else can do that. And I’m lying to him about everything. If I tell him that I really do know what’s going on with Connie, what’s really going on, then maybe he’ll be able to let me go. It’ll be easier now, then when I’m a demon. Maybe it will make it easier for both of us. He’s risking everything for me, and I’m about to be gone.
He hangs up the phone and I look toward him. This is my chance to finally set him free.
“Carter, I need to tell you now,” I say as he steps closer toward me. “I’m doing the Restitution.”
He steps away from me. “What?”
I might as well get out with it. “I’m almost ready. That’s what I’ve been planning and working on all this time with Lia.”
“You can’t,” he says. The strain in his forehead, the strain in his jaw, the blaze in his eyes all say more than his words. His whole body screams at me. I hate it, but now I’ve come too far. “You can’t do that. Not right now.”
My stomach is bouncing, swaying. I need him to understand this. “It’s the only way.”
“The only way to what?”
I stare at him. How is he not getting this? “To save my sister, and the Statics.”
“How is that
exactly?”
I look away, so I don’t have to see his face. Seeing his reaction is worse than hearing it. “I’ll restore Lia, and then take her place long enough to get to Azsis. And when I do, everything will be back to normal. Undone.”
He’s staring at me when I look back. He thinks I’m crazy. Maybe this is crazy.
“You can’t do this,” he finally says. When he does, I notice the look in his eye is the same as the one Jordan Stark wore. Disgust. “I am a demon. So are you. This is for Connie, and everyone else.”
“This isn’t the way,” he says, shaking his head. “Not like this.”
I choose not to look at his eyes anymore. Not even to look at him. I don’t need his approval for this, or his support. I knew he wouldn’t understand what I’m doing. That’s why I didn’t tell him. He doesn’t have a sister to worry about. He’s never had anyone like that. I keep my gaze focused on everything else in front of me. On the city. On the cars. On the trees in the breeze. “It’s the only way to have everything fixed.”
He scoffs beside me, but I still don’t look. “I know what this is really about—the magic.”
I can’t believe he’s even suggesting that. Yes, I like the magic—but it’s my sister. “No, it’s about Connie. I’d do this even if I couldn’t get my magic back.” He tries to grab me but I sidestep from him. If I can barely look at him, then I definitely can’t touch him. “I thought you’d understand. Out of everyone, I thought you would get why I need to do this.”
“I don’t,” he says.
It’s proof that I was wrong before. I’m too much of a girl, controlled by desire and emotions. He doesn’t understand me, because if he did then he’d get how much I need this. For Connie, for the Statics, and yes, even for myself. I can’t live with all the things I’ve done when I have a chance to fix them.
“This won’t undo anything,” he practically whispers but it echoes through the darkness. “You don’t have all the details,” I say, finally looking back at him. Bad decision. Our eyes meeting makes it easy to want to be a simple girl. It makes me remember the cute, annoying boy who pursued me and kept my secret and loved me. The one I had before when I was the old me.
Carter sighs, but his eyes are still blazing with energy and emotion. With a nod, he reaches out for my hand. “Listen, tell me what’s happening. I need to understand. How can you do it?”
“I’ve been working with the Lia to learn the void.”
Carter squeezes my hand, and his eyes widen. “You can’t trust her.”
“Then who can I trust?” I shout. It echoes through the trees and disappears somewhere over the hill.
“Me,” he whispers.
I laugh, and it’s totally in a funny-ironic-hateful way. From the brokenness and anger on his face, he picks up on it. “You gave me up for your dad, Carter, so no. I can’t.”
“Penelope, don’t walk away. Don’t do this.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Carter
Penelope looks at me, and I don’t know who she is anymore. She’s angry, and it practically comes off her in waves. This isn’t her. Not this girl right here in front of me. This girl saying she’s giving up her life for a demon.
That’s it. They’re trying to get her to come to their side. She’s the sole witch, and if she chooses to work for the demons, then they’ll destroy the witches. I’ve been trying to tell her for weeks now about the pieces of information that I put together, and I didn’t fully understand, but now I do. This was the plan all along—to get her to their side.
“What you’re doing with the Restitution and the demons, it’s not what you think it is.”
Her face gets red, and I swear for a moment her eyes flash a shade of green. I have to be imagining that. “You’re desperate to keep me from my magic. You’d risk my sister for that?”
“That is so not what this about. The demons are using you to get to the dagger. That’s all they want.”
Then, she’s in my face, inches from it. Her skin is red, her eyes large and hot. She’s not being rational. “Listen to yourself. I can’t, Carter. This is over. I’m done.”
I freeze when she walks away. As if she punched me in the gut. “What are you talking about?” She’s not thinking. “No. No way. I’m not walking away from you right now.”
“You don’t have to,” she says with a pause. “I’m walking away from you.”
This isn’t her talking. It’s not her. “Penelope.”
“I don’t want to pretend—and you aren’t supposed to be around me anyway. I’m doing you a favor.”
I grab her hand. She tries to pull it away from me, but she can’t. I’m holding too tightly. I need her to listen. “This isn’t you. You aren’t thinking straight. It’s the void and the demons want the dagger and—”
“Stop it.”
But I won’t stop. Not now that I’ve finally got her listening. “They’ve had their eyes on you for months. It’s all been for this. The Restitution isn’t going to undo any of this. It’s going to hurt people.”
She shakes her head and tries to pull away from me. Her arm twists my hand around, but I don’t let go. That’s when I see it. Her pinky nail is completely black, and this dark trail travels up her hand. I slide up her sleeve. It’s over her wrist, up her arm…
“What’s this?”
She tries to pull her hand away, but I hold on to it and draw her closer. I run my fingers over the black in her veins. I did see something before. This is not good. Whatever it is. “What is this?”
“Let me go,” she hisses through clenched teeth. But I don’t.
“Penelope, what—what is this?” She bites her lip, and doesn’t answer me. That first mark on her nail appeared after our test, when she used the void. “This is the magic, isn’t it? The void.”
She tries to get loose from me again. I refuse to let go.
“Tell me,” I say.
“I said let go,” she shouts, and when she does, a bright light shoots out of her. It knocks me to the ground and knocks the wind out of me. Holy shit. That was her, that light in the warehouse. She really can control it. I start to stand, slowly, but my mind is racing.
“Did I hurt you, too?” she says, her voice full of panic.
Suddenly, I realize she’s what happened to Connie. The way she’s looking at me, on the verge of tears and her face red. A wild, uncontrollable fear dances in her eyes. It’s the same wide-eyed readiness that Lindley Arthur had. It’s the same look Taylor Plum had that day.
I hold out my hands so she doesn’t think I’m trying to harm her, and so she can see me. “I’m fine,” I say, trying my best to sound assuring. Even from a few feet away I can tell she’s shaking. She looks like Taylor when she killed Maple, nervous and terrified. “I’m fine, Pen.”
She nods, wrapping her hands around her stomach. I move toward her slowly. “We can fix this. I can protect you.”
Like a switch, those words change her. She jerks her head up and pushes me away. “I don’t need you to protect me. It’s too late. This is done.”
I shake my head. Her face is so steady, so emotionless, so unlike her. “I told you once I’d fight for you, and I meant it. Even now.”
I take another step forward, watching the tears streaming down her cheek.
“Don’t. Don’t come near me. Don’t follow me.”
“Pen—”
Then she runs.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Penelope
Black veins creep over my chin and up my cheek. That last jolt with Carter has nearly put me over the edge. I pull a hood over my head and try to blend in as I walk through Clarendon, people moving in and out of shops around me. The void is ready. I feel it as if it’s crawling under my skin, waiting. I make a fist with my hands.
The void guides me, burning and itching and waiting for release. With each step I take, each inch I move, it gets hungrier. The blackness seems to be tingling, like a beacon leading me forward, or calling the other demons to me.
I’m a trail of breadcrumbs. A rainbow leading to a pot of gold.
I pass a man on the street that I recognize from Enforcer meetings. The void stirs in my stomach. Even though I don’t want to, I stop in the middle of the street and watch as he approaches. He notices me staring and his gaze rest on me while he walks. Does he recognize me? I walk faster, the void burning in my fingers, my arm, all down the trail that it’s created through my body. It wants out. It wants to fight that Enforcer.
I won’t do that. I squeeze my hand tighter until the fingernails stab into my palm.
“Is everything all right, miss?”
I nod, not sure I can manage to talk. Please walk past me.
Instinct says to run, but if I run then he’ll chase me. So, I nod with a smile, and then I stay frozen in the spot on the sidewalk until the Enforcer passes. I stay frozen there until the magic settles down enough that I don’t feel like puking on my own shoes. Until I can’t feel my fingers from squeezing them so hard. When I’m able, I walk toward Lia where should be. This is almost over, only a few more hours. But now Carter knows the plan. Is what he said true? That she’s using me? He wouldn’t lie to me. But he doesn’t understand. I push the thought away. I need to get to Lia, to ask her, to get answers.
The whole time I head in the direction of her favorite hangout, I can’t shake the feeling he’s more right than Lia is. The void scares me a little. It’s not even fully part of me yet, and I have to fight it so hard. That should make me stop, but Connie is still on my mind. It’s not about me or what I have to go through. This is about my sister, about the Statics.
The wind is harsh and bitter as I get off the metro, almost cold. So far from the norm for August. The usual steam of the summer sun is gone, and I miss it. I miss a lot of things.
The magic tingles at my skin, making me feel more on edge than usual. The magic seems to be trying to rip its way out of me, and every inch of blackness burns through me. I am water on a cloth, soaking through.
Storm: a Salt novel (Entangled Teen) Page 21
