by Zoey Parker
I used my empty water glass as an excuse to lengthen their time together, bringing it back into the kitchen for a refill. “Oh, calm down, Jack. Just sit down with him and let him lay on your chest. He just wants body contact. You’re fine.”
Jack’s face reflected his anxiety, but he reclined on the couch with his head propped up and did as suggested, and we were both rewarded with an almost immediate cessation of baby noise. Peter laid his cheek on Jack’s pec and settled right in. Jack’s face looked funny, as he peered down at the little one with a mix of distrust and bemusement. But when I reentered the room with my water and sat back comfortably on the other half of the couch, Jack pinned me with a piercing look, clearly nonplussed at my lack of maternal possessiveness.
From my vantage point, though, I was totally winning. The image of big tough hot Jack with my baby boy cuddled close on his chest was To Die For. It was so sexy and beautiful, and I just gazed at the two of them in a kind of blissed-out haze for a minute—or two, or three. Really, I have no idea how long it lasted.
Eventually, I felt a nudge on my leg, and I came to with a little jump.
“Wha—?”
“You went to la-la-land,” he said with a smirk. I blushed, knowing he must have been able to track the turn of my thoughts easily. He knew how good he looked. And now, he knew how good he and Peter looked together. We had both just learned that the combination, to me, was kryptonite.
I forced myself to look away, just to get my equilibrium back. Water glass to the rescue.
By the time I returned my attention to Jack, I caught him gazing down at Peter with a kind of wonder in his eyes. I might have even gone so far as to say adoration. Peter really was beautiful, in his way. He was soft and sweet and warm like a little bean, and he inspired love in everyone he’d come across to date.
Jack, it seemed, was just as susceptible as the rest of us. His face had softened, and his body had relaxed under the small weight and warmth on his chest, and his hands had naturally rested lightly atop Peter’s back, securing him in place. As proud mommy to my little warrior, I loved seeing it.
“You look so good together.” Apparently, my mouth was in a sharing mood—the words just popped out, no filter.
“Yeah?” Even Jack’s voice, in its grumble, seemed warmer. Happier.
“Yeah.”
“Tell me about him.”
Wow. Jack had just given me the opening I’d had no idea I needed, but hadn’t known how to find.
“Peter’s…Peter’s a miracle.” Already I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but there was no way I was going to get through this tale without crying some, so I didn’t try to fight them. I grabbed some paper napkins from the pizza delivery on the coffee table, and began to share what Jack should know.
“He was born early—really early, at thirty-two weeks.”
Jack’s face was a blank, and I realized that that number meant nothing to him.
“Okay, so normal pregnancies last for forty weeks. He was eight weeks early. That’s close to a full two months. He was only four pounds, one ounce, and he lost weight after he was born. He was so tiny. But he’s eleven weeks old now, so he’s doing pretty well, considering. But…” The tears started spilling, and I looked away, trying to control my breathing enough to go on. This was always the worst part, and I hadn’t yet learned how to tell it well.
“But…? Ellie, spill. That was one hell of a ‘but’. He looks okay to me, it can’t be that bad.”
“Peter has a congenital heart defect. It was discovered when he was four weeks old—he was still in the hospital. He’d been having some trouble feeding, sweating through his onesies. God, I was so scared. But they did a bunch of tests and figured out what was wrong. There were some issues with the left side of his heart, and they were able to fix the worst part with a surgery, but he’ll have to go back for more operations as he gets older and bigger and stronger. So it’s not over, not really. But he’s a fighter; he’ll make it. He’ll make it.” My tears poured. Peter would make it, but I wasn’t so sure about myself. I was still a wreck, every time I let myself think about it.
Jack looked torn. His hands pressed Peter with even more warmth, more care now. More love. I don’t know how I could see that, but I could. At this point, Jack’s eyes were on me, and he looked pissed off and worried and frustrated, all at the same time. Like he didn’t know how to keep hold of Peter, but he was also obviously unhappy about my crying, and wanted to do something to counter it. I couldn’t tell if it was a general uneasiness with a woman’s tears, or a reaction specific to my sob story and that of my baby.
And damn, but I hated that I was so stereotypical. Sob story. It was my reality, though, and if it made me cry, I’d own it. I had earned these tears, damn it.
“Okay, Ellie. I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe…if this little guy is actually Keith’s—and I want to believe that he is, I’m telling you that right now—if he is, you have to know I’ll do anything I can to help you out. Long haul. I’m all in. Damn, how long is that test going to take? When’s the next surgery? Is he okay? He’s not going to suffocate on me or anything, is he? Should you take him from me now? I don’t want to hurt him.”
“No, no, he’s fine. He’s okay. He’s good right now. Look, he fell asleep on you. He’s good where he is.”
“I think you should take him back. Like, now.” Jack looked agitated. Actually, that was an understatement. Jack looked about ready to jump out of his own skin.
I got up and gathered my little sleepy bean into my arms and kissed his sweet head. The moment Jack was free, he jumped up and started pacing the room, running his hands through his hair. I watched him for a minute, then moved toward my room to put the baby down.
Jack body-blocked me, gently putting his hands on my shoulders and protectively keeping space for Peter between us. “Where are you going?”
“I’m just gonna lay him down in his basket. It’ll be easier for him to sleep where it’s quieter. He wakes up really easily.” And I disappeared for a minute into my room. Petey was totally out, so I was back in less than a minute.
“You’re sure he’s okay in there? What if something happens and we don’t…we gotta get one of those radio things. Shit. Where do we get one of those radio things for babies?”
“You mean a baby monitor? They have ’em all over the place. We can pick one up tomorrow if you want.”
“Yeah. Okay. We gotta do that. Might go tonight, get some stuff. That’d be good, right?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Jack. That’d be really good.” I smiled at him. This man was turning into a hero before my eyes. I knew it was dangerous, all these feels I was having toward and about him, but I couldn’t help it. I was blown away by the leaps in generosity and kindness he was showing. Maybe Jack would be the answer...
“…so I can get that, too. And you probably need diapers, right? Anything else? Hey. Hey! Yo, Ellie, babe. Come back. You wandered off again.”
“Oh, jeez. I’m sorry.” I shook my head, realizing that Jack had sat down at the dividing bar between the kitchen and living room and was making a list. Man of action. I liked that.
“Check it out. Add on whatever you think you need, and I’ll make a run. No point waiting, right? Store’s open. You finish the list, I’m gonna hit the head and then gone. ’Kay?”
“’Kay.” And I applied myself to the list, adjusting it mostly for sizes and best-use frugality, as had been my MO for most of my adult life.
When Jack came back from the bathroom, he took up the list, then came right up to me, front-to-front, and put his arms around me in a huge bear hug. I was a little bit shocked at first, not expecting that at all, but he held on for so long that I finally relaxed into it and breathed.
He smelled so good—damn, I felt a flush of damp in my panties again—but he also just felt so big and strong, like a boulder that wouldn’t let me fall, and I breathed him in deeply.
Eventually, he pulled away a few inches, looked deeply i
nto my eyes, and swore, “He’s going to be good, Ellie. He will.”
I don’t know if he was saying it for my sake or for his own, but it was both a promise and a prayer. It was deep. I nodded, and he slowly leaned in and kissed my lips.
His lips were warm and soft and firm all at the same time. He didn’t try to deepen it, but he didn’t make it quick. It was so sexy, just a small taste, a testing of the waters. But the intention behind it was more than that—it was a kind of confirmation that I wasn’t alone now. There was an empathy, a togetherness.
I took full advantage of the moment and breathed in his scent—I’m pretty sure he did the same to me—which only confirmed that this man and I had some serious chemistry together. He smelled and felt amazing. I wanted the kiss to go on forever.
But just as I was about to open my mouth to him, he lifted his mouth away, ending the connection.
His eyes stayed on my mouth for several moments, and then shifted up to meet my eyes. We both just held that look, still breathing one another in.
Then his arms fell away. He picked up the shopping list and, pointing to the notepad on the counter, muttered, “You need me, my number’s there. Put it first in your phone.”
Chapter 7
Jack
I couldn’t stop thinking about the baby and about all that Ellie had been through with him already. I’d only known them for just over a week, but they were both already setting in deep under my skin. This whole day at the shop was dragging like molasses—just like every other day since they walked into my shop. I only wanted to be back home, with them, spending time and…I don’t know. Just spending time.
As far as Ellie went, I was clear on one point for certain: I wanted her. She was sexy as fuck. She was beautiful, soft, strong, fiery, funny, smart, and fucking hot. Just thinking about her got me hard. I was spending a lot of time forcing myself to think about post-workout athletic socks and shoes, in an attempt at calming my dick down.
Thoughts of Peter—of that tiny little humanoid body, that soft little head and fisting hand—filled the rest of my time. I still couldn’t tell if he looked like Keith, and it kind of pissed me off that both Trini and Grath, those bastards, laughed at me and said I was blind not to see the resemblance. How the hell could they see it? Babies all looked alike. Period, end of.
But I was starting to really believe it, that Peter was Keith’s, and therefore, in a roundabout way, mine. Mine now, because Keith couldn’t be here. Yeah, definitely mine.
And that made Ellie…mine. Not quite sure on what grounds, but I was definitely feeling some strong possessive and protective instincts over her, too.
And when I thought about Ellie being mine…yeah, the sex thing again. Damn, she was hot. And there was definitely a firestorm of chemistry between us. That would play out. I knew it, I felt it, I wanted it, I was gonna make sure that happened.
Except…aw, fuck. If Peter was Keith’s, thus mine, then that meant that I needed things with Ellie to be copacetic, long-term. I knew I had to wait to see how the test came back, and make sure that no matter what, sex with Ellie was not going to interfere with my place in Peter’s life, if it came back positive. Because no way would I let there be any interference there. If that boy was of my blood, then they were stuck with me. I was gonna be hands-on and all in.
Damn, and that right there was enough to throw my mind back to Ellie, and images of my hands on her, and myself all in, then out, pounding in, sliding out. Fuuuck. I wanted her like no one else I could think of.
“Jack! Dude! Jack, nine-one-one!” Trini was running back to my office, her eyes wide and her phone in her hand.
I snapped to attention. “What? What the fuck, Trini? Where’s the fucking fire?”
“It’s Ellie. Or it’s the baby. Or, I don’t know! But it’s at your house. Something is happening at your house, and I don’t know what it is, but…”
I was on my feet at ‘Ellie,’ grabbing my keys and scanning my office for my wallet, sloshing papers off my desk and causing a general disaster, but not giving a damn about it.
“I’m out.” I was practically running through the shop to get to my bike.
“Call me with an…” I heard as the door swung shut behind me.
No more than six minutes later I pulled up to my place, which already had a small bunch of my MC brothers’ bikes parked out front in a less-than-organized fashion. This was not the Iron Bandits’ way, and I knew my brothers had my back, that they had rushed to get here just as fast as I had.
I didn’t see fire or smoke, I didn’t see ambulances or cop cars. I didn’t see Ellie. I didn’t see anything off.
I did see my front door open on its hinges, and our chapter road captain, Hops, ready and waiting for me there.
“Come on, Jack-o. It’s good you got here.”
“What the fuck is going on?” I needed info, stat.
“First, you gotta know, everyone is all right. No one got hurt. Girl’s fine, baby’s fine. You might-a told us you were a family man at some point, caused some shock with the boys. But they’re fine.” He chuckled, clearly trying to relieve my tension, but I still lacked the necessary deets, and I was getting more and more pissed off by the moment.
“Drop the shit, Hops.”
But I didn’t wait for a reply.
“Grath! Ellie! Where the fuck are you?” I yelled as I stormed into the house, on a mission to locate Ellie and see for myself that she and Peter were all right. I found them in the living room: Ellie pacing around, trying to calm a very fussy Peter, and Grath and the rest of the guys—four of them—hovering over and around her, looking none too pleased with the situation.
“What in the hell is going on here? What the fuck happened?”
Hops was following right on my heels, and took the lead. “Grath got a call from your woman here. She was cryin’, goin’ on about some guy cagin’ her in the house, had a baseball bat and a gun. She said she thought he’d use it. Baby was cryin’, and she locked herself and him in your bathroom, back o’ the house, in case the guy got in. Didn’t have her phone on her, used the one from your bedroom to call. As soon as Grath took the call, we were all on our bikes, got here fast as we could. Didn’t catch the guy—he was gone before we got here—but he left a message. Grath called Trini soon as we found your woman, made sure she was okay. That’s it. ’S all I know.”
I turned to Ellie, a little out of control with raging questions that demanded better answers. “Why the fuck didn’t you call me?”
She flinched, but also straightened her back as much as she could with the baby still in her arms. This woman had grit, I had to give her that. “I hit 2 on speed-dial, that’s who I got. You want me to call you in a repeat situation, you put your cell on your speed-dial.”
Okay. That was fair. “Good answer.” I gave her the point, and she relaxed again with a huff.
I still had a thousand more questions. In order to get her attention focused on me and keep it there, I took the baby into my hands and set him up by my neck, and looked her straight in the eye. “Ellie, talk to me.”
She finally stopped pacing, and while I held the baby—who had, indeed, been surprised enough by my quick grab and his new situation to calm the fuck down and start mouthing my collarbone—she took a deep breath and began filling in the blanks. “Yeah, so, it was that guy I told you about. You know, the one who followed me from Portland? I thought he was gone, out of my life, finally. I haven’t seen him in months. Months and months. Since I left here last summer, you know? But he found me here, somehow. I don’t know how, Jack. I don’t know how he found us.”
“Okay, babe, so he found you. Here. What did he do?”
“He was outside, yelling, calling me all kinds of names. You know. He knows about you, or…I mean, he knows I’m living here with you. He knows about Peter. I think he’s been watching us, watching the house. He knew you were gone today, he knew I was here alone with the baby. And he was livid. He said he was gonna take care of you, and then h
e’d take care of my baby, and then it’d be just me and him, the way it was meant to be.”
She was turning green, and looked about ready to puke. I shot a look at Grath, and he saw it, too. He called out to his partner, Stephan, “Water,” and took Ellie’s hand, pulling her toward the bathroom in the hallway. It took her a moment to see where he was leading her, and she shook her head and pulled out of his light grasp.
“No, it’s—I’m okay. I’ll be okay. I’m not going to lose it. I swear.”
“Okay, honey. But maybe you should sit down, yeah?”
“Yeah. Okay.” Grath and women, man. He never failed to connect easily.
She sat on the couch, took the proffered glass, and sipped gingerly. I took a seat right next to her, put my freer arm around her, and she leaned into me and Peter, burying her face between Peter’s chest and my own.
