by M.L. Cameron
practice?” I asked and she shrugged. That was Scarlett’s code for, please, I don’t want to ask and make you feel obligated but I need it and I know you’ll help. “How about you go get the music and I’ll change.”
She nodded and disappeared down the stairs. I sighed and stretched.
Anastasia
I opened my eyes and realized I was asleep. When had I fallen asleep? I asked myself and felt my kitten padding on the bed beside me. When had Luke left? I must have fallen asleep at the table. Which meant he brought me to bed… Of course. I smiled to myself at the thought of Luke.
I heard my door open. “You’re awake?” my dad asked and I nodded, sitting up. “How did you sleep?”
“All right.” I waited for him to say something about my dancing. Luke would have told him when he asked what we had done.
“That’s good. How was your lesson?”
My father wasn’t one to beat around the bush, he liked to get right to the point. “It was good, lots of reading.”
“That’s what Luke said. All right, there’s dinner if you want it.” I remembered what Luke had said about me needing to eat… Maybe I would eat something. “I’ve got a late shift tonight but you have your cell phone next to you on your night stand. Just call if you need something. All right?” I nodded.
He started to walk away. “Daddy?” I said and he stopped. “I love you.”
“I love you too honey.”
A few minutes later I heard the front door close. If he wasn’t home then the entire kitchen and maid staff was. I took a deep breath and stood up. Nothing about the dancing… No questions or comments… Maybe Luke hadn’t told him. Why wouldn’t he though? I traced my way along my wall to the closet and changed into pajama’s.
Luke
Trust me Scarlett I don’t think it’s anything you’re doing wrong. I think it’s your partner’s fault.” She shrugged and took a deep breath.
“But why can’t he do it?” she asked, sitting beside me on the studio floor. “This recital could mean a tour for me. I can’t miss these lifts.”
“I don’t know what else to do. Let’s run through it again.”
We stood up and she walked to the far side of the room. I hit play on the stereo and waited. She fell into step and jumped on the cue. I lifted her with ease and dropped her back to the floor. “Why can’t he do that?” she asked, stressed and annoyed.
“What do you want to do about it?” I asked her.
“I don’t know what I can do. We can’t switch lift partners, everyone else has gotten them perfectly. Could you come to rehearsal tomorrow and watch? Maybe it’ll help?” I didn’t really like going to the studio while they were rehearsing. “Please Luke? You know I need this.”
“Maybe, I don’t know if I’m supposed to be tutoring tomorrow or not. But I have to go to my first class and then go check on Anastasia and maybe I’ll come by towards the end. Okay?”
She nodded, for once not begging to meet Anastasia.
♪♪♪
I turned the papers in to the school guidance counselor and she smiled. “You two got a lot done,” she commented and I nodded. “You know Luke, she really does need this.”
“I know. And I’m willing to help.”
I left the school and began the drive to Anastasia’s house. Maybe we would actually do some work and I wouldn’t have to go to the rehearsal. My phone rang and I reached for it. “Hello?”
“It’s Nick Faith. Luke, are you doing anything?”
“Not really. I was on my way to check on Anastasia, like you asked me to.”
“Okay, that’s good… could you take her somewhere. Anywhere. She’s been sitting in the house for a week now.”
“I would but the only place I have to go after this is to my sister’s dance rehearsal.”
“It doesn’t matter, she can’t see it anyways.”
I sighed. “All right. What time do you want her home?”
“I don’t care, as long as she does something.”
♪♪♪
Anastasia was sitting at the dining room table when I walked in. A chef was standing beside her, asking what she could possibly want to eat. “Please Anastasia. I’ll make anything. You’re father says you need to eat.”
I stepped into the room and the chef looked up. “Who’s here?” Anastasia asked quietly.
“I am.”
“Oh. But you were here yesterday…”
“Yes I was. But your father asked me to come check on you. And you really should eat something.”
The chef nodded. “Her father says she must eat, he said that it was doctors orders but everything I make, she will not eat. I don’t know what to do.” The chef wasn’t upset, he seemed worried. Maybe for his job.
“I’ll talk to her,” I said. The chef nodded and walked back to the kitchen. “Not hungry?” I asked and Anastasia shrugged. “Or do you just not want to eat?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be my tutor? Not my guardian?”
“Uh, the job description required both. What do you want to eat?” I asked and she shrugged again. “What about one brownie?”
She didn’t move. She was considering it. “Maybe… One.”
“Good and then I’ll tell you where your father wants me to take you.” I walked into the kitchen and the chef was pacing nervously. “She said she’d eat a brownie. But only one, so get the biggest brownie you can find. And then put strawberries on it.”
The chef nodded and pulled a cover off a plate of brownies and began to compare. I waited until he handed me a plate. I took it with the fork he held out and went back to Anastasia. “Here you are,” I said and put the plate in front of her.
I sat down and she slowly started to eat her brownie and strawberries. “Where does my father want you to take me?”
“Well, he said that I don’t have to tell you because you can’t see it anyway. But I’m going to tell you because I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“Okay…”
“My sister is at a rehearsal and she needs me to help her partner get a lift. Your father asked me to take you out of the house but once I leave here that’s where I have to go. So… Would you like to come? After I’ll take you anywhere you want to go, I just don’t want you to feel upset. And your father might kill me if I don’t bring you with me.”
She didn’t answer for a long time. I wasn’t sure what she was thinking but I knew she was considering at least. She ate another strawberry and shuddered. I wondered idly if she was cold… “All right,” she whispered, “as long as it’s not long.”
“Just enough time to talk a guy into catching my baby sister.”
She nodded and took another small bite. “I’m done.”
“Two more bites and then you’re done.” Two more bites and at least half of what she had been given would be gone. I smiled and she paused for a second.
“Luke?” she murmured and I waited…
She didn’t say anything else. “Yes?”
“What do you look like?” She cleared her throat and shifted in her seat, taking another quick bite of her brownie.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean… Never mind. I’m going to go change. Then we can leave.”
She stood up and left the room. I shook my head and then realized what she meant. She literally wanted to know what I looked like. I smiled to myself and nodded. I would tell her, but in small doses. And nothing but the truth. Telling her a lie would be completely pointless.
I stood up and went to the foyer to wait. When Anastasia came back she was wearing shorts and a tank top. She was shorter than I was, but most girls were. I opened the front door and she took a deep breath. “Ready?” She nodded and I took her hand, she couldn’t see and my guess was she wouldn’t use a walking stick.
Guiding her with just one hand was hard so I tucked one arm around her waist and led her to the car. I opened the door and helped her get in. I sat behind the wheel and started the car. “What do you think about being blind?
” I asked and started to drive away from the house.
“What do I think? I don’t understand the question.”
“When you know there’s a mirror, but you can’t see yourself, what do you think?”
“Sometimes I’m afraid… other times I’m upset. Supposedly there’s a surgery that could make me see again but it’s risky.”
“It’s all up to you in the end.”
I took a deep breath and turned onto the road to the studio. “Maybe.”
The studio was huge, only half of it was actually in use. I parked in an open spot next to Scarlett’s Porsche. I got out and walked to the other side of the car. “Before we go in,” I started, helping Anastasia out of the car, “If you want to leave, at any time, just say the word and we’re out.”
“What’s the word?”
“I don’t know. What would you like it to be?” I asked leading her slowly to the front door.
“Hmm… Pancakes, I don’t really like pancakes.”
I smiled, at least she still had a sense of humor. “Pancakes it is.”
I opened the door with one hand and led with the other. “All right, come on then.”
We walked past the reception desk and past a couple of studio rooms. My sister would be working in studio D. I opened the door with a giant D on it and sat Anastasia down on a chair next to the door. “It should only be a little while.”
She nodded and stared blankly ahead. I looked around the room at the dancers. I spotted Scarlett who was sitting on the floor, nearly in tears. The instructor looked over at me and I walked to them. “Luke! What are you doing here?” the teacher asked and I shrugged.
“Scar mentioned she wasn’t being caught, so I figured I’d drop by. See what was going on.”
“I’m not exactly sure why he isn’t catching her. Maybe you could watch.”
“All right.”
“All right, all right!” the instructor, Maria, called and the class quieted then came to a stop. They separated to the sides of the room and waited. “Okay, try the lift,” she instructed and they separated to the two different sides. “One and two and three go five, six, seven, eight.”
They came together, Scarlett had no hesitation, even though she figured she would be dropped. He grabbed her waist and I followed every movement. Halfway up he lost the grip and they both tumbled to the ground. Scarlett cried out and I fell to her side. “Are you all right?” I asked and she grimaced. “What hurts?”
“Everything right now. I haven’t had such an inadequate partner in years. The recital is in three weeks.”
“All right, do it one more time and we’ll take it step by step.”
She nodded and I helped her to her feet. Her partner shook his head and went to the other side of the room. “All right, step one,” Maria said and the each took their first step. “Two.” It went like that to the lift.
He stumbled just picking her up. “Had he ever done a proper lift before?”
Maria looked ashamed. “He’s never done a lift in a recital?” She shook her head slowly. “Why in the hell is he dancing with my sister!?” I exclaimed and she took a deep breath.
“I know that she needs a good partner but she’s the lightest in the class and the light girls are always easy to lift.”
“No! She could get hurt.”
“There’s no one else to partner with her. I’m sorry Luke but there’s no other option unless we pull them entirely.”
I shook my head and started to pace. “There has to be something. Damn it. Do the lift again. With the music.” I turned and watched. I made them go it three times before Scarlet fell and gasped in pain.
“Luke, I can’t do it again. I can’t,” she cried and Maria took a deep breath. “Please don’t make me do it again.”
“All right…” I let out a breath. I hated seeing her in pain but I hated the fact that she was put with an amateur even more. Maria pulled the three of us aside and set the rest of the dancers to their rehearsal.
“I won’t have her falling on stage.”
“There is nothing else to be done.”
I ran my hands through my hair and took a sharp breath in.
Scarlett laid her hand on my arm and rolled her opposite shoulder. “You need to back off,” her partner said and I turned to glare at him. Scar took her hand back.
“Excuse me?”
“I can get the damn lift. She hesitates every time and it’s that half beat the screws all of it up.”
I shook my head. “You don’t have any experience with lifts which is the problem. You need to be comfortable with your partner to do a lift and you aren’t. I will not have her on stage with you.”
“What if you did the lift?” Scarlett asked and I looked down at her. “I know, dad will be mad but I need this performance. Please Luke?”
“Maria?” I said and looked to the instructor.
“I don’t see why not. You know the routines well enough. With a couple of weeks of practice you could have it down.”
“What!? I need this too!” Scarlett’s partner said and I glared again.
“She could get hurt.”
“There’s a bigger chance of her falling out on the street than falling in a lift and getting hurt.”
I shut my eyes and tried to remain calm. “One out of every two dancers is injured in a lift. I will not have you lift her again.”
“I need this recital.”
“And I need my sister unharmed.”
“Luke,” I heard softly and I turned to Scarlett. “Luke...” I heard it again and turned to see Anastasia with her eyes closed, her hands gripping the sides of the chair. Tears streaked down her cheeks.
Scarlett’s jaw dropped and I moved quickly through the dancers to Anastasia’s side. I touched her hand and knelt beside her. “Can we go now?” she whispered and I lifted her into my arms. Her hands clasped around my neck and her face buried into my shoulder.
“It’s all right,” I murmured and carried her from the room. I walked out of the building and sat on one of the benches outside. “Are you all right?” I asked, smoothing her hair from her face.
“I’m fine… I just… couldn’t breathe… You can put me down now.” She didn’t release her hold around my neck though. I pulled her a little closer.
“This is nice. Are you feeling better?” She nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really…” she muttered.
“Okay… we could talk about what I look like.” She needed to be talked down, away from the thoughts of dance and the fall. “My eyes are brown, or at least that’s what it says in my baby book. Scarlett says that my eyes are hazel, sometimes brown, sometimes green.”
I wondered idly how long it would take Scarlett to come out and see us. “They sound pretty…”
“Now do you want to talk about what happened?”
She took a deep breath. “I don’t know what happened. I could hear her fall and every time it was like I could feel my fall again. And then she cried out and I knew that’s what I must have sounded like when James dropped me. But you were there… Every time. No one was there for me like that.”
“When did you first start freaking out?”
“The first time she fell,” she admitted slowly.
“Why didn’t you ask me to take you out?”
“Because I thought I could handle it…”
“You know, you don’t always have to handle everything.”
For a second, my eyes met hers and I felt like she could see me. The doors burst open and the illusion shattered. “So, I’ve been back there trying to figure out what just happened, but… What happened? Oh my gosh, you’re Anastasia Faith.”
Anastasia stood up and I stood beside her, resting an arm around her waist, for support, and balance if she needed it. “Yes I am,” Anastasia whispered.
“You… You’re… She’s… She’s here?”
I nodded. “Ana, this is my sister Scarlett.”
“I can’t believe I’m meeti
ng you. Luke told me he wouldn’t let me meet you for weeks, possibly months. Oh my gosh. What am I doing talking. I should be asking questions. I’ll change, rehearsal is over and… then… would you mind if I asked you some things?” Anastasia held her breath and shook her head. “Thank you, so much.”
Scarlett ran back into the studio and Anastasia fell onto the bench. “You don’t have to answer anything you’re uncomfortable with,” I said to her quietly. She nodded.
“Luke?” she whispered. And I waited. “How are you okay with all of this? You barely know me… But it seems like you care…”
“I wouldn’t expect you to remember me. When Scar’s done asking her endless list of questions we can talk, about anything you want to talk about.”
She nodded and Scar came running from the studio, jeans and a t-shirt messily pulled on. Anastasia sighed, she seemed to lean against me a little more. I smiled and Scarlett looked from me to her, then back again. “You’re lucky she can’t see you.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” I said and glared at Scarlett.
She sat down next to Anastasia. “I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you… Wow. I… I don’t even know where to start. I have so many questions.”
“Why don’t you start with the first one you say,” Anastasia suggested.
“Why did you dance?”
“I danced because my mother danced. She was my inspiration until she died when I was six. She was in a car accident. Though you probably know that. If you know anything about me.”
Scarlett nodded. “I know… um… If you danced for her then why did you keep dancing after she died?”
“I promised her…” Anastasia whispered. “I promised her that I would keep dancing. Every day before we started and every day when we turned the studio light off she made me promise her that I would never give up the thing I loved the most…”
“Can I ask you something about the fall?”
Anastasia nodded. “I might not answer. But you can ask.”
“Were you afraid?”
“No. I wasn’t. I learned through many harmless falls that being afraid could hurt me more than complete trust.”
“Did you know your partner?”
“Yes. James and I had worked together many times. He didn’t mean to drop me, I didn’t mean to fall. But things happen…”
I took a deep breath. Scarlett needed to ask a different sort of question. “How do you feel when you dance?”
“I feel alone. Yet surrounded at the same time. I don’t know if that makes sense. But it does to me. I’m alone, it’s always a solo performance no matter who’s with you. But there is always someone watching, someone to see what you’re doing.”
“I… You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to… I should be getting home anyways but… What won’t you dance anymore?”
“I don’t really know right now…”
Scarlett stood up. I knew she had a thousand more questions. “Thank you, for talking to me. You’ll be home later Luke?” I shrugged. “Well if you aren’t there’s a rehearsal tomorrow. You have to get fitted for a costume.”
“Don’t tell Dad though,” I said as she turned to her car.
“Okay… You know he’s going to find out… You really don’t have to do this Luke…”
“No. You need this.”
She nodded and got in her silver Porsche.
♪♪♪
What is it?” she asked and I laughed. “No, seriously, what are you trying to feed me?”
“Just try it. Come on.”
I smiled at her and held up the ice cream in front of her. “Maybe, if you got out a little I wouldn’t have to do this. Try it,” I insisted.
Her mouth opened and I put the spoon in her mouth. She shut her eyes and sighed. “What is that?”
“It’s this amazing thing called ice cream.”
She smiled “I know what ice cream is, that is not vanilla ice cream.”
“No, it isn’t.”
We were sitting in a park, on the part of the jungle gym where the slide started and the stairs ended, we were squished onto the platform, even though we could have just sat on the ground, or at one of the tables… One of my knees was bumped against Anastasia’s and the ice cream sat on my opposite thigh. She sat cross legged beside me.
“Then what is it?”
“It’s strawberry ice cream, with pieces of brownie, I think that there’s some chocolate fudge in there somewhere. You’ve never had any other ice cream?”
“No, when I was little I got one scoop every other day, and it was always vanilla. And then when I got older, I stopped eating it. Like the brownies, I wasn’t supposed to have them while doing dance. Can I ask you a question about your sister?”
“Sure.”
She pulled on the hem of her jeans for a second and then asked, “When did she start dancing?”
“When she was twelve. You were in the talent show and she thought that was what she wanted to do more than anything in the world.”
“How long have you danced with her?”
“Since she started.”
“Why doesn’t your dad want you to dance?”
“He thinks it isn’t appropriate for boys.”
She nodded and I held a spoon of ice cream in front of her. “How long have you known me?”
“Bite,” I said and she opened her mouth. “When we were in kindergarten the first day we had to stand up and say our names, then we had to say something interesting about ourselves. You stood up, said your name and then said, ‘I dance.’ The teacher asked what you meant and you said it again. That’s how long I’ve known you.”
She smiled a little and bit her lower lip. “I can’t believe I’ve never noticed you…”
“You did notice me. Up until third grade. Then we were in different classes and after that we just sort of stopped talking. You fell in with your crowd and I hung out with a few all right kind of people.”
“None of them have come to see me…” she whispered.
“Maybe, none of them were your real friends,” I suggested gently and she shrugged. “So have you had a good time?”
She smiled. “Yeah, for the first time in a while.”
“Good.” I smiled at her and took one of her hands. She couldn’t see me but she still blushed. “What do you want to talk about now?”
“What kind of girls do you like?” she asked and I traced my thumb over her palm.
Her blonde hair fell across her shoulders, down her back and over her chest. Her hand was soft in mine, soft and milk white. “That’s a heavy question. What kind of girls do I like? I’ve dated girls before.” I felt her hand stiffen a little, jealousy? What would she want me for? “Some of them were popular, I went out with one girl because Scarlett thought she was perfect for me. Most girls usually remind me of Scarlett, and it’s weird to be watching a movie feeling like your sister is sitting beside you. I usually like girls that don’t remind me of Scar.”
“Do I remind you of her?”
“In some ways.” Her face visibly fell. “Like the fact that you both have outstanding talent. But going home last night a lot of the things in her reminded me of you.”
She relaxed and sighed. “Would you believe me if I told you I have never gone out with anyone before?”
“Probably not to be honest.”
“No one ever does. This is as close to a date as I’ve ever been.” I knew she wasn’t lying when she tilted her head down and attempted to tug her hand from mine. She thought that once I learned that I would turn away.
I held her hand tight. “All right, we should get going. Do you want to go home, or come home with me and meet my family?”
“When do I have to be home?”
“Your dad said he didn’t care.”
“And your parents don’t mind?”
I was already standing up, pulling her to her feet. I held the dish of melting ice cream in my other hand. I led her off the jungle gym and as
we passed the trash can I stopped. “One sec, I’ve got to throw this out.” I started to walk away but she tugged on my hand. “Or do you want it?”
She answered with a big smile. I hadn’t seen her smile like that in years. “All right, but you get to carry it.” I handed it to her and we headed to the car. A little boy ran down the sidewalk beside us and his grandmother came grinning behind him.
“Good afternoon,” she said and nodded at
